BigJimsWornOutTires
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In 2008, the highly anticipated working production of Zombieland launched. Abigail Breslin, nascent to Hollywood’s perversion and pedophilia atmosphere, was selected to play Little Rock. Working alongside her are Emma Stone, Tel Aviv’s Jesse Eisenberg, Bill Murray, and Texas trash Woody Harrelson.
The first day of filming was awkward among the five cast members. And this was to be expected when you’re your own weirdo. The youngest of the cast didn’t mingle much, but her eyes stayed glued on one particular actor. Emma, on the other hand, was very social. So social, on the first day, she disappeared into the men’s restroom with Bill Murrey. Though a studio member who wishes to stay anonymous claimed he saw Bill with his hand around the back of her neck as he pushed her into the bathroom.
For the next six months, Abigail became fixated on the older idol. Ugh, she knew so much about Woody. Growing up, her parents were big time Cheers fans. She watched his movies, too. Above her bed on the ceiling was a poster of him. This was the one:
The day she finally met him, oh lordy georgie... she felt a strange sensation throughout her body. And when he would notice her, she would think about the nights lying in her bed.
As the actors pretended to survive a zombie apocalypse, Abigail flirted with the older gent. The other costars were concerned but didn’t say anything because of Hollywood’s Rule #11: Don’t interfere, let nature run its course.
Though not the wisest of the manosphere, Woody had no idea the kid was dropping buckets in her drawers. Though the feller was 47 years old. She was 12. How the fuck would that work anyway? However, the other actress was in his league.
Emma Stone was twenty years Woody’s junior. She fucked anything with a ready-to-explode cock. So she offered him backshots quite a few times. Once, during wardrobe changing, she surprised him in her panties and bra. Pulling the thin, red fabric to the side of her vagina, she said to him, “I got a place for your woody.”
Harrelson raised an eyebrow at the conspicuous bristling clam. He replied, “I heard when a vagina is puffy like that, it’s been million man marched through.”
“Excuse me?” Emma said as she rubbed her clit with her other fingers. “Are you saying I’m a whore?”
Shaking his head, Woody ignored the obvious.
“Bill and Jesse liked it,” she said. Then she added, “Bill calls it his urinal.”
“Just leave.”
“Faggot!” she screamed and exited the room.
At the end of production in December 2008, the child actress finally made a move. While Woody shoved his foot into a boot, she approached. “I can be like Emma,” said Abigail. He looked up and saw her unbuttoning her jeans, which startled him.
“Please don’t do that, little girl,” he said to her hands. “Besides, to reach Emma’s prolapsed stage, you would need to fuck a thousand men.”
“Eww!” she reacted and pressed her buttons back. “But why can’t it be just you?”
“Because my heart belongs to another.”
Abigail’s eyebrows knitted, her head slightly jerked back. Woody told her about a woman named Laura and said, “We’re getting married this month.”
Her eyes welled with tears as she ran out of his trailer. He wouldn’t talk to her again for a decade.
February 2019
Woody, now 57 years old, changes into his wardrobe for Zombieland 2. His trailer door opened as loud thumps were felt from under his boots. A chunky woman in a long tee stepped to him. His eyebrows raised to her bare, sausage legs and shirt lifting to expose a fat, bald 22-year-old vagina.
While rubbing her clit that was buried under two folds of skin, Abigail said to Woody, “It wasn’t a thousand men, but a hundred. Is that enough for a double tap?”
Harrelson abruptly stood while shouting, “This is the last movie I’m doing! I’m done with you fucking people!”
Her mouth gaped, her eyes widened, and her pulse skyrocketed. She inquired, “Are you still married or something?”
“Get the fuck out!”
This is her today in 2026:
Look what you did, Woody. You crushed this poor girl’s heart to the point of obesity. Shame on you, you fucking white trash cold-hearted motherfucker!
The first day of filming was awkward among the five cast members. And this was to be expected when you’re your own weirdo. The youngest of the cast didn’t mingle much, but her eyes stayed glued on one particular actor. Emma, on the other hand, was very social. So social, on the first day, she disappeared into the men’s restroom with Bill Murrey. Though a studio member who wishes to stay anonymous claimed he saw Bill with his hand around the back of her neck as he pushed her into the bathroom.
For the next six months, Abigail became fixated on the older idol. Ugh, she knew so much about Woody. Growing up, her parents were big time Cheers fans. She watched his movies, too. Above her bed on the ceiling was a poster of him. This was the one:
The day she finally met him, oh lordy georgie... she felt a strange sensation throughout her body. And when he would notice her, she would think about the nights lying in her bed.
As the actors pretended to survive a zombie apocalypse, Abigail flirted with the older gent. The other costars were concerned but didn’t say anything because of Hollywood’s Rule #11: Don’t interfere, let nature run its course.
Though not the wisest of the manosphere, Woody had no idea the kid was dropping buckets in her drawers. Though the feller was 47 years old. She was 12. How the fuck would that work anyway? However, the other actress was in his league.
Emma Stone was twenty years Woody’s junior. She fucked anything with a ready-to-explode cock. So she offered him backshots quite a few times. Once, during wardrobe changing, she surprised him in her panties and bra. Pulling the thin, red fabric to the side of her vagina, she said to him, “I got a place for your woody.”
Harrelson raised an eyebrow at the conspicuous bristling clam. He replied, “I heard when a vagina is puffy like that, it’s been million man marched through.”
“Excuse me?” Emma said as she rubbed her clit with her other fingers. “Are you saying I’m a whore?”
Shaking his head, Woody ignored the obvious.
“Bill and Jesse liked it,” she said. Then she added, “Bill calls it his urinal.”
“Just leave.”
“Faggot!” she screamed and exited the room.
At the end of production in December 2008, the child actress finally made a move. While Woody shoved his foot into a boot, she approached. “I can be like Emma,” said Abigail. He looked up and saw her unbuttoning her jeans, which startled him.
“Please don’t do that, little girl,” he said to her hands. “Besides, to reach Emma’s prolapsed stage, you would need to fuck a thousand men.”
“Eww!” she reacted and pressed her buttons back. “But why can’t it be just you?”
“Because my heart belongs to another.”
Abigail’s eyebrows knitted, her head slightly jerked back. Woody told her about a woman named Laura and said, “We’re getting married this month.”
Her eyes welled with tears as she ran out of his trailer. He wouldn’t talk to her again for a decade.
February 2019
Woody, now 57 years old, changes into his wardrobe for Zombieland 2. His trailer door opened as loud thumps were felt from under his boots. A chunky woman in a long tee stepped to him. His eyebrows raised to her bare, sausage legs and shirt lifting to expose a fat, bald 22-year-old vagina.
While rubbing her clit that was buried under two folds of skin, Abigail said to Woody, “It wasn’t a thousand men, but a hundred. Is that enough for a double tap?”
Harrelson abruptly stood while shouting, “This is the last movie I’m doing! I’m done with you fucking people!”
Her mouth gaped, her eyes widened, and her pulse skyrocketed. She inquired, “Are you still married or something?”
“Get the fuck out!”
This is her today in 2026:
Look what you did, Woody. You crushed this poor girl’s heart to the point of obesity. Shame on you, you fucking white trash cold-hearted motherfucker!
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