This is what led my friends into bullying me into almost killing myself

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Cydren

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This is a continuation of another thread i posted a few days ago. A Lot of people were wondering what led to them bullying me the way they did. This is what happened:

So in April a girl rejected me, we were a group of friends who hung out and me and this girl had mutual friends so she came along as well, we had a date (at least i thought it was) and i repeatedly made hints to this girl about it being a date but i still wasn't sure she was aware of the fact that it was a date. So a friend offered to go on a walk with her and ask her if she thought it was a date and she said no in a funny voice.



I took this EXTREMELY personally because i thought this was a way of making fun of me so i cut her off, and i never thought about talking to her about it and what her intentions were because i thought i wouldn't get an honest answer.



I announced that i had blocked her in a groupchat we had with the whole friendgroup and i know that it wasn't the smartest thing to do but i needed to vent to people.



Most of them did not like what i did and saw me as a mean and bitchy person for doing this, and they thought that her intention was something else, while i think i was just doing what was best in that situation since i couldn't talk to her (at least i think so).



They even saw me as defensive because i kept trying to explain why i did what i did in a desperate effort to make them less mad at me.



Later i found out that her intention wasn't to make fun of me but i couldn't have asked her about since i thought she would lie to me. But the damage was already done so i couldn't apologize.



And this led to the bullying that i have now endured for several months.



The problem is i have thought about taking my own life because of this because this is a reocurring theme in my life (that i make poor and impulsive decisions that lead to me being a social outcast). And i feel like it's not going to stop because it has followed me my whole life. But i've never tried to improve before.



But i do have a bit of autism, and anxiety so i haven't really hung out with people much at all because of these reasons.

This is what "justified" the bullying.
 

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