optimisticzoomer
Salutations my children
- Joined
- May 24, 2020
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Yes, i know theres always the possibility of someone seeing me when i do this but my husband and I enjoy being nude so what the hell right? It went like this.
I, a woman, wanted to sunbathe nude by my pool in my own backyard. So i set out to do that today. I got the most comforable chair i could find to lay down on, set uup outside, got a big bowl of ice cold watermelon and started to undress outside. My fences are wooden but they are that high. Id say normal height for a regular suburban area. I start eating watermelon and it tastes so good that i forget to slow down and im getting prett full at this point. While setting my stuff up, i didnt realize my neighbor was gardening next door and today of all days, he heard me set up and i guess took it as an invitation to ask if my husband wanted his circular saw back yet. He had no idea what i was doing until he looked over the fence. I guess it didnt really matter anyway because my husband and i are usually naked anyway and our neighbors have caught us nude so many times that we just decided we were fine with it. So im laying there eating watermelon in my birthday suit with everything on display while hes looking at me having a conversation. By this time i had finished the big bowl of watermelon and i dont feel too great because it was in hindsight a ton of it... by now its been a while since i stopped eating it. He doesnt seem phased by me being nude so he keeps talking. And talking... and talking... by that time i start wondering if ill get to enjoy my naked afternoon by myself... thats when my stomach started acting up... my stomach and chest started gaining pressure and i felt something off... hes still talking and doesnt notice so i try ending the conversation but he keeps going on. A few minutes later he asks me if i feel okay and he said this because "youre butthole is puckering quite a bit..." (i like to lay on my back very spread eagle...) i realize that the enivitable is coming and it was because of the damn ton of watermelon i ate... i tell him that i think i should go inside now and he agrees. So as i say bye and as i start to get up i had no idea how much of your midsection you use by doing this so i feel something about to blow and as much i tried to hold it back, i manage to stand up and.... splatter ... i had just shitted liquified ish shit near my pool... none of it got on the chair and then i saw that my neighbor was still standing there with his jaw dropped and still in shock. Then i start trying to say "i dont feel too good. Im sorry im sorry. Im going to go insi-" and then the second wave of shit comes and i hear my neighbor do the puking sounds and he just ran inside his house by this point. I feel my intestines on fire and and my asshole like lava and thinking at least its all out... but holy fuck if anyone of you has done this yourself, you know it doesnt stop all day... and i felt another and im almost to the door and then another splatter... fuck... my asshole is burning like fuck and i also just shitted in front of our neighbor. After the third splatter i feel confident enough to hose off my shit on the ground and clean it up as quick as possible and i realized that the last one half got on the chair. So i just spray it down with water and ill deal with it later because i feel a fourth coming soon... so now, ive sprayed myself down as clean as i could, im sitting on the toilet anf ive called my husband to tell him what just happened. Amazingly he didnt laugh and he said he"ll try to take off early. This all happened this morning and im still sitting on the toilet. Ive a few times since then and my asshole if on FUCKING. FIRE... i want to stop wiping. I want to stop shitting. Yes my neighbor can see me naked and he has, i dont mind being naked in front of him... but i never intended to shit a liquid waterfall in front of him... and cause him to puke really hard. I havent spoken to him and i dont want to because i feel so embarrassed that i havent even gone outside to clean the chair off with bleach yet.... so thats my morning so far... moral of the story (after i googled it just now) watermelon, in excess amounts, causes indegestion. I did not know this at all and my stomach wasnt in the best condition before eating as much as i did. I wish i wouldve known this. I am seriously considering moving houses right now.
EDIT: to clear up confusion. My husband and i arent exactly swingers but are closet nudists. And yes our neighbors have seen us naked enough times to not even notice at times. Mainly when they do its because either one of us grew our pubic hair out or in my case into a shape of some sprt
I, a woman, wanted to sunbathe nude by my pool in my own backyard. So i set out to do that today. I got the most comforable chair i could find to lay down on, set uup outside, got a big bowl of ice cold watermelon and started to undress outside. My fences are wooden but they are that high. Id say normal height for a regular suburban area. I start eating watermelon and it tastes so good that i forget to slow down and im getting prett full at this point. While setting my stuff up, i didnt realize my neighbor was gardening next door and today of all days, he heard me set up and i guess took it as an invitation to ask if my husband wanted his circular saw back yet. He had no idea what i was doing until he looked over the fence. I guess it didnt really matter anyway because my husband and i are usually naked anyway and our neighbors have caught us nude so many times that we just decided we were fine with it. So im laying there eating watermelon in my birthday suit with everything on display while hes looking at me having a conversation. By this time i had finished the big bowl of watermelon and i dont feel too great because it was in hindsight a ton of it... by now its been a while since i stopped eating it. He doesnt seem phased by me being nude so he keeps talking. And talking... and talking... by that time i start wondering if ill get to enjoy my naked afternoon by myself... thats when my stomach started acting up... my stomach and chest started gaining pressure and i felt something off... hes still talking and doesnt notice so i try ending the conversation but he keeps going on. A few minutes later he asks me if i feel okay and he said this because "youre butthole is puckering quite a bit..." (i like to lay on my back very spread eagle...) i realize that the enivitable is coming and it was because of the damn ton of watermelon i ate... i tell him that i think i should go inside now and he agrees. So as i say bye and as i start to get up i had no idea how much of your midsection you use by doing this so i feel something about to blow and as much i tried to hold it back, i manage to stand up and.... splatter ... i had just shitted liquified ish shit near my pool... none of it got on the chair and then i saw that my neighbor was still standing there with his jaw dropped and still in shock. Then i start trying to say "i dont feel too good. Im sorry im sorry. Im going to go insi-" and then the second wave of shit comes and i hear my neighbor do the puking sounds and he just ran inside his house by this point. I feel my intestines on fire and and my asshole like lava and thinking at least its all out... but holy fuck if anyone of you has done this yourself, you know it doesnt stop all day... and i felt another and im almost to the door and then another splatter... fuck... my asshole is burning like fuck and i also just shitted in front of our neighbor. After the third splatter i feel confident enough to hose off my shit on the ground and clean it up as quick as possible and i realized that the last one half got on the chair. So i just spray it down with water and ill deal with it later because i feel a fourth coming soon... so now, ive sprayed myself down as clean as i could, im sitting on the toilet anf ive called my husband to tell him what just happened. Amazingly he didnt laugh and he said he"ll try to take off early. This all happened this morning and im still sitting on the toilet. Ive a few times since then and my asshole if on FUCKING. FIRE... i want to stop wiping. I want to stop shitting. Yes my neighbor can see me naked and he has, i dont mind being naked in front of him... but i never intended to shit a liquid waterfall in front of him... and cause him to puke really hard. I havent spoken to him and i dont want to because i feel so embarrassed that i havent even gone outside to clean the chair off with bleach yet.... so thats my morning so far... moral of the story (after i googled it just now) watermelon, in excess amounts, causes indegestion. I did not know this at all and my stomach wasnt in the best condition before eating as much as i did. I wish i wouldve known this. I am seriously considering moving houses right now.
EDIT: to clear up confusion. My husband and i arent exactly swingers but are closet nudists. And yes our neighbors have seen us naked enough times to not even notice at times. Mainly when they do its because either one of us grew our pubic hair out or in my case into a shape of some sprt
