Mongrelcel
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It's lack of status
But let me elaborate, because it's not so simple.
What is status? We could define status as high position in certain dominance hierarchy.
We can split that sentence into two parts: high position, and dominance hierarchy. Chances are, you fucked up both.
I've noticed, that any time in my life that I had been motivated, and actually wanted to achieve something, it was something that promised validation. It doesn't matter what it was, the point is that I was doing things just to get acknowledged. Validated. I wanted to impress people - I didn't actually give a fuck about what I was doing that much - and over time, I became more interested in the activity itself as I was successful.
I think everyone does it - "Don't do things for other people" is the biggest pile of cope shit ever. Just think back about the times when you were really motivated to do something - I'm sure that with enough introspection you will realize that "other people" had a lot to do with your motivation.
Let's say we have a group of gym buddies who go to the gym together, and on the other hand we have a lone wolf incel. Which one of these two examples do you think is going to be more motivated? Obviously the group. They have a hierarchy, hierarchy based on results from the gym, it's a no brainer that they are going to compete, and try to get validation from each other.
But their little group is not the only hierarchy they are trying to climb - the general population counts as well. Getting a good physique = validation from random people. Higher position. This is the group the incel has, but obviously it's going to get harder to get validation from random women than from women in your friend circle for example.
What happens when you are dead last in some hierarchy and don't have much hope of it changing? You will lose motivation to try, you will be depressed and you will eventually leave the hierarchy. This is what happens to incels for example - don't have any hopes of attaining any position (and therefore validation), so they give up.
Chances are, you've had opportunities to join some group, and work your way into a decent position in there, and enjoy the life of a normal human being - but for some reason you failed. You either sucked at or didn't enjoy that activity, or were too autistic, or simply quit too early - I know it happened to me. Had million chances to redeem myself - but fucked all of them up. (in this part of your life things like looks, your natural athletic ability or charisma play a huge part)
Being in the last position is no fun.
Or you have joined the wrong group - that's very common. Especially now with the advent of videogames, internet and shit. I bet most of the people with problems have been "gamers", what does "being a gamer" even mean? You joined a group with 0 women in it where the status was based on something retarded and not real like a rank in a video game. Something that does not translate to other parts of life (the reason why you'd need to even have status somewhere are literally just women). You didn't know any better, and gaining status in a group of virgins felt just the same - the fact that videogames are addicting and designed for you to feel fake accomplishment certainly doesn't help. Then after years when you start being interested in women you realize you are a loser to them, and end up an incel.
You literally were just unlucky it was something stupid that caught your attention, and not something normal people do.
Interesting thing is that this forum is also such a group - wanting to "looksmax", to slay, to be good looking - it's all effort to acquire higher status on this forum. Normally this wouldn't have effect on people, but when you replace all your social interactions (like many here) with the forum, it suddenly becomes the main hierarchy for you to climb.
So, being the last with no chances to improve = depression.
But not having any group at all also means depression. You will feel useless, unmotivated to do literally anything, and totally lost. Humans were not meant to live in total isolation. You were meant to be a part of a group, so it just makes sense that when you lose your group you will be lost. The group serves as a context to your life.
Why do kids who finish HS feel lost? They just lost their group/hierarchy. The exact same thing happens when people finish uni - but worse, since now all those groups, all their life structure falls apart - but they are just fine once they join some other group a bit later.
Same happens with soldiers who come home - suddenly the group they had a position in disappears, and they are thrown into a situation where they have no status, and little chances of getting it - hence, the suicides.
The way you can actually fix your life is to find a group where you can gain that status. Idk how, but without it you will always be depressed and without purpose (unless you're a based sigma male
).
Considering you're around 20, and people have been building up their respective groups since literal childhood, you're a bit behind if I say so myself.
TDLR:
Everything you do is because of the need to get validation. Without others your life has no context.
To get validation you need to be a part of a group and not be at the bottom.
Being at the bottom = depression.
Having no group = depression, no purpose.
To fix your life you need to find such a group.
@AsGoodAsItGets @Edgar @TsarTsar444 @lilhorizontal32 @Syobevoli @Amnesia
But let me elaborate, because it's not so simple.
What is status? We could define status as high position in certain dominance hierarchy.
We can split that sentence into two parts: high position, and dominance hierarchy. Chances are, you fucked up both.
I've noticed, that any time in my life that I had been motivated, and actually wanted to achieve something, it was something that promised validation. It doesn't matter what it was, the point is that I was doing things just to get acknowledged. Validated. I wanted to impress people - I didn't actually give a fuck about what I was doing that much - and over time, I became more interested in the activity itself as I was successful.
I think everyone does it - "Don't do things for other people" is the biggest pile of cope shit ever. Just think back about the times when you were really motivated to do something - I'm sure that with enough introspection you will realize that "other people" had a lot to do with your motivation.
Let's say we have a group of gym buddies who go to the gym together, and on the other hand we have a lone wolf incel. Which one of these two examples do you think is going to be more motivated? Obviously the group. They have a hierarchy, hierarchy based on results from the gym, it's a no brainer that they are going to compete, and try to get validation from each other.
But their little group is not the only hierarchy they are trying to climb - the general population counts as well. Getting a good physique = validation from random people. Higher position. This is the group the incel has, but obviously it's going to get harder to get validation from random women than from women in your friend circle for example.
What happens when you are dead last in some hierarchy and don't have much hope of it changing? You will lose motivation to try, you will be depressed and you will eventually leave the hierarchy. This is what happens to incels for example - don't have any hopes of attaining any position (and therefore validation), so they give up.
Chances are, you've had opportunities to join some group, and work your way into a decent position in there, and enjoy the life of a normal human being - but for some reason you failed. You either sucked at or didn't enjoy that activity, or were too autistic, or simply quit too early - I know it happened to me. Had million chances to redeem myself - but fucked all of them up. (in this part of your life things like looks, your natural athletic ability or charisma play a huge part)
Being in the last position is no fun.
Or you have joined the wrong group - that's very common. Especially now with the advent of videogames, internet and shit. I bet most of the people with problems have been "gamers", what does "being a gamer" even mean? You joined a group with 0 women in it where the status was based on something retarded and not real like a rank in a video game. Something that does not translate to other parts of life (the reason why you'd need to even have status somewhere are literally just women). You didn't know any better, and gaining status in a group of virgins felt just the same - the fact that videogames are addicting and designed for you to feel fake accomplishment certainly doesn't help. Then after years when you start being interested in women you realize you are a loser to them, and end up an incel.
You literally were just unlucky it was something stupid that caught your attention, and not something normal people do.
Interesting thing is that this forum is also such a group - wanting to "looksmax", to slay, to be good looking - it's all effort to acquire higher status on this forum. Normally this wouldn't have effect on people, but when you replace all your social interactions (like many here) with the forum, it suddenly becomes the main hierarchy for you to climb.
So, being the last with no chances to improve = depression.
But not having any group at all also means depression. You will feel useless, unmotivated to do literally anything, and totally lost. Humans were not meant to live in total isolation. You were meant to be a part of a group, so it just makes sense that when you lose your group you will be lost. The group serves as a context to your life.
Why do kids who finish HS feel lost? They just lost their group/hierarchy. The exact same thing happens when people finish uni - but worse, since now all those groups, all their life structure falls apart - but they are just fine once they join some other group a bit later.
Same happens with soldiers who come home - suddenly the group they had a position in disappears, and they are thrown into a situation where they have no status, and little chances of getting it - hence, the suicides.
The way you can actually fix your life is to find a group where you can gain that status. Idk how, but without it you will always be depressed and without purpose (unless you're a based sigma male
).Considering you're around 20, and people have been building up their respective groups since literal childhood, you're a bit behind if I say so myself.
TDLR:
Everything you do is because of the need to get validation. Without others your life has no context.
To get validation you need to be a part of a group and not be at the bottom.
Being at the bottom = depression.
Having no group = depression, no purpose.
To fix your life you need to find such a group.
@AsGoodAsItGets @Edgar @TsarTsar444 @lilhorizontal32 @Syobevoli @Amnesia
