ElySioNs
Mercenary
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Throwaway account because I have friends on Reddit. Actually happened two days ago. Before you say I'm an idiot, yes, the door was locked.
So my wife and I were having a pleasant afternoon romp while our daughter was napping down the hall. "Sexy time" can be hard to come by, so we were getting pretty into it. Massage oils were involved.
So my daughter usually naps for 2-3 hours, and it had been only 1 hour or so into her nap. Plenty of time. Like I said, I still locked our door as a precaution.
As we start getting in the thick of things, we eventually end up in the doggystyle position. Now, my daughter has come close to walking in on us in compromising situations, but you can usually recover from it. If I'm on top of my wife or laying side to side, we can just say we're playing or holding each other. Even if we're naked, we just tell her mommy and daddy are hot, and my daughter forgets about it and we'll get dressed and go downstairs.
But butt naked, doggy style in the middle of the bed? I'm not sure how to explain this one away.
So of course as we're in this extremely compromising position, I hear my daughter's footsteps and the rattling of the doorknob. I tell my wife I'm close to coming, so we ignore it knowing we can wrap up in a minute or two.
My daughter's persistent though and continues jiggling the door knob UNTIL THE FREAKING DOOR BUSTS WIDE OPEN. Mind you, my daughter has never learned to unlock a door in her life until of course this very moment.
You can imagine the sheer horror my wife and I feel. My wife immediately pulls up a pillow to our butts to cover up. I pull out and lurch to my wife's side to get out of view. Of course, in the anxiety of the moment, I blow my load and am scrambling to clean it up.
My daughter is so confused and yells, "What are you guys doing?? Why are you naked?"
We're trying our usual tricks... We're playing, we're hot, but we're like deer in the headlights and not really sure how to get out of this one. We're still kind of stuck in the position too, because of course we're both drenched in my love juice and don't want to drip everywhere and I definitely don't want my daughter getting anywhere near any of it.
By now we're also laughing out of our minds, because we can't believe something so ridiculous could happen to us. My daughter thinks we're making fun of her and tells us, "Stop laughing at me!" Of course we tell her we're not laughing at her, my wife says I told her a funny joke.
I grab a nearby towel and try to mop myself up quickly. I jump out of bed, throw on a shirt and undies, and escort my daughter to her room and tell her mommy and daddy need a little bit of privacy and we'll come to play with her in a few minutes.
I rush back to my bedroom, and my wife and I are still laughing, but also fearful that we've somehow traumatized our sweet, precious daughter. We clean up and get clothed, but we're trying to figure out how to ensure our daughter can still have a normal life after all of this.
We agree to not ask her directly what happened, but just ask how she's doing, how she's feeling, etc. and see how she responds. Turns out she basically forgot about it. We took her to see Toy Story 4 later, and it's like it never happened. But my wife and I will never forget.
tl;dr Wife and I were having doggystyle sex, my 4 yo daughter figured out how to unlock a door for the first time in her life and sees everything. Thankfully, my daughter already forgot about it (or so I hope)
EDIT: to clarify about my daughter opening the locked door from the other side, so we have 2 doors to our bedroom: the entryway and then a door to a shared bathroom. The shared bathroom door locks from inside the bathroom, not our bedroom. I had locked it from the bathroom side and this is the door my daughter used
So my wife and I were having a pleasant afternoon romp while our daughter was napping down the hall. "Sexy time" can be hard to come by, so we were getting pretty into it. Massage oils were involved.
So my daughter usually naps for 2-3 hours, and it had been only 1 hour or so into her nap. Plenty of time. Like I said, I still locked our door as a precaution.
As we start getting in the thick of things, we eventually end up in the doggystyle position. Now, my daughter has come close to walking in on us in compromising situations, but you can usually recover from it. If I'm on top of my wife or laying side to side, we can just say we're playing or holding each other. Even if we're naked, we just tell her mommy and daddy are hot, and my daughter forgets about it and we'll get dressed and go downstairs.
But butt naked, doggy style in the middle of the bed? I'm not sure how to explain this one away.
So of course as we're in this extremely compromising position, I hear my daughter's footsteps and the rattling of the doorknob. I tell my wife I'm close to coming, so we ignore it knowing we can wrap up in a minute or two.
My daughter's persistent though and continues jiggling the door knob UNTIL THE FREAKING DOOR BUSTS WIDE OPEN. Mind you, my daughter has never learned to unlock a door in her life until of course this very moment.
You can imagine the sheer horror my wife and I feel. My wife immediately pulls up a pillow to our butts to cover up. I pull out and lurch to my wife's side to get out of view. Of course, in the anxiety of the moment, I blow my load and am scrambling to clean it up.
My daughter is so confused and yells, "What are you guys doing?? Why are you naked?"
We're trying our usual tricks... We're playing, we're hot, but we're like deer in the headlights and not really sure how to get out of this one. We're still kind of stuck in the position too, because of course we're both drenched in my love juice and don't want to drip everywhere and I definitely don't want my daughter getting anywhere near any of it.
By now we're also laughing out of our minds, because we can't believe something so ridiculous could happen to us. My daughter thinks we're making fun of her and tells us, "Stop laughing at me!" Of course we tell her we're not laughing at her, my wife says I told her a funny joke.
I grab a nearby towel and try to mop myself up quickly. I jump out of bed, throw on a shirt and undies, and escort my daughter to her room and tell her mommy and daddy need a little bit of privacy and we'll come to play with her in a few minutes.
I rush back to my bedroom, and my wife and I are still laughing, but also fearful that we've somehow traumatized our sweet, precious daughter. We clean up and get clothed, but we're trying to figure out how to ensure our daughter can still have a normal life after all of this.
We agree to not ask her directly what happened, but just ask how she's doing, how she's feeling, etc. and see how she responds. Turns out she basically forgot about it. We took her to see Toy Story 4 later, and it's like it never happened. But my wife and I will never forget.
tl;dr Wife and I were having doggystyle sex, my 4 yo daughter figured out how to unlock a door for the first time in her life and sees everything. Thankfully, my daughter already forgot about it (or so I hope)
EDIT: to clarify about my daughter opening the locked door from the other side, so we have 2 doors to our bedroom: the entryway and then a door to a shared bathroom. The shared bathroom door locks from inside the bathroom, not our bedroom. I had locked it from the bathroom side and this is the door my daughter used
