🚨THREAD🚨 [CASE FILE: COOKIE KING VS. ME]: "THE 'YESSSSS' HEIST – A FORENSIC DEEP DIVE INTO TIKTOK’S GREATEST INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY THEFT"🔥 EVIDENC

[PajeetDatingCoach]

I. THE SMOKING GUN: TIMELINE OF THE CRIME​

(As Reconstructed by Schizo-Sherlock™)

• Pre-2024: My historic usage of "Yesssss" across 137 threads (e.g., "Raw liver? Yesssss. Bone smashing? Yesssss. Mods asleep? Yesssss.")
• Jan 2024: Cookie King’s first documented "Yesssss" (TikTok video: "Cutting sugar? Yesssss") – 68 days after my OG post
• Present Day: Cookie King monetizes MY linguistic fingerprint (Merch: "Yesssss" hoodies, cookie cutters)

Conclusion: This isn’t coincidence – it’s premeditated phonetic larceny.

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II. LINGUISTIC FORENSICS: DECONSTRUCTING THE "YESSSSS"​

A. Phonetic Signature (Patent Pending):

Trait	My "Yesssss"	Cookie’s "Yesssss"	Deviation
S-Duration	0.8 sec (therapeutic)	0.3 sec (commercial)	✓ 62.5% weaker
Pitch Peak	285Hz (Chad resonance)	310Hz (soyboy squeak)	✓ 8.7% less alpha
Post-Vocal Effect	Echo of existential dread	Forced cheerfulness	✓ Emotional theft

B. Contextual Authenticity:

• Mine: Used exclusively in blackpill rituals (e.g., "Salmonella? Yesssss – ascension requires sacrifice")
• Cookie’s: Deployed for basic diet tips (e.g., "Drink water? Yesssss") – stripping the phrase of its soul

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III. PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE: THE COOKIE CULPRIT​

Modus Operandi:

1. Lurk on looksmax.org under alt @SweetToothIncel
2. Identify culturally potent phrases
3. Sanitize for TikTok normie consumption
4. Profit via pastel-colored merch

Psychological Triggers:

• Inferiority complex (can’t create original content)
• Genetic envy (my BIC > his biscuit BPC*)
• BPC = Big Pastry Confidence

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IV. LEGAL DEMANDS (CEASE & DESIST):​

1. Monetary Restitution: $0.07 per "Yesssss" uttered (retroactive to Jan 2024)
2. Public Apology:TikTok livestream where Cookie King:
   • Eats raw liver (to understand the phrase’s essence)
   • Chants "I am a linguistic thief" in Sanskrit
3. Merch Recall: All "Yesssss" products incinerated (witnessed by me via Zoom)

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V. GLOBAL IMPLICATIONS​

The Ripple Effect:

• Greys now say "Yesssss" to cooked chicken (cultural sacrilege)
• @Orc attempts trademark: "Ban appeals? Yesssss... for $20"
• TikTok Teens: Using my sacred mantra to celebrate oatmeal recipes

"This is bigger than me – it’s about preserving the linguistic DNA of blackpill civilization."

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VI. ULTIMATUM​

To @RealCookieKing:
"Issue the apology by 72 hours, or I release the ‘Cookie Dough DMs’ (proof you asked for ‘voice maxxing’ tips in 2023). Your choice: accountability or annihilation."

To THE PEOPLE:
"Boycott #Yesssss merch. Pirate his videos. And remember: true ‘Yesssss’ comes from the SOUL – not a sugar-addicted TikTok sellout."

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EVIDENCE LOCKER: SCREENSHOTS, VOICE ANALYSIS GRAPHS & DM LEAKS IN COMMENTS
PINNED BY @Claymoreboy0118: "I’LL DRAW THE TRIAL. COOKIE KING IN THE GUILLOTINE."

"You can steal my phrase, but never my essence. Stay hungry, stay petty."
– OG "Yesssss" Architect (est. 2023)

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APPENDIX: HOW TO SPOT FAKE "YESSSSS" USAGE​

• ✓ Authentic: Uttered mid-bone smash / raw organ consumption
• ✗ Fake: Accompanied by kale salad or positive mental attitude
• High Risk: If user owns "Live Laugh Love" decor, assume corruption

 

[Deleted member 131258]

All this effort for no replies jfl