mogstar
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- Joined
- Dec 17, 2020
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But I felt no jealousy whatsoever at this orgy.
I watched, up close and personal, as my boyfriend got his dick sucked by another woman ... and I was totally OK with it. I actually kind of enjoyed it.
I did feel a twinge of something, something other than simple enjoyment and general OK-ness. Surprise, perhaps, is the best word for it. Sudden adjustment. Category error. But the closest I came to jealousy were a few passing moments of, "Shouldn't I be feeling jealous about this?" I kept expecting to feel bad about what I was seeing ... and it kept not happening.
And it occurred to me: My problem with my boyfriend cheating on me wasn't a problem with him having sex with other people.
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It was a problem with me being left out.
My problem was with him spending his time chasing other women at the serious expense of time spent with me. It was with him making major decisions about our relationship unilaterally, and then making me feel guilty that I wasn't OK with it. It was with him blatantly trying to seduce other women in front of my face, even though he knew it upset me. It was with him spending nights with other women without consideration for the fact that I might be worried and wondering where the hell he was.
This was the problem. And therefore, the orgy wasn't a problem. The orgy was an experience we were sharing, a decision we made together, a sexual adventure we were having as a couple. None of the "being abandoned and disregarded" stuff that was going on with the cheating was going on in that puppy pile.
And that lesson has stuck with me to this day.
I watched, up close and personal, as my boyfriend got his dick sucked by another woman ... and I was totally OK with it. I actually kind of enjoyed it.
I did feel a twinge of something, something other than simple enjoyment and general OK-ness. Surprise, perhaps, is the best word for it. Sudden adjustment. Category error. But the closest I came to jealousy were a few passing moments of, "Shouldn't I be feeling jealous about this?" I kept expecting to feel bad about what I was seeing ... and it kept not happening.
And it occurred to me: My problem with my boyfriend cheating on me wasn't a problem with him having sex with other people.
Advertisement:
It was a problem with me being left out.
My problem was with him spending his time chasing other women at the serious expense of time spent with me. It was with him making major decisions about our relationship unilaterally, and then making me feel guilty that I wasn't OK with it. It was with him blatantly trying to seduce other women in front of my face, even though he knew it upset me. It was with him spending nights with other women without consideration for the fact that I might be worried and wondering where the hell he was.
This was the problem. And therefore, the orgy wasn't a problem. The orgy was an experience we were sharing, a decision we made together, a sexual adventure we were having as a couple. None of the "being abandoned and disregarded" stuff that was going on with the cheating was going on in that puppy pile.
And that lesson has stuck with me to this day.
