JeanneDArcAlter
Altaic BVLL
- Joined
- Nov 6, 2024
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So, there I am, sitting in front of my computer on a normal day, probably on Reddit. The only thing really different is that I had been eating a ton of junk food, which lead to a ton of shit. So, I'm sitting there and as expected I eventually have to go paint my porcelain brown.
The shit begins like any other shit, but eventually intensifies. Goes from half a log to hershey fountain in a matter of seconds. All kinds of gas bombs are going off and echoing out of the bowl, causing me, or my pathetic inner child, to start laughing uncontrollably. Let me also note that this is the middle of the night, so I'm trying not to wake people up from the sounds of me lol'ing at my exploding anus.
Well, this finally comes to an end, filling me with relief. Should be the last shit of the day and I'll be ready for a peaceful sleep. I begin wiping my ass and after a couple wipes, I notice a strange wet feeling on the back of my hand. I pull it around to investigate and find shit running down my hand. Now, I know I'm a careful wiper, so I turn around to see why there's shit, and it would seem that in the middle of me laughing at my rumbling anus, I managed to give the back of my throne a paint job. I'm appalled. So, I think to myself, quickly clean this up and get my ass cleaned up then when I'm fresh I can clean off my hand.
Well, somehow while cleaning my ass, I managed to forget there was shit running down my hand earlier. I was too busy being happy that this was almost over. I stand up and flush, and I notice in the mirror behind my toilet that I have a booger in my nose, so out of reaction (because, hey its night time who will care if I pick my nose in the bathroom) I pull my hand to my nose to start gold digging. Before I could even comprehend what was happening, the smell of a long hour at the superbowl is infiltrating my nose and despite that I quickly retract my hand, the smell is still there with a little dingleberry hanging from my nose hair. Panic Mode: Engage!
I begin freaking out trying to get the shit off my hands as quick as possible so that I can stop being bombarded with this awful stench crawling up my nose at every waking second. I eventually managed to wash my hands and wipe my nose enough times for the horror to dissipate, but no amount of kleenex could rid myself of the fact that I shit on my own hand and continued to put it up my nose.
tl;dr: I managed to shit on my toilet and hand then proceed to pick my nose with my shitty hand.
The shit begins like any other shit, but eventually intensifies. Goes from half a log to hershey fountain in a matter of seconds. All kinds of gas bombs are going off and echoing out of the bowl, causing me, or my pathetic inner child, to start laughing uncontrollably. Let me also note that this is the middle of the night, so I'm trying not to wake people up from the sounds of me lol'ing at my exploding anus.
Well, this finally comes to an end, filling me with relief. Should be the last shit of the day and I'll be ready for a peaceful sleep. I begin wiping my ass and after a couple wipes, I notice a strange wet feeling on the back of my hand. I pull it around to investigate and find shit running down my hand. Now, I know I'm a careful wiper, so I turn around to see why there's shit, and it would seem that in the middle of me laughing at my rumbling anus, I managed to give the back of my throne a paint job. I'm appalled. So, I think to myself, quickly clean this up and get my ass cleaned up then when I'm fresh I can clean off my hand.
Well, somehow while cleaning my ass, I managed to forget there was shit running down my hand earlier. I was too busy being happy that this was almost over. I stand up and flush, and I notice in the mirror behind my toilet that I have a booger in my nose, so out of reaction (because, hey its night time who will care if I pick my nose in the bathroom) I pull my hand to my nose to start gold digging. Before I could even comprehend what was happening, the smell of a long hour at the superbowl is infiltrating my nose and despite that I quickly retract my hand, the smell is still there with a little dingleberry hanging from my nose hair. Panic Mode: Engage!
I begin freaking out trying to get the shit off my hands as quick as possible so that I can stop being bombarded with this awful stench crawling up my nose at every waking second. I eventually managed to wash my hands and wipe my nose enough times for the horror to dissipate, but no amount of kleenex could rid myself of the fact that I shit on my own hand and continued to put it up my nose.
tl;dr: I managed to shit on my toilet and hand then proceed to pick my nose with my shitty hand.
