bassfreak
Diamond
- Joined
- Dec 24, 2018
- Posts
- 1,380
- Reputation
- 1,577
April - ended my toxic relation with my borderline gf
June - got probably best job i ever had
July - meet most fantastic girl in my entire life (i could say wife material)
End of october - lost her and job both at almost same time
2 days later i was at best party of my life for 12h i forgot all my problems (no drugs and alco)
Im ending 2019 alone in home with no job , almost no money , some kind of neurosis and anxiety (dont remember when i sleep 8h without 4 wake up's at night) im stressed 24/7 , last few days was that bad that i ended at cardiologist (heart echo scan) because i was so scary that something is wrong with my heart (blood pressure spikes , arrhythmia , flat breathing etc.) thank God that everything was ok , in 2 days i will do more test but this is probably neurosis based symptoms.
I fucking hate my self not because of my looks , im so fucking high inhib and non NT that i can't stand it anymore it's fucking my life and EVERY relation with girls i think at every single moment what the fuck can i do to act like "normal" people those smooth , natural and confident conversations especially with girls.
I'm literally crying and roaring inside because of helplessness
June - got probably best job i ever had
July - meet most fantastic girl in my entire life (i could say wife material)
End of october - lost her and job both at almost same time
2 days later i was at best party of my life for 12h i forgot all my problems (no drugs and alco)
Im ending 2019 alone in home with no job , almost no money , some kind of neurosis and anxiety (dont remember when i sleep 8h without 4 wake up's at night) im stressed 24/7 , last few days was that bad that i ended at cardiologist (heart echo scan) because i was so scary that something is wrong with my heart (blood pressure spikes , arrhythmia , flat breathing etc.) thank God that everything was ok , in 2 days i will do more test but this is probably neurosis based symptoms.
I fucking hate my self not because of my looks , im so fucking high inhib and non NT that i can't stand it anymore it's fucking my life and EVERY relation with girls i think at every single moment what the fuck can i do to act like "normal" people those smooth , natural and confident conversations especially with girls.
I'm literally crying and roaring inside because of helplessness
