BigJimsWornOutTires
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If I wrote Superman 2025, it would deliberately be boring. I don’t want you to get used to the characters because they will die later. Instead, I will illustrate a parallel reality like they did with The Batman. But the ending of this movie, ugh… would trigger a shitstorm of celebration when fans see Tom Welling in a better suit, but with salt-and-pepper hair.
In 2018, Henry Cavill posted a cryptic message on Instagram about his future as Superman.
We see Cavill raise a toy adaptation of his character before him. Besides the music, By the Beautiful Blue Danube, featured in 2001: A Space Odyssey, more about that later, what else do we hear in the background? A dog barking.
A dog... such as Krypto. Ah, yes, hindsight at max! He revealed that there would be another Superman but with a sidekick, Krypto. So he's still in the game (he's in the background, behind the alternative version). Not only that clue but his T-shirt, "Krypton Lifting Team." A team of Kryptonians consisting of only two; Clark and Kara? (assuming she's part of his universe and has yet to be introduced.) Not much of a team, unless...
The new Superman (David Corenswet) is in an alternate reality. The same for the Batman (Robert Pattinson).
At the end of The Flash, multiple realities manifest as a variety of neon globes. Barry fucked everything up from trying to save his roastie mother. As a consequence, he caused collisions of parallel universes. And let's not forget (Batman and Robin, 1997) George Clooney's cameo at the end. And thus, Flash is lost within the framework of the multiverse. While there, let's hope Mr. Allen doesn't take advantage of this and go on a hunting spree through the public schools. Disturbingly spooky, I know, tell me about it.
www.distractify.com
I believe this new installment will set up the two-part Superverse movie. At the end of Flash, we saw multiple Supermen (Nicolas Cage and CGI Reeves) as well as Supergirl. There were others not shown, including this new one. Additionally, we saw the original Batman and Robin. If I wrote this bitch (more about this later): During Superman 2025, these multiple realities (neon globes) happen as Corenswet and Kryto watch. They fly towards one, simultaneously, Reeves, Slater (1980s Supergirl), Cavill, Tom Welling, and Cage confront this mystery as well. Uh-oh, Reeves/Slater's universe begins colliding with Batman and Robin's. The super-Kryptonians fly to escape. Hurry, Deep Fake Reeves and Kara! Faster! FLY FASTER!
Dammit. Fuck.
Their universes collide and implode, taking Reeves, Slater, Batman, and Robin with them. Wait... something is floating away from the disaster... looks like a piece of blue fabric... oh, snap—Supergirl's decapitated titty. The Supermen wince. Oh, no... Krypto sees it... he supercharges it! Corenswetman screams, "No, Kryto, bad boy!" He doesn't listen. He grabs the titty and violently shakes his head. They continue cringing. He white blurs back to his world.
"Awkward," Cageman says. Cavill raises an eyebrow to him.
"Aren't you like 80 years old?"
"I get that a lot," the canceled-Superman says.
"No, serious, how old are you?" Despite Cavill's pressure, Cageman maintains his cool composure as he runs his hand through his soft, long hair. The other versions distance themselves from him. Ah, yes, he's in a Justice League of his own.
“Hi, fellers, I’m Tom Welling,” Smallville’s Clark inserts. The Supermen each raise an eyebrow. He volunteers personal information, “I was so excited to be hired for these movies, I got drunk and later charged with a DUI.”
“I’m an irresponsible alcoholic and compulsive gambler,” Cageman contributes.
“Yet you’re still alive,” Cavill reminds him of his luck.
They discuss this mystery and find out that creepy Flash is behind it. Together, they agree to kill that little pedophilic faggot once and for all. Ah, yes, the end of Flash, finally!
These DC movies are leading to an epic Superverse, featuring multiple Supermen (yeah, there should be a black one, too.) Multiple Batmen, Flashes, Black Adams, Green Lanterns, and other DC characters as well. There should be a cameo of Michael Rosenbaum's Lex Luthor appearing during the debacle. If I wrote this, he would get together with the new Lex and discuss the multiverse.
I'll cast (Gal Gadot) Wonder Whore into a scene where she's holding a dying elder's hand. It's television's Lynda Carter, the original Wonder Woman!
"You're not much younger than me," Carterman says. Gadot rolls her eyes as if the old lady is seeing things. She adds, "I'm not trying to be mean but looking at your neck crevices, gravity is working you good." She dies.
Toss in an evil Superman—an alternative Cavill from Ben Affleck's vision in Batman v Superman/Justice League. So in that Clark Kent's universe, he loses his "Muh she my world" to Lex Luthor's goons. He goes supershit crazy! He faces off with Doomsday but finds a truce and fist bumps. Not much later, Steppenwolf arrives, and they high five one another. He reminds the man in steel, “Darkseid is coming.” Flash sees the fellowship and blurs to Bruce Wayne.
"Yo, check it," Barry says to Bruce, who was just leaving the Wayne Enterprise building. "Mister Steel and Doomsday teamed up with some dude called Stepphendog."
Bruce observes the pedestrians around him as he Bat-ponders. Flash is distracted by two school girls—a tall redhead and a short blonde. Bruce sees them as well. Suddenly, the blonde is arched over and bottomless and her friend is on her knees, her breasts are exposed. There is a white substance dangling from her chin. The blonde grabs her crotch. She screams an agonizing cry and tremors. Her friend is shocked, her mouth still gaped. Bruce raises an eyebrow and looks at Flash. He's out of breath. Bruce can hear his rapid heartbeat. Barry's sideway glances away from the bat suspicion. Ugh, this sick little fucking asshole. Damn you, Jewish Flash!
"Okay, using your Flashpoint," Bruce said. "Go back in time and tell me to save Lois. Make sure I know that she is the key."
"Done," Flash says. But Bruce sees he hasn't left yet. He questions him. The speedster responds like a smart-ass Gen Zoid, "Bro, I'm fucking Flash. I did it already. Now shut the fuck up about it, you're giving me a headache."
Unfortunately, Bruce Wayne's timeline hadn't changed. Superman still kills Lex and takes over the world with Doomsday and Darkseid. Finally, he confronts military Batman and sends him into the afterlife. Also, he changed his pronouns to super/dick and transgendered Clark into a femboy. He tries reproducing baby supermen with Jimmy Olsen.
Yeah, like two men can reproduce. The fuck out of here, Hollywood.
This is the only way of saving DC Comics and superseding the Marvel Cinematic Universe. There is no other way. I searched the parallel universes myself. THIS IS IT!
MY VERSION: Darkseid's Galactic Doomsday by the Beautiful Blue Danube
In an alternate universe, Doomsday drags a dead Superman up a volcano of Kryptonite lava. He tosses the body into the emerald-blazing abyss. He roars a thunderous cry. The monster flies away at super speed.
Causing havoc across the planet, bodies scattered the streets as cities burned. Wayne's towers are destroyed as Batman crawls along a street. His suit is tattered and half of his mask is ripped off. Doomsday slams into the pavement. Batman flips over and shoots a hail of Kryptonite bullets at him. But it doesn't faze the monster. Ah, yes, the battle with Superman made him even more invincible! He grabs Batman by his ankles and swings him into a building repeatedly while saying, "Die, bitch, die!" Every bone in Bruce's body is shattered. He goes to Bat Fetish Heaven. Something catches the monster's attention from the sky.
Multiple neon globes manifest—Flash's fuck up. A purple sphere is enlarging. A universe is about to smash into Doomsday's Earth. He flies to space. He hollers as energy manifests around him. He punches toward the incoming universe but has no effect. A tiny light flashed in front of him. The light magnifies into a fleet of ships. Darkseid has arrived. He picked someone of interest up on his way to Earth. An elderly lady flies from the mothership—Granny Goodness. Her eyes are welled with tears. She hovers to Doomsday. "My pride and joy," she says and touches his grotesque face. The monster swaps at her, but she's of energy. His hand goes through her. Granny screams a powerful spell, so powerful, it consumes her. A ball of fire shoots into Doomsday. Panic in his eyes as he pulls at his body. Suddenly, he gets bigger... and bigger... he's gigantic! He opens his mouth and swallows the purple universe.
Ah, yes, they will be hurling suns and planets at one another. First time in film history. It's gonna be epic. The army of Supermen, Supergirls, and Black Adams must destroy this monstrous motherfucker along with Darkseid before they destroy our universe.
Cavill, Corenswet, Tom Welling, Cage, Dinklage, Black Adam, Gay Adam, Supergirls, Superwoman, and Uncle Bob (don't ask, but he's super) will catch the planets Doomsday tosses at them and reposition them in order.
After defeating Galactic Doomsday, they'd drag his dead body outside of the universes to THE NOTHING. Suddenly, a new Flash manifests. He tells them, "I can reset time and shit and make it to where... you know... Doomsday doesn't get so big and I'll kill the old cunt and Dark dude and no one dies and shit, cool?"
Tiny Superman (Peter Dinklage) interrupts, "Aren't you Danny Trejo?"
"Yup. Anyway, I'll go back in time and Flash-Boom-Boom Doomsday."
After Flash vanishes, the Supermen head back to their realities when suddenly, giant eyes manifest from the blackness of THE NOTHING. A tiny speck blasts out from under the eyes. It's Boxed Trejo Flash! His arms and legs had been ripped off and so much blood pouring out from his sockets. He's barely alive. He says, "I fucked up. Now Galactic Doomsday is even bigger... Doomsverse." Ah, yes, they will be chucking universes at one another. It's gonna be a big epic bang! To Be Continued.
TLDR: Tom Welling finally wears the suit for more than a minute. His Lex will be the snitch and should appear in the upcoming Superman film. The Corenswet-Superman will be a sacrificial lamb along with that journalist skank, Lois Lane. But she wasn't always a slut. When she was a teenage girl, she was innocent. But one day, a red blur violated her. From that point forward, she went crazy and didn’t care about herself. If she only knew that was Flash, though. After she meets him, she shows him a picture of when she was 15. He tells her, “Be right back.” Quickly, he goes back in time and... ugh. This is so fucked up. Do better, DC Comics!
In 2018, Henry Cavill posted a cryptic message on Instagram about his future as Superman.
We see Cavill raise a toy adaptation of his character before him. Besides the music, By the Beautiful Blue Danube, featured in 2001: A Space Odyssey, more about that later, what else do we hear in the background? A dog barking.
A dog... such as Krypto. Ah, yes, hindsight at max! He revealed that there would be another Superman but with a sidekick, Krypto. So he's still in the game (he's in the background, behind the alternative version). Not only that clue but his T-shirt, "Krypton Lifting Team." A team of Kryptonians consisting of only two; Clark and Kara? (assuming she's part of his universe and has yet to be introduced.) Not much of a team, unless...
The new Superman (David Corenswet) is in an alternate reality. The same for the Batman (Robert Pattinson).
At the end of The Flash, multiple realities manifest as a variety of neon globes. Barry fucked everything up from trying to save his roastie mother. As a consequence, he caused collisions of parallel universes. And let's not forget (Batman and Robin, 1997) George Clooney's cameo at the end. And thus, Flash is lost within the framework of the multiverse. While there, let's hope Mr. Allen doesn't take advantage of this and go on a hunting spree through the public schools. Disturbingly spooky, I know, tell me about it.
Ezra Miller Allegedly Groomed a Minor With Violent and "Cult-Like" Behavior
Ezra Miller continues to make headlines, this time for allegedly grooming a 12-year-old girl when they were 23. Here's everything we know.
I believe this new installment will set up the two-part Superverse movie. At the end of Flash, we saw multiple Supermen (Nicolas Cage and CGI Reeves) as well as Supergirl. There were others not shown, including this new one. Additionally, we saw the original Batman and Robin. If I wrote this bitch (more about this later): During Superman 2025, these multiple realities (neon globes) happen as Corenswet and Kryto watch. They fly towards one, simultaneously, Reeves, Slater (1980s Supergirl), Cavill, Tom Welling, and Cage confront this mystery as well. Uh-oh, Reeves/Slater's universe begins colliding with Batman and Robin's. The super-Kryptonians fly to escape. Hurry, Deep Fake Reeves and Kara! Faster! FLY FASTER!
Dammit. Fuck.
Their universes collide and implode, taking Reeves, Slater, Batman, and Robin with them. Wait... something is floating away from the disaster... looks like a piece of blue fabric... oh, snap—Supergirl's decapitated titty. The Supermen wince. Oh, no... Krypto sees it... he supercharges it! Corenswetman screams, "No, Kryto, bad boy!" He doesn't listen. He grabs the titty and violently shakes his head. They continue cringing. He white blurs back to his world.
"Awkward," Cageman says. Cavill raises an eyebrow to him.
"Aren't you like 80 years old?"
"I get that a lot," the canceled-Superman says.
"No, serious, how old are you?" Despite Cavill's pressure, Cageman maintains his cool composure as he runs his hand through his soft, long hair. The other versions distance themselves from him. Ah, yes, he's in a Justice League of his own.
“Hi, fellers, I’m Tom Welling,” Smallville’s Clark inserts. The Supermen each raise an eyebrow. He volunteers personal information, “I was so excited to be hired for these movies, I got drunk and later charged with a DUI.”
“I’m an irresponsible alcoholic and compulsive gambler,” Cageman contributes.
“Yet you’re still alive,” Cavill reminds him of his luck.
They discuss this mystery and find out that creepy Flash is behind it. Together, they agree to kill that little pedophilic faggot once and for all. Ah, yes, the end of Flash, finally!
These DC movies are leading to an epic Superverse, featuring multiple Supermen (yeah, there should be a black one, too.) Multiple Batmen, Flashes, Black Adams, Green Lanterns, and other DC characters as well. There should be a cameo of Michael Rosenbaum's Lex Luthor appearing during the debacle. If I wrote this, he would get together with the new Lex and discuss the multiverse.
I'll cast (Gal Gadot) Wonder Whore into a scene where she's holding a dying elder's hand. It's television's Lynda Carter, the original Wonder Woman!
"You're not much younger than me," Carterman says. Gadot rolls her eyes as if the old lady is seeing things. She adds, "I'm not trying to be mean but looking at your neck crevices, gravity is working you good." She dies.
Toss in an evil Superman—an alternative Cavill from Ben Affleck's vision in Batman v Superman/Justice League. So in that Clark Kent's universe, he loses his "Muh she my world" to Lex Luthor's goons. He goes supershit crazy! He faces off with Doomsday but finds a truce and fist bumps. Not much later, Steppenwolf arrives, and they high five one another. He reminds the man in steel, “Darkseid is coming.” Flash sees the fellowship and blurs to Bruce Wayne.
"Yo, check it," Barry says to Bruce, who was just leaving the Wayne Enterprise building. "Mister Steel and Doomsday teamed up with some dude called Stepphendog."
Bruce observes the pedestrians around him as he Bat-ponders. Flash is distracted by two school girls—a tall redhead and a short blonde. Bruce sees them as well. Suddenly, the blonde is arched over and bottomless and her friend is on her knees, her breasts are exposed. There is a white substance dangling from her chin. The blonde grabs her crotch. She screams an agonizing cry and tremors. Her friend is shocked, her mouth still gaped. Bruce raises an eyebrow and looks at Flash. He's out of breath. Bruce can hear his rapid heartbeat. Barry's sideway glances away from the bat suspicion. Ugh, this sick little fucking asshole. Damn you, Jewish Flash!
"Okay, using your Flashpoint," Bruce said. "Go back in time and tell me to save Lois. Make sure I know that she is the key."
"Done," Flash says. But Bruce sees he hasn't left yet. He questions him. The speedster responds like a smart-ass Gen Zoid, "Bro, I'm fucking Flash. I did it already. Now shut the fuck up about it, you're giving me a headache."
Unfortunately, Bruce Wayne's timeline hadn't changed. Superman still kills Lex and takes over the world with Doomsday and Darkseid. Finally, he confronts military Batman and sends him into the afterlife. Also, he changed his pronouns to super/dick and transgendered Clark into a femboy. He tries reproducing baby supermen with Jimmy Olsen.
Yeah, like two men can reproduce. The fuck out of here, Hollywood.
This is the only way of saving DC Comics and superseding the Marvel Cinematic Universe. There is no other way. I searched the parallel universes myself. THIS IS IT!
MY VERSION: Darkseid's Galactic Doomsday by the Beautiful Blue Danube
In an alternate universe, Doomsday drags a dead Superman up a volcano of Kryptonite lava. He tosses the body into the emerald-blazing abyss. He roars a thunderous cry. The monster flies away at super speed.
Causing havoc across the planet, bodies scattered the streets as cities burned. Wayne's towers are destroyed as Batman crawls along a street. His suit is tattered and half of his mask is ripped off. Doomsday slams into the pavement. Batman flips over and shoots a hail of Kryptonite bullets at him. But it doesn't faze the monster. Ah, yes, the battle with Superman made him even more invincible! He grabs Batman by his ankles and swings him into a building repeatedly while saying, "Die, bitch, die!" Every bone in Bruce's body is shattered. He goes to Bat Fetish Heaven. Something catches the monster's attention from the sky.
Multiple neon globes manifest—Flash's fuck up. A purple sphere is enlarging. A universe is about to smash into Doomsday's Earth. He flies to space. He hollers as energy manifests around him. He punches toward the incoming universe but has no effect. A tiny light flashed in front of him. The light magnifies into a fleet of ships. Darkseid has arrived. He picked someone of interest up on his way to Earth. An elderly lady flies from the mothership—Granny Goodness. Her eyes are welled with tears. She hovers to Doomsday. "My pride and joy," she says and touches his grotesque face. The monster swaps at her, but she's of energy. His hand goes through her. Granny screams a powerful spell, so powerful, it consumes her. A ball of fire shoots into Doomsday. Panic in his eyes as he pulls at his body. Suddenly, he gets bigger... and bigger... he's gigantic! He opens his mouth and swallows the purple universe.
Ah, yes, they will be hurling suns and planets at one another. First time in film history. It's gonna be epic. The army of Supermen, Supergirls, and Black Adams must destroy this monstrous motherfucker along with Darkseid before they destroy our universe.
Cavill, Corenswet, Tom Welling, Cage, Dinklage, Black Adam, Gay Adam, Supergirls, Superwoman, and Uncle Bob (don't ask, but he's super) will catch the planets Doomsday tosses at them and reposition them in order.
After defeating Galactic Doomsday, they'd drag his dead body outside of the universes to THE NOTHING. Suddenly, a new Flash manifests. He tells them, "I can reset time and shit and make it to where... you know... Doomsday doesn't get so big and I'll kill the old cunt and Dark dude and no one dies and shit, cool?"
Tiny Superman (Peter Dinklage) interrupts, "Aren't you Danny Trejo?"
"Yup. Anyway, I'll go back in time and Flash-Boom-Boom Doomsday."
After Flash vanishes, the Supermen head back to their realities when suddenly, giant eyes manifest from the blackness of THE NOTHING. A tiny speck blasts out from under the eyes. It's Boxed Trejo Flash! His arms and legs had been ripped off and so much blood pouring out from his sockets. He's barely alive. He says, "I fucked up. Now Galactic Doomsday is even bigger... Doomsverse." Ah, yes, they will be chucking universes at one another. It's gonna be a big epic bang! To Be Continued.
TLDR: Tom Welling finally wears the suit for more than a minute. His Lex will be the snitch and should appear in the upcoming Superman film. The Corenswet-Superman will be a sacrificial lamb along with that journalist skank, Lois Lane. But she wasn't always a slut. When she was a teenage girl, she was innocent. But one day, a red blur violated her. From that point forward, she went crazy and didn’t care about herself. If she only knew that was Flash, though. After she meets him, she shows him a picture of when she was 15. He tells her, “Be right back.” Quickly, he goes back in time and... ugh. This is so fucked up. Do better, DC Comics!
