TIFU by stealing my grandma's credit card and having phone sex

[Deleted member 6403]

So I've never actually told anybody this but it makes me crack up everytime I think about it. Not so much then. I was about 14 or 15 (20 years ago) `when a friend lent me a porn DVD. It was an old school one, but I didnt care. idk if it was at the beginning or the end, but it'd have these like short phone sex ads. And horny me would always fap to it and fantasize about calling one of these numbers. Anyways, a few weeks later, I had to stay at my grandma's because my mom was going to a work conference out of state. It didn't even occur to me to borrow her credit card until she went to sleep super early and left her wallet out. So horny me grabbed her Mastercard, and dialed the number that I knew by memory. Okay, so this is where the screw up happens.
I input all the info and it had a couple options, talk to a professional for like $3 per minute, or amateurs for $.50 per minute. So I was like, hmm I'll talk to the amateurs so the bill won't be so high and maybe my grandma won't notice on her bill. Anyways, it starts to connect, and I get super nervous, heart beating super fast, no idea what I'm going to say. I feel that dryness in my throat. And I hear the lady on the other end and this is how the convo goes:
Lady: Mm hello?
Me: Hey
Lady: How're you doing baby?
Me: Uhh, good. Just super horny
Lady: Ooo are you?
**This is the screw up, and idk why da fuq i said this**
Me: Do you have nice pussies?
Lady: Um, what? Pussies? How many dicks do you have?
And I paused for what seemed like an eternity, super lost and I just said "Um, 2." And I just hung up the phone and totally regretted that.
TL;DR stole my grandma's credit card to have phone sex, and said some stupid stuff

 

[Deleted member 1813]

Absolutely the goofiest shit i read today, man said umm 2

still mogs half of forum he was able to talk to a woman for 3 seconds

 

[Deleted member 11758]

.me niggas when they finally ascend

 

[Deleted member 10367]

So I've never actually told anybody this but it makes me crack up everytime I think about it. Not so much then. I was about 14 or 15 (20 years ago) `when a friend lent me a porn DVD. It was an old school one, but I didnt care. idk if it was at the beginning or the end, but it'd have these like short phone sex ads. And horny me would always fap to it and fantasize about calling one of these numbers. Anyways, a few weeks later, I had to stay at my grandma's because my mom was going to a work conference out of state. It didn't even occur to me to borrow her credit card until she went to sleep super early and left her wallet out. So horny me grabbed her Mastercard, and dialed the number that I knew by memory. Okay, so this is where the screw up happens.
I input all the info and it had a couple options, talk to a professional for like $3 per minute, or amateurs for $.50 per minute. So I was like, hmm I'll talk to the amateurs so the bill won't be so high and maybe my grandma won't notice on her bill. Anyways, it starts to connect, and I get super nervous, heart beating super fast, no idea what I'm going to say. I feel that dryness in my throat. And I hear the lady on the other end and this is how the convo goes:
Lady: Mm hello?
Me: Hey
Lady: How're you doing baby?
Me: Uhh, good. Just super horny
Lady: Ooo are you?
**This is the screw up, and idk why da fuq i said this**
Me: Do you have nice pussies?
Lady: Um, what? Pussies? How many dicks do you have?
And I paused for what seemed like an eternity, super lost and I just said "Um, 2." And I just hung up the phone and totally regretted that.
TL;DR stole my grandma's credit card to have phone sex, and said some stupid stuff

Blacktriads me