the older i get the less i believe in god

D

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3rd Acc since 2022 | CL 5'11.5 23 inch bidelt
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deadass the older i get i realise how incompatible i am with christianity or the abrahamic religions. the values we are asked to do and follow are so unlike me. and knowing that all of are character is predetermined is just fucking unfair. i am so incompatable with love and forgiveness.

i have never felt love not even for my family, i am devoid of empathy as someone with narcissistic personality disorder and the only reason i would have for believing in god is wanting salvation on the off chance there is hell.

my initial reason for turning to religion was due to the unknown that a creator or cause would be needed where we dont have answers, (science being a how not a why) and christianity was the most historically reliable. islam claims the moon was split in half which is obviously not true.

its unfair that the only way to be saved are traits that are an act to me, fuck sake.

anyone else feel this way
 

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