Deleted member 6403
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TIFU by accidentally molesting a cow
So today, me (11M) and my wife (26F) decided to invade Nicaragua with our new fighter jet that my mum (87M) gave us for Christmas 13 years ago, since I just graduated college and have a bit of spare time. Everything was going swimmingly until my cat (14Cat) decides to jump prematurely over some small village. So instinctively I strap my parachute on and jump out after it, but being that I was in a rush, my pants got stuck on the door, and they ripped off of me. Now here I am naked and flying over a foreign country’s village after my cat. Now cat, being the fucking idiot that it is, forgets to pull it’s chute and hits the ground and explodes (It has 2 lives left don’t worry). Anyway so I pull my chute and am slowly drifting down when I see that I am landing over a Cow Pasture. Now I’m trying to steer clear of them, but the wind is pushing me the opposite way that I want to go, and the next thing I know I’m about to land on a fucking cow. When I land, immediately my penis (11in) slides right into this cow’s ass. Now the cow was a good sport about it and just understood that shit happens. However the little bitch that owns the property got his tits in a twist and started screaming at me for fucking his wife. Personally I think he was just jealous of how big my penis is. So anyway Reddit, AITA?
@TheCowFucker
Edit: Since so many people are asking, yes I am Morgan Freeman, and no I will not be in Ride Along 3.
So today, me (11M) and my wife (26F) decided to invade Nicaragua with our new fighter jet that my mum (87M) gave us for Christmas 13 years ago, since I just graduated college and have a bit of spare time. Everything was going swimmingly until my cat (14Cat) decides to jump prematurely over some small village. So instinctively I strap my parachute on and jump out after it, but being that I was in a rush, my pants got stuck on the door, and they ripped off of me. Now here I am naked and flying over a foreign country’s village after my cat. Now cat, being the fucking idiot that it is, forgets to pull it’s chute and hits the ground and explodes (It has 2 lives left don’t worry). Anyway so I pull my chute and am slowly drifting down when I see that I am landing over a Cow Pasture. Now I’m trying to steer clear of them, but the wind is pushing me the opposite way that I want to go, and the next thing I know I’m about to land on a fucking cow. When I land, immediately my penis (11in) slides right into this cow’s ass. Now the cow was a good sport about it and just understood that shit happens. However the little bitch that owns the property got his tits in a twist and started screaming at me for fucking his wife. Personally I think he was just jealous of how big my penis is. So anyway Reddit, AITA?
@TheCowFucker
Edit: Since so many people are asking, yes I am Morgan Freeman, and no I will not be in Ride Along 3.
