rosaparksIooksmin
Iron
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2026
- Posts
- 11
- Reputation
- 9
The past 3 years of my life have been pain. Ive become addicted to drugs on about 4 seperate occasions with almost 2 months of clean between them. Im clean right now about a month but I don’t know when I might start again. Im unable to feel feelings and i dont want to speak to a psychiatrist to avoid being diagnosed. I know for sure i was in psychosis not too long ago; around the time when my drug usage was much more heavy. I would see and hear things and was having a very hard time masking at school. The one person who made me feel feelings was a girl. I had so many meaningful experiences with her but nobody wants to hear that. She blocked on new years randomly because I was a control freak and would try to know everything about her. Ive matured from that but i cant get her back. I hope all she cares about is looks because thats all i have to offer. That was 3 years ago. Immediately after our school year ended i never saw her again and still havent. I started smoking when i was in middle school but never picked it up until after she was gone. It started with nicotine then weed then i tried shrooms and eventually started taking molly. All in less then a year. I want her back. How do i feel something without having to use drugs or be around her?
