miserycel
aching for ardour
- Joined
- Jan 8, 2025
- Posts
- 1,435
- Reputation
- 1,553
for the average truecel, life is just a constant daily repetition of mundanity and boredom
it was never really about the women, at least for me.
i would happily cut them off completely and live a life devotedly following god
or indomitably chase my dreams, if i had any
but being a truecel means being stripped of all that
your parents who birthed you and subsequently assigned you a religion, eventually push you away from that because they failed to nurture you properly, not only stunting your strength as an individual, but severing your relationship with god. it’s why so many former believers come from bad upbringings. your parents gave you god, and if your relationship with your parents is damaged, so it is with god.
your peers took away all your dreams. fellow students ridiculed you, teachers didn’t think such genetic mediocrity (or even a genetic failure) like yourself had the potential to become a world class footballer, or an Oscar winning filmmaker. you’re not enough, your appearance didn’t leave a mark in their minds, why would they ever think you could leave a mark on the world?
a lot of truecels today including myself, are just stuck in the cycle of doing the same things everyday, constantly stuck in bad habits with no signs of any kind of light at the end of the tunnel.
im not really sure what im trying to get at here, im just trying to explain these feelings, mostly to myself. i’ve kinda buried these away for so long that its hard to even recognise myself, and what’s going through my fucked up brain.
what i know is that everyday lacks vigor. not a single day in my life have i woken up with any sort of enthusiasm or energy to actually live. everyday lacks thrill, its the same constant loop. sometimes i feel like the cycle is unbreakable because the damage has been done. no amount of ascending will ever fill the gaps in my head. i don’t even know what im trying to look better for.
all these years of bullying, outcasting, self hatred, missing out, depression, boredom and frustration. are they all gonna suddenly disappear once my cheeks hollow out?
i don’t think so, and i also don’t think there is an answer either, there’s nothing to seek refuge in for us. dreams and god have already been stolen from us. i think life’s always gonna be this shitty, with or without a better looking face. over before it began
it was never really about the women, at least for me.
i would happily cut them off completely and live a life devotedly following god
or indomitably chase my dreams, if i had any
but being a truecel means being stripped of all that
your parents who birthed you and subsequently assigned you a religion, eventually push you away from that because they failed to nurture you properly, not only stunting your strength as an individual, but severing your relationship with god. it’s why so many former believers come from bad upbringings. your parents gave you god, and if your relationship with your parents is damaged, so it is with god.
your peers took away all your dreams. fellow students ridiculed you, teachers didn’t think such genetic mediocrity (or even a genetic failure) like yourself had the potential to become a world class footballer, or an Oscar winning filmmaker. you’re not enough, your appearance didn’t leave a mark in their minds, why would they ever think you could leave a mark on the world?
a lot of truecels today including myself, are just stuck in the cycle of doing the same things everyday, constantly stuck in bad habits with no signs of any kind of light at the end of the tunnel.
im not really sure what im trying to get at here, im just trying to explain these feelings, mostly to myself. i’ve kinda buried these away for so long that its hard to even recognise myself, and what’s going through my fucked up brain.
what i know is that everyday lacks vigor. not a single day in my life have i woken up with any sort of enthusiasm or energy to actually live. everyday lacks thrill, its the same constant loop. sometimes i feel like the cycle is unbreakable because the damage has been done. no amount of ascending will ever fill the gaps in my head. i don’t even know what im trying to look better for.
all these years of bullying, outcasting, self hatred, missing out, depression, boredom and frustration. are they all gonna suddenly disappear once my cheeks hollow out?
i don’t think so, and i also don’t think there is an answer either, there’s nothing to seek refuge in for us. dreams and god have already been stolen from us. i think life’s always gonna be this shitty, with or without a better looking face. over before it began
