Arzenic
𝘌𝘈 𝘝𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘶𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘍𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2025
- Posts
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Well… how does a one start a story like this?
Let’s just start from the beginning.
Chapter 1 - before conciousness
I was always so called ”angel” JFL that’s wha they all say. Jokes aside, the priest said i was the most emphatic child he had seen so far.
Ironic JFL.
Chapter 2 - pre-school
I got a few friends, but i was deffinetly a bit not that anybody cared at that age.
I remember playing with couple guys with some toys. One of them had built a big tower and i accidentally knocked it down, bruh.
He has some anger issues (JFL 6y/o with anger issues)
So he started to run behind me trying to beat me up, i was actually terrified. I never flet threatned before. I ran, no adult cared to glance at what was happening.
In the end i ran to a corner, which i just kneeled down in there as a ball kinda, trying to cover the back of my head.
And i mean the punches, they didin’t hurt, actually i didin’t really even feel them
but i was still in a shock.
He chased and beat me up multiple times during that year.
Chapter 2 - School begins
I started school and my impulsive traits were starting to pop. I was literally brought to the principals office in the first fucking day of school.
Anyways i kept being an absolute troll in the class and when someone was annoying me i beat them up.
I was very violent during my first 3 years.
I was actually bulluying some kids. There was this one very nice kid, he was weird, yes.
But he was wholesome ngl, he always greeted everyone and was positive.
Everyone just thought that he was annoying and weird, so i remember bashing his head into ice…
I still have deep regrets about those times
After 3 years of school, around 50 principals visits, 300+ hours of detention. The teachers had enough, and my parents.
They put me with in the same fucking class as 6th graders were, and my ass was in the 3rd grade
I had nobody to bully or be violent to, so i just sticked in being impulsive.
Chapter 3 - Beginning of the end
After i finished the 3rd grade within the 6th graders, i was moved to a normal class with 4th graders.
At this point i was starting to get depression due to all the problems in my home. Parents constantly arguing and never hearing anything positive. All people could say is how bad i’m. And how terrible shit i do. Never any compliments. (Deserves asf, kinda?)
i locked down in my room basicly, i came to home after school and was playing until 4am, leaving me with 3 hours of sleep.
This was continuing for stleast half a year consistenly.
I was gaining alot of weight and i was starting to get bullied for it, also i lost the last respect i had JFL. Girls outright said ”eww you’re a weirdo” which yeah, was shitty but it was just casual for me atp.
I remember when i joined a fortnite party with my friends that had my oneitis, she just fucking said ”I don’t really wanna play with you, since yk, i don’t like you. You’re weird”
Holy shit that broke me, my bitchass just replied ”yeah, yeah i understand”. Fucking fuck that absolutely broke me.
my hygiene was terrible too, i probably showered 2-3 times a week, when i had to. Sometimes i went an entire week without brushing my teeths
I didin’t have any fuel to take care of myself.
All of this resulted in my biggest insecurity, yellow teeths
.
literally i can’t smile, if i smile all i can think of is (does she think i’m a weirdo or disgusting)
(dc if i some guy thinks that of me, but still hate smiling)
No TL;DR since this is just venting
Sorry for the terribly formatted thread
Let’s just start from the beginning.
Chapter 1 - before conciousness
I was always so called ”angel” JFL that’s wha they all say. Jokes aside, the priest said i was the most emphatic child he had seen so far.
Ironic JFL.
Chapter 2 - pre-school
I got a few friends, but i was deffinetly a bit not that anybody cared at that age.
I remember playing with couple guys with some toys. One of them had built a big tower and i accidentally knocked it down, bruh.
He has some anger issues (JFL 6y/o with anger issues)
So he started to run behind me trying to beat me up, i was actually terrified. I never flet threatned before. I ran, no adult cared to glance at what was happening.
In the end i ran to a corner, which i just kneeled down in there as a ball kinda, trying to cover the back of my head.
And i mean the punches, they didin’t hurt, actually i didin’t really even feel them
but i was still in a shock.
He chased and beat me up multiple times during that year.
Chapter 2 - School begins
I started school and my impulsive traits were starting to pop. I was literally brought to the principals office in the first fucking day of school
.Anyways i kept being an absolute troll in the class and when someone was annoying me i beat them up.
I was very violent during my first 3 years.
I was actually bulluying some kids. There was this one very nice kid, he was weird, yes.
But he was wholesome ngl, he always greeted everyone and was positive.
Everyone just thought that he was annoying and weird, so i remember bashing his head into ice…
I still have deep regrets about those times
After 3 years of school, around 50 principals visits, 300+ hours of detention. The teachers had enough, and my parents.
They put me with in the same fucking class as 6th graders were, and my ass was in the 3rd grade
I had nobody to bully or be violent to, so i just sticked in being impulsive.
Chapter 3 - Beginning of the end
After i finished the 3rd grade within the 6th graders, i was moved to a normal class with 4th graders.
At this point i was starting to get depression due to all the problems in my home. Parents constantly arguing and never hearing anything positive. All people could say is how bad i’m. And how terrible shit i do. Never any compliments. (Deserves asf, kinda?)
i locked down in my room basicly, i came to home after school and was playing until 4am, leaving me with 3 hours of sleep.
This was continuing for stleast half a year consistenly.
I was gaining alot of weight and i was starting to get bullied for it, also i lost the last respect i had JFL. Girls outright said ”eww you’re a weirdo” which yeah, was shitty but it was just casual for me atp.
I remember when i joined a fortnite party with my friends that had my oneitis, she just fucking said ”I don’t really wanna play with you, since yk, i don’t like you. You’re weird”
Holy shit that broke me, my bitchass just replied ”yeah, yeah i understand”. Fucking fuck that absolutely broke me.
my hygiene was terrible too, i probably showered 2-3 times a week, when i had to. Sometimes i went an entire week without brushing my teeths
I didin’t have any fuel to take care of myself.
All of this resulted in my biggest insecurity, yellow teeths
.
literally i can’t smile, if i smile all i can think of is (does she think i’m a weirdo or disgusting)
(dc if i some guy thinks that of me, but still hate smiling)
No TL;DR since this is just venting
Sorry for the terribly formatted thread
