The only time to make friends in College/Uni

[Bölþorn.Anabolic]

the first few weeks are the only time people are willing to form a real friend group, there is a study on that too.



Brutal I am the outsider I didn’t go to the orientation parties.



Tbh gonna be alone this whole year in classes full of people knowing each other.

 

[Bölþorn.Anabolic]

@Xangsane @pneumocystosis @BrahminBoss @andy9432 @Iasacrko @HarrierDuBois @Krakowski @MoggerGaston @Krakowski @shabby890 @Eli @Jungcuck @Gonthar @mbolo @Filosephario

 

[kebab]

Brutal I am the outsider I didn’t go to the orientation parties.

same bhai. Batman sigma chit innit

 

[Bölþorn.Anabolic]

same bhai. Batman sigma chit innit

Are the Swiss as cold as the Nordic?

 

[Deleted member 43058]

Imagine not going to the freshers

 

[Bölþorn.Anabolic]

Imagine not going to the freshers

For?

 

[kebab]

Are the Swiss as cold as the Nordic?

yes

 

[kebab]

For?

Meet people/sex

 

[Gonthar]

the first few weeks are the only time people are willing to form a real friend group, there is a study on that too.
Brutal I am the outsider I didn’t go to the orientation parties.
Tbh gonna be alone this whole year in classes full of people knowing each other.

Just slide in into their groups, go and chat with them, be affable and friendly:
"Namaste! How you doin' fellow students!".

 

[Bölþorn.Anabolic]

Just slide in into their groups, go and chat with them, be affable and friendly:
"Namaste! How you doin' fellow students!".
View attachment 2596051

Cope

The Nordics hate that you can't just small talk as an outsider

 

[incelmogger]

Will I be good getting in a group at start of 2nd year?

 

[kanderior]

In my experience for any social environment it's about 2 months before the friend groups solidify and it becomes exponentially harder to make friends (and you start to look weird trying to do so).

 

[Gonthar]

Cope

The Nordics hate that you can't just small talk as an outsider

Over for the Nordic society then...

 

[Gonthar]

In my experience for any social environment it's about 2 months before the friend groups solidify and it becomes exponentially harder to make friends (and you start to look weird trying to do so).

You know...I went to many schools, colleges, activity clubs, volunteer organizations, etc. and even though I would start strongly, go around and chat with everyone, be friendly, help newcomers, etc., eventually I would slowly start to be ignored, shunned from the "cool" groups and cliques, end up either alone or hanging with the losers and outcasts that no one else wants to associate with, and I've also seen quiet and unassuming guys who didn't even make any effort in the first weeks to chat or be friendly, being invited to hang out with the "cool" groups and eventually joining them, the truth is your personality and friendliness has little to do with making friends, you gravitate towards people with the same social value as you, looks/status/money dictate your social life, if you're ugly/low-status/poor/etc. people simply won't want to hang out with you...

 

[Deleted member 20399]

Not true tbh

 

[dimorphism]

Not true tbh

 

[Jungcuck]

Bro you can make friends at any time who cares go speak to small groups or lonely people

 

[Nick.Harte]

You know...I went to many schools, colleges, activity clubs, volunteer organizations, etc. and even though I would start strongly, go around and chat with everyone, be friendly, help newcomers, etc., eventually I would slowly start to be ignored, shunned from the "cool" groups and cliques, end up either alone or hanging with the losers and outcasts that no one else wants to associate with, and I've also seen quiet and unassuming guys who didn't even make any effort in the first weeks to chat or be friendly, being invited to hang out with the "cool" groups and eventually joining them, the truth is your personality and friendliness has little to do with making friends, you gravitate towards people with the same social value as you, looks/status/money dictate your social life, if you're ugly/low-status/poor/etc. people simply won't want to hang out with you...

No social skills for your face and height.

 

[Jungcuck]

I have the chance to have friends from my first year of uni in my last/5th year

 

[Nick.Harte]

Fuck orientation. Just be good looking and people will talk to you.

 

[Bölþorn.Anabolic]

Fuck orientation. Just be good looking and people will talk to you.

Not gonna happen in scandinavia

 

[Deleted member 23245]

Just make friends with your flatmates and host parties

 

[Nick.Harte]

Not gonna happen in scandinavia

Human nature is the same everywhere.

 

[Bölþorn.Anabolic]

Human nature is the same everywhere.

Go live in Norway then

 

[kanderior]

You know...I went to many schools, colleges, activity clubs, volunteer organizations, etc. and even though I would start strongly, go around and chat with everyone, be friendly, help newcomers, etc., eventually I would slowly start to be ignored, shunned from the "cool" groups and cliques, end up either alone or hanging with the losers and outcasts that no one else wants to associate with, and I've also seen quiet and unassuming guys who didn't even make any effort in the first weeks to chat or be friendly, being invited to hang out with the "cool" groups and eventually joining them, the truth is your personality and friendliness has little to do with making friends, you gravitate towards people with the same social value as you, looks/status/money dictate your social life, if you're ugly/low-status/poor/etc. people simply won't want to hang out with you...

Same here. After many failures and having exactly this happen, I managed to pin it down to:

1. Low inhib, but:
2. Some NTness, though not as crucial as people think, a lot of people know that really weird guy who has a lot of friends and people affectionately put up with his antics, so you can be non-NT to an extent. 2 popular party guys in my uni were borderline autistic, not giving a fuck about social conventions and often exhibiting weird random behavior. The most popular guy in my high school would act super weird occasionally. Very low inhib can look like autism sometimes, think Jon Zherka. You want just enough NTness to know when to act normal and be capable of doing so.
3. Indications of status and coolness. And I don't mean money, but cool stories, photos or other evidence indicating you live an interesting life (sports, cool experiences, accomplishments, sexual experience) and have a lot of friends. This is the most important one, this is what qualifies you and establishes you in the eyes of others as "cool" or "normal". All the cool popular guys I've known where guys with fun personal stories and adventures to talk about, or wisdom from experience to share with the group.
4. Having something of value to offer to a group. Whether you're funny (in a cool high-value way, not jestermaxxing), a big house they can have parties at, cool fun ideas when you're out and taking the initiative to make the group do them, money etc. The thing that makes a group answer "yes" to "should we invite him as well?". Has to be combined with the other 3 cause otherwise you're just the friendship version of betabux.
5. At least normal-looking appearance. In my experience looksmaxxing stuff doesn't really apply irl unless you look completely subhuman. Most high-status popular guys whose lives I envied were low-inhib MTNs or LTNs.

What has always failoed me hard was 2, if you fell off the tracks in high school it's very hard to become high-status in uni and it's the hardest to fake. And it snowballs too, the longer you lack it the harder it is to get your life together and fix it and the more its penalties on you increase cause your gap with others increases.

 

[Bölþorn.Anabolic]

Same here. After many failures and having exactly this happen, I managed to pin it down to:

1. Some NTness, though not as crucial as people think, a lot of people know that really weird guy who has a lot of friends and people affectionately put up with his antics, so you can be non-NT to an extent. 2 popular party guys in my uni were borderline autistic, not giving a fuck about social conventions and often exhibiting weird random behavior. The most popular guy in my high school would act super weird occasionally. Very low inhib can look like autism sometimes, think Jon Zherka.
2. Indications of status and coolness. And I don't mean money, but cool stories, photos or other evidence indicating you live an interesting life (sports, cool experiences, accomplishments, sexual experience) and have a lot of friends. This is the most important one, this is what qualifies you and establishes you in the eyes of others as "cool" or "normal".
3. Having something of value to offer to a group. Whether you're funny (in a cool high-value way, not jestermaxxing), a big house they can have parties at, cool fun ideas when you're out and taking the initiative to make the group do them, money etc. The thing that makes a group answer "yes" to "should we invite him as well?". Has to be combined with the other 2 cause otherwise you're just the friendship version of betabux.
4. At least normal-looking appearance. In my experience looksmaxxing stuff doesn't really apply irl unless you look completely subhuman. Most high-status popular guys whose lives I envied were low-inhib MTNs or LTNs.

What has always failoed me hard was 2, if you fell off the tracks in high school it's very hard to become high-status in uni and it's the hardest to fake. And it snowballs too, the longer you lack it the harder it is to get your life together and fix it and the more its penalties on you increase cause your gap with others increases.

Maintaining status is the hardest thing in the world

 

[kanderior]

Maintaining status is the hardest thing in the world

I wouldn't say maintaining but creating it in the first place. It snowballs so if you got a good start in high school it will continue and increase in uni and beyond, if you didn't then it becomes harder and harder to create it as you age.

 

[wsada]

Water I knew this and tried to do something about it this year but failed miserably again..