Redpill The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi

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The RATIONAL MALE Rollo Tomassi The Rational Male Rollo Tomassi The Rational Male, first edition copyright © 2013 Rollo Tomassi. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without prior permission of the publisher and author. ISBN: 1492777862 ISBN - 13: 978-1492777861 Published by Counterflow Media LLC, Nevada Design and layout by Rollo Tomassi. The Basics There is no ONE 3 The Cardinal Rule of Relationships 8 Truth to Power 9 The Desire Dynamic 13 Imagination 14 Schedules of Mating 16 Buffers 20 Compensation 22 Alpha 25 Defining Alpha 27 The Origins of Alpha 30 The Contextual Alpha 33 Plate Theory Plate Theory I - Abundance & Scarcity 40 Plate Theory II - Non-Exclusivity 43 Plate Theory III - Transitioning 47 Plate Theory IV - Goal-State Monogamy 52 Plate Theory V - Lady’s Game 55 Plate Theory VI - Scarcity to Abundance 58 Plugged In AFC - Average Frustrated Chump 63 Playing Friends 65 Letting Go of Invisible Friends 68 Enter White Knight 70 The Honor System 72 The Savior Schema 74 Inter-gender Friendship 76 Unplugging Dispelling the Magic 83 Identity Crisis 85 Dream Girls and Children with Dynamite 88 Kill the Beta 90 Appreciation 95 Dream Killers 98 Have A Look 101 The Five Stages of Unplugging 103 The Bitter Taste of the Red Pill 104 Game The Evolution of Game 111 Rewriting the Rules 117 Navigating the SMP 120 Just Be Yourself 125 The Nice Guy - Jerk Spectrum 128 Beta Game 131 The Pheromonal Beta 134 Dread Games 138 The Meta Game 141 Communication The Medium is the Message 147 Just Get It 151 Dijo Sin Hablar 154 The Horse’s Mouth 155 Qualities of the Prince 157 Social Conventions Operative Social Conventions 165 AFC Social Conventions 170 The Paradox of Commitment 174 Bitter Misogynists 176 Hypergamy The Disposables 183 War Brides 186 Mrs. Hyde 188 Hypergamy Doesn’t Care 192 Relational Equity 194 The Hypergamy Conspiracy 197 Women & Regret 200 The Pet 202 The Iron Rules of Tomassi Iron Rule I 209 Iron Rule II 212 Iron Rule III 214 Iron Rule IV 219 Iron Rule V 221 Iron Rule VI 224 Iron Rule VII 228 Iron Rule VIII 229 Iron Rule IX 232 Mythology The Myth of the Lonely Old Man 239 The Myth of Women & Sex 241 The Myth of the ‘Good Girl’ 244 The Myth of the Biological Clock 247 The Myth of Male Looks 249 The Myth of Leminine SMV 253 Of Love and War 257 The Feminine Imperative The Leminine Reality 265 The Leminine Mystique 270 The Wall 272 The Threat 275 Positive Masculinity vs. Equalism 278 Afterword Contents Introduction In January of 2001 1 was entering a state university for the first time in my life at the ripe age of 32. My relatively late-life enrollment was the result of a what I believed then was a misspent youth and I was atoning for the indiscretions of what I call my hock star’ 20’s. I had a lot of catching up to do thanks to the decisions I’d made in my early and mid-twenties and a sense of incompleteness that I felt at the time. In hindsight I’m glad I did return to school, better late than never, because I was learning the intrinsic value of an education. I can remember listening to the grumblings of guys in my class who were ten years my junior saying, “What the hell do I need to learn this shit for? It won’t help me in the job I’m studying for.” I suppose I might’ve felt the same way at 22 if I hadn’t been more concerned with playing the next gig in the next band I was in on a weekend in Hollywood. I could never have appreciated the value of being an educated person. While a good job is definitely a concrete goal of bettering oneself, being educated, on a great many subjects, and learning how to learn, is its own reward. Although I didn’t attend a ‘liberal arts university’ per se, my degree is in fine art. However after having worked in design, advertising, marketing and branding throughout my professional life I knew that my minor (if later a double major) had to be in psychology. My initial interest in psychology was due to the want of a better understanding of the often difficult personalities I was forced to deal with in my career, so personality studies and behaviorism was a natural fit for me. Much of what I have compiled in this book is the direct result of over a decade of applying these schools of psychology to the gender dynamics I’ve experienced personally, as well as the collective experiences of millions of men around the world. Connecting Dots While I was studying psychology, I felt a natural attraction toward behaviorism. Like most people, I was peripherally familiar with the more touchy-feely branches of psychology like psycho-analysis and the “sit down on the couch and lets talk about feelings” applications most people associate with psychology. Behaviorism was a much more concrete approach; one based on behaviors and the motivators for them. One of the primary foundations of Game-awareness is basing your estimation of a woman upon her actions and behaviors rather than her words or implied intents. This principle is founded in behaviorism’s cardinal principle - behavior is the only reliable evidence of motivation. Even motivations not consciously recognized by the actor can influence behavior regardless of a consciously rationalized motive. In other words, sometimes we don’t realize why we’re hypocrites or saints as the case may be. Coming to terms with this behavioral foundation was the first dot I connected between hard psychology and inter-gender dynamics. For roughly a year or two before I enrolled I’d been actively posting on a few online forums attempting to help some young men with their ‘girl problems’. Initially these forums weren’t in any way related to what would later become the ‘community’ or Game oriented in nature. I’d heard of the early Pick Up Artists like Mystery and a few others, but they weren’t promoting anything I hadn’t already known from my more libertine rock star twenties. I was more interested in helping these guys not make the mistakes (for much of the same reasons) with women that I had. However I just couldn’t shake the feeling that there was a distinct connection between what these guys were going through, what the PUAs of the time were advocating and the behavioral psychology I was becoming more and more saturated in. The average Beta guys who were agonizing over their girlfriend problems and the behavioral basis upon which PUA techniques were founded on had a common root in psychology. About this time I had joined the online community at SoSuave.com. This forum would become my testing ground for connecting the dots I was beginning to become aware of. I should say that I did make an effort to propose that inter-gender relations were based in, sometimes harsh, behaviorism with colleagues and teachers. I was kind of taken aback more often than not when the same teachers who were promoting behavioral psychology as a hard science were the most outspoken critics of what I was brining to light for them. I couldn’t understand, then, what would possibly prevent them from connecting the dots and coming to the uncomfortable conclusions I was making. I know now, and you will too by the end of this book, but at the time I hadn’t figured out the influence the feminine imperative and romantic idealism had on their willingness to accept what I was proposing in spite of their adherence to hard behaviorism. My inquiries and hashing out theories and ideas would have to be done on a forum where I could look for input, or maybe find that other men had concepts I hadn’t considered, in a meeting place of similar ideas. SoSuave was that forum for me for well over twelve years. Most of the concepts you will read in this book are the result of over a decade of debate, critical inquiry and refinement. However, in most cases, I still encourage their questioning and none are unmodifiable or above further refinement. What you’re about to read are a refinement of the core ideas and concepts I’ve formalized on my blog - The Rational Male (therationalmale.com). I began The Rational Male at the request of my readers on various men’s forums and comments on blogs in the ‘manosphere’ in 2011. After the popularity of the blog exploded inside a year it became apparent that a book form of the basic principles was needed for new readers as I moved past them, and built upon the prior concepts. For the most part I’ve rewritten and edited for publishing the blog posts of the first year at Rational Male. I’ve left in most of the jingoisms and acronyms that are characteristic of the blog (for instance, SMV is sexual market value) and are commonly used in the manosphere, however I’ve made every attempt to define them as I go along. Furthermore, many of the concepts I explore in this book came from a question by one of my readers. As with most commenters, their anonymity is assumed in the form their online ‘handle’. The important thing to remember is the concept being discussed and not so much the importance of who is proposing or contradicting a concept. Before you begin reading The primary reason I decided to codify the Rational Male into a book came from a reader by the name of Jaquie. Jaquie was an older, married woman, who genuinely took to what I proposed about inter-gender dynamics on Rational Male. Jaquie wasn’t exactly a typical reader for me, but she asked me to help her understand some concepts better so she could help her son who was about to marry a woman whom she knew would be detrimental to his life. Jaquie said, “I wish you had a book out with all of this stuff in it so I could give it to him. He’s very Beta and whipped, but if I had a book to put in his hands he would read it.” So it is for the sons of Jaquie’s that I decided to put this book out. And it’s in this spirit that I’ll need to ask you, the reader, to clear your head of a few things before you begin to digest any of it. The Rational Male literally has millions of readers world-wide, so there’s a strong likelihood that you bought this book to keep on a shelf and loan to friends because you’re already familiar with its concepts. There’s a certain power and legitimacy that the printed word has that a blog or some online article lacks, so if you already are a Rational Male reader be sure you do loan the book out, or encourage the plugged-in to read and discuss it. If you are picking this book up for the first time, or had it handed to you by a friend or loved one, and have never heard of the Rational Male or the manosphere or have had any exposure to the ideas I put forth here, I’ll humbly ask that you read with an open mind. That sounds like an easy cop out - open your mind - it kind of sounds like something a religious cult would preface their literature with. We all like to think we already have open minds and we’re all perfectly rational, and perfectly capable of critical thinking. I ask you to clear your head of the preconceptions you have of gender because what you’re about to read here are very radical concepts; concepts that will challenge your perspective on women, men, how they interact with each other, and how social structures evolve around those relations. You will violently disagree with some of these concepts, and others will give you that “ah ha!” moment of realization. Some of these concepts will grate on the investment your ego has in certain beliefs about how men and women ought to relate with each other, while others will validate exactly the experiences you may have had personally with them. Some are ugly. Some are not complementary of women and some of men, you’ll think I’m a misogynist on first glance because it’s the default response you’ve been taught to react with. For others, you might feel some kind of vindication for getting burned by your ex and realizing what was at play when it happened. I realize it’s a tall order, but strive not to let your personal feelings color what I lay out for you here. You’ll love me and you’ll hate me. You’ll think “well, not in my case, and here’s why,..” or you’ll think “wow this is some really ground breaking stuff.” I’m not a psychologist, or a PUA, or a men’s rights activist, or a motivational speaker. I’m just a guy who’s connected some dots. Introduction “Why do my eyes hurt?” “You’ve never used them before. ” The Basics ONEitis: An unhealthy romantic obsession with a single person. Usually accompanied by unreciprocated affection and completely unrealistic idealization of the said person. ONEitis is paralysis. You cease to mature, you cease to move, you cease to be you. There is no ONE. This is the soul-mate myth. There are some good Ones and some bad Ones, but there is no ONE. Anyone telling you anything else is selling you something. There are lots of 'special someones’ out there for you, just ask the divorced / widowed person who’s remarried after their “soul-mate” has died or moved on with another person they insist is their real soul-mate. This is what trips people up about the soul-mate myth, it is this fantasy that we all at least in some way share an idealization of - that there is ONE perfect mate for each of us, and as soon as the planets align and fate takes its course we’ll know that we’re ‘ intended ’ for each other. While this may make for a gratifying romantic comedy plot, it’s hardly a realistic way to plan your life. In fact it’s usually paralyzing. What I find even more fascinating is how common the idea is (and particularly for guys) that a nuts & bolts view of life should be trumped by this fantasy in the area of inter- sexual relationships. Men who would otherwise recognize the value of understanding psychology, biology, sociology, evolution, business, engineering, etc., men with a concrete awareness of the interplay we see these aspects take place in our lives on a daily basis, are some of the first guys to become violently opposed to the idea that maybe there isn’t “someone for everyone” or that there are a lot more ONEs out there that could meet or exceed the criteria we subconsciously set for them to be the ONE. I think it comes off as nihilistic, or this dread that maybe their ego-investment in this belief is false - it’s like saying “God is dead” to the deeply religious. It’s just too terrible to contemplate that there maybe no ONE, or there maybe several ONEs to spend their lives with. This western romanticized mythology is based on the premise that there is only ONE perfect mate for any single individual and as much as a lifetime can and should be spent in constant search of this 'soul¬ mate.’ So strong and so pervasive is this myth in our collective consciousness that it has become akin to a religious statement, and in fact has been integrated into many religious doctrines as the feminization of western culture has spread. I think there’s been a mischaracterization of ONEitis. It’s necessary to differentiate between a healthy relationship based on mutual affinity and respect, and a lopsided ONEitis based relationship. I’ve had more than a few guys seeking my advice, or challenging my take on ONEitis, essentially asking me for permission to accept ONEitis as legitimate monogamy. “But Rollo, it’s got to be OK for a guy to have ONEitis for his wife or girlfriend. After all she’s the ONE for him, right?” In my estimation ONEitis is an unhealthy psychological dependency that is the direct result of the continuous socialization of the soul-mate myth in our collective consciousness. What’s truly frightening is that ONEitis has become associated with being a healthy normative aspect of a long term relationship (LTR) or marriage. I come to the conclusion that ONEitis is based in sociological roots, not only due to it being a statement of personal belief, but by the degree to which this ideology is disseminated and mass marketed in popular culture through media, music, literature, movies, etc. Dating services like eHarmony shamelessly marketeer and exploit exactly the insecurities that this dynamic engenders in people desperately searching for the ONE “they were intended for.” The idea that men possess a natural capacity for protection, provisioning and semi-monogamy has merit from both a social and bio-psychological standpoint, but a ONEitis psychosis is not a byproduct of it. Rather, I would set it apart from this healthy protector/provider dynamic since ONEitis essentially sabotages what our natural propensities would otherwise filter. ONEitis is insecurity run amok while a person is single, and potentially paralyzing when coupled with the object of that ONEitis in an LTR. The same neurotic desperation that drives a person to settle for their ONE whether healthy or unhealthy is the same insecurity that paralyzes them from abandoning a damaging relationship - This is their ONE and how could they ever live without them? Or, they’re my ONE, but all I need is to fix myself or fix them to have my idealized relationship. This idealization of a relationship is at the root of ONEitis. With such a limiting, all-or-nothing binary approach to searching for ONE needle in the haystack, and investing emotional effort over the course of a lifetime, how do we mature into a healthy understanding of what that relationship should really entail? The very pollyanna, idealized relationship - the “happily ever after” - that belief in a ONE promotes as an ultimate end, is thwarted and contradicted by the costs of the constant pursuit of the ONE for which they’ll settle for. After the better part of a lifetime is invested in this ideology, how much more difficult will it be to come to the realization that the person they’re with isn’t their ONE? To what extents will a person go to in order to protect a lifetime of this ego investment? At some point in a ONEitis relationship one participant will establish dominance based on the powerlessness that this ONEitis necessitates. There is no greater agency for a woman than to know beyond doubt that she is the only source of a man’s need for sex and intimacy. A ONEitis mindset only cements this into the understanding of both parties. For a man who believes that the emotionally and psychologically damaging relationship he has ego-invested himself is with the only person in his lifetime he’s ever going to be compatible with, there is nothing more paralyzing in his maturation. The same of course holds true for women, and this is why we shake our heads when see an exceptionally beautiful woman go chasing back to her abusive and indifferent Jerk boyfriend, because she believes he is her ONE and the only source of security available to her. Hypergamy may be her root imperative for sticking with him, but it’s the soul¬ mate myth, the fear of the “ONE that got away” that makes for the emotional, almost spiritual, investment. The definition of Power is not financial success, status or influence over others, but the degree to which we have control over our own lives. Subscribing to the soul-mate mythology necessitates that we recognize powerlessness in this arena of our lives. Better I think it would be to foster a healthy understanding that there is no ONE. There are some good Ones and there are some bad Ones, but there is no ONE. Religion of the Soul-Mate What you’ve just read was one of my earliest posts back on the SoSuave forums from around 2003-04.1 was finishing my degree then and had the Fallacy of the ONE graphically illustrated for me in a psychology class one day. I was in class, surrounded by (mostly) much younger students than myself, all very astute and as intellectual as they come for mid twenty-somethings. At one point the discussion had come around to religion and much of the class expressed being agnostic or atheist, or “spiritual, but not religious”. The rationale was of course that religion and belief could be explained as psychological (fear of mortality) constructs that were expanded to sociological dynamics. Later in that discussion the idea of a 'soul mate’ came up. The professor didn’t actually use the word 'soul’, but rather couched the idea by asking for a show of hands as to how many of the class believed “there was a special someone out there for them?” or if they feared “the ONE that got away.” Damn near the entire class raised their hands. For all of their rational empiricism and appeals to realism in regards to spirituality, they (almost) unanimously expressed a quasi- Karmic belief in connecting with another idealized person on an intimate level for a lifetime. Even the Frat guys and hook-up girls who I knew weren’t expressly looking for anything long term in their dating habits still raised their hands in assent to a belief in a ONE. Some later explained what that ONE meant to them, and most had differing definitions of that idealization - some even admitted to it being an idealization as the discussion progressed - yet almost all of them still had what would otherwise be termed an irrational belief in ‘predestination’ or, even amongst the least spiritual, that it’s just part of life to pair off with someone significant and there was “someone for everyone”. This discussion was the catalyst for one of my awakening realizations - despite all odds, people largely feel entitled to, or deserving of, an important love of their life. Statistically and pragmatically this is ridiculous, but there it is. The feminized Disney-fication of this core concept has been romanticized and commercialized to the point of it becoming a religion, even for the expressly non-religious. The Shakespearean longing for the ONE, the search for another soul (mate) who was destined to be our match has been systematically distorted beyond all reason. And as I’ll elaborate later, men will take their own lives in the delusion of having lost their soul-mate. Soul-Mate Men This perversion of the soul-mate myth is attributable to a large part of the feminized social conventions we deal with today. The fear of isolation from our imagined soul-mate, or the fear of having irrecoverably lost that ‘perfect ONE’ for us fuels so much of the personal and social neuroses we find in the contemporary matrix of our society. For example, much of the fear inherent in the Myth of the Lonely Old Man loses its teeth without a core belief in the Soul- Mate Myth. The fear of loss and the delusions of Relational Equity only really matter when the person men believe that equity should influence is their predestined ONE. The feminine imperative recognized the overwhelming power the Soul-Mate Myth had over men (and women) from the beginnings of its rise to ascendancy as the primary gender social imperative. Virtually all of the distortions of the core soul-mate dynamic evolved as a controlling schema for men. When it is soul-mate women who are the primary reward for a soul-mate necessitous man, there are a lot of opportunities to consolidate that power upon. To be clear, don’t think this is some fiendish plot of a fem-centric cabal socially engineering that soul-mate fear into men. Generations of men, raised to be oblivious to it, willingly and actively help perpetuate the Soul-Mate Myth. Soul-Mate Women Although Hypergamy plays a large role in determining what makes for an idealized soul-mate for women, they aren’t immune to the exploitations of that core fear. Though it’s more an unfortunate byproduct than an outright manipulation, I’d argue that in some ways hypergamy intensifies that neurosis. An Alpha Widow knows all too well the languishing associated with pining for the Alpha that got away - particularly when she’s paired off long-term with the dutiful, Beta provider after her sexual market value (SMV) declines. For women, the soul-mate represents that nigh unattainable combination of arousing Alpha dominance matched with a loyal providership for her long term security that only she can tame out of him. Hypergamy hates the soul-mate principle, because the soul-mate is an absolute definition, whereas hypergamy must alway test for perfection. Hypergamy asks, “Is he the ONE? Is he the ONE?” and the Soul-Mate Myth replies, “He HAS to be the ONE, he’s your soul-mate, and there’s ONLY one of those.” Building the Mystery Due to this core concept and soul-mate mythology, both sexes will seek to perfect that idealization for themselves - even under the least ideal of conditions and expressions. We want to build our intimate relations into that soul-mate idealism in order to relieve the fear and solve the problem, and most times so badly that we’ll deftly ignore the warnings, abuses and consequences of having done so. For women the impact of the most significant Alpha male is what initially defines that soul-mate idealization. For men it may be the first woman to become sexual with him or the one who best exemplifies a woman he (mistakenly) believes can love him in a male-defined orientation of love. However, these are the points of origin for building that soul-mate ideal upon. This ideal is then compounded upon with layers of investments in the hopes that this person “might actually be the one fate has prescribed for them.” Emotional investment, personal, financial, even life-potential investments and sacrifices then follow in an effort to create a soul-mate. In the absence of an ideal, one must be created from available resources. This process is why I say the Soul-Mate Myth is ridiculous - it’s psychologically much more pragmatic to construct another person to fit that ideal than it ever will be to “wait for fate to take its course.” People subscribing to the myth would rather build a soul-mate, consequences be damned. So women will attempt to Build a better Beta, or tame down an Alpha, while men will attempt to turn a whore into a housewife, or vice versa. One of the most bitter aftertastes of having awakened to the red-pill truth is abandoning old paradigms for new. I’ve described this before as akin to killing an old friend, and one friend that needs killing is exactly this mythology. Disabusing yourself of this core fear is vital to fully unplugging yourself from the old paradigm, because so much of fem-centric social conditioning is dependent upon it. Dropping the Soul-Mate Myth isn’t the nihilism a lot of people might have you believe it is. If anything it will free you to have a better, healthier future relationship with someone who is genuinely important to you - a relationship based on genuine desire, mutual respect, complimentary understanding of each other and love, rather than one based on a fear of losing your ONE and only representation of contentment in this life. In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least. This is a foundation of any relationship, not just intersexual ones, but family, business, etc. relationships as well. It is a dynamic that is always in effect. For my own well being and that of my family’s, I need my employer more than he needs me, ergo I get up for work in the morning and work for him. And while I am also a vital part for the uninterrupted continuance of his company and endeavors, he simply needs me less than I need him. Now I could win the lottery tomorrow or he may decide to cut my pay or limit my benefits, or I may complete my Masters Degree and decide that I can do better than to keep myself yoked to his cart indefinitely, thereby, through some condition either initiated by myself or not, I am put into a position of needing him less than he needs me. At this point he is forced into a position of deciding how much I am worth to his ambitions and either part ways with me or negotiate a furtherance of our relationship. The same plays true for intersexual relationships. Whether you want to base your relationship on ‘power’ or not isn’t the issue; it’s already in play from your first point of attraction. You are acceptable to her for meeting any number of criteria and she meets your own as well. If this weren’t the case you simply would not initiate a mutual relationship. In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least. This is a foundation of any relationship, not just intersexual ones, but family, business, etc. relationships as well. It is a dynamic that is always in effect. For my own well being and that of my family’s, I need my employer more than he needs me, ergo I get up for work in the morning and work for him. While I am also a vital part for the uninterrupted continuance of his company and endeavors, he simply needs me less than I need him. Now I could win the lottery tomorrow or he may decide to cut my pay or limit my benefits, or I may complete my Masters Degree and decide that I can do better than to keep myself yoked to his cart indefinitely, thereby, through some condition either initiated by myself or not, I am put into a position of needing him less than he needs me. At this point he is forced into a position of evaluating my necessity to his future ambitions and either part ways with me or negotiate a furtherance of our relationship. The same plays true for intersexual relationships. Whether you want to base your relationship on ‘power’ or not isn’t the issue; it’s already in play from your first point of attraction. You are acceptable to her for meeting any number of her criteria and she meets your own as well. If this weren’t the case you simply would not initiate a mutual relationship. This is the first comparison we make with another individual - call it ‘sizing up’ if you like - but we make innate (and often unconscious) comparisons about everything and in the case of initial attraction we decide if the other person is acceptable for our own intimacy. This principle isn’t so much about ‘power’ as it is about control. This might sound like semantics, but it makes a difference. It’s very easy to slip into binary arguments and think that what I mean by the cardinal rule of relationships is that one participant must absolutely rule over the other - a domineering dominant to a doormat submissive. The problem with our modern interpretation of power is to think of it in extreme, absolute terms. Control in a healthy relationship passes back and forth as desire and need dictate for each partner. In an unhealthy relationship you have an unbalanced manipulation of this control by a partner. Although control is never in complete balance, it becomes manipulation when one partner, in essence blackmails, the other with what would otherwise be a reinforcer for the manipulated under a healthy circumstance. This happens for a plethora different reasons, but the condition comes about by two ways - the submissive participant becomes conditioned to allow the manipulation to occur and/or the dominate initiates the manipulation. In either case the rule still holds true - the one who needs the other the least has the most control. Nowhere is this more evident than in interpersonal relationships. Too many people who I’ve counseled and read my blog assume that this Rule means that I’m advocating the maintaining a position of dominance at the expense of their partner’s best interests; far from it. I do however advocate that people - young men in particular - develop a better sense of self-worth and a better understanding of their true efficacy in their relationships (assuming you decide to become involved in one). Don’t get me wrong, both sexes are guilty of manipulation; Battered women go back to their abusive boyfriends/husbands and pussy-whipped men compromise themselves and their ambitions to better serve their girlfriends insecurities. My intent in promoting this Rule is to open the eyes of young men who are already predisposed to devaluing themselves and placing women as the goal of their lives rather than seeing themselves as the prize to be sought after. Compromise is always going to be a part of any relationship, but what’s key is realizing when that compromise becomes the result of manipulation, what is in effect and developing the confidence to be uncompromising in those situations. This is where a firm understanding of the cardinal rule of relationships becomes essential. There’s nothing wrong with backing down from an argument you have with your girlfriend, but there is something wrong when you continually compromise yourself in order to ‘keep the peace’ with the understanding that she’ll withhold intimacy as a result of you holding your ground. That is a power play, also known as a ‘shit test’. She initiates it thus becoming the controlling party. No woman’s intimacy (i.e. sex) is ever worth that compromise because in doing so you devalue your own worth to her. Once this precedent is set, she will progressively have less respect for you - exactly opposite of the popular conception that she’ll appreciate your compromising for her and reward you for this. And really, what are you compromising in order to achieve? Set in this condition, you’re appealing for her intimacy. That isn’t genuine desire or real interest in you, it’s a subtle psychological test (that all too many men are unaware of) meant to determine who needs the other more. There is no more a superior confidence for a man than one with the self-understanding that he will not compromise himself for the recognized manipulations of a woman, and the fortitude to walk away knowing he has in the past, and will in the future find a better prospect than her. This is the man who passes the shit test. It’s called ‘enlightened self-interest’, and a principle I wholly endorse. Truth to Power Denying the utility of Power, vilifying it’s usages, is in itself a means of using Power. Real change works from the inside out. If you don’t change your mind about yourself, you wont change anything else. Women can change their hair color, their makeup, clothes, breast size, and any number of cosmetic alteration on a whim, or as they can afford them, but the constant discontent, the constant inadequacies they complain of are rooted in their self-perceptions, not how others really perceive them. This is an outside-in mentality; hoping the external will change the internal, and it’s just this mentality that lesser men apply to themselves - the only difference being the application. The Average Frustrated Chump (AFC for lack of a better term) has the same problem as the vain woman (OK, really any woman) - a lack of true self¬ understanding of their own problem. It’s very difficult to do self-analysis and self-criticism, particularly when it comes to questioning our own beliefs and the reasons our personalities are what they are. It’s akin to telling someone they’re not living their lives ‘correctly’ or that they’re raising their children ‘wrong’; only it’s more difficult because we’re doing the telling about ourselves to ourselves. Self-estimation (not self-esteem) never happens spontaneously, there always has to be some crisis to prompt it. Anxiety, trauma and crisis are necessary catalysts to stimulate self-consciousness. A breakup, a death, a betrayal; tragically, it’s at these points in our lives that we do our best introspection, we have our ‘moments of clarity’ and yes, discover what abysmal, simpering chumps we’ve allowed ourselves to be molded into. Denial The first step to really unplugging from our preconditioning (i.e. the feminine Matrix) is recognizing that this conditioning has led to the beliefs we think are integral to our personalities. The psychological term for this is called ‘ego- investment’. When a person internalizes a mental schema so thoroughly, and has become conditioned to it for so long, it becomes an integral part of their personality. So to attack the belief is to, literally, attack the person. This is why we see such a violent reaction to people’s political, religious, inter-social/inter- sexual, inter-gender, etc. expressions of belief - they perceive it as a personal attack, even when presented with irrefutable, empirical evidence that challenges the veracity of those beliefs. One common frustration that Game-aware Men express is how difficult it is to open an AFCs eyes as to why he’s not hooking up, why he’s not getting dates (or 2nd dates if he is), why he’s constantly getting 'lets just be friends’ (LJBF) rejections, etc., and all the flaws in what is really ego-investment internalizations. As I’m fond of saying, it’s dirty work unplugging chumps from the Matrix, and this is made all the more difficult when a person is in a categorical state of denial. People resort to denial when recognizing that the truth would destroy something they hold dear. In the case of a cheating partner, denial lets you avoid acknowledging evidence of your own humiliation. Short of catching a spouse in bed with your best friend, evidence of infidelity is usually ambiguous. It’s motivated skepticism. You’re more skeptical of things you don’t want to believe and demand a higher level of proof. Denial is unconscious, or it wouldn’t work: if you know you’re closing your eyes to the truth, some part of you knows what the truth is and denial can’t perform its protective function. One thing we all struggle to protect is a positive self-image. The more important the aspect of your self-image that’s challenged by the truth, the more likely you are to go into denial. If you have a strong sense of self-worth and competence, your self-image can take hits but remain largely intact; if you’re beset by self¬ doubt (a hallmark of self-righteous AFC thinking), however, any acknowledgment of failure can be devastating and any admission of error painful to the point of being unthinkable. Self-justification and denial arise from the dissonance between believing you’re competent, and making a mistake, which clashes with that image. Solution: deny the mistake. Attribute it to an outside element (women won’t play by “the rules”) rather than resort to introspection (maybe I’m wrong about “the rules”?). Therefore we see AFCs tenaciously cling to a moralistic sense of purpose in their methods which is only reinforced by popular culture in our media, our music, eHarmony, our religion, etc. Articles of Power The term Power has a lot of misapplied connotations to it. When we think of Powerful people, we think of influence, wealth, prestige, status and the ability to have others do our bidding - all of these are not Power. As much as we’d like to convince ourselves that women are attracted to this definition of Power, this is false. Because what I’ve described as aspects of Power here are really manifestations of Power. Here’s a cosmic secret revealed for you: Real Power is the degree to which a person has control over their own circumstances. Real Power is the degree to which we actually control the directions of our lives. When we allow our thinking, our personality disorders and our mental schemas, combined with their accompanying behaviors, to determine the course of our decisions, we relinquish real Power. The man who succumbs, by force or by will, to the responsibilities, liabilities and accountabilities that are required of him by society, marriage, commitment, family, fatherhood, career choice, the military, etc. leaves him very little influence over the course of his own life. The painter Paul Gauguin is one of history’s most powerful men. At middle age Paul was a “successful” banker, with a wife and children and by all appearances, a man of great merit and considerable wealth. Then one day Paul decided he’d had enough and wanted to paint. He left his wife, children and his money, and decided he would become a painter. He cast off his former life to live the life he chose, he had the power to assume control of it. Eventually he died in Tahiti, but not after having one of the most interesting of lives and becoming a world renowned painter. You may think, what a horrible man he was to abandon his responsibilities to selfishly pursue his own desires, but the fact remains that he had the Power within himself to do so that most men would shudder to even consider. So entrapped are we in our self-expectation and self-imposed limitations that we fail to see that we have always had the keys to our own prisons - we’re just scared shitless to use them. This Power is the root of that all important term ‘confidence’ we toss out every time we tell a 19 year old chump what women really want so he can get laid. It’s this ability to make our own decisions, right or wrong, and to confidently own them that separate us from “other guys.” It’s this self-guided Power that evokes a seemingly irrational confidence to Spin Plates, to date non-exclusively, to assert ourselves and to be unafraid to make ourselves the prize, and it’s just this Power that women want to be associated with. Lack of this Power is exactly what makes master Pick Up Artists (PUAs) revert to some of the most pathetic AFCs once they become involved in an LTR. They sell women on this idealization and the perception that they possess this Power only to discover the AFC insecurities these behaviors were meant to cover up once they’ve bought the act. This isn’t to devalue PUA skills as effective behavior sets, rather it’s meant to illustrate the behaviors that should be manifest as a result of effecting a real personal change. It should be that adopting a positive-masculine mental schema prompts these PUA skills as a result. Instead we have the cart before the horse in a mad rush to get that all important pussy we’ve been deprived of for so long, by masking our deficit in real Power and understanding with rote memorized PUA techniques hoping that by practicing them they’ll turn into “natural game” and we’ll mature enough to initiate a lasting personal change. We’ll return to this later. The Soul-Mate Myth There is no ONE Chapter I The Cardinal Rule of Relationships You cannot negotiate genuine Desire. This is a very simple principle that most Men and the vast majority of women are willfully ignorant of. One the most common personal problems I’ve been asked advice for in the past 10 years is some variation of “how do I get her back?” Usually this breaks down into men seeking some methodology to return his relationship to an earlier state where a previously passionate woman couldn’t keep her hands off of him. Six months into a comfortable familiarity and the thrill is gone, but in truth it’s the genuine desire that is gone. It’s often at this stage that a man will resort to negotiation. Sometimes this can be as subtle as him progressively and systematically doing things for her in the hopes that she’ll reciprocate with the same sexual / intimate fervor they used to have. Other times a married or long term couple may go to couples counseling to “resolve their sex issues” and negotiate terms for her sexual compliance. He’ll promise to do the dishes and a load of laundry more often in exchange for her feigned sexual interest in him. Yet, no matter what terms are offered, no matter how great an external effort he makes so deserving of reward, the genuine desire is not there for her. In fact, she feels worse for not having the desire after such efforts were made for her compliance. Her desire has become an obligation. Negotiated desire only ever leads to obligated compliance. This is why her post¬ negotiation sexual response is often so lackluster and the source of even further frustration on his part. She may be more sexually available to him, but the half¬ hearted experience is never the same as when they first met when there was no negotiation, just spontaneous desire for each other. From a male perspective, and particularly that of an uninitiated beta male, negotiation of desire seems a deductive, rational solution to the problem. Men tend to innately rely on deductive reasoning; otherwise known as an “if then” logic stream. The code is often something like this: I need sex + women have the sex I want + query women about their conditions for sex + meet prerequisites for sex = the sex I want. Makes sense right? It’s simple deductive pragmatism, but built on a foundation that relies on a woman’s accurate self-evaluations. The genuine desire they used to experience at the outset of their relationship was predicated upon a completely unknown set of variables. Overtly communicating a desire for reciprocal desire creates obligation, and sometimes even ultimatums. Genuine desire is something a person must come to - or be led to - of their own volition. You can force a woman by threat to comply with behaving in a desired manner, but you cannot make her want to behave that way. A prostitute will fuck you for an exchange, it doesn’t mean she wants to. Whether in a monogamous marriage, LTR or a one night stand (ONS), strive for genuine desire in your relationships. Half of the battle is knowing you want to be with a woman who wants to please you, not one who feels obligated to. You will never draw this genuine desire from her by overt means, but you can covertly lead her to this genuine desire. The trick in provoking real desire is in keeping her ignorant of your intent to provoke it. Real desire is created by her thinking it’s something she wants, not something she has to do. The Desire Dynamic A woman’s imagination is the single most useful tool in your Game arsenal. Every technique, every casual response, every gesture, intimation and subcommunication hinges on stimulating a woman’s imagination. Competition anxiety relies on it. Demonstrating Higher Value (DHV) relies on it. Prompting sexual tension relies on it. Call it “Caffeinating the Hamster” if you will, but stimulating a woman’s imaginings is the single most potent talent you can develop in any context of a relationship. This is the single greatest failing of average frustrated chumps; they vomit out everything about themselves, divulging the full truth of themselves to women in the mistaken belief that women desire that truth as a basis for qualifying for their intimacy. Learn this now: Women never want full disclosure. Nothing is more self- satisfying for a woman than to think she’s figured a Man out based solely on her mythical feminine intuition (i.e. imagination). When a man overtly confirms his character, his story, his value, etc. for a woman, the mystery is dispelled and the biochemical rush she enjoyed from her imaginings, her suspicions, her self-confirmations about you are gone. Most guys with a Beta male mindset classically do exactly this on the first date and wonder why they get LJBF’d promptly after it - this is why. Familiarity is anti- seductive. Nothing kills Game, organic passion and libido like comfortable familiarity. Despite their common filibuster tactics, women don’t want to be comfortable with a potential (or proven) sex partner, they need their imaginations stoked to be excited, aroused and anxious to want sex with a potential partner. In an LTR there’s an even more critical need to keep prodding that imagination. I would go so far as to say it’s imperative for a healthy relationship, but then you’ll ask, how do you go about that when your LTR girlfriend or wife already knows your story and the familiarity becomes cemented in? The easy answer is never let it be from the outset - the health of any LTR you might entertain depends and survives on the frame you enter into it with. The foundations of a healthy LTR are laid while you’re single and dating non- exclusively. I’ve yet to meet the guy who’s told me he’s getting more frequent, more intense sex after his LTR / Marriage / Live-in situation was established. The primary reason for this is the relaxation of the competition anxiety that made the urgency of fucking you with lustful abandon in your dating phase an imperative to get you to commit to her frame. That’s the crux of the matter that so many guys fail in, they surrender the frame before they commit to an LTR. They believe, (thanks to their feminine conditioning) that commitment necessitates, and is synonymous with, acquiescing to her frame control. Combine this with anti-seductive familiarity and the growing commonness of your own value because of it, and you can see exactly why her sexual interest wanes. So what do you do to prevent that? First and foremost, understand that whose frame you enter into an LTR sets the foundation of that LTR. If you find yourself buying into an “it’s women’s world and we just live in it” mentality where your default presumption is that commitment means she wins by default, you lose and that’s just how it is, don’t even consider an LTR. She enters your world, not the other way around. Secondly, you need to cultivate an element of unpredictability about yourself prior to, and into, an LTR. Always remember, perfect is boring. Women will cry a river about wanting Mr. Dependable and then go off to fuck Mr. Exciting. In an LTR it’s necessary to be both, but not one at the expense of the other. Too many married men are terrified to rock the excitement boat with their wives or LTRs because their sex lives hang in the balance of placating to her and her already preset frame. She must be reminded daily why you’re fun, unpredictable and exciting, not only to her, but other women as well. This requires covertly, tactfully, demonstrably implying that other women find you desirable. Women crave the chemical rush that comes from suspicion and indignation. If you don’t provide it, they’ll happily get it from tabloids, romance novels, The View, Tyra Banks or otherwise living vicariously through their single girlfriends. By playfully staying her source of that rush you maintain the position of stimulating her imagination. Married men, who were defeated before they committed, don’t think that elements of Game apply to marriage out of fear of upsetting their wives frame, when in fact being cocky & funny, neg hits and many other aspects of Game work wonderfully. Just kicking her in the ass or busting her chops, playfully, is sometimes enough to send the message that you’re fearless of her response. You can break her frame with cockiness and the imaginings that come with it. Breaking from an established, predictable familiarity is often a great way to fire her imagination. Married guys will report how sexual their wives become after they get to the gym and start shaping up after a long layoff (or for the first time). It’s easy to pass this off as looking better makes women more aroused (which is true), but underneath that is the breaking of a pattern. You’re controllable and predictable so long as you’re pudgy and listless - what other woman would want you? But start changing your patterns, get into shape, make more money, get a promotion, improve and demonstrate your higher value in some appreciable way and the imagination and competition anxiety returns. Imagination There are methods and social conventions women have used for centuries to ensure that the best male’s genes are selected and secured with the best male provisioning she’s capable of attracting. Ideally the best Man should exemplify both, but rarely do the two exist in the same male (particularly these days) so in the interest of achieving her biological imperative, and prompted by an innate need for security, the feminine as a whole had to develop social conventions and methodologies (which change as her environment and personal conditions do) to effect this. Not only are men up against a female genetic imperative, but also centuries-old feminine social conventions established and adapted from a time long before human beings could accurately determine genetic origins. I’ve detailed in many of my blog posts that mate selection is a psycho-biological function that millennia of evolution has hardwired into the psyches of both sexes. So internalized and socialized is this process into our collective unconsciousness that we rarely recognize we’re subject to these motivators even when we repeatedly manifest the same behaviors prompted by them (ex. women having a second kid with the Alpha Bad Boy). It’s simple deductive logic to follow that for a species to survive it must provide its offspring with the best possible conditions to ensure its survival - either that or to reproduce in such quantity that it ensures survival. The obvious application of this for women is sharing parental investment with the best possible mate she can attract and who can provide long term security for her and any potential offspring. Thus women are biologically, psychologically and sociologically the filters of their own reproduction, where as men’s reproductive methodology is to scatter as much of his genetic material as humanly possible to the widest pool of sexually available females. He of course has his own criteria for mating selection and determining the best genetic pairing for his reproduction (i.e. “she’s gotta be hot”), but his criteria is certainly less discriminating than that of women (i.e. “no one’s ugly after 2am”). This is evidenced in our own hormonal biology; healthy men possess between 12 andl7 times the amount of testosterone (the primary hormone in sexual arousal) women do and women produce substantially more estrogen (instrumental in sexual caution) and oxytocin (fostering feelings of security and nurturing) than men. That stated, both of these methodologies conflict in practice. For a woman to best ensure the survival of her offspring, a man must necessarily abandon his method of reproduction in favor of her own. This then sets a contradictory imperative for him to pair with a woman who will satisfy his methodology. A male must sacrifice his reproductive schedule to satisfy that of the woman he pairs with. Thus, with so much genetic potential at stake on his part of the risk, he wants not only to ensure that she is the best possible candidate for breeding (and future breeding), but also to know that his progeny will benefit from both parent’s investment. Side note: One interesting outcome of this psycho-biological dynamic is men’s ability to spot their own children in a crowd of other children more quickly and with greater acuity than even their mothers. Studies have shown that men have the ability to more quickly and accurately identify their own children in a room full of kids dressed in the same uniforms than the mothers of the child. Again, this stresses the subconscious importance of this genetic trade off. These are the rudiments of human sexual selection and reproduction. Obviously there are many other social, emotional and psychological intricacies that are associated with these fundamentals, but these are the underlying motivations and considerations that subconsciously influence sexual selection. Social Conventions To counter this subconscious dynamic to their own genetic advantage women initiate social conventions and psychological schemas to better facilitate their own breeding methodologies. This is why women always have the “prerogative to change her mind” and the most fickle of behaviors become socially excusable, while men’s behavior is constrained to a higher standard of responsibility to “do the right thing” which is invariably to the advantage of a woman’s reproductive strategy . This is why guys who are 'Players’, and fathers who abandon mothers to pursue their innate reproduction method are villains, and fathers who selflessly sacrifice themselves financially, emotionally and life decision-wise, even to the benefit of children they didn’t father, are considered social heroes for complying with women’s genetic imperatives. This is also the root motivation for female-specific social dynamics such as “lets just be friends” (LJBF) rejections and women’s propensity for victimhood (as they’ve learned that this engenders 'savior’ mental schemas for men’s breeding schedules - Cap’n Save a Ho) and even marriage itself. Good Dads vs. Good Genes The two greatest difficulties for women to overcome in their own methodology is that they are only at a sexually viable peak for a short window of time (generally their early 20s) and the fact that the qualities that make a good long term partner (the Good Dad) and the qualities that make for good breeding stock (Good Genes) only rarely manifest themselves in the same male. Provisioning and security potential are fantastic motivators for pairing with a Good Dad, but the same characteristics that make him such are generally a disadvantage when compared with the man who better exemplifies genetic, physical attraction and the risk taking qualities that would imbue her child with a better capacity to adapt to it’s environment (i.e. stronger, faster, more attractive than others to ensure the passing of her own genetic material to future generations). This is the Jerk vs. Nice Guy paradox writ large on an evolutionary scale. Men and women innately (though unconsciously) understand this dynamic, so in order for a woman to have the best that the Good Dad has to offer while taking advantage of the best that the Good Genes man has, she must invent and constantly modify social conventions to keep the advantage in her biological favor, and in accordance with her pluralistic sexual strategy. Reproductive Schedules This paradox then necessitates that women (and by default men) must subscribe to short term and long term schedules of mating. Short term schedules facilitate breeding with the Good Genes male, while long term breeding is reserved the Good Dad male. This convention and the psycho-social schemas that accompany it are precisely why women will marry the Nice Guy, stable, loyal, (preferably) doctor and still fuck the pool boy or the cute surfer she met on spring break. In our genetic past, a male with good genes implied an ability to be a good provider, but modern convention has thwarted this, so new social and mental schemas had to be developed for women. Cheating For this dynamic and the practicality of enjoying the best of both genetic worlds, women find it necessary to ‘cheat’. This cheating can be done proactively or reactively. In the reactive model, a woman who has already paired with her long term partner choice, engages in a extramarital or extra-pairing, sexual intercourse with a short term partner (i.e. the cheating wife or girlfriend). That’s not to say this short term opportunity cannot develop into a 2nd, long term mate, but the action of infidelity itself is a method for securing better genetic stock than the committed male provider is capable of supplying. Proactive cheating is the Single Mommy dilemma. This form of ‘cheating’ relies on the woman breeding with a Good Genes male, bearing his children and then abandoning him, or having him abandon her, (again through invented social conventions) in order to find a Good Dad male to provide for her and the children of her Good Genes partner to ensure their security. I want to stress again that (most) women do not have some consciously constructed and recognized master plan to enact this cycle and deliberately trap men into it. Rather, the motivations for this behavior and the accompanying social rationales invented to justify it are an unconscious process. For the most part, women are unaware of this dynamic, but are nonetheless subject to it’s influence. For a female of any species to facilitate a methodology for breeding with the best genetic partner she’s able to attract and to ensure her own and her offspring’s survival with the best provisioning partner is an evolutionary jackpot. Cuckoldry On some level of consciousness, men innately sense something is wrong with this situation, though they may not be able to place why they feel it or misunderstand it in the confusion of women’s justifications for it. Or they become frustrated by the social pressures to 'do the right thing’, are shamed into martyrdom/savior-hood and committed to a feigned responsibility to these conventions. Nevertheless, some see it well enough to steer clear of single mothers, either by prior experience or observing other male cuckolds saddled with the responsibility of raising and providing for - no matter how involved or uninvolved - another man’s successful reproduction efforts with this woman. Men often fall into the role of the proactive or reactive Cuckold. He will never enjoy the same benefits as his mate’s short term partner(s) to the same degree, in the way of sexual desire or immediacy of it, while at the same time enduring the social pressures of having to provide for this Good Genes father’s progeny. It could be argued that he may contribute minimally to their welfare, but on some level, whether emotional, physical, financial or educational he will contribute some effort for another man’s genetic stock in exchange for a mitigated form of sexuality/intimacy from the mother. To some degree, (even if only by his presence) he is sharing the parental investment that should be borne by the short term partner. If nothing else, he contributes the time and effort to her he could be better invested in finding a sexual partner with which he could pursue his own genetic imperative by his own methodology. However, needless to say, there is no shortage of men sexually deprived enough to 'see past’ the long term disadvantages, and not only rewarding, but reinforcing a single mother’s bad decisions (bad from his own interest’s perspective) with regard to her breeding selections and schedules in exchange for short term sexual gratification. Furthermore, by reinforcing her behavior thusly, he reinforces the social convention for both men and women. It’s important to bear in mind that in this age women are ultimately, solely responsible for the men they choose to mate with (baring rape of course) and giving birth to their children. Men do bear responsibility for their actions no doubt, but it is ultimately the decision of the female and her judgment that decides her and her children’s fate Schedules of Mating Rejection is better than Regret. While sifting through some of my past posts on the SoSuave forum it hit me; over 90% of what I advocate there can be reduced to overcoming a fear of rejection. 90% of the dilemmas AFCs find themselves in, and a majority of men’s concerns, with the opposite sex find, their roots in the methods and means they use to reduce their exposure to female rejection. These are buffers meant to reduce the potential for this rejection of intimacy. Men of course aren’t the only ones who use buffers - women have their share as well - but I think it would be much more productive for guys to recognize this propensity in themselves and see the methods they use, and often ego-invest in their personal psychologies, to buffer themselves against rejection. Virtually every common problem guys deal with finds its basis in these buffers: LDRs - Long Distance Relationships. A guy will entertain an LDR because it was based on a previous acceptance of intimacy and being no longer convenient (due to distance) the guy will cling to the “relationship” because it’s a buffer against potential rejection from new women instead of accepting the relationship as being finished and maturely re-entering the dating pool. It’s a perceived “sure thing”, even if only rarely rewarding. Playing Friends - Usually after an LJBF rejection where the perception is the potential love interest “might” later become an intimate with time and qualification. No matter how misguided, the time and effort spent by a guy in proving himself as the would-be “perfect boyfriend” is a buffer against further rejection by new potential females, which is then further compounded by a moralistic sense of duty to be an actual friend to his LJBF girl. In essence, his buffer against further rejection is his misplaced dedication to the LJBF girl. Another variation of this is the Cap’n-Save-A-Ho dynamic. Emails, IMs and Texts -1 should also add lengthy phone conversations to this list as well, but really any technology that seemingly increases communication serves as a buffer (for both genders) the more it limits interpersonal communication. The rationalization is that it keeps him in constant contact with his sex interest (which in and of itself is a mistake), but only serves as a buffer against her rejection. The latent perception being that it’s easier to read a rejection (or hear one) than to potentially be rejected in person. A lot of guys will counter this with how texts and IM’s are just how this generation plies it’s Game. The difference I’d argue is that when digital communication becomes your preferred method of interacting with women, it’s a buffer. Facebook & Online Dating - This one should be fairly obvious for the same reasons as above - Online dating is perhaps the best buffer ever conceived - particularly for less than physically ideal women. In fact it’s so effective that businesses can be built upon the common insecurities and fear of rejection of both sexes. Objectification of Gender - This might be less obvious, but both sexes objectify one another. Naturally when we think of this, the popularized notion is that men objectify women as sex objects, but women have a tendency to objectify men as “success objects” for the same reason. It is easier to accept rejection from an object than it is to take it from a living, breathing, human being. This is why we refer to intergender communication as a “game.” We “score” or we get “shot down” not personally or emotionally rejected; the buffer is in the language and mental approach. Idealization of Gender - This is the myth of the “Quality Woman.” The buffer operates in perceived self-limitations based on a search for an ideal mate. Thus a tendency to fixate on one woman (ONEitis) or one type of woman (a gender Archetype) develops. By limiting to, and/or fixating on one woman (or type) the potential for rejection decreases, while insuring that any real rejection will come only from what will later be deemed non-qualified women. Rejection = 'Low Quality Woman’ and is thus disqualified. This works in a similar fashion to the objectification buffer in that the woman delivering the rejection is reduced to an object. Scarcity Mentality - The “Take What I Can Get and Be Glad I Got It” mentality acts as a buffer in that it works opposite of the Idealization buffer. Deprivation is motivation, and by sticking with the “sure thing” as the “only thing”, the potential for new rejection is then eliminated. Older Women, Younger Women -1 should also include certain body types in this category as well, but the buffer is in certain types of women being less likely to reject a man due to their personal circumstances. The Cougar dynamic debate has been done into irrelevancy now, but the buffer is that older women, acting in accordance with their conditions, will be more inclined to accept the advances of younger men. In the same vein, very young girls will be more apt to accept the advances of older men due to naivete and fat women are easier to become intimate with due to sexual deprivation. In and of themselves these preferences aren’t buffers per se, but an internalized preference for particular women develop by associating that particular type of woman with the minimization for potential rejection. Leagues - This is the opposite of a “high standards” buffer which could be grouped with Scarcity. There is the woman some guys actually fear because she is perceived to be so much more socially valuable than the average guy estimates himself. Think of a hot, statuesque, corporate director who runs marathons, travels a lot, has good friends, dresses well, etc, etc, etc. The average frustrated chump tells himself “wow is she out of my league I would just get shot down because I would need to possess A, B & C to be her social status / physical status equal for her to even be interested”. Ergo, the internalized idea of Leagues is a useful rationalization buffer against rejection. Pornography -1 realize this will draw some fire from the masturbation / no¬ masturbation set, but porn (as men use it) is a buffer against rejection. Porn doesn’t talk back, porn doesn’t need a few drinks to loosen up nor does porn require any social skills to produce rewards. It’s convenient, immediate, sexual release that requires nothing more than a PC and an internet connection (or a magazine if you prefer the analog means). We can argue the obsessive- compulsive aspect of it, or the “my girlfriend and I enjoy porn together” reasoning, but for the single guy the root reasoning is its facility as a buffer. I should also add that it’s this very facility that makes women hate it (when they do). Porn gives a guy his reward for free; a reward that should be her single best agency is rendered valueless when a man can get off to an infinite variety of sexual experience at the click of a mouse. It’s unlimited access to unlimited sexual availability without the stress of learning methods to earn it from women as a reward. These are really just a few notable examples, but once you become aware of how buffers manifest you’ll begin to see how and why they are useful against rejection. Buffers are generally the paths of least rejection that become ego- invested “preferences.” Buffers aren’t so much about those “preference” as they are about the rejection aversion motivations behind them. At this point you might be thinking, “Well, what the hell, I don’t want to feel rejection, why not employ buffers against it?” The main reason for embracing rejection is that rejection is better than regret. Scan back through this short list of buffers; how many of these have become greater, longer term problems for you than a briefly painful rejection would’ve been? Buffers also have a tendency to compound upon themselves in that one tends to dovetail into another, or more, until you no longer realize that they were originally rejection prevention methodologies and gradually become associated with your genuine personality. After a long enough period, buffer become “just how I am.” Lastly, experience teaches harsh, but it teaches best. Rejection, real, raw, in your face rejection stings like a bitch. It must be something so intolerable that human beings will devise countless social and psychological constructs in order to avoid it. However, there is no better teacher than getting burned by the stove. As a Man, you are going to face rejection in far more facets of your life than just dealing with a woman. The buffers you learn in one aspect of your life will be just as encumbering when they’re transferred to another aspect of your life. All of these buffers listed, and many more, become indicators of how you confidently deal with adversity. Some make you look like a Beta male pussy, others are subtle and nagging parts of an internalized personality, but dependence upon them incrementally reveals your real character to a woman. Are you Alpha enough to take a rejection on the chin, smile and confidently come back for more? Or will you run, will you block yourself, will you hide with convenient buffers? Compensation One of the higher orders of physical standards women hold for men is height. There are countless threads in the manosphere community that address this, but I think that for the better part it’s not difficult to observe this in the Teal world’. I should also add that this is one characteristic that is central to the Social Matching Theory in that humans are sensitive to asymmetries and imbalances. Now, before I get told in so many ways that this isn’t always the case or the “not all girls are like that” exceptions to the rule, let me start by saying that this isn’t the point of this section. I don’t want to debate the logistics of why women prefer a taller mate or the tendency for like to attract like in this respect. What I’m on about is really the root of the infamous “short man’s disease.” That’s right, you know who I’m talking about; the ultimate in compensation for inferiority, the dreaded ‘short man’s disease.’ You know the guy. About 5' 6”, pounding out the weight on the bench press. Bad ass attitude, hangs with the bigger guys (which is pretty much all of them) and throws his ego around. What a tool, right? But if you think this is only limited to short men, you’re making a mistake. You see, in so many ways we all compensate for deficiencies. I once read a thread on another “non-community” forum that saw fit to start a topic asking why men lie and it got me to thinking why any of us lie, man or woman. At the time I’d also been fielding a lot of questions regarding issues we kind of take for granted after having discussed them to death in the manosphere; one of those being the nature of personality and one’s ability to change their own or have it changed by circumstance, or often both. I think it’s a tragic miscalculation on our part to think of personality as static, unchangeable or to question the ingenuousness of that change, but more tragic is the doubting of ourselves for that change. One simple truism that a lot of people love to use as their convenient escape clause is the JBY (just be yourself) notion. This of course is just what ones says as advice when they really don’t know what else to say. Given that though, what is it that makes a personality shift ‘genuine’? Any number of us probably know an individual who began acting differently at some point in their life. This can be the result of some kind of tragedy or trauma (think PTSD) or it can be that the individual felt a need to change their fundamental way of thinking and made the change of their own accord. Usually in these cases we think of them as posers or try-hards, trying to be something they’re not. They reflect this change in their appearance, their regular practices, their friends or the people they associate with, attitudes, behaviors etc. And this is what’s jarring for people who knew their prior personality. What makes us doubt the sincerity of a personal change is what’s at issue. If their change is something we agree with or generally think of as positive, we are less inclined to doubt the ingenuousness of this change. But when their change conflicts with our own interests, when it dramatically clashes with what we’ve come to expect of that individual, this is where we doubt their sincerity. We say “dude, stop trying to be something you’re not”, we tear it down, we fall back on JBY platitudes because it clashes with our interpretations. And in this doubt, we fish for reasons as to why a person would want that change; essentially, what are they compensating for? It may be funny to presume someone driving a monster truck down the highway is making up for a small penis, but the root of that ‘compensating’ is what makes us feel uncomfortable in our own internal compensating. It’s a difficult enough task for an individual to critically assess their own personality, and even more so to effect a change in it, but the final insult is to have other’s doubt the veracity of it. What others fail to see is that at some point in the development of their own personalities, they themselves had to compensate for deficiencies, discontentments and prompts to grow and mature. This is a gigantic hurdle for most average men wanting to transition to being something more. I like the term positive masculinity, but the crux of all that is the ingenuousness of the actual change. Why are you changing? There is a saying that average frustrated chumps (AFCs) are like a bunch of crabs in a barrel. As soon as one is about to climb out there are always half a dozen ready to pull him back in again. Add to this a self-doubt from societal conditionings that tell him to stay the same, not to aspire to more, he’s doing it right, and it’s amazing that any AFC progresses beyond what he was. This has been termed the ‘Societal Cockblock’; they tell him he’s compensating, and in a way they’re right, but for the wrong reason. PUA skills, psychology, Positive Masculinity are all compensations for deficiencies. They go beyond behavior modification - that’s the easy answer. PUAs teach a set of behaviors and scripts to be aped in order to mask a deficit. These are easy pickings for the JBY apologists because they are actions that generally don’t match a person’s prior personality. They’re not “really” like that, so they’re posers, or worse, they’ve been duped by guys hawking the PUA brand of self-help tools. What they don’t see is the genuine desire to change and the reasons for it. When we compensate, we improvise, we fake it till we make it; but who determines when we’ve stopped faking it? You do. I read all kinds of articles doubting the realized capacity a person has to adopt ‘natural Game’ into their personality. It’s an internalization process for sure, but there has to come a point of transition where a Man’s default response is his Game response. That’s who he is now. Buffers ALPHA What you’re about to read here is not going to make me any new friends. I know because any discussion of what constitutes Alpha Male characteristics in a Man always becomes clouded by the self-perceptions of how well we think we align with them. The ‘community’, the ‘manosphere’, the new understanding of gender relations that’s picked up momentum for the last 12 years has always generated it’s own terminologies for more abstract concepts. The danger in this is that these terms lack real, universal definition. For purposes of illustrating a concept these terms are usually serviceable - we have a general understanding of what makes for a ‘Beta’ or a Herb, or a man who falls into a sublimated ‘provider’ mentality. Even ‘Alpha’ in a specific context is useful as an illustrative tool, when the subject isn’t directly about ‘Alpha-ness’. It’s when we try to universally define what constitutes the qualities and attributes of an Alpha male that the sparks start to fly. So before you continue on reading further, think about what you believe makes a man Alpha. Got it in your head now? Good, now put all of that aside, purge that from your head, and read the next few paragraphs from the perspective that you don’t know anything about Alpha. The Alpha Buddha I was first introduced to Corey Worthington, the Alpha Buddha, courtesy of Roissy and his post “Umm, sorry?” You can go ahead and look this up and read this from the Chateau’s perspective, and I think the analysis is pretty good, but it might be easier for readers to simply search for “Corey Worthington” on youtube. Corey Worthington was a teenage kid from Melbourne, Australia who made internet infamy by hosting a raucous house party, unbeknown to his parents, resulting in $20,000 of property damage. He was later interviewed by an attractive local news anchor who made efforts to shame him into self-realizations and apologies. It’s probably better to simply watch the video (linked on my blog) to get an idea of Corey’s Alpha cred. I call Corey the Alpha Buddha not in the hopes that men will aspire to his almost Zen-like ‘being’ in Alpha, but rather to provide an example of Alpha in it’s most pure form. He literally is Alpha, unclouded by pretense, afterthought, or conscious awareness of any influence that could have a hope of prompting introspection about his state. Corey Worthington is a piss poor example of a human being, but he’s a textbook example of Alpha. I could use a lot of adjectives to describe this kid, but “beta” wouldn’t be one of them. What’s funny, and a bit ironic, is this kid has probably never come across Mystery Method or “the PUA community” or even heard of ‘peacocking’ and he gets naturally what millions of guys pay small fortunes at PUA seminars to acquire over the course of a lifetime. He’s a selfish little prick, but what makes him insulting to ‘normal’ men is his having the natural, internalized Alpha bravado that so many AFCs wish they had. If you could bottle and sell this Alpha essence, you’d be rich beyond imagine. Right about now all of those self-affirming preconceptions you had about Alpha- ness (that I told you to stow away before reading this) are probably yelling to be let out of the mental box you put them in. “,..but, but Rollo, how can you possibly think this arrogant douchebag kid could ever be an example of anything remotely Alpha?! ” You’ll be pleased to know I fully empathize your outrage. You work hard to be a “better man”, you put in the self analysis, you paid your dues coming to terms with unplugging and reinventing yourself. You’re a success, Corey is fuckup. Corey’s not a better Man than you are, however, he understands Alpha better than you do. Alpha is mindset, not a demographic. Alpha is as Alpha does, it isn’t what we say it is. There are noble Alphas and there are scoundrel Alphas, the difference is all in how they apply themselves. There’s a tendency to approach every “Alpha” argument from what a guy thinks is righteousness; ergo, his personal definition of Alpha is what appeals best to his sense of virtue. He earned his Alpha cred, played by the rules, and by God people (women) should respect that. However, the sad truth is that prisons are full of Alpha males who simply channeled their drive toward destructive and anti-social endeavors. There are plenty of examples of indifferent Asshole Alphas who you wouldn’t say are upstanding moral leaders at all, yet women will literally kill each other (or themselves) in order to bang them because they exude a natural Alpha-ness. Just as Corey does here. There are Alpha drug dealing gang leaders, and there are Alpha husbands, fathers and leaders of industry. It’s all in the application. Genghis Khan was Alpha as fuck, and a leader-of-men, but probably would be on most people’s douchebag list for that era. Here’s an illustration: Guy’s like Corey infuriate men who have invested their self-worth in the accomplishments of what they think ought to be universally appreciated and rewarded. So when they’re confronted with a natural Alpha being undeservedly rewarded for brazenly acting out of accord with what they think the rules ought to be, they seethe with resentment. The natural response in the face of such an inconsistency is to redefine the term ‘Alpha’ to cater to themselves and their accomplishments as “real men” and exclude the perpetrator. The conflict then comes from seeing his new definition of Alpha not being rewarded or even appreciated as well as a natural Alpha attitude and the cycle continues. Your respect (or anyone else’s) for an Alpha has nothing to do with whether or not he possess an Alpha mindset. Three failed marriages and 100+ lays has nothing to do with a man having or not having an Alpha mindset. There are many well respected betas who Ve never had a passing thought of infidelity, or may have 300 lays either with prostitutes or because they possess fame or stunning good looks and women come to him by matter of course. The take home message here is that you are not Alpha because of your achievements, you have your achievements because you are Alpha. You possess a mindset you either had to develop or it came naturally to you. I constantly field questions from young men asking me whether some action or behavior they displayed to a woman was Alpha, or Alpha enough. The real answer is that Alpha behaviors are manifestations of an Alpha mindset. And just like Corey the Alpha Buddha, the introspect required to wonder if something was or wasn’t Alpha wouldn’t ever be a consideration enough to ask. You almost need to have a childlike understanding to really appreciate what Alpha really is. Kids get Alpha. Even the picked on, introverted, beta-to-be kid has a better understanding of Alpha than most adult men do because he lacks the abstract thinking required to rationalize Alpha for himself. Most men, by our socialization, and to varying degrees, lose this in-born Alpha mindset over time. The naturals, the Corey’s of the world, have a better grasp on it’s usefulness and re-purpose it; either to their adulthood advantage or their detriment. Defining Alpha I understand why guys, both of the red and blue pill variety have a problem with using the terms Alpha and/or Beta; depending on the perspective, terms that are definitive about what someone has an investment in make us uncomfortable. It’s much more comfortable to put those issues into more subjective understandings because when we’re objective about them we can’t help the wondering about, or we doubt, our own status within that definition. Objective terms are very close to absolutes depending upon who’s doing the defining. From a generalized perspective, I feel that the terms Alpha and Beta are good reference points in assessing the characteristics that women find arousing (and attractive) in men for both short and long term mating strategies. However, I think that beyond these convenient terms, men need to be more realistic about how they apply to their own self-impressions in contrast with how women are interpreting the Alpha and Beta cues that they exhibit. For the record, at points in my life I’ve personally been the worst, bottom scraping Beta, the douchebag Alpha rock star, and the strong (but lesser) Alpha father and husband. So it’s with this in mind that I think guys shouldn’t believe that their 'stars are set’ and they’ll never live up to the manosphere standard of Alpha. Living Up The reason that so many guys get so bent about what defines an Alpha is usually because they don’t fit that general definition very well. So it’s a logical ego defense to make necessity a virtue and redefine it to better suit their own conditions. It’s exactly the same dynamic as the debate over Looks vs. Game. Game takes priority for those without Looks and vice versa. A personal definition of “what’s Alpha?” becomes whatever plays to an individual guy’s strengths, and women who can’t appreciate them (i.e. all of them) are relegated to being less-than quality women. Sour grapes are sour, but deductively it makes sense; we want to be the embodiment of what we ‘know’ is attractive to women and others. The worst beta schlub you know thinks he’s Alpha, because every woman he’s ever known has defined and affirmed for him that being Beta is what women want. Ethics of Alpha The problem then is looking at the definition objectively. In an objective light it’s difficult to look at ourselves as not measuring up to an Alpha ideal. So it becomes the first recourse to cast suspicion on the whole idea of being Alpha at all. It’s a pissing contest between immature men then. Or is it? There is a LOT of observable, provable evidence that many so-called Alpha traits do in fact elicit very predictable, desired, favorable behaviors (usually breeding cues) in women. From an evolutionary psychology perspective Alpha is just as unprincipled, just as efficiently ruthless and uncaring as it’s female counterpart - feminine Hypergamy. So then the definition moves into an ambiguous moral ground; is it ethical to be / act Alpha? To be Alpha implies that you necessarily rise above a certain degree of common mediocrity depending upon the context - whether you do so like a guy from hotchickswithdouchebags.com or like a perfect “honorable” gentlemen is irrelevant, you still position yourself above “other guys”. To some extent this is selfishness or implies a self-importance that questions moral tenets. At this point I should also add here that women never doubt themselves on moral grounds for outshining their own competition in the sexual market place - they just do so covertly and with a polite smile, unburdened by ethical doubts. Hypergamy is its own excuse. Alpha Selectivity And that brings us to the subjectively deductive end of defining Alpha. Every sexual competitor seeks to disqualify their rivals from breeding opportunities. Most animals fight for territory or harem rights. Humans generally (though certainly not exclusively) do the same combat in the psychological. We seek to disqualify sexual competitors by calling into doubt the sexual credibility of a rival. “Yeah, he’s really good looking, but that means he’s probably gay” from a man, or “You think that blonde with the big boobs is hot? Girls who dress like that are usually sluts” from a woman are both psychological, sexually disqualifying forms of combat. This also applies to the observably, provably, sexually successful male capable of OVERTLY flaunting his high sexual value with two (or more) concurrent women. He must be of low moral character to so flagrantly manipulate his multiple girlfriends, right? His observable success, as a sexual competitor, conflicts with what a Beta believes should constitute a Beta-defined definition of Alpha-ness as it characterizes him personally. Thus, the polygamist either must be disqualified as a sexual competitor based on subjective (moral) grounds, or a guy is forced to alter his own definition of Alphaness and therefore his own self-estimate. Every guy has a Game. Everyone thinks they are Alpha in their own way. Even the worst doormat Nice Guy, hammered flat by women for a lifetime, thinks his supplications or Cap’n Save-a-Ho mindset is the best way to win a woman’s intimacy. He’s invested in thinking he’s unique in his understanding of how best to arrive at sex with a woman. Likewise, Alpha-ness is a moving target that’s conveniently applied or disparaged based on personal circumstances. Personally I believe Alpha-ness can, and does, have a concrete, objective definition. The problem arises when anyone asserts that they can definitively outline Alpha traits when it conflicts with the subjectiveness and ego- investments of those who define it personally for themselves. So we get a wide variety of what makes a man Alpha - he’s the guy of high moral character, princely ambition and integrity, as well as the self-important cad banging his wife and “their” girlfriend. They are both Alpha. Thus I would propose that while certainly contextual, objective Alpha-ness is NOT exclusive to social status or personal integrity, but rather an attitude of expressly manifested traits. These can be innate or learned, but the definition is not dependent on moral grounds (or a lack of). A scoundrel and a champion can be equally Alpha or Beta in their own psyche. The Origin of Alpha “Safe sex, safe clothing, safe hairspray, safe ozone layer,...too late! Everything that’s been achieved in the history of mankind has been achieved by not being safe. ” - Lemmy Kilmister, Motorhead A Rational Male reader Jeremiah presented me with a well worn question: “ My question is, Tomassi, do you think alpha traits are usually learned or genetically inherited? What percentage of modern men “get it” and of the men who “get it” how many of them have always “gotten it” and how many of them learned to adapt? It is hard to believe there are still naturals out there when feminism is being rammed up the anus of every man before he sprouts his first tooth. ” I don’t think distilling the essence of Alpha ‘presence’ in a Man is as subjective as most people feel compelled to qualify, enumerate or otherwise yammer on about in as personally identifying a manner as they can muster. In my estimation Alpha is a state of mind, not a demographic. The manosphere will endlessly debate the qualifications of what is Alpha, but I think for the most part, the influence of an Alpha mindset (whatever the qualifiers) is more or less agreed upon. However, with this in mind, I think it’s a perfectly valid question to ask whether an Alpha is born that way or molded into his Alpha mindset. This is actually the classic debate psychology has always put to its various schools of thought; Nature vs. Nurture - is a dynamic influenced by inherent, biological, environmental prompts or is that dynamic a learned, socialized and acculturated phenomenon? And of course the equally classic conflict comes from people attempting to define various dynamics in terms of absolutes, when to greater or lesser degrees a dynamic is influenced by both nature and nurturing elements. While the Tomassi school of psychology is firmly planted in the nuts and bolts of behaviorism, it’s also important to take into account that external influences can and too often do modify innate, inborn predilections - even inborn self- preservation instincts. So with this in mind, my perspective on the origin of Alpha is that biology determines the starting point for Alpha, what happens to it from there is modified by a man’s environmental conditions. Alpha ‘energy’, for lack of a better term, is to varying degrees, part of a male human’s biologically determined “starting package”; from there, through social feedback, it’s either refined and developed by his upbringing, acculturation and social affirming, or it’s repressed, constrained and mitigated by his social environment. When I was in art school one of my most influential teachers told me, “There are two types of artists; those who were born with a natural, innate gift for art, and those who lack that gift, but possess such a passion for art that it drives them to be good at it. The true masters are the artists that combine both natural talent and the drive that comes from a passion for it.” I’ve always referred back to this model in my creative efforts, but I believe this model can be extended beyond just the artistic sense. The Learned Alpha Manosphere godfather, RooshV has an excellent breakdown of The Myth of the Natural that perfectly encapsulates the learning theory of Alpha. The premise behind this is that Alpha behavior, and consequently facility with women, comes as a set of modeled behaviors based upon trial and error: If I were forced to agree on what a natural is, it would be a man who’s a prodigy of sex—someone who gets laid way above other men with no formal instruction in game. This means he was not exposed to any 12 DVD “Cocky Humor” sets or seminars in a hotel room with three dozen other guys. You look at him and think, “Wow, he gets laid automatically. He was born to get laid!” But he wasn’t. Just because he didn’t read a book doesn’t mean he didn’t learn through trial and error like you did, practicing his game on a large number of women. It doesn’t mean that he wasn’t conscious and deliberate with his behavior, incrementally improving his moves and tactics over a long period of time. He has experimented like you have experimented, and he has also connected his attempts with results to figure out what works and what doesn’t. He may not be obsessive about it enough to log his data into a spreadsheet, but he’s mindful and aware of what he’s doing. He understands the mechanism behind charm and can often turn it on or off depending on what he wants. He has learned the type of humor and story-telling that gets a positive response in women. The last thing you can say about him was that he was born into the world with the “automatic” ability to fuck a lot of girls. Essentially what Roosh explores here is a very basic behavioral psychology premise - macro-psychological dynamics to micro-psychological schema are developed, deliberately or unconsciously, through a process of deductive trial and error management. Whether you’re aware of it or not, everyone has Game to varying degrees. Every man you know has some concept of behaviors and mental attitudes he believes will best help him arrive at sexual intimacy with a woman. Even the worst Blue Pill Beta believes he has some idea of how best to get with a girl. All of this proto-Game has been in a constant state of trial and error management since you were five years old and had your first interaction with the opposite sex on the kindergarten playground, right up to the point when you started reading in the manosphere and discovered the Red Pill. And you will continue to modify your old behavior and mental sets based upon the new information available to you after you adopt formalized Game. In fact, in its rawest sense, the PUA community, the manosphere and all its permutations are really a meta-effort in behavioral modification by way of experimentation and information feedback. For some this learning process comes easier than it does for others. Again Roosh: The reason he blows you away isn’t because of his genetics, but because of how early he started. A unique set of circumstances threw him into the sex game years before you, during a time he was lucky enough to be surrounded by giggly schoolgirls. By the time you did your first approach, he had already practiced his game on hundreds of women. While I do agree with this from a behavioral standpoint, this is where I have to depart from accepting Roosh’s theory entirely. There are far too many biological and environmental determinants involved in developing an Alpha male to ascribe an Alpha status based solely on learned behavior. The simple, observable, fact is that a genetically better looking, more physically arousing male is going to statistically have more opportunities to experiment and develop his Alpha Game prowess than a less physically impressive male. In theory, a man with a more advantageous physical presence will “start earlier” in his process of deductively evaluating behaviors since his efforts will be more frequently encouraged by the women who are naturally attracted to his physique. Unfortunately all of that assumes developing a behavioral set in a vacuum. There’s literally a world of environmental conditions and variables that would predispose a man towards behavioral development of Alpha status or (more often) limit him from it. Roosh touches on this: At this point you may be thinking, “Well, there have to be guys who were born with it. Look at Mozart! ” Nobody questions that Mozart’s achievements were extraordinary compared with those of his contemporaries. What’s often forgotten, however, is that his development was equally exceptional for his time. His musical tutelage started before he was four years old, and his father, also a skilled composer, was a famous music teacher and had written one of the first books on violin instruction. Like other world-class performers, Mozart was not born an expert — he became one. I don’t think this example excludes for a natural, innate talent, but it does help to illustrate the environment’s role in molding a person by limiting or encouraging
 
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his behavioral development and ultimately his personality. In the Mozart example we see the success story (the story of a master artist) of a natural talent encouraged and developed to potential by favorable external conditions. Mozart was the perfect storm of natural talent and an ideal environment for nurturing it, thus giving him the advantage of an “early start” in his behavioral trial and error efforts. My reader Jeremiah laments, “It is hard to believe there are still naturals out there when feminism is being rammed up the anus of every man before he sprouts his first tooth ” and of course this is a negative example of an environment (deliberately) averse to nurturing an Alpha mindset. There’s no shortage of examples, but feminization from a behavioral psychology perspective, is nothing less than a socialized effort in deliberate behavioral modification of men’s natural drives and predilections to better fit the feminine imperative. As men socialized in an all-encompassing, pervasive, fem-centric reality, we tend to see “Natural Alphas” as outliers because somehow, through some combination of innate gift and external development, these Men have developed themselves into an Alpha state despite the meta-environment we find ourselves in. The Natural Alpha A lot of people call my credibility into question when they read my holding Corey Worthington up as an example of an apex Alpha. Guys who believe that Alpha should necessarily mean “virtuous leaders of men” are understandably insulted by Corey’s indifferent Alpha swagger. The ‘Qualities of Alpha’ debates aren’t going away, but I think there’s an overall consensus among the manosphere and legitimate psychologists alike that there is an innate (probably testosterone fueled) Alpha drive that manifests itself in human males. No one has to teach the average, healthy, five-year-old boy how to be Alpha - he gets it on his own. In various contexts that Til’ Alpha’ wants to explore his surroundings, take risks, see what works and see what doesn’t, even when the consequences may be endangering himself or destroying the thing he took apart to see how it worked. It may manifest as a boy attempting to ride wheelies on his bike or a kid tinkering with his dad’s computer, but that unrefined, irrationally confident, Alpha swagger, is by order of degrees, an innate element unique to the male condition. When a boy is unencumbered with an adult capacity for abstract thinking (ages 3-21 progressively) he is as Alpha as he will ever be. He is unapologetically Alpha and it takes a lifetime, and an entire world of feminized social conditioning to repress and/or crush that Alpha vigor and turn him into the pliable Beta the feminine imperative needs to insure its social primacy. This is precisely why the raw, irresponsible, irrepressible, obliviously un-self-aware Alpha energy of the Alpha Buddha/Corey Worthingtons of the world offend our sensibilities so well. All of the Game theory, PUA techniques, even feminine-serving appeals to Man- Up! or any other effort designed to help men better mimic or internalize an Alpha behavioral or mind set, all of those efforts’ latent purpose is to return a man back to that primal Alpha energy the five-year-old you had in spades. The Contextual Alpha In March of 2012, James Hooker, a 41-year-old married father left his wife and kids for his 18-year-old-student. He resigned from his job at Enochs High School in Modesto, California over the scandal that shook up a community and put one mom on a crusade to save her daughter from a man she called a “master manipulator.” The girl, Jordan met her teacher as a freshman, but both maintain nothing physical happened until she turned 18. Hooker claimed he saw Powers as “just a student” and had no romantic feelings toward her at first, but when her 18th birthday came around, things changed. They changed so much, in fact, that Hooker, left his wife and three kids (one of them a 17-year-old Enochs high school student as well) so that he could move in with Jordan. Well, as is manosphere godfather Roissy’s (now Heartiste) wont to do, the Chateau (Roissy’s blog) boldly nominated James Hooker as Alpha of the Month. As expected the post’s comments got heated, but that’s not the end of it. The SoSuave forum discussion thread created by the (sometimes overly) passionate members in response really gets down to the meat of the matter: How “Alpha” will Mr Hooker be seen by the general public? How “Alpha” does the 18year old’s friends think he is? (If she has or had any at this point.) What about new employment for the infamous Mr. Hooker? Will he take his ‘soulmate’ to work functions he may be required to attend? There are probably loads of weird situations they will find themselves in. Or will they become a pair of social recluses? Think about it. That dude isn’t Alpha he’s more of the Little Rascal’s Alphalpha. Pathetic nerd. Before I launch into my take on this situation I feel it’s incumbent upon me to throw out this disclaimer; I do not condone Hooker’s actions. At my time of writing this I have a daughter who will turn 15 in April and if there is any better indictment of the delusions of empowered single mothers and the inherent necessity of a strong, positive, masculine influence in a child’s upbringing, of either sex, I can’t think of it. Kids need the resolute, protective Fathers that far too many 'strong, independent women®’ emphatically resist, run off, or covertly despise - only to further shame them for a lack of presence when an incident such as this occurs. That said, I agree with the Chateau’s assessment - Hooker is an Alpha, but only contextually so. From Roissy seminal 16 Commandments of Poon (emphasis mine): XII. Maximize your strengths, minimize your weaknesses In the betterment of ourselves as men we attract women into our orbit. To accomplish this gravitational pull as painlessly and efficiently as possible, you must identify your natural talents and shortcomings and parcel your efforts accordingly. If you are a gifted jokester, don’t waste time and energy trying to raise your status in philosophical debate. If you write well but dance poorly, don’t kill yourself trying to expand your manly influence on the dance floor. Your goal should be to attract women effortlessly, so play to your strengths no matter what they are; there is a groupie for every male endeavor. Except World of Warcraft. As a teacher, James Hooker is afforded a default status authority. To students in a classroom, being the teacher confers a contextual presumption of mastery and thus a de facto social proof is conferred upon that person. In that theater, in that environment, the teacher is Alpha. A uniformed police officer is perceived as Alpha in his given role, despite his personally being a chump when off duty. As Roissy illustrates, Hooker was playing to his strengths. In virtually any other social setting he’d be perceived as a beta. The SoSuave forum and damn near every other casual observer peg this guy for the Beta-Symp he undoubtedly is, but in that classroom, to a 14 year old girl who gradually matures into an 18 year old woman, Hooker is Alpha, and probably the only Alpha she’d ever experienced. How “Alpha” will Mr Hooker be seen by the general public? In all likelihood, he’ll be more publicly reviled than legitimate sexual predators when the genders are reversed. The great unwashed masses in the pop culture narrative don’t recognize the legitimacy of Alpha influence as it is. To them it’s psychological manipulation, and to a calculated extent it really is, but the real question that nags them is why that manipulation is effective. They’ll blame it on the naivete of the girl, and her seeking a father figure, as well as the lasciviousness of Hooker, but what’s really uncomfortable is why the Alpha influence works. What about new employment for the infamous Mr Hooker? Will he take his ‘soulmate’ to work functions he may be required to attend? It’s precisely because of Hooker’s subscription to the soul-mate myth that he reeks of Beta. I have no doubt that he fluidly convinced himself of his noble intent narrative, casting himself as the savior for his adoring princess. White Knights are very prone to using their delusions of chivalry to rationalize good intent into the same behaviors they’d condemn in Players, PUAs or typical 'other guys’ in general. To venture a guess I’d expect that Hooker buys his own bullshit, and because of this he hasn’t given an afterthought to how it will affect his career, his relationship with his family, his kids or any future social circle. As an extension of this, along with his teaching job, Hooker has lost his contextual Alpha cred. As his young chippy matures more, she’ll begin to see that contextual Alpha status erode with every progressive shit test he fails - and removed from the environment that made him Alpha, fail he will. Alpha is as Alpha does In context, James Hooker parlayed enough Alpha mojo to land a solitary 18 year old girl; one he had to invest in for at least 4 consecutive years to consolidate on. In fact, I sincerely doubt he had any idea that he was situationally an Alpha to the point that he thought he could intentionally manipulate this girl with it. There is a vast difference between the contextual Alphaness of Hooker and the subconscious Zen mastery of it in Corey Worthington - the Alpha Buddha. Both of these guys are an affront to the sensibilities of the “Alpha = Leader-of-Men” faction of Alpha definers, but both tap into a common root of Alpha energy that women naturally respond to. It’s discomforting to think that the brave Marine fighting in Mogadishu, commanding the noble respect from his country and peers taps into the same Alpha energy that makes a guy like James Hooke
 
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thecel

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r attractive to women. Same Alpha, different context. Hypergamy is a cruel mistress. Jerry Seinfeld dated and married his wife when she was 18. And while it caused a brief stir in the press, Jerry’s wider Alpha appeal pushed this story out of the headlines. Elvis Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis, both were banging and/or marrying underage girls, but were given an Alpha pass then and now. As I stated, I’m not condoning it, in fact I find it deplorable, but I do understand why it occurs. Plate Theory Spin more plates. This is the main premise behind Plate Theory. Imagine for a moment a plate spinner. They’re kind of like jugglers, but require a real finesse and dexterity to maintain a spinning plate atop a long, thin stick. Just like the plate spinner, a Man needs to have a lot of simultaneous prospects spinning together. Think of each plate as a separate woman you are pursuing. Some fall off and break, others you may wish to stop spinning altogether and some may not spin as fast as you’d like, but the essence of plate theory is that a man is as confident and valuable as his options. This is the essence of the abundance mindset - confidence is derived from options. This principle is the key to solving so many of the problems that dog the heels of Beta AFCs and recovering AFCs. In fact I would say that this ideology should be the cornerstone to success for a man in many facets of life, not simply attracting and keeping women. A man with options has power, and from these options and this sense of power, a natural sense of confidence will manifest itself. A man without options becomes necessitous and this leads to a lack of confidence and a scarcity mentality. Necessitous men are never free. As we progress through this section, keep in mind the Cardinal Rule of Relationships: The Cardinal Rule of Relationships In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least. When a man spins more plates, when he has irons in the fire, when he is pursuing multiple women simultaneously, when he has options equally worth exploring, a man will have a natural, subconscious (but not exclusively) understanding that if one prospect does not expand, others very well may. This understanding has manifestations in a man’s behavior that women key on covertly. There are mannerisms and attitudes that a man with options will subconsciously convey to prospective women that they interpret, and give this man a value as a commodity to be competed for with other females. On my blog and in the PUA community, men are taught to emulate this behavior since it is a key element in attraction and interest. Being Cocky & Funny is one such technique that trains a confidence behavior that (more often than not) essentially masks a deficit of options. In other words, C&F is a natural behavior for men with options that must be compensated for by those who don’t. This is why the ‘natural’ Alpha male seems to exude C&F effortlessly while those without the benefit of more plates spinning (or the confidence in the ability of spinning more) struggle with simple things like eye contact or initiating approaches. This is also a fundamental principle in the “I don’t give a fuck” mentality that pervades community technique - it’s much easier to actually not “give a fuck” if you have other prospects going simultaneously. Shotgun Logic One very important benefit that Plate Theory provides for a man is that it greatly curbs the propensity for ONEitis both in and out of an LTR. Outside of an LTR, most guys subscribe to what I call the Sniper mentality. This is the AFC that applies all of his time, effort and resources to patiently waiting out his target, waiting for that perfect opportunity to summon enough courage in the most precise of conditions to take his one shot at the girl, who by then is the focus of his ONEitis. This process can take anywhere from a few weeks to a few years in extreme cases, but all the while he voluntarily sacrifices his most valuable of resource - potential opportunity. The man who subscribes to Plate Theory can more easily avoid this situation as he goes hunting for women with a Shotgun; scattering as much influence across the broadest area possible. While the AFC fishes with a single line and a single hook, the Plate Theorist fishes with a trolling net, selecting the fish worth keeping and tossing back those who aren’t. Inside an LTR, Plate Theory becomes more specified. The AFC placates and identifies with his partner because the balance has shifted to her advantage since he reinforces her understanding that she is his only source of intimacy. I can’t think of a better recipe for ONEitis since he become progressively more dependent on her as his only source of intimacy. The man who maintains, at the very least, the covert perception of options, either professionally or on an intersexual level (i.e. social proof that other women will compete for him) maintains this power balance. Most successful men have an innate understanding of this and this explains their popular reservations for committing to marriage, In an LTR (long term relationship), Plate Theory becomes a subtle dance of perception and recognizing how your partner interprets understanding a particular man’s options, but regardless, it reduces a guy’s tendency to regress into ONEitis in an LTR from his own self-perception and the confidence it inspires. Natural Selection Spinning more plates allows you more opportunity to select from the largest pool of prospective choices and date them or drop them as you see fit. This has two benefits. First, it serves as valuable, though non-committed, experience for learning what a man requires for his own personal satisfaction. Experience teaches harsh, but it teaches best and the breadth of experience serves a man well. Who’s insight is more beneficial, the man who’s sailed the world over or the man who’s never ventured beyond a lake? Secondly, opportunity and options make a man the prize. Rock stars, professional athletes and movie stars aren’t irresistible to women because of their celebrity, but because they blatantly, and with the highest form of social proof, prove they have options that other women will jealously compete for as well as the confidence that this unconscious knowledge naturally manifests itself in them. What Plate Theory is not Critics of Plate Theory will often take a binary stance in their arguments with this idea stating that “they could never be with more than one woman at a time out of respect for her ” or “so I should just lie to her and see other girls on the side?” to which I’d argue that these are feminized social conventions that attempt to thwart a man’s options in order to establish and / or maintain women as the prime selectors in intersexual relations. If it can be conditioned into a boy / man to Teel bad’ about seeing more than one woman at a time, or non-exclusivity in his relations with women, it only better serves the female-as-chooser dynamic. To be sure, women are naturally the filters for their own intimacies, but it is essentially men who do the sexual selection. The common trope that women do the sexual selecting is false - it’s just that men’s side of the sexual selection equation is a threat to feminine primacy in sexual selection. The latent purpose of social conventions that sublimate men’s sexual choosing are designed to put selection of intimacy on a conditional basis that favors women, and as long as men will internalize this women will have a preconstructed social high-ground. The way to circumvent this dynamic is brutal honesty and a commitment to truthful, non-exclusivity with the plates you’re spinning. If you keep your options above board and are honest with any one girl and yourself about your choice to be non-exclusive, you not only remove the teeth from this convention, but you also reinforce yourself as a man with options (or at least perceived options). Further, critics will offer “well gee, if I did that with any woman she’d push off and dump me” to which I’ll refute - not if you establish this honestly from the outset. Most guys who’ve swallowed the 'female power’ convention are too afraid or to preconditioned to even consider this as an option for seeing women. Letting a woman know, or covertly perceive, that you wont be exclusive to her pushes your commodity level up and implies options and potential success she’ll compete with other women to be associated with. That said, Plate Theory is also, most definitely not, a license to be indiscriminate with women. Just because you can spin a plate doesn’t necessarily mean you should spin that plate. Some aren’t worth spinning and a man with options should have no reservation about letting one go for a better one or two. In fact a man ought to be more discriminating in this regard since it affords him the best available from the largest selection. Plate Theory I Abundance and Scarcity Women would rather share a high value Man than be saddled with a faithful loser. The following is a quote from a Rational Male reader: “I just started applying Plate Theory, and I have to say with all honesty that this is probably the best thing I’ve ever done in my entire life. The feeling of having options is addictive; the whole idea that you don’t come from a necessitous emotional state is genius, and in fact the more options you have, the more attractive you become to women (through the unconscious changes in your behavior), the more women become attracted to you, and the more options you have. Once you get it started, it’s hard to stop it. Recently I’ve been Spinning Plates with some success, but there comes a point when I risk one girl finding out about another. How do I handle this without the risk of losing one of my plates?
 
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thecel

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Should I even bother with the effort of spinning plates that aren’t as high a value as others?” Real options are the cornerstone of confidence, so try not to think of it in terms of risk - as in you’re risking the loss of “a great girl”. Most guys get to a point where Game and plate spinning give them their first taste of real options to select from or fall back on when another doesn’t pan out. The problem arises when they spin enough plates successfully to the point where they think they’ve maxed out to their “best” option and the old Beta mindset of the scarcity mentality returns. Most times a guy who newly practices Game and plate spinning never really spins plates per se; he uses it for the first monogamous opportunity that’s been eluding him for so long and calls it quits, so he never actualizes and internalizes an abundance mentality. Spinning Plates doesn’t necessarily mean you’re having sex with all of your plates. It’s more of a spreading out of your efforts across a wider pool of subjects. Some will reciprocate, and those you entertain. Others will not, or prove to be less desirable, and those you let fall. This isn’t as difficult as it sounds once you’ve established your own resolve to be non-exclusive. At some point a woman will attempt to corner you into exclusivity and this is where your resolve will be tested. Women love to say how they have Rules, well, you must have Rules as well. This means not shacking up with a woman, not slipping into any routine with her, not calling her more than necessary to set up another sporadic date, saving your weekends for women who’ve had a proven interest level in you (i.e. sex or physical intimacy) and relegating those who haven’t to Tuesdays & Wednesdays. This may seem like a lot of micromanagement, but once you put it into practice, in as pragmatic a way possible to accommodate your life, you’ll find that the decisions you make regarding the plates you are choosing to spin will become automatic. If you feel that you have something to lose with a particular girl, you’re no longer spinning plates - you’re thinking and approaching dating in terms of exclusivity. Long ago on the SoSuave forum the most enigmatic of members named POOK’s came up with a great quote: “Women would rather share a high value Man than be saddled by a faithful loser” A lot of guys (and almost every woman) have a big problem with the truth of this because they take it too literally. POOK wasn’t suggesting that you overtly declare that you’ll be open to other options and that your girls should consciously be expected to accept this. Every woman takes this quote in this way, and with good reason because they don’t want to seem like an easy mark. When it’s on the table like that it unsurprisingly becomes an affront to their pride and self-worth. However, in practice, non-exclusivity has to be covert. It needs to be implied, not declared. Thus you see the truth in POOK’s observation - women’s behavior will bear him out. Imagination and competition anxiety paired with implied non-exclusivity are the cornerstones of successful plate spinning. Become the commodity she’s looking for. A high value Man can spin plates, and sometimes those plates suspect there are, or know there are, other plates in his rotation. Women will tolerate this so long as he remains high enough value (or effectively presents that perception) to here from a sexual market value perspective. If not, hypergamy will move her along to another high value Man. As I state in Plate Theory I, some plates fall off to be replaced by new plates. You must be willing and confident enough to let some of them fall. This is a tough reality for recovering chumps, new to Game, to accept. Deprivation has conditioned them to hang onto a “sure thing” and this becomes all the more difficult when the plate they happen to drop was the first woman they’d ever successfully applied Game to, or was hotter than any girl they’d previously been with. As I mentioned earlier, you don’t have to be sexual with every one of the plates you’re spinning (this used to be called “dating” in the days before serial monogamy became the fashion). It’s the potential in knowing that you could be, or that there are women on stand-by who will value your attention that prompts a competitive anxiety in women. If you are sexual with some of the plates you’re spinning, so much the better since you know that they’re proven commodities and if one isn’t performing as you’d like, you have the unconscious knowledge that others will, or you have the proven ability to generate more options for yourself. Monogamy is a byproduct, not a goal. One of the biggest obstacles guys have with Plate Theory is breaking themselves of this ‘LTR-as-Goal’ mentality. Obviously I’m not anti-monogamy, however monogamy should never be a goal in and of itself; it should be a by-product of Plate Theory, but only when you’ve properly filtered through enough plates to understand how options play into confidence and controlling the frame. The frame you enter into a committed monogamy with is imperative to the health of that relationship. If a woman is unwilling to be non-exclusive with you (i.e. “she’ll leave me if I see other girls” fear) she isn’t a plate to spin. This seems counterintuitive to a guy with an LTR-as-goal mentality, and it is, but the guy who can fearlessly, and honestly stay above-board with his intent is the one who’ll be spinning more plates and dating within his frame. Most guys (AFCs in particular) are deathly afraid of losing that ONE perfect girl and so never even attempt to spin more than one plate, much less have any others to compare her ‘perfection’ to in the first place. I’ve even seen PUAs do exactly this. They’re so impressed with the success of newly perfected techniques that they settle for the ONE ‘dream girl’ and find that their attentions become valueless to her because she perceives she is his only option for intimacy, his script gets flipped on him, and he gets marginalized. It’s not a failure in technique, but rather a failure in his mindset. So what do you do to establish your plates and be truly, and successfully, non¬ exclusive with women? Initially I’d suggest doing exactly what most women have perfected for the better part of their lifetimes - internalize an intentional ambiguity with women. Women practice Plate Theory by default - they play the coquette (hard to get), they know how to be ambiguous enough to keep their options open, but not so much as to let a guy’s interest fail. They naturally know that we only chase what mns away from us. They never commit fully, but still keep the carrot in front of the donkey. Women communicate covertly, with gesture, with looks, with veiled meanings - you have to communicate your intent to be non-exclusive covertly. Never overtly tell a woman you’ve got other plates than her spinning. Allow her to discover this by your mannerisms, your behaviors, and definitely by your availability to her. Create value through scarcity, don’t be so available to her, but just enough to keep her interest and allow her mind to consider that maybe you have other options. Even when you don’t. Fomenting this anxiety is a very useful tool for you while you do get more plates to spin. Even the ambient confidence that comes from knowing you have a past, proven, ability to generate more sexual options for yourself will manifest itself in your personality and trigger this competition anxiety. At some point a woman will resort to overt communications when she’s run out of options in her covert communications tool set. This is the point the anxiety becomes unbearable and the need for security forces her to be overt. This is usually the stage at which she’s ask something direct like, “where is this going?” or “am I your girlfriend?” or she may even give you an ultimatum. See this for what it is, she feels powerless and this is a press to commit. This is the point at which you will end up as a “cheater” or you’ll continue to spin plates. You actually have a lot of options in this situation, in fact more than you will ever have with any individual woman. You can of course take the coward’s path and just agree to exclusivity with her, but in doing so you lose all options (for as far as you’re willing to commit) as she intently becomes your only means of intimacy. She becomes the broker for your options and sexuality, and you lose power, whereas before you were in control of your sexual availability. You could continue to spin her as well, but bear in mind she’s resorted to overtly confronting you about it and it wont be the last you hear of it. Depending on how long you’ve had her around, you may simply just let her drop. You might also keep her going, but let her cool a bit and come back to her in a few week’s time. Again, this seems counterintuitive, but your attention will either wildly increase in her value of it or she’ll simply bug out in which case it wasn’t worth pursuing and you aren’t wasting your time and effort on a woman with less than 100% interest level and desire. Confidence is derived from options. Don’t think of plate theory as a filter so much as it is a means to reinforce confidence. If you were to step into the ring with a professional MMA fighter right now it’d probably be suicide for you. However, train for a few years, spar with other fighters and win a few bouts and you’ll probably be confident enough in your past performances that you know you can hold your own in the ring. That’s the idea, confidence derived from the options of non-exclusive women in hand, and from having successfully generated those options in the past. It’s not a numbers game, it’s a non-exclusivity game. The goal isn’t racking up as many women as humanly possible in order to sift
 
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through the throng and find that one little golden flower. In fact that’s the key to disaster. There is no Quality Woman, that’s an idealization. Some are better than others of course, but you don’t find the perfect woman, you make the perfect woman. There is no needle in the haystack - that is Scarcity / ONEitis thinking - the point is to mold yourself and any woman who you do exclusively end up with into your own frame. This is a process that should come before you commit to exclusivity, not after. The world is filled with guys forever trying to catch up, control the frame and be the Man they should’ve been long before they entered an LTR. They spend the better part of their LTRs/Marriages trying to prove that they deserve their girlfriend’s / Wife’s respect when they’d have done better in letting her come to that conclusion well before the commitment through a healthy dose of competition anxiety. Plate Theory II Non-Exclusivity The Rational Male You cannot help anyone until you’ve first helped yourself. The following was posted with permission from a consult I did. “Hi Rollo, my name is Akash and I am big fan of your posts. They are always lucid, logical, and insightful. I discovered the community about 5 months ago after yet another failed relationship characterized by highly AFC behavior on my part. I ended it with a tremendous amount of guilt as I felt that because she was a “good person” I ought to have made it work even though I wasn ’t in love with her. I am 27years old. Based on your posts I would really appreciate your advice on two issues: (1) how to make the best use of my impending return to school in May for a second undergraduate degree and; (2) how to overcome the cognitive dissonance I feel about pursuing women outside the confines of a committed relationship as I still suffer from social conditioning that tells me I will hurt women by pursuing primarily sexual relationships with them and so it is immoral to do so. If you would like to post a reply on the forum, rather than by a PM, for the benefit of others that is fine with me. I wanted to direct these queries to you though as I believe I could benefit from your worldly wise opinion. Sincerely look forward to hearing from you. Best, Akash ” The following was my response: To begin with, you’ve only been involved in the “community” for the past 5 months so the first thing I’m going to tell you is that it takes time to mold your personality and unlearn mental schemas you’ve become conditioned to consider integral parts of your current personality. One of the biggest obstacles most men have with accepting the fundamentals of a positive masculine mindset is the attitude that personality is static and uncontrollable by them. A lot of this “that’s just how I am” mentality comes from this basic conditioning and needs to be addressed from the outset since this almost universally is an ego- investment on the part of a guy who’s probably emotionally distressed, confused and/or frustrated. Understand now that personality is ultimately what YOU determine it to be. This isn’t to say that external factors don’t influence personality; indeed these variables and outside influences are exactly the reason men such as yourself do seek out the community. However, it is you who determine what is comfortable for you and what will constitute the traits that makes your personality your own. You are most definitely not a blank slate, but you have the capacity to erase parts you don’t like or are unusable and rewrite new parts that you like and prove efficient. Issues (1) how to make the best use of my impending return to school in May for a second undergraduate degree. This all depends on what your own personal goals are. The best use you can make of this time is to devote yourself completely to achieving the purpose for which you decided to pursue a second degree in the first place. I can only assume you are working for this degree with a set outcome in mind, but is this what you truly want? I ask this because I know far too many men who’ve altered the course of their lives to better accommodate the women in their lives or to facilitate their insecurities and fear of rejection. It’s not an unfamiliar story to me to hear of how a guy opted for a certain university or a career path because he’d convinced himself that it would sustain a relationship that he was fearful of loosing or he felt was his “responsibility as a man” to be 'supportive’ of her ambitions at the sacrifice of his own. The conclusion of this scenario, more often than not, ends with a bitter man, mad at himself with the long term results of his choices after the woman he’d striven so long to accommodate leaves him for another man who held fast to his own identity and ambition - which is exactly what made him attractive to her. I’m not sure how or if this fits into your conditions, but let it serve as an illustration for reclaiming and remolding your own personality. Only you have the hindsight to assess why you’ve made certain decisions in your life. I’m only asking you to be as brutally critical of your true motivations for making them. Maybe it’s time you review why you decided to pursue a second degree? (2) how to overcome the cognitive dissonance I feel about pursuing women outside the confines of a committed relationship as I still suffer from social conditioning that tells me I will hurt women by pursuing primarily sexual relationships with them and so it is immoral to do so. Any reasonably attractive woman knows you’d like to have sex with her. It’s a primal, chemical instinct and to be bluntly honest, there’s nothing wrong with it. In certain Islamic sects men are allowed to take “temporary” wives for a set period of time in addition to their “permanent” wives so long as they support them financially. Some Mormons practice open polygamy in a similar fashion. Some men marry and divorce multiple times (and support them congruously) - also known as “soft polygamy”. All of these practices are considered, to a greater or lesser degree, moral. The dissonance occurs when the rationalizations for a behavior conflict with the motivations for it and the associative psycho-social stigmas that get attached to it. Sorry for the $10 words here, but your feelings of guilt or hesitancy in a desire to explore multiple relationships is a calculated result of a very effective social conditioning with a latent purpose meant to curb a natural impulse. Recognizing this is the first step to progressing beyond it and actually using it (responsibly) to your own advantage. As men, our biological impetus is a desire for unlimited access to unlimited sexuality with females bearing the best physical attributes. Ever wonder why pornography has been an ever-present element of human society for millennia? It simulates exactly this (virtual) access. This is a rudimentary fact, and on some level of consciousness both men and women understand this. No amount of proselytizing or social conditioning will erase what God and evolution hard-coded into our collective bio-psychological desires and behaviors. Admittedly, social conventions have historically made a good run at limiting this drive, but it can never (nor should it ever) purge this, because in essence it is a survival-ensuring attribute for us. I wont argue against the utility in the latent purpose of absolute monogamy. No other method proves more valuable in parental investment and developing a strong masculine and feminine psyche in a person than that of a committed, opposite sex, two-parent family. I feel it’s necessary to add here that I am thoroughly unconvinced that gender identity is exclusively a set of learned behaviors as many in the mainstream would try to convince us of. There is simply too much biological evidence and the resulting psychological/behavioral response to gender differences to accept this, making it vitally important that a child (and later a healthy adult) be taught a healthy appreciation for both the masculine and feminine influences in their psyches. The genders were meant to be complimentary, not adversarial. I certainly would never condone infidelity based on just this principle alone since it seems the most beneficial for healthy adults. It’s when this healthy monogamy becomes clouded by infantile, emotionality and insecure romanticisms, with the resulting expectations that are derived by them, that it becomes necessary for a man to cultivate an attitude of being the prize. Adopting this mindset broadens his selection of opportunities for monogamy to his greatest advantage prior to committing to monogamy. In other words, if you are essentially sacrificing your capacity to pursue your biological imperative (unlimited access to unlimited sexuality), pragmatically, you’ll want to choose a partner of the highest quality from the broadest pool of potentials you are capable of attracting. The downside of this proposition is twofold. First, your ability to attract a sizable pool of quality ‘applicants’ is limited by factors you immediately have available. At 37, if all goes well, you’ll be more financially stable and mature than you are at 27. The 37 year old you will, in theory, be more attractive to a long term prospect than the 27 year old you. Secondly, women’s sexual value decreases as they age, meaning there is no guarantee that your beautiful, vivacious, 27 year old bride will remain so at 37. In fact the odds are she wont. All of this makes betting your biological imperative on monogamy critically important and thus deserving of the widest possible selection. Men literally live and die according to their options, so it stands to reason they ought to entertain a prolonged period in their lives where they are open to exploring the most
 
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options they have access to while concurrently developing and improving themselves prior to making a commitment of this magnitude. This is precisely where most men fail. They buy into, and internalize, psychological social contrivances (i.e. ONEitis) that are little more than effective means of embedding a self-expectation of accountability and liability to make this commitment, irrespective of maturity level or personal success (not simply financial success). The saddest ones, the AFC ones, are the pitiable men who carry these contrivances into marriage and even old age without ever understanding that they had more potential which they squandered due to an inability to see past these contrivances and learn to be selective based on experience. A truly powerful Man jealously guards his most precious resources; his independence and his ability to maneuver. In other words his options and his ability to exercise them. True power isn’t about controlling others, but the degree to which you control the course of your own life and your own choices. Commitment to anything always limits this. When you step through one door, a hundred more close behind you. You’re free to do what you want, right? You can always quit a job, divorce a wife, change your school, etc., but how many men do you know who are what they are today as a result of their own real doing, unfettered by how their choices impact their girlfriend, wife, kids, parents, etc.? By comparison, how many guys do you know who dutifully stick with a dead-end job that’s slowly killing them because it’s better than dealing with the consequences and backlash it would have on his family? Are they free to quit? Sure, but not without an impact on their families and relationships. So where does this leave you? You have two paths as I see it. You can explore your options with multiple STRs and, should you decide to become sexually involved, do so while maintaining non-exclusivity with them. Put off and unlearn the expectations you’ve been conditioned to accept through (feminine beneficent) social contrivances and truly explore your opportunities while bettering your own conditions in anticipation for becoming monogamous at some later point. Or, you can remain in your sense of moral doctrine (no shame in this) and still non-exclusively date and explore your options while you continue to better yourself with the caveat that you know you’ll be limiting your depth of experience. I wont denigrate a decision to opt for this, but far too few religious men have the perseverance to stay objective in their decision to ‘hold out’ and overlook major character flaws in women they’d like to be their spouse in a furious rush to marry them and get to “the sex part.” Better to fall short in conviction than make hurried decisions that will negatively alter your life. Perhaps this isn’t even what you’re driving at? I don’t know if it’s a religious conviction or an internalized social contrivance that passes for one that’s the cause of your hesitancy, but isn’t it interesting that both are so closely associated? I know devout atheists who still believe in the fallacy of the ONE or the soulmate myth. Most women (and far too many men) look at me as if I’d denied the existence of God when I elaborate on why I think their eHarmony, induced fantasies of a soulmate are hogwash and psychologically damaging on a social scale. Regardless, whatever your reasons, women should only ever be a compliment to a man’s life, never the focus of it. When you start living for a woman you become that woman. Never again compromise your own identity to receive the ever-changing approval she grants you. You have to be the prize at all times, not just while you’re single. In fact, it’s imperative that you remain so into an LTR. My suggestion to you is not to even entertain the idea of monogamy until you are established in your career for two years, after your college is complete. Play the field, do whatever, but do not commit even to a girlfriend. Rather, make a commitment to yourself, promise yourself you wont allow yourself to let emotionality and conditioned expectations of monogamy dictate what your goals will be or how you’ll achieve them. It’s called enlightened self-interest; you cannot help anyone until you’ve first helped yourself. Plate Theory III Transitioning Whenever a guy uninitiated to the concept of spinning plates reads the theory for the first time his first response is usually rejection of it because it conflicts with what I call a monogamy-as-goal mindset. Understand, this is always going to be a tough stretch for any guy still plugged in to the feminine Matrix, but it’s not limited to them, it’s also the ‘natural’ guy who doesn’t have much trouble attracting women. A male-specific, monogamy- as-a-goal mindset serves the feminine imperative, but it also has roots in our natural desire for security. So it makes anything even remotely like plate spinning counterintuitive. The feminine imperative pounds into men’s collective consciousnesses over the course of a lifetime that monogamy will cure loneliness, make them responsible, provide them with a constant supply of sex, and a host of other things that assures them it’s “the right thing to do” and it’s in their own best interest. This then leads the more option-less individuals to develop and practice Beta methods and rationales in accordance with what they believe (and have been told by) women is required of them in order to achieve their monogamous intimacy (i.e. the goal of everything). So, understandably, when the principle of being non-exclusive is presented to them in a rational way (instead of a ridiculed way as it’s normally passed off as) it conflicts with this perceived path to happiness in monogamy. The very idea that any man would be better off with more options in this arena of life, or could feasibly and logistically pull it off, seems foreign. As a counter to this he makes up rationales as to why it wont work or wont work for him. Logistics “I can’t spin plates because I have too little time, I can’t manage more than one girl without the other finding out, etc. ” If you are indeed spinning plates in a healthy, upfront, non-exclusive way this should never be an issue. There are Game-aware Men with less time than most who manage 4-5 different girls in a week without having them consume all their leisure and business time. I don’t suggest that you go this route per se, because for the better part PUAs rely on a dishonesty in non-exclusivity. However, the reason they are capable of this is because they’ve perfected plate spinning effectively enough to have the plates spin themselves. Most uninitiated Betas reason that they must, at all costs, apply a constant effort to each and every individual girl they encounter at risk of losing a “good one.” Besides this being indicative of 'soul-mate thinking’, what they fear is losing a plate because they are unaccustomed to ever having had the leisure to do so. This is evidence of a scarcity mentality that is a result of their monogamy-as- goal preconditioning. Plate Theory necessitates an attitude of fearlessness - not carelessness, fearlessness. When you’re practicing Plate Theory your plates should call you. You are the prize and the Prince who’s time is valuable and sought after. You should be the object of women’s pursuit. That said, you still have to make an effort to see them and keep the attention you do apply to them valuable, but this must be done with the attitude that if one plate falls you’re confident in your other options or your ability to generate new options. Personality Type “I’m just not like that. I don’t want to be considered a ‘playah’. I could never do that to a woman. How can anyone be like that?” This rationale is a common one and not limited just to chumps. There are plenty of otherwise confident, positively masculine men who’d still think they owe it to women to allow them to set the frame in their relationships without any fear of competition anxiety. Players are men who’re dishonest - they are not spinning plates because they are isolating each plate independent of the other, and this goes back to logistics. Of course you can’t find time for anything else if all you do is try to coordinate each individual story with each plate for fear that they discover each other. The plate spinning Man has no need for this, because he never implies exclusivity to any plate. Either they accept this or they’re not a plate to consider. Done in a frank, honest, yet indirect way, you will not be a ‘Player’ and you will establish yourself as Man who’s attention is worth a woman competing for. Women would rather share a successful man than be saddled with a faithful loser, perfectly sums up Plate Theory vs. Monogamy-as-Goal mindsets. Men in general gravely underestimate the power of female competition anxiety and how useful it really is. As I’ll illustrate next, women are natural plate theorists - they are accustomed from a very early age to mitigate multiple sex- interests, they simply learn how to balance their indirect communications with that anxiety in their own plate spinning. Anxiety in women is good for men. Even when they make no effort to use it or would never consider it if they knew it’s usefulness it is always present. Everything a woman does on a daily basis is colored by competition anxiety. Make up, clothing, shoes (God, the shoes!), indirect communications with men and women, social contrivances, comparing and evaluating dates and possible suitors, everything is borne from this competitive desire to achieve security with the best possible guy and make damn sure the girl next door doesn’t get him first. This anxiety is analogous to men’s consummate fear of rejection and all of the my
 
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riad rationales he’ll create and the Buffers he’ll devise to avoid it. Bear in mind that monogamy is a dictate of the feminine imperative. It is the social contract that the feminine ultimately needs in order to quell a constant desire for security in a very chaotic world. When you are predisposed to monogamy-as-goal thinking, or trying to break yourself of this, understand that this is a tool of the feminine imperative. That’s not to discount the overall merits of monogamy, but it is to make you aware of how it’s acculturated into men as a responsibility to providing monogamy. Men who find themselves in a state of internal conflict about abandoning monogamy-as-goal are really confronting a fundamental shift in their prior feminine conditioning. Plate Theory IV Goal-State Monogamy Female Plate Theory For as often as I’ve mentioned women being natural plate theorists, I don’t often go into detail about it. I think it’s pretty well established that I completely disagree with idea that women will only fuck (or want to fuck) one guy at a time. I could outline several women I know from experience in this, but really, observing behavior will bear this out fairly predictably for most men. I will however agree that women are predisposed to, and are socially encouraged to, seek monogamy (once convenient), but as in all things female the talk rarely matches the behavior. Sexuality is a woman’s first, best, agency and even the homeliest women know this - even when they’re just complaining about other women using it. The principle is that a woman’s first priority is to seek out security, and even when confronted with the duplicity of women pluralistic sexual strategy, we’d be wise to bear this in mind when evaluating motives for behavior -their methodology is what’s in question here. There is an understandable confusion for guys in this respect. On one hand women present a constant facade that the fear of being perceived as a slut (i.e. concurrently fucking more than one guy at a time) is primary to their self-respect and respectability. However, this has to be tempered with the desire (both biological and psychological) to experience a variety of men in order to ensure the security/provisioning from the best among them. So in order to facilitate this women must practice a kind of calculated hypocrisy that is socially reinforced by the gender as a whole as well as some men (usually those so optionless as to excuse the behavior in order to get to her sexuality, or guys so conditioned that they overlook it as normal). It is socially acceptable for a woman to blatantly spin plates. Does this sound outrageous? While a woman who makes her sexual practices a bit too overt runs the risk of being perceived as a slut (which is dubious in this age as it is), most relatively attractive women covertly have a constant bullpen of starters ready to go to bat at any one time - these are also known as ‘Orbiters’. Orbiters are the attention providers, the “maybe” guys. It makes little difference in terms of available options which she chooses at any given time, the very fact that she has five or six of them pursuing her is enough to boost her sense of self- worth, her social status within her same-gender peers, and give her the confidence to drop any one of her plates at a moments notice for any reason knowing that 2 or 3 more guys (or 20 more on facebook) stand ready to take his place, no questions asked and prepared rationalizations at the ready. Furthermore, this practice is socially reinforced by women doing the same thing and the social conventions constructed to excuse the behavior. It’s the unspoken rule of a woman’s prerogative; a woman can always change her mind. This is a powerful tool for women - in any situation, if a woman doesn’t choose to be sexual it is necessarily forced (or obligated), even when it’s after the fact. Either the “Jerk” forced her, physically or emotionally, or she had thought she wanted to, but later reconsidered - it makes little difference. In all social situations the default is to side with the feminine, the “weaker sex” - women, from sympathy or empathy, and men, from a desire to eventually become intimate with them. In either instance, the feminine prerogative is socially reinforced. That’s important to understand because even by my focusing on it here as a male, my motives for doing so become suspect. That’s how embedded this dynamic is - to question it risks ostracization. However, I also understand that for the greater part of women, this plate spinning dynamic isn’t a conscious effort on their part. In fact I’d suggest that it’s so thoroughly recognized that women default to it autonomously. Also, this is a good example of the first principle of power - when you have power, always feign powerlessness. Free Reign So, with a firm understanding that their behaviors will for the most part be excused, they are free to practice the feminine form of plate theory unhindered by social reprisal. The feminine plate spinning involves much more than sex though. Remember, attention is the coin of the realm in female society. The capacity to command attention determines self-esteem, peer status, sexual selectivity, and a host of other factors in a woman’s life, so spinning plates becomes more than just a “which guy am I gonna get with tonight” prospect. This dynamic and these factors are what makes women natural plate spinners. Even when a woman has no intention of ever becoming sexual with a “maybe” guy, his attention still has some value to her. It appeals to the long term prospective for security that’s a continuous subroutine running in her hindbrain. This is the rudimentary psychology behind hypergamy. Now, combine all of this with women’s native language - covert communication - and it’s natural for a man to assume that a woman will only ever become sexual with one guy at a time. This serves the latent purpose of keeping him in a kind of stasis. If he assumes women will only be sexual under the precondition of comfort and commitment she is free to spin plates (essentially weighing options) as she pleases and sample at will what she sees as in her hypergamic best interest at the time. If the carrot looks good enough the guy will patiently pull the cart until such time as another, better carrot comes along. Either way he’s in that stasis. If a guy were to see her social and psychological machinations for what they are, he’d never pull the cart - so it serves women best that men think commitment should always be required for intimacy, even in the face of her behavior directly contradicting this. Plate Wars Lastly, this social dynamic serves as a very effective weapon for women against each other. Competition anxiety between women is something men can exploit for their own plate spinning, but the reason it is useful is because women so readily use it against each other. For a woman to say another woman is a “slut” translates into an overt betrayal of this unspoken social contrivance. Essentially she’s saying, “the rules are that women require commitment for sex, but here’s one who’ll never be worthy of any guy’s commitment because she wont play by the rules you suckers think she will.” She is tacitly disqualified for a man’s commitment and is, at least in the accusing woman’s mind, a reduced threat in this feminine competition. She becomes exposed in the same game they’re all playing and in being so, loses attention and therefore status and personal esteem. It seems petty to guys, but it’s really intra-gender warfare. Think of how many times an exceptionally attractive woman, that is completely anonymous to a group of women you happen to be with, will berate her based on appearance alone. “She’s must be a tramp if she dressed like that. ” These are the same women who’ll berate a man for basing his estimation of a woman on her outer appearance. This is manifested feminine competition anxiety. Ask a woman to name the most attractive female actress they can think of. Odds are it will be a woman (who as a guy you’d never think of) who presents the least threat of this anxiety. Gentlemen, as I’m fond of saying, women will fuck. They may not fuck you, they may not fuck me, but they will fuck someone. The girl who bangs the hot guy at the foam party in Cancun on Spring Break within 5 minutes of meeting him is the same girl who wants you to believe that they’ll only fuck one guy at a time and then after commitment. All women are sexual, you just need to be the right guy at the right time for the job. Plate Theory V Lady’s Game Plate Theory is for your benefit, not for women’s. That might sound harsh, but it’s a method intended to increase your value as a commodity that works on two levels. First, the external - by practicing honest, non-exclusive dating you communicate to your prospective plates that you are in demand. I’ve gone so far as to tell men to foster this sense by never answering the phone from Friday to Sunday evening, even when they have no other plans. The perception that your attention is sought after increases it’s value - it’s when men are too eager to get with a woman that their attention becomes worthless and interest levels decline. Nothing serves a man better than having 3 or 4 women competing for his exclusive attention and fostering in them that feminine competitive anxiety in as subtle and covert a way as possible. Make no mistake, it’s a real art that women are all too familiar with themselves in their own inter¬ gender dealings. Women are natural plate theorists, they simply use their varying degrees of physical attractiveness to line their plates up. Secondly, plate theory is for a man’s own internal benefit. It’s much easier for a man not to give a shit if he truly doesn’t give a shit. It’s far easier to deal with women on the basis of indifference when you have a subconscious knowledge that there are at least 3 other women who’ll be happy to have your attention if one plays games with you. The reason men fail most shit-tests women give them is because they subconsciously telegraph too much interest in a single woman. Essentially a shit- test is used by women to determine one, or a combination of these factors: a. ) Confidence - first and foremost b. ) Options - is this guy really into me because I’m ‘special’ or am I his only option? c. ) Security - is this guy capable of providing me with long term security? By practicing Plate Theory, your mental attitude will be such (or should be such) that you will pass most shit-tests based simply on this practice. Abundance thinking is the root of Plate Theory. A lot has been written about approaching women (and really life in general) from a position of Abundance. People often make the mistake of assuming that having a wide variety of choices tends to cheapen the commodity, and to a degree this is accurate, but it also allows for a better, learned awareness of which choice amongst the pool is common and which is of higher quality. “,.. .but Rollo, I’m so busy that I have no choice but to ignore and postpone. They sense it and seek me out. I worry that I’ll create crazies. My weekends are jammed. At what point do we stop?” This is a the best problem you can have. You’ve successfully flipped the script; you’ve gotten to a point where it becomes instinctive and your plates actively seek out your attention. By default, you’re creating value by scarcity. At what point do you stop? How old are you? If you’re under 30 stay in the game. If you’re over 30, stay in the game, but cool things off occasionally - the only time a man should even contemplate monogamy is after experiencing abundance. If you’re inundated with women occupying your weekends, consider hooking up with a proven plate on a Thursday evening and reserve your weekends for your other pursuits. Also, don’t be afraid to clear your schedule to hang out with friends or do other things that interest you. Remember, scarcity increases value. Too many guys think that plate spinning is something that needs a constant effort, it doesn’t. In fact applying yourself equally across all your active plates only pushes you closer to settling for one or two. Most guys think that they have to continually spin their plates, you don’t; if you’re doing it correctly they’ll spin themselves for you. The anxiety is that if you don’t keep applying attention to any one plate she’ll lose interest and fall off. Sometimes this is the case and you have to be prepared to accept it, some plates have to break in order to spin more, and that’s OK. More often than not however, your scarcity will create value and mystique, thus they will pursue you for their affirmation. Plate theory of course can be a means to an LTR, but bear in mind that it’s essential that you practice it long enough and effectively enough to determine what a quality woman means to you and how to recognize her. As with most Game skills, the uninitiated will use them to some degree of success up to the point that he finds his idealized “girl of his dreams” and launch into a self- destructive LTR because his idealization was based on juvenile impressions rather than a mature understanding of what a quality woman’s characteristics are. This is all due to a lack of concrete experience. Spin plates for as long as possible, because once you do commit to an LTR, even with the tightest of Game you will lose a measure of the competitive anxiety that made your attentions valuable to any one woman. All your plates fall off and the girl you’re engaged in an LTR with gets too comfortable. This is root of why men find that the woman they had hot sweaty monkey sex with when they were dating becomes more sexually reserved a few months after they’re a couple. The competitive anxiety is relieved and therefore sexual frequency and quality is no longer a proving trait for her. That’s not to say there aren’t methods to stoke this anxiety in an LTR, but, by comparison to being single, the frame of the relationship doesn’t have to be contested when she and you understand that she is your only source of intimacy and sex. In a committed relationship, you simply cannot spin plates. Plate Theory VI Scarcity & Abundance Plugged In In the “community” there’s a lot of want for better terms. One of the major obstacles in the average guy’s path to unplugging from his conditioned interpretations of gender relations is really coming to terms with the ‘terms’ we use. Somewhere on the net I’m sure there’s a glossary of the common acronyms used in the “manosphere” outlining the various shorthand we use. Some of these terms have gone mainstream and I’m beginning to see even “legitimate” online journalists use LTR (long term relationship) or ONS (one night stand) somewhat regularly, meaning there’s a common perception that others will already know what they mean. The reason this is a obstacle for a lot of plugged-in guys is because it seems almost juvenile, like a tree house club for preteen boys. For me to draw comparisons of an acculturated, feminine social paradigm to the central plot of the Matrix movies, admittedly, that seems kind of silly. It’s an apt comparison and a useful allegory when you understand the concepts behind it, but for a guy just coming to grasp it while being immersed in a feminine-primary socialization for his whole life, it doesn’t click. And predictably, women invested in that same socialization see the terminology as little more than little boys holed up in their tree house, throwing rocks at the girls below. However, like any new developing science or art or technology there is always going to be a need to codify abstract concepts. We lack better terms so we’re forced to create new ones to represent new concepts. The AFC - average frustrated chump - was coined almost a decade ago with Mystery Method. It’s seen a lot of modification over the years, becoming almost synonymous the use of the term Beta (beta male) or Herb (herbivorous male). In fact, although I use it often, I rarely read AFC in PUA blogs, forums or the ‘community’ at large. Regardless of the terminology, the concept is really the crux of the term. Most AFCs, most guys looking in from the outside, can relate to the idea of what an average frustrated chump is - they can identify with it. Once they begin unplugging, the AFC idea comes into better focus and, usually with some discomfort, they realize how that term applies to themselves: Qualities of an AFC • ONEitis - First and foremost. • Subscribes to feminine idealizations. • Supplication is supportive. To comply with gender equalism she must increase, so he must decrease, relational equity is the basis of a rational relationship. • The Savior Schema -reciprocation of intimacy for problems solved. • The Martyr Schema - the more you sacrifice the more it shows devotion. • The ‘Friends’ Debt - LJBF (“lets just be friends”) and the pseudo-friendship as a means to prospective intimacy. • Primarily relies on dating and social skills (or lack thereof) developed during adolescence and early adulthood • A behavioral history that illustrates a mental attitude of ‘serial monogamy’ and the related insecurities that accompany it. • A belief that women infallibly and consciously recognize what they want, and honestly convey this to them, irrespective of behaviors that contradict this. Uses deductive reasoning in determining intent and bases female motivations on statements rather than objectively observing behavior. Believes women’s natural propensity is for rational rather than emotional thought. • An over-reliance on rejection Buffers. • A belief in the Identification Myth. The more alike he is, or can make himself, with his idealized female the better able he will be to attract and secure her intimacy. Believes that shared common interests are the only key to attraction and enduring intimacy. • Believes and practices the “not like other guys” doctrine of self-perceived uniqueness, even under the condition of anonymity. • Considers LDRs (long distance relationships) a viable option for prolonged intimacy. • Maintains an internalized belief in the qualifications and characterizations of women that coincide with his ability (or inability) to attract them. Thus, he self-confirms the “she’s out of my league” and the “she’s a loose slut” mentalities on-the-fly to reinforce his position for his given conditions. • Harbors irrational (often socially reinforced) fears of long term solitude and alters his mind-set to accommodate or settle for a less than optimal short term relationship - often with life long consequences. The AFC will confirm a belief in egalitarian equality between the genders without consideration for variance between the genders. Ergo, men make perfectly acceptable feminine models and women make perfectly acceptable masculine models. Due to societal pressures he unconsciously self-confirms androgyny as his goal state. This is anything but a comprehensive list. There are far more, but my intent here isn’t to provide you with a list of criteria that qualifies an AFC (“you might be a chump if,..”), rather it’s to give you some basic understanding to clarify the term, and round out the idea of what an AFC is. Needless to say these mental schema are some of the impediments to unplugging, or helping another man unplug, from his old way of thinking. As I’m fond of repeating, unplugging chumps from the Matrix is dirty work. Expect to be met with a lot of resistance, but understanding what dynamics you may harbor yourself or those that a friend might cling to will
 
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thecel

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help you in moving past the years of social conditioning. It’s thankless work, and more often than not you’ll also be facing a constant barrage of shit tests (from both women and feminized men) and ridicule in your efforts. Be prepared for it. Unplugging chumps is triage - save those you can, read last rites to the dying. In the next few sections I’ll be explaining some of these plugged-in qualities in more detail. Women have boyfriends and girlfriends. If you’re not fucking her, you’re her girlfriend. “Rollo, how do I get out of the Friend-Zone?” Never allow yourself to get into it. Women have used the LJBF (“let just be friends”) rejection for a hundred years because it serves an ego preservation function for her. To a greater or lesser degree, women require attention and the more they have of it the more affirmation they experience, both personally and socially. The LJBF rejection is a Social Convention that has classically ensured a woman can reject a man yet still maintain his previous attention. It also puts the responsibility for the rejection back on his shoulders since, should he decline the ‘offer of friendship’, he is then responsible for entertaining this ‘friendship’. This of course has the potential to backfire on women these days since the standard AFC response will be to accept an LJBF rejection in the mistaken hope of ‘proving’ himself worthy of her intimacy by being the perfect ‘surrogate boyfriend’ - fulfilling all her attention and loyalty prerequisites with no expectation of reciprocating her own intimacy. I should also point out that this situation is analogous to men using women as “fuck buddies” - fulfilling all his sexual availability needs with no expectations of reciprocating commitment. Needless to say this merely positions the new “friend” into being the ‘emotionally supportive’ Beta counterpart to the indifferent Alpha she’ll consistently bang and then complain about - also popularly known as the Emotional Tampon. The LJBF rejection also serves as an ego preservation for her in that having offered the false olive branch of ‘friendship’ to him in her rejection she can also sleep that night knowing that she (and any of her peers) wont think any less of herself. After all, she offered to be friends, right? She is absolved of any feelings of personal guilt or any responsibilities for his feelings if she still wants to remain amiable with him. Men get a LJBF rejection because of a process. These are the “friends first” mindset guys; the guys who put far too much emphasis on a solitary woman and wait her out until the perfect moment to attempt to escalate to intimacy, at which point her most comfortable rejection (Buffer) is to LJBF. This is made all the more easy for her because of the process the guy used to get to that point. Sniper Mentality Virtually all guys who get to the point of a LJBF rejection come to it because they fall in line with some variation of what I call a Sniper Mentality. They patiently wait for their one target, to the exception of all others, constantly attempting to prove their quality in doing so - meaning they emphasize a comfort level and try to be friends before lovers. In essence they believe that desexualizing themselves will make them more attractive (by virtue of not being like “other guys”) because they’ve bought into the idea that a woman must be comfortable with them first before they initiate intimacy. Once the AFC gets to a point where he’s mustered enough courage to initiate, and he feels she ‘should’ be comfortable enough to appreciate him as boyfriend material, the Sniper takes his shot. The problem with this process is that it bypasses essential stages of attraction and the necessary discomfort and sexual tension necessary for intimacy, and proceeds directly to a warm familiar, comfortable, (and ultimately anti- seductive) rapport, the exact opposite of arousal. If you think about this in terms of sex, this is the stage right after climax when she wants to cuddle, spoon and be wrapped up in her nice, secure oxytocin induced comfort. This is the opposite of the testosterone fueled, sweaty, anxious and uncomfortable stage of arousal and intercourse before that release. So in terms of “friendship” and the Sniper Mentality, you’ve skipped arousal and gone straight to comfort. You’re perceived as a stuffed animal she can hug and then put back on the bed. Thus, when that previously platonic stuffed animal uncharacteristically gets a hard-on and says “I think we ought to be intimate” her reaction is to think that everything you’ve done for her up to that point has been a grand ruse. “My God, all you wanted was sex this whole time?” Her most predictable response is then the LJBF rejection. The field has already been tilled by you, it’s only one, very easy step for her to stay in that suspended comfort - “can’t we just be friends?” And then the cycle repeats. The AFC believes the LJBF is a genuine offer (not a rejection) and then falls back into the Sniper Mentality. He mustn’t have been convincing enough to prove his worth to her and therefore returns to further proving himself as the perfect boyfriend until he once again presses his intent of intimacy after another period. All this goes on apace until she becomes intimate with a ‘reaF boyfriend and/or he acquires a new target after realizing his efforts with the LJBF girl aren’t bearing fruit. The Friend Zone The problem with a lot of the ‘friend-zone’ advice women tend to offer is that they cast doubt on whether a LJBF rejection is in fact a rejection and not a genuine offer of friendship. To which I’ll say, the only reason the ‘friend-zone’ is such a common issue among men & women for so long is because it’s been repeated so regularly and the outcome so predictable as a rejection. A woman’s behavior is always the only gauge of her intent, and thus when a rejection like LJBF has been so consistently met with the same outcome and behavior (as evidenced by millions of identical stories from men) it’s only pmdent for a Man to behave in kind. A man’s default response should always be to excuse him from the LJBF situation. The reason for this is because it serves his best interest whether she is testing him or is rejecting him. If he is confident enough in himself to walk away from the sexually tense environment, he proves himself as decisive enough to put himself above being ‘played’ like this. Ergo, he leaves her with the impression that he is the prize, possibly has contacts with better prospective women and is confident enough to take away his attentions from her and thus passes any shit test she might have implied, while placing the responsibility of a re-connection on her (where it should be anyway). If she has in fact had a change of heart (her prerogative, remember?) and is using the LJBF as a means to reject him, he still benefits from all of the above and plants the ‘seed of doubt’ in her about her initial estimation of his acceptability for her intimacy. Even if she is truly not interested in the guy, he walks away on his feet and not his knees, by playing “friend” with her and wasting still more time that could be far better spent with more productive prospects. It is really one of the few win-win Game situations for a guy to make a wholesale withdrawal of his attentions when he is confronted with an LJBF. Women know all too well how an LJBF places social pressure on a guy to accept what basically amounts to an ultimatum of negative social proof, and that’s a hell of a shit test no matter what her real intent is. If the guy turns down her offer of friendship, he’s the dickhead, not her. But the guy that can do what common sense and gut instinct points out to him will be the one to succeed, with her, other women and himself. Confrontation Human being’s natural inclination is to avoid confrontation. When a man makes an approach to intimacy with a woman this becomes confrontational. If she is unsure of a man’s sexual acceptability for her intimacy she must resort to psycho-social, learned behaviors to diffuse this confrontation. Preferably these techniques should be reinforced beforehand and proven to diffuse just such a confrontation, thus the LJBF response is acted out through generations of women across many different cultures - quite simply it works more often than not. You can also apply this to the Boyfriend Disclaimer; women who not-so- nonchalantly weave into their casual conversation that they have a boyfriend in a preemptive effort to diffuse a potential suitor’s interests. It’s basically a proactive LJBF rejection - she reads your telegraphed intent and prevents your further pressing her for a date. It’s the guy who is unwilling to accept these conventions that makes the most lasting impressions of confidence with women. It goes against what our common human heritage dictates for us - avoid conflict, don’t make waves, be her friend, etc. By not accepting a LJBF you emphatically make known that you are good at confrontation, you have an understanding of her motives and you’re confident enough in yourself to make it known. Not only does this impress her with potential for security provisioning it also implies future confidence. The problem for most guys is enacting this and making it a default behavior when our biology would have us move away from conflict rather than engage in an unacceptable social dynamic that is subtly damaging to his own interests. LDRs are not relationships. I’m sorry to break this to you, but there is no such thing as a long distance relationship (LDR). That’s correct, you have no relationship. An LDR simply does not meet the criteria necessary for it to be considered a legitimate relationship. There is no reciprocity of anything more than words passing over a phone line or an instant message text. Understand me here - you have no relationship. You have self-assumed accountability, self-assumed liability and internalized responsibilities to be loyal to this person, this idealization, in your head. You are entertaining a commitment to fidelity with an idealization, and ignoring what everyone outside of your LDR will regularly tell you is insanity. LDRs are one of the more insidious forms of ONEitis. LDRs are the most easily identifiable form of ONEitis, and it would be laughable if it weren’t so damaging to a guy’s life maturation. The LDR man generally sacrifices years of his life in this pitiable effort to pursue his 'soulmate’ across the planet or even a hundred miles away. The very thought of refuting the idea that an LDR can work is equatable to denying his belief this fantasized ONEitis fueled idealization that he’s swallowed for the better part of his life. It’s easy to criticize an LDR in the terms of questioning either party’s earnestness and fidelity in entertaining an LDR and this is usually the tact that most people giving advice on LDRs follow. One or both parties are or will ‘cheat’ on the other over the course of time, it’s true, but LDRs are far more telling of a mentality that results in much more damaging consequences as a result of deeply conditioned self-expectations and fears. I can’t begin to list the number of otherwise intelligent and ambitious men I’ve known who’ve drastically altered the course of their lives to follow their ONE. Men who’ve changed their majors in college, who’ve selected or switched universities, men who’ve applied for jobs in states they would never have considered, accepted jobs that are sub-standard to their ambitions or qualifications, men who’ve renounced former religions and men who’ve moved across the planet all in an effort to better accommodate an idealized woman with whom they’ve played pseudo-boyfriend with over the course of an LDR; only to find that she wasn’t the person they thought she was and were depressive over the gravity that their decisions played in their lives. An LDR is akin to a LJBL, but writ large and festering in a man’s life. You play surrogate boyfriend, voluntarily accepting and internalizing all of the responsibilities and accountabilities of being a woman’s exclusive, monogamous partner with no expectation of reciprocating intimacy or sexuality in the immediate future. However an LDR is worse than a LJBL arrangement since it pervasively locks a man into a success or failure mentality with regards to the relationship actually being legitimate. After all, she’s agreed to remain his girlfriend (from miles away) and if he’s the one to falter it’s his lack of perseverance in this ONEitis ego-investment that dooms them. Once the LDR inevitably ends he’s the one left with the self-doubt, he’s the one beating himself up over wasting time, money and effort and he’s the one feeling guilty whether he or she is the true ‘cheater’. Invisible Friends An LDR is like having an invisible friend with whom you’re constantly considering the course of your actions with. Consider the personal, romantic, familial, educational, career, personal maturity and growth opportunities that you’ve limited yourself from or never had a chance to experience because of this invisible friend. When you finally divorce yourself from this invisible friend, will it have all been worth it? Guys cling to LDRs because they’ve yet to learn that Rejection is better than Regret. AFCs will nurse along an LDR for years because it seems the better option when compared with actually going out and meeting new women who represent a potential for real rejection. They think it’s better to stick with the 'sure thing’, but it’s the long term regret that is the inevitable result of an LDR that is life damaging. Nothing reeks of desperation or verifies a lack of confidence more than a guy who self-righteously proclaims he’s in an LDR. Women see you coming a mile off, because you are a guy without options, clinging to his one previously realized option. In fact the only reason a man entertains an LDR is due to a lack of options. If you had more plates spinning an LDR would never look like a good idea. And finally, it’s not uncommon to see the “not in my case” defense offered about how you actually do see your invisible friend once every 4 or six months. To this I’ll say, again, what opportunities are you censoring yourself from experiencing by playing virtual, long-distance, house with a woman you only see this often? Do you honestly think you’re the exception to the rule? The truth is you’re molding your lifestyle around what you hope your relationship will be in the future - that’s no way to live. The following was a timely question by a SoSuave forum member: “Just wanted to find out: who do you talk to about aspects of game with off this site? I’m talking here about “game” in the broadest sense of the term, so pick-up, but also self-esteem, how to keep a relationship healthy, the roles of men and women in society etc. ” “My experience with voicing the views advocated in the ‘manosphere’ in public has nearly always been negative. I have 3-4 good male friends who are interested in pick-up, and they love it. But these friends are the exception rather than the rule. My parents (beta dad, controlling mum) think my attitude towards women is sexist and my opinion ofONSs (one night stands) “disgusting. ” Just about everybody I know subscribes to the Disney / soulmate view of relationships, and some of my contemporaries (I’m 21) are even starting to settle down and get married. God help them. Talking to girls in bed about what they find attractive in a man is interesting, if only to see the extent to which they delude themselves, but ultimately counter-productive, since a woman (tacitly) expects a man to know how to express his sexuality. ” “Can we as men ever talk about these things in public? What are your experiences ? ” Before I begin, let me say that I think it’s encouraging to see such an insightful question posed by so young a Man. From The Matrix: MORPHEUS: The Matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy. But when you’re inside, you look around, what do you see? Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it. Every random chump within earshot of your conversation about Game, about your ‘changed’ way of seeing inter-gender relations, about your most objective critical observations of how women ‘are’, etc. - understand, that chump waits everyday for an opportunity to “correct” you in as public a way as he’s able to muster. That AFC who’s been fed on a steady diet of noble intent, with ambitions of endearing a woman’s intimacy through his unique form of chivalry; that guy, he’s aching for an opportunity to prove his quality by publicly redressing a “villain” like you for your chauvinism. Even under the conditions of relative anonymity (like the internet), he’ll still cling to that want of proving his uniqueness just on the off chance that a woman might read his rebuff and be fatefully attracted to him. This is the bread and butter of the White Knight Beta. It’s best to assume that most guys who pick up on just your Game vibe, to say nothing of overtly talking about it, are going to side with the feminine imperative by default. For practitioners of Beta Game (which is to say the better part of 90% of guys) this is an organic opportunity to identify with women and engage in the same shaming conventions women use without the fear of having it seem contrived. Now this is the mechanics of it, but the rabbit hole goes deeper than that. For the Beta Game that our noble white knight is so invested in to work, he depends on an assumed system. He depends upon reaffirming his assumed understanding of how to best achieve a woman’s intimacy (sex). He must reaffirm that presumption by defending it and looking for opportunities to show he adheres to the feminine imperative (or the version of the imperative he’s been taught to believe). His Game, his ego-invested identity is literally dependent upon that system. So not only is he defending his Game and his ego, he’s also defending the social architecture that makes his Beta Game even possible. You see, when an AFC clings to the mental schemas that make up an AFC mindset it requires a constant need for affirmation and reinforcement, particularly in light of his glaring lack of verifiable success with women while clinging to, and behaving in accordance with the mindset. AFCs are like crabs in a barrel - once one gets to the top to climb out another drags him back in. The AFC needs other AFCs to affirm his blatantly obvious lack of success. He needs other AFCs to tell him, “don’t worry just be yourself” or “she’s just not a quality woman because she can’t see how great a guy you are.” So when an AFC finally does get a second date and then finally does get laid it becomes the ultimate validation for his mindset. “See, you just have to be a patient Nice Guy and the right ONE really does come along.” This is when the self-righteous phase begins and he can begin telling his PUA friends that ‘his Game’ does work, and he’s “getting some” now without all the Positive Masculinity claptrap. In actuality he rationalizes away all of the conditions that led up to him getting the girlfriend and the fundamental flaw that he’s settling for a woman “who’d fuck him”, but this doesn’t stop him from claiming a moral high grou
 
thecel

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nd. His long wait is over and he’s finally hit White Knight pay-dirt. Average Frustrated Chump Playing Friends Letting Go of Invisible Friends Enter White Knight The concept of Honor that men began has been made to serve a feminine purpose. I have no doubt that the principle of honor dates back from as long ago as we can track human civilization, but like so many other social foundation Men have instituted, the feminine will covertly position them to its own purpose. In the introduction to the Art of Seduction author Robert Greene explains why there was an original need for seduction to be developed into an art. For this we can look back to ancient civilizations where women were essentially a commodity. They had no overt external power to control their fates, but they excelled (and still do) at covert psychological internal power, and this of course finds a parallel in men and women’s preferred communication methods. The feminine’s primary agency has always been sexuality and manipulating influence by its means. Much in the same way that each gender communicates, so too is their method of interacting within their own gender. As Men we’re respected when we keep our word, sacrifice ourselves for a worthy cause (even to the point of disposability), solve problems rationally, our word is our bond, and a whole host of other qualifiers that make us respectable and worthy of integrity. We must be overt and above board; and when we encounter a man who is covert in his dealings we call him ‘shifty’ and think him untrustworthy. Even for the most noble of purposes, practicing the art of misdirection is not something men are respected for - at least not publicly. It’s just this overt masculine interactive nature that women are only too ready to exploit. In combination with their sexual agency and influence they use this overt male social interactive dynamic to position themselves in places where they can use indirect power. Cleopatra was an excellent example of this - sending armies to war by appealing to powerful men’s pride and honor, while reserving her sexuality as a reward. Virtually every Feminine Social Convention is rooted in appealing to, or attacking male social institutions - a dedication to an idealistic sense of honor being chief among them. The obvious example is of course “shaming” and the “do-the-right-thing” social contract. In fact to be a “Man” has become synonymous with living up to a feminine imperative that’s cleverly disguised as masculine Honor. It’s not that women created Honor, but rather that they’ve recreated it to serve their purpose. In the Biblical Ten Commandments we’re told not to commit adultery - don’t sleep with another man’s wife - which probably wasn’t too hard to abide by when polygamy was the norm. In fact multiple wives was a sign of affluence, it used to be the conspicuous consumption of the epoch. Why then is polygamy a social perversion now? What changes occurred that made polygamy honorable (even enviable) into a very evil taboo? Along with language and culture, social conditions evolve. What we think of as Honorable today are the result of centuries molding. It’s very easy to romanticize about times when Honor among Men reigned supreme, and then lament the sad state of society today in comparison, but doing so is a fools errand. Honor in and of itself is, and should be, a foundation for Men, but it’s only useful when we understand it in the perspective of how it can be used against us. Man Up or Shut Up - The Male Catch 22 One of the primary way’s Honor is used against men is in the feminized perpetuation of traditionally masculine expectations when it’s convenient, while simultaneously expecting egalitarian gender parity when it’s convenient. For the past 60 years feminization has built in the perfect Catch 22 social convention for anything masculine; The expectation to assume the responsibilities of being a man (Man Up) while at the same time denigrating asserting masculinity as a positive (Shut Up). What ever aspect of maleness that serves the feminine purpose is a man’s masculine responsibility, yet any aspect that disagrees with feminine primacy is labeled Patriarchy, 'Male Privilege’ or Misogyny. Essentially, this convention keeps Beta males in a perpetual state of chasing their own tails. Over the course of a lifetime they’re conditioned to believe that they’re cursed with masculinity (Patriarchy) yet are still responsible to 'Man Up’ when it suits a feminine imperative. So it’s therefore unsurprising to see that half the men in western society believe women dominate the world (male powerlessness) while at the same time women complain of a lingering Patriarchy (female powerlessness) or at least sentiments of it. This is the Catch 22 writ large. The guy who does in fact Man Up is a chauvinist, misogynist, patriarch, but he still needs to man up when it’s convenient to me
 
thecel

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et the needs of a female imperative. In contemporary society we have a very different understanding of what Honor was, or was intended to be initially. One of the psychological undercurrents I see in most AFCs is a strong, self-righteous dedication to a very distorted conviction of Honor. A main tenet being an unearned, default respect for women; essentially an unearned Honor placed on a woman for no other reason than she’s female. We learn this (usually) from the time we’re children, “never hit a girl”. Naturally, this has only been ferociously encouraged by the feminine since Victorian times because it served a latent purpose right up until on demand (feminine exclusive) birth control was offered, and then prompted the sexual revolution. Today, we still have women using the anachronism that is male Honor in a manner that serves their interests, but it’s contrasted with a sexually emphasized opportunism. A Man’s responsibility should be “Honoring” her as ‘the fairer sex’ while recognizing her ‘independence’. The AFC gobbles this stuff up and in an effort to better identify himself with her ideals he begins to convince himself that he’s unique in that he better exemplifies this false-virtue, this feminine defined sense of Honor than “other guys”. The Honor System “Every time a man is being nice to you, he’s offering dick. That’s all it is. ‘Uh, can I get that for ya? How ’bout some dick? Can I help you with that? Can I help you with some dick? Do you need some dick?’ ” - Chris Rock The Savior Schema - the Beta male expectation of reciprocation of intimacy (usually sexual) for female problems solved. This is a learned/developed behavior that results from men’s natural push to deductively search for the most rational solution to a problem. It’s really a linear logic: I need sex + women have sex + I must discover what is required for me to get sex from women + I will perform/embody/identify with said requirements = woman will reciprocate with her sexual intimacy. Needless to say this is simplistic at best, but as is the root cause for most of men’s frustrations with women, men have a tendency to believe that women will respond as rationally as they themselves would in qualifying for her stated desires. The manosphere is full of men who can tell you this simply isn’t the case for any number of reasons, but sadly they still think that women ought to live up to, and honor, their implied “agreement.” The fundamen
 
thecel

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fuark
 
thecel

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This website seriously needs to get ERed.
 
Last edited:
Reckless Turtle

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Need2Ascend

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"14 – 24 years old: Looks are EVERYTHING. Yes, some romanticism might help complete the fantasy, and Game is definitely a factor, but the priority for arousal is primarily Darwinian. Women will gladly overlook character flaws or a lack of assets in favor of fucking the physical Alpha while she approaches her own sexual apex. For a brilliant study of this take the time to read Dr. Martie Hasselton’s study, Why Muscularity is Sexy."

I mean he just talks about attracting girls, but looks are just everything for anything in your youth. At least he's not delusional like most bookwriters
 
eduardkoopman

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King_ said:
The TL;DR is:

Men age like fine wine. And women age like milk.
Men gain money and status, and become very attractive to women as an oldcell. And he can go be a provider (aka buxxing) for her.


LOL @ graph from him. Where an average 20 year old dude, has equal SMV as a 54 year old guy.


Also LOL at this math man.
Are they forgetting, most men get fat and uglier in their 30's?

sauce: https://blacklabellogic.com/2016/03/02/exploring-the-sexual-market-value/


***
I like in this grpah. that popped up.
How he is correct. That a woman her peak SMV; will be MASSIVELY higher in vlaue than a man his SMV.
I dunno about the steep decline

sauce: http://www.andychalkley.com.au/books/Girl_Power/OEBPS/content/Chapter20.html
 
Last edited:
King_

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eduardkoopman said:
The TL;DR is:

Men age like fine wine. And women age like milk.
Men gain money and status, and become very attractive to women as an oldcell. And he can go be a provider (aka buxxing) for her.


LOL @ graph from him. Where an average 20 year old dude, has equal SMV as a 54 year old guy.


Also LOL at this math man.
Are they forgetting, most men get fat and uglier in their 30's?

sauce: https://blacklabellogic.com/2016/03/02/exploring-the-sexual-market-value/


***
I like in this grpah. that popped up.
How he is correct. That a woman her peak SMV; will be MASSIVELY higher in vlaue than a man his SMV.
I dunno about the steep decline

sauce: http://www.andychalkley.com.au/books/Girl_Power/OEBPS/content/Chapter20.html
Lol how did he get any of this data? Or is he just making an assertion. Last graph seems pretty legit, but it should still be above males at 40 ngl, they can get a beta any age :feelsgah:
 
eduardkoopman

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King_ said:
Lol how did he get any of this data? Or is he just making an assertion. Last graph seems pretty legit, but it should still be above males at 40 ngl, they can get a beta any age :feelsgah:
if a man draws graph, about the "romantic marketplace".

He should make 2 praphs, imo.

* 1 graph about the value, in the: hookup/one night stand/random sex/uncommited sex/fwb/fuck buddies field
and
* 1 graph for commited, exclusive, monogamous LTR type of relationships.

imo, one can't catch both different graphs, all at once in 1 graph.
 
Reckless Turtle

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Need2Ascend said:
"14 – 24 years old: Looks are EVERYTHING. Yes, some romanticism might help complete the fantasy, and Game is definitely a factor, but the priority for arousal is primarily Darwinian. Women will gladly overlook character flaws or a lack of assets in favor of fucking the physical Alpha while she approaches her own sexual apex. For a brilliant study of this take the time to read Dr. Martie Hasselton’s study, Why Muscularity is Sexy."

I mean he just talks about attracting girls, but looks are just everything for anything in your youth. At least he's not delusional like most bookwriters
He then proceeds to cope with a muscularity study.
 
Digital Hitler

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eduardkoopman said:
The TL;DR is:

Men age like fine wine. And women age like milk.
Men gain money and status, and become very attractive to women as an oldcell. And he can go be a provider (aka buxxing) for her.


LOL @ graph from him. Where an average 20 year old dude, has equal SMV as a 54 year old guy.


Also LOL at this math man.
Are they forgetting, most men get fat and uglier in their 30's?

sauce: https://blacklabellogic.com/2016/03/02/exploring-the-sexual-market-value/


***
I like in this grpah. that popped up.
How he is correct. That a woman her peak SMV; will be MASSIVELY higher in vlaue than a man his SMV.
I dunno about the steep decline

sauce: http://www.andychalkley.com.au/books/Girl_Power/OEBPS/content/Chapter20.html
'men age like fine wine' while like 90% of men are balding by 30/40
 
studiocel

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Should have just posted the pdf
 
Lolcel

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Couldnt read but sounds like a redpill mgtow men age like fine wine cope
 
chinpilled

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eduardkoopman said:
The TL;DR is:

Men age like fine wine. And women age like milk.
Men gain money and status, and become very attractive to women as an oldcell. And he can go be a provider (aka buxxing) for her.


LOL @ graph from him. Where an average 20 year old dude, has equal SMV as a 54 year old guy.


Also LOL at this math man.
Are they forgetting, most men get fat and uglier in their 30's?

sauce: https://blacklabellogic.com/2016/03/02/exploring-the-sexual-market-value/


***
I like in this grpah. that popped up.
How he is correct. That a woman her peak SMV; will be MASSIVELY higher in vlaue than a man his SMV.
I dunno about the steep decline

sauce: http://www.andychalkley.com.au/books/Girl_Power/OEBPS/content/Chapter20.html
Rollo is blackpilled he talks about the importance of looks and the concept of “alpha seed and beta need” where women will have sex with hot men who have no money and status when they’re young then seek provisioning for the offspring from the beta.
 
eduardkoopman

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chinpilled said:
Rollo is blackpilled he talks about the importance of looks and the concept of “alpha seed and beta need” where women will have sex with hot men who have no money and status when they’re young then seek provisioning for the offspring from the beta.
 
eduardkoopman

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randomvanish said:
what a giant cunt arrrrgh i hate him so much
LMao, at Rollo Tomassi argument here.

These women basically say, that they find looks most important factor. And after that other things.
Rollo can't handle it. And adds in the example of a Chad looking man whom has a mental decease and therefore is on iq level of a retarded person. (Which is like 0.01% of Chad's probs).
And that, is his way of debunking of looks being the number 1 thing.

His way of logic in this, is retardation level.
 
Lihito

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Need2Ascend said:
"14 – 24 years old: Looks are EVERYTHING. Yes, some romanticism might help complete the fantasy, and Game is definitely a factor, but the priority for arousal is primarily Darwinian. Women will gladly overlook character flaws or a lack of assets in favor of fucking the physical Alpha while she approaches her own sexual apex. For a brilliant study of this take the time to read Dr. Martie Hasselton’s study, Why Muscularity is Sexy."

I mean he just talks about attracting girls, but looks are just everything for anything in your youth. At least he's not delusional like most bookwriters
Best feeling in The world is when you accept the :blackpill: without anger. I used to be bitter because foids didnt Like me as much as my chad friends but now im looking to looksmax and just party Rape and have a good time:feelsohh::feelsohh::feelsohh::feelsohh::feelsohh:
 
IdiAmin

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lmao this guy just posted a book why don't you post Bible instead
 
Nameless_Sunflower

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That's why I love you thecel @thecel :owo:
 
ezio6

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pm me if u want the pdf version kids
 
Golgo13

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Who hurt you?
 
BigNigga69

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OldVirgin

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what this book is about ? i have downloaded it before for some reason
PingPong @PingPong
 

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