Today my mother teared up and told me she is somewhat responsible for how bad I turned out...

[Deleted member 11126]

She said she knows I've always disliked women and that part of it was because she used to be so stressed from work that she would take out her stress on me. I do understand the reasons why she was neglectful I am still quite angry from it on a subconscious level.

I forgive her but I think it did mess up the way I seek and feel love towards people its one of the reason I developed such a sadistic personality.

 

[Deleted member 11126]

It really does bother me how well she treats my younger brother. She never showed me that kind of love. She quit her job which made her miserable and it changed her for the better. I wish I had gotten that kind of affection on some level I hate my younger brother for this.

Its too late for me to appreciate any affections my personality was already wired a long time ago. Its too late for me to change I am this way forever now.

 

[NFA PB]

brutal

 

[Deleted member 11126]

brutal

Yep now the only way I can feel anything is by hurting other people

 

[NFA PB]

Yep now the only way I can feel anything is by hurting other people

yea i only read the title