D
Deleted member 25283
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So I was thinking about the process that makes young men isolated and unable to form any new connections- for jobs, relationships, and other opportunities. Yes, part of it is that every relationship is transactional in nature, and you won't get far if you don't have a way to advertise that you have some value to that other person.
There's something deeper though when you don't even have the tools to initiate and start a normal conversation. It's boring and lame to talk about so much basic shit, sure, but part of that rationalization is just cope when you know deep down that people who do this know that all the bullshit is just a ritual to form these useful connections. Even with women it's basically a bunch of bullshit you have to proceed through while she evaluates the possible exchange of value. The tools to go through the motions seemlessly like this and get down to business seem to come from practice, and this practice comes from a habit of pro social behavior that starts early and stays strong. The longer you stay on this right track the easier it is to get down to business and not be left guessing if it's just you and buying into the red pill shit etc.
Especially in early development, habits form out of feedback. First from your family, if you're lucky enough for that to be positive it's a strong start. Next is from other kids from the neighborhood, which is part genetics(even kids recognize ugly/abnormal) and part environment, which your parents had some influence over. As you get older things get more competitive and violent as sex comes into the picture and already a lack of connections will make it harder to be competitive. Honestly if you slip at this point, and you don't have much earlier reinforcement to be pro-social to fall back on, it's most likely just gonna keep going downhill and you shut down more and more around other people.
I know this is basically a water post but I felt like I had to write down this thought when it occurred. Without positive feedback for being pro social growing up you eventually just shut down and fall behind irretrievably in your ability to form connections. And then you are 30 sounding like a blithering idiot whenever you want to try having an actual conversation instead of something about work or a transaction at the store. And nobody cares they see you as a lost cause honestly.
There's something deeper though when you don't even have the tools to initiate and start a normal conversation. It's boring and lame to talk about so much basic shit, sure, but part of that rationalization is just cope when you know deep down that people who do this know that all the bullshit is just a ritual to form these useful connections. Even with women it's basically a bunch of bullshit you have to proceed through while she evaluates the possible exchange of value. The tools to go through the motions seemlessly like this and get down to business seem to come from practice, and this practice comes from a habit of pro social behavior that starts early and stays strong. The longer you stay on this right track the easier it is to get down to business and not be left guessing if it's just you and buying into the red pill shit etc.
Especially in early development, habits form out of feedback. First from your family, if you're lucky enough for that to be positive it's a strong start. Next is from other kids from the neighborhood, which is part genetics(even kids recognize ugly/abnormal) and part environment, which your parents had some influence over. As you get older things get more competitive and violent as sex comes into the picture and already a lack of connections will make it harder to be competitive. Honestly if you slip at this point, and you don't have much earlier reinforcement to be pro-social to fall back on, it's most likely just gonna keep going downhill and you shut down more and more around other people.
I know this is basically a water post but I felt like I had to write down this thought when it occurred. Without positive feedback for being pro social growing up you eventually just shut down and fall behind irretrievably in your ability to form connections. And then you are 30 sounding like a blithering idiot whenever you want to try having an actual conversation instead of something about work or a transaction at the store. And nobody cares they see you as a lost cause honestly.
