Two Girls Tried To Bully Me || My Life's Story || High Effort

[Mr.Blitzkrieg]

I read it and my heart goes out to you. foids are evil man

 

[Navity]

I wanted to read it but i couldn't really read it. I was just looking at the words. I dont know why i do this

 

[grav]

Chris cornell

 

[jeremyy]

Context:​

For context, they are my ex's friend and ex's bsf (both are female). They are pretty much obsessed with me, the friend, lets call her Aids. the bsf, lets call her Veda.

Now one of Aids life goals is to make my life as miserable as possible, when I pass by her she will scream out laughing with as loud as possible, with her friends near her. she'll talk shit about me & my apperaence to a mutual friend.

And Veda(the bsf) has a crush on my ex and is also her best friend, some time back when I was still dating my ex Veda proposed to my ex, whom we will just call Radio(ex). Now I had Radio's account and saw the messages actively while she was saying it, and I was talking to her not Radio(at the time gf, now ex) while radio was seeing the messages.

And when Radio(my ex) told me she wouldn't cut off Veda(the bsf who proposed) I broke up with radio(my ex) and then got back together after like 10 days or sm.

And she STILL wouldn't cut her off, even though Veda advised radio to, or so Radio claims.

---

---

So, new class comes around, and Veda, Aids and ALL of radio(my ex's friends) are in the same class alongside me.
Now they just begin their silly bullshit, talking about me, now during this time I had gotten EXTREMELY insecure and tried my best to act confidence, suppressing all my emotions, during this time I was also recovering with the break up with my ex(3 years on and off) who was also the only girl who showed me any affection & love.
She was, quite frankly the only 2 people who I could actually talk to.
And, now I only had 1, but oh wait, me and the other person stopped talking, so now I had no one to talk to, meaning I was a alone, insecure, blackpilled, lonely, friendless, ND guy who didn't fit in who had no direction on where to go, was transitioning from a boy to a man, and coped by spending time here. During this very fragile, pathetic and extremely vulnerable time of my life,
who was in a class full of his ex's friends who ensured to make his life a living hell.

---

---

Now I could feel these bitches talk about me, laugh at me, and so did some of my friends and pointed it out.

I also for some reason was very prone to laughing, laughing my ass off at every small thing, becoming almost clingy.

I always had a fear of being too clingy and making people hate me, which was because of my lonely childhood in which I used to cling on to people.

One major reason why I broke up with my ex was also because of the fear of her starting to hate me and being irritated by me. Basically leave her before she leaves me.

---

---

Depressed 21st century schzoid man:

​

Now, during this time I coped with listening to music, spending 1.5hours+ each day every day for about 2-3 months. I listened to youtube videos while sleeping, and when I was awake I just imagined scenarios in my head to cope.

I had grown depressed, anorexic(due to my horrible facial genetics making me hella fat) which was inevitable. I also have a Jewish hooked nose alongside paper thin lips + nasolabial folds. I also have curly hair so I'm an orgemaxxed freak.

Now, skip to some time after, where I'm still depressed and schzoid suppressing all of my emotions, having no one to talk to, replacing my thoughts with song or living in an imaginary world, or as Dostoevosky would call it, a Dreamer.

Spoiler: Dreamer meaning

Character of the Dreamer

• • Total Isolation: He wanders the streets of St. Petersburg, feeling disconnected from real society and preferring the rich fantasies of his own mind.
  • Deep Yearning: He desperately craves connection, understanding, and to be truly seen by another human being.
  • Self-Awareness: He freely admits his condition, famously stating, "I am a dreamer. I know so little of real life that I just can't help re-living such moments as these in my dreams."

Now, there was another gal, Radio's friend who also liked music, and most importantly Rock, I didn't know anyone who liked rock in my shithole country other then my ex, but me and this gal had a talk about Rock music when I didn't know much about rock and she was very passionate about it.

I tried becoming friends with her:

https://looksmax.org/threads/how-do-i-make-this-friend.2221633/

But she...

https://looksmax.org/threads/the-gal-i-wanted-to-be-friends-with-was-laughing-at-me.2225989/#post-30481724.

Now, during this time, since me and my ex are in the same school, we would make eye contact frequently, she would come around me and my class, sometimes even inside it, she would stand on the doorway and hold hands with her friends(Which was extremely brutal ropefuel.)

Now during this vulnerble time, I got addicted to porn, caffiene, and I stole 2 packs of cig from my parents.

But I just started yearning for her, I need that warmth of a human being, the affection a human atleast deserves getting.
Then I saw this...
View attachment 5479671
This completely shattered my view on her, reality, and everything in between.

REFRAIN FROM ANY SEXUAL COMMENTS AS SHE IS A MINOR IN THE PICTURE!!!

​

Now, Veda and Aids were basically throwing stuff at me during English class and I didn't do much other then pick up all the stuff they were trying to throw at me, and then they were asking me to return it and I wanted to laugh and shit but I just threw out a smile.

Then, when they had went to the bathroom I stole their highlighter and shit and blah blah I was sent out the class and shit.

Then when the bel;l rand theperiod was over they came out and started saying some "Depressed Loser Larping" or some bullshit

I had no clue what they were talking about, but now that I look at it I was probably looking like a depressed Loser lonely af. The guys whom I normally talk to were all absent and I was sitting 2 seats behind them in break they were doing some bs too, i don't even remember I tried my bet to for get it.

And one thing WHICH I CAN NOT FORGET, is them basically trying to bully me and I could see myself emotionally break. tear apart in two. They were also saying "You're getting bullied" or sm shit then when I lightly smiled, I saw the Aids look at me with the most pity face ever, a face I can not get out of my memory. I have never seen her look any place similar to that. It was full of pity for me. It was such a pathetic moment I can't even explain this.

They also took my Notebook and stuff but Vedi gave it back in an instant because she could almost feel this lonely radiation around me.

I could see and feel the pity on her face. She tried to disturb me during the break as Her friend Veda was advising her, but she couldn't.

After some time they were sarcasticaly, saying "yo my bad bro I didn't know" or sm shit very sarcastically but deep down the sarcasm I could see they somewhat meant it. Aids was also telling me to go and talk to our mutual friend out of pity of my loneliness.

Then during Computer period they were talking about some "we have a larper behind us" or sm bs

While writing this I'm on the verge of getting a panic attack. My heart feels heavier then a million tons. My breath is irrgular my hands are trembling while writing this. Ever since a child I had never opened up to anyone.

Panic attack reminds me, I used to get an anxiety attack when seeing My ex every here and there.

And deep down I wished to be understood by the people making my life hell. I enjoyed whatever they do/ are doing to be honest, It sort of made me non-schzoid for some time.



ILL MAKE A SMALL PART 2 ABOUT WHAT HHAPPENED YESTERDAY WHICH COMPLETELY BROKE ME AND i started crying in school, lmk for tag

 

[ssTOL]

Context:​

For context, they are my ex's friend and ex's bsf (both are female). They are pretty much obsessed with me, the friend, lets call her Aids. the bsf, lets call her Veda.

Now one of Aids life goals is to make my life as miserable as possible, when I pass by her she will scream out laughing with as loud as possible, with her friends near her. she'll talk shit about me & my apperaence to a mutual friend.

And Veda has a crush on my ex and is also her best friend, some time back when I was still dating my ex Aids proposed to my ex, whom we will just call Radio. Now I had Radio's account and saw the messages actively while she was saying it, and I was talking to her not Radio(at the time gf, now ex) while radio was seeing the messages.

And when Radio(my ex) told me she wouldn't cut off Veda(the bsf who proposed) I broke up with radio(my ex) and then got back together after like 10 days or sm.

And she STILL wouldn't cut her off, even though Veda advised radio to, or so Radio claims.

---

---

So, new class comes around, and Veda, Aids and ALL of radio(my ex's friends) are in the same class alongside me.
Now they just begin their silly bullshit, talking about me, now during this time I had gotten EXTREMELY insecure and tried my best to act confidence, suppressing all my emotions, during this time I was also recovering with the break up with my ex(3 years on and off) who was also the only girl who showed me any affection & love.
She was, quite frankly the only 2 people who I could actually talk to.
And, now I only had 1, but oh wait, me and the other person stopped talking, so now I had no one to talk to, meaning I was a alone, insecure, blackpilled, lonely, friendless, ND guy who didn't fit in who had no direction on where to go, was transitioning from a boy to a man, and coped by spending time here. During this very fragile, pathetic and extremely vulnerable time of my life,
who was in a class full of his ex's friends who ensured to make his life a living hell.

---

---

Now I could feel these bitches talk about me, laugh at me, and so did some of my friends and pointed it out.

I also for some reason was very prone to laughing, laughing my ass off at every small thing, becoming almost clingy.

I always had a fear of being too clingy and making people hate me, which was because of my lonely childhood in which I used to cling on to people.

One major reason why I broke up with my ex was also because of the fear of her starting to hate me and being irritated by me. Basically leave her before she leaves me.

---

---

Depressed 21st century schzoid man:

​

Now, during this time I coped with listening to music, spending 1.5hours+ each day every day for about 2-3 months. I listened to youtube videos while sleeping, and when I was awake I just imagined scenarios in my head to cope.

I had grown depressed, anorexic(due to my horrible facial genetics making me hella fat) which was inevitable. I also have a Jewish hooked nose alongside paper thin lips + nasolabial folds. I also have curly hair so I'm an orgemaxxed freak.

Now, skip to some time after, where I'm still depressed and schzoid suppressing all of my emotions, having no one to talk to, replacing my thoughts with song or living in an imaginary world, or as Dostoevosky would call it, a Dreamer.

Spoiler: Dreamer meaning

Character of the Dreamer

• • Total Isolation: He wanders the streets of St. Petersburg, feeling disconnected from real society and preferring the rich fantasies of his own mind.
  • Deep Yearning: He desperately craves connection, understanding, and to be truly seen by another human being.
  • Self-Awareness: He freely admits his condition, famously stating, "I am a dreamer. I know so little of real life that I just can't help re-living such moments as these in my dreams."

Now, there was another gal, Radio's friend who also liked music, and most importantly Rock, I didn't know anyone who liked rock in my shithole country other then my ex, but me and this gal had a talk about Rock music when I didn't know much about rock and she was very passionate about it.

I tried becoming friends with her:

https://looksmax.org/threads/how-do-i-make-this-friend.2221633/

But she...

https://looksmax.org/threads/the-gal-i-wanted-to-be-friends-with-was-laughing-at-me.2225989/#post-30481724.

Now, during this time, since me and my ex are in the same school, we would make eye contact frequently, she would come around me and my class, sometimes even inside it, she would stand on the doorway and hold hands with her friends(Which was extremely brutal ropefuel.)

Now during this vulnerble time, I got addicted to porn, caffiene, and I stole 2 packs of cig from my parents.

But I just started yearning for her, I need that warmth of a human being, the affection a human atleast deserves getting.
Then I saw this...
View attachment 5479671
This completely shattered my view on her, reality, and everything in between.

REFRAIN FROM ANY SEXUAL COMMENTS AS SHE IS A MINOR IN THE PICTURE!!!

​

Now, Veda and Aids were basically throwing stuff at me during English class and I didn't do much other then pick up all the stuff they were trying to throw at me, and then they were asking me to return it and I wanted to laugh and shit but I just threw out a smile.

Then, when they had went to the bathroom I stole their highlighter and shit and blah blah I was sent out the class and shit.

Then when the bel;l rand theperiod was over they came out and started saying some "Depressed Loser Larping" or some bullshit

I had no clue what they were talking about, but now that I look at it I was probably looking like a depressed Loser lonely af. The guys whom I normally talk to were all absent and I was sitting 2 seats behind them in break they were doing some bs too, i don't even remember I tried my bet to for get it.

And one thing WHICH I CAN NOT FORGET, is them basically trying to bully me and I could see myself emotionally break. tear apart in two. They were also saying "You're getting bullied" or sm shit then when I lightly smiled, I saw the Aids look at me with the most pity face ever, a face I can not get out of my memory. I have never seen her look any place similar to that. It was full of pity for me. It was such a pathetic moment I can't even explain this.

They also took my Notebook and stuff but Vedi gave it back in an instant because she could almost feel this lonely radiation around me.

I could see and feel the pity on her face. She tried to disturb me during the break as Her friend Veda was advising her, but she couldn't.

After some time they were sarcasticaly, saying "yo my bad bro I didn't know" or sm shit very sarcastically but deep down the sarcasm I could see they somewhat meant it. Aids was also telling me to go and talk to our mutual friend out of pity of my loneliness.

Then during Computer period they were talking about some "we have a larper behind us" or sm bs

While writing this I'm on the verge of getting a panic attack. My heart feels heavier then a million tons. My breath is irrgular my hands are trembling while writing this. Ever since a child I had never opened up to anyone.

Panic attack reminds me, I used to get an anxiety attack when seeing My ex every here and there.

And deep down I wished to be understood by the people making my life hell. I enjoyed whatever they do/ are doing to be honest, It sort of made me non-schzoid for some time.



ILL MAKE A SMALL PART 2 ABOUT WHAT HHAPPENED YESTERDAY WHICH COMPLETELY BROKE ME AND i started crying in school, lmk for tag

Read the whole thing im sorry bro this is a shit situation the depression and anxiety can be solved somehow idek know how ive never been in as bad a pot as you not to make you feel bad but you gotta understand that you are a Man and not a Foid and you gotta see those bitches for what they truly are and learn that they are nothing everyone around you is changing and life will become better you just gotta fight the rough waves and keep your head up maybe look into fixing your gut health and cutting out caffeine as it can be damadging for your gut, eat foods like kefir and feremented stuff and should look into Primal diet if thats too far for you then just avoid slop as most you can and if you ever fall back into it just keep choosing heaklthy food options whenevber you can but you should really see for what IS TRULY happening those bitches are evil and you must stop being blind and get a good proper friend group that will support you i could tell from this post you are quite high iq and nd so find some hobbies like maybe playing an instrument is a good cope also if they are throwing shit at you and you are in such a depressive state and crying at school you must defend yourself but dont ER its never woth the eternal hellfire you might expericen same goes with roping know that Its Never Truly Over and when people go to kill themselves and jump off bridges they always regret it as you fall thats all i gotta say Bruh keep your head up i guess and Cope

 

[Navity]

Read the whole thing im sorry bro this is a shit situation the depression and anxiety can be solved somehow idek know how ive never been in as bad a pot as you not to make you feel bad but you gotta understand that you are a Man and not a Foid and you gotta see those bitches for what they truly are and learn that they are nothing everyone around you is changing and life will become better you just gotta fight the rough waves and keep your head up maybe look into fixing your gut health and cutting out caffeine as it can be damadging for your gut, eat foods like kefir and feremented stuff and should look into Primal diet if thats too far for you then just avoid slop as most you can and if you ever fall back into it just keep choosing heaklthy food options whenevber you can but you should really see for what IS TRULY happening those bitches are evil and you must stop being blind and get a good proper friend group that will support you i could tell from this post you are quite high iq and nd so find some hobbies like maybe playing an instrument is a good cope also if they are throwing shit at you and you are in such a depressive state and crying at school you must defend yourself but dont ER its never woth the eternal hellfire you might expericen same goes with roping know that Its Never Truly Over and when people go to kill themselves and jump off bridges they always regret it as you fall thats all i gotta say Bruh keep your head up i guess and Cope

I appreciate this comment bro, and yes, I'm looking into getting an eguitar but I'm too broke to.

These bitches are evil.

I doubt food is the reason why, but I have been improving it lately.

I am embracing masculinity and becoming a man.

I don't even care that they are throwing stuff at me. It's meaningless to me. I just act like I care. Or maybe I do deep down

 

[Navity]

Do you know which movie this is from?

 

[ssTOL]

I appreciate this comment bro, and yes, I'm looking into getting an eguitar but I'm too broke to.

These bitches are evil.

I doubt food is the reason why, but I have been improving it lately.

I am embracing masculinity and becoming a man.

I don't even care that they are throwing stuff at me. It's meaningless to me. I just act like I care. Or maybe I do deep down

food is just for a good gut, which is linked to depression and shit just a small little cope, guitars are quite cheap idk where you are ask your parents for 1 or steal one from your school any instrunemtn really, if you truly care if they throw shit at you how is teacher not doing anything about this jfl idk bru

 

[Noriju]

Context:​

For context, they are my ex's friend and ex's bsf (both are female). They are pretty much obsessed with me, the friend, lets call her Aids. the bsf, lets call her Veda.

Now one of Aids life goals is to make my life as miserable as possible, when I pass by her she will scream out laughing with as loud as possible, with her friends near her. she'll talk shit about me & my apperaence to a mutual friend.

And Veda(the bsf) has a crush on my ex and is also her best friend, some time back when I was still dating my ex Veda proposed to my ex, whom we will just call Radio(ex). Now I had Radio's account and saw the messages actively while she was saying it, and I was talking to her not Radio(at the time gf, now ex) while radio was seeing the messages.

And when Radio(my ex) told me she wouldn't cut off Veda(the bsf who proposed) I broke up with radio(my ex) and then got back together after like 10 days or sm.

And she STILL wouldn't cut her off, even though Veda advised radio to, or so Radio claims.

---

---

So, new class comes around, and Veda, Aids and ALL of radio(my ex's friends) are in the same class alongside me.
Now they just begin their silly bullshit, talking about me, now during this time I had gotten EXTREMELY insecure and tried my best to act confidence, suppressing all my emotions, during this time I was also recovering with the break up with my ex(3 years on and off) who was also the only girl who showed me any affection & love.
She was, quite frankly the only 2 people who I could actually talk to.
And, now I only had 1, but oh wait, me and the other person stopped talking, so now I had no one to talk to, meaning I was a alone, insecure, blackpilled, lonely, friendless, ND guy who didn't fit in who had no direction on where to go, was transitioning from a boy to a man, and coped by spending time here. During this very fragile, pathetic and extremely vulnerable time of my life,
who was in a class full of his ex's friends who ensured to make his life a living hell.

---

---

Now I could feel these bitches talk about me, laugh at me, and so did some of my friends and pointed it out.

I also for some reason was very prone to laughing, laughing my ass off at every small thing, becoming almost clingy.

I always had a fear of being too clingy and making people hate me, which was because of my lonely childhood in which I used to cling on to people.

One major reason why I broke up with my ex was also because of the fear of her starting to hate me and being irritated by me. Basically leave her before she leaves me.

---

---

Depressed 21st century schzoid man:

​

Now, during this time I coped with listening to music, spending 1.5hours+ each day every day for about 2-3 months. I listened to youtube videos while sleeping, and when I was awake I just imagined scenarios in my head to cope.

I had grown depressed, anorexic(due to my horrible facial genetics making me hella fat) which was inevitable. I also have a Jewish hooked nose alongside paper thin lips + nasolabial folds. I also have curly hair so I'm an orgemaxxed freak.

Now, skip to some time after, where I'm still depressed and schzoid suppressing all of my emotions, having no one to talk to, replacing my thoughts with song or living in an imaginary world, or as Dostoevosky would call it, a Dreamer.

Spoiler: Dreamer meaning

Character of the Dreamer

• • Total Isolation: He wanders the streets of St. Petersburg, feeling disconnected from real society and preferring the rich fantasies of his own mind.
  • Deep Yearning: He desperately craves connection, understanding, and to be truly seen by another human being.
  • Self-Awareness: He freely admits his condition, famously stating, "I am a dreamer. I know so little of real life that I just can't help re-living such moments as these in my dreams."

Now, there was another gal, Radio's friend who also liked music, and most importantly Rock, I didn't know anyone who liked rock in my shithole country other then my ex, but me and this gal had a talk about Rock music when I didn't know much about rock and she was very passionate about it.

I tried becoming friends with her:

https://looksmax.org/threads/how-do-i-make-this-friend.2221633/

But she...

https://looksmax.org/threads/the-gal-i-wanted-to-be-friends-with-was-laughing-at-me.2225989/#post-30481724.

Now, during this time, since me and my ex are in the same school, we would make eye contact frequently, she would come around me and my class, sometimes even inside it, she would stand on the doorway and hold hands with her friends(Which was extremely brutal ropefuel.)

Now during this vulnerble time, I got addicted to porn, caffiene, and I stole 2 packs of cig from my parents.

But I just started yearning for her, I need that warmth of a human being, the affection a human atleast deserves getting.
Then I saw this...
View attachment 5479671
This completely shattered my view on her, reality, and everything in between.

REFRAIN FROM ANY SEXUAL COMMENTS AS SHE IS A MINOR IN THE PICTURE!!!

​

Now, Veda and Aids were basically throwing stuff at me during English class and I didn't do much other then pick up all the stuff they were trying to throw at me, and then they were asking me to return it and I wanted to laugh and shit but I just threw out a smile.

Then, when they had went to the bathroom I stole their highlighter and shit and blah blah I was sent out the class and shit.

Then when the bel;l rand theperiod was over they came out and started saying some "Depressed Loser Larping" or some bullshit

I had no clue what they were talking about, but now that I look at it I was probably looking like a depressed Loser lonely af. The guys whom I normally talk to were all absent and I was sitting 2 seats behind them in break they were doing some bs too, i don't even remember I tried my bet to for get it.

And one thing WHICH I CAN NOT FORGET, is them basically trying to bully me and I could see myself emotionally break. tear apart in two. They were also saying "You're getting bullied" or sm shit then when I lightly smiled, I saw the Aids look at me with the most pity face ever, a face I can not get out of my memory. I have never seen her look any place similar to that. It was full of pity for me. It was such a pathetic moment I can't even explain this.

They also took my Notebook and stuff but Vedi gave it back in an instant because she could almost feel this lonely radiation around me.

I could see and feel the pity on her face. She tried to disturb me during the break as Her friend Veda was advising her, but she couldn't.

After some time they were sarcasticaly, saying "yo my bad bro I didn't know" or sm shit very sarcastically but deep down the sarcasm I could see they somewhat meant it. Aids was also telling me to go and talk to our mutual friend out of pity of my loneliness.

Then during Computer period they were talking about some "we have a larper behind us" or sm bs

While writing this I'm on the verge of getting a panic attack. My heart feels heavier then a million tons. My breath is irrgular my hands are trembling while writing this. Ever since a child I had never opened up to anyone.

Panic attack reminds me, I used to get an anxiety attack when seeing My ex every here and there.

And deep down I wished to be understood by the people making my life hell. I enjoyed whatever they do/ are doing to be honest, It sort of made me non-schzoid for some time.



ILL MAKE A SMALL PART 2 ABOUT WHAT HHAPPENED YESTERDAY WHICH COMPLETELY BROKE ME AND i started crying in school, lmk for tag

Dude go fight gym easy fix

 

[Johnmogs2145]

Context:​

For context, they are my ex's friend and ex's bsf (both are female). They are pretty much obsessed with me, the friend, lets call her Aids. the bsf, lets call her Veda.

Now one of Aids life goals is to make my life as miserable as possible, when I pass by her she will scream out laughing with as loud as possible, with her friends near her. she'll talk shit about me & my apperaence to a mutual friend.

And Veda(the bsf) has a crush on my ex and is also her best friend, some time back when I was still dating my ex Veda proposed to my ex, whom we will just call Radio(ex). Now I had Radio's account and saw the messages actively while she was saying it, and I was talking to her not Radio(at the time gf, now ex) while radio was seeing the messages.

And when Radio(my ex) told me she wouldn't cut off Veda(the bsf who proposed) I broke up with radio(my ex) and then got back together after like 10 days or sm.

And she STILL wouldn't cut her off, even though Veda advised radio to, or so Radio claims.

---

---

So, new class comes around, and Veda, Aids and ALL of radio(my ex's friends) are in the same class alongside me.
Now they just begin their silly bullshit, talking about me, now during this time I had gotten EXTREMELY insecure and tried my best to act confidence, suppressing all my emotions, during this time I was also recovering with the break up with my ex(3 years on and off) who was also the only girl who showed me any affection & love.
She was, quite frankly the only 2 people who I could actually talk to.
And, now I only had 1, but oh wait, me and the other person stopped talking, so now I had no one to talk to, meaning I was a alone, insecure, blackpilled, lonely, friendless, ND guy who didn't fit in who had no direction on where to go, was transitioning from a boy to a man, and coped by spending time here. During this very fragile, pathetic and extremely vulnerable time of my life,
who was in a class full of his ex's friends who ensured to make his life a living hell.

---

---

Now I could feel these bitches talk about me, laugh at me, and so did some of my friends and pointed it out.

I also for some reason was very prone to laughing, laughing my ass off at every small thing, becoming almost clingy.

I always had a fear of being too clingy and making people hate me, which was because of my lonely childhood in which I used to cling on to people.

One major reason why I broke up with my ex was also because of the fear of her starting to hate me and being irritated by me. Basically leave her before she leaves me.

---

---

Depressed 21st century schzoid man:

​

Now, during this time I coped with listening to music, spending 1.5hours+ each day every day for about 2-3 months. I listened to youtube videos while sleeping, and when I was awake I just imagined scenarios in my head to cope.

I had grown depressed, anorexic(due to my horrible facial genetics making me hella fat) which was inevitable. I also have a Jewish hooked nose alongside paper thin lips + nasolabial folds. I also have curly hair so I'm an orgemaxxed freak.

Now, skip to some time after, where I'm still depressed and schzoid suppressing all of my emotions, having no one to talk to, replacing my thoughts with song or living in an imaginary world, or as Dostoevosky would call it, a Dreamer.

Spoiler: Dreamer meaning

Character of the Dreamer

• • Total Isolation: He wanders the streets of St. Petersburg, feeling disconnected from real society and preferring the rich fantasies of his own mind.
  • Deep Yearning: He desperately craves connection, understanding, and to be truly seen by another human being.
  • Self-Awareness: He freely admits his condition, famously stating, "I am a dreamer. I know so little of real life that I just can't help re-living such moments as these in my dreams."

Now, there was another gal, Radio's friend who also liked music, and most importantly Rock, I didn't know anyone who liked rock in my shithole country other then my ex, but me and this gal had a talk about Rock music when I didn't know much about rock and she was very passionate about it.

I tried becoming friends with her:

https://looksmax.org/threads/how-do-i-make-this-friend.2221633/

But she...

https://looksmax.org/threads/the-gal-i-wanted-to-be-friends-with-was-laughing-at-me.2225989/#post-30481724.

Now, during this time, since me and my ex are in the same school, we would make eye contact frequently, she would come around me and my class, sometimes even inside it, she would stand on the doorway and hold hands with her friends(Which was extremely brutal ropefuel.)

Now during this vulnerble time, I got addicted to porn, caffiene, and I stole 2 packs of cig from my parents.

But I just started yearning for her, I need that warmth of a human being, the affection a human atleast deserves getting.
Then I saw this...
View attachment 5479671
This completely shattered my view on her, reality, and everything in between.

REFRAIN FROM ANY SEXUAL COMMENTS AS SHE IS A MINOR IN THE PICTURE!!!

​

Now, Veda and Aids were basically throwing stuff at me during English class and I didn't do much other then pick up all the stuff they were trying to throw at me, and then they were asking me to return it and I wanted to laugh and shit but I just threw out a smile.

Then, when they had went to the bathroom I stole their highlighter and shit and blah blah I was sent out the class and shit.

Then when the bel;l rand theperiod was over they came out and started saying some "Depressed Loser Larping" or some bullshit

I had no clue what they were talking about, but now that I look at it I was probably looking like a depressed Loser lonely af. The guys whom I normally talk to were all absent and I was sitting 2 seats behind them in break they were doing some bs too, i don't even remember I tried my bet to for get it.

And one thing WHICH I CAN NOT FORGET, is them basically trying to bully me and I could see myself emotionally break. tear apart in two. They were also saying "You're getting bullied" or sm shit then when I lightly smiled, I saw the Aids look at me with the most pity face ever, a face I can not get out of my memory. I have never seen her look any place similar to that. It was full of pity for me. It was such a pathetic moment I can't even explain this.

They also took my Notebook and stuff but Vedi gave it back in an instant because she could almost feel this lonely radiation around me.

I could see and feel the pity on her face. She tried to disturb me during the break as Her friend Veda was advising her, but she couldn't.

After some time they were sarcasticaly, saying "yo my bad bro I didn't know" or sm shit very sarcastically but deep down the sarcasm I could see they somewhat meant it. Aids was also telling me to go and talk to our mutual friend out of pity of my loneliness.

Then during Computer period they were talking about some "we have a larper behind us" or sm bs

While writing this I'm on the verge of getting a panic attack. My heart feels heavier then a million tons. My breath is irrgular my hands are trembling while writing this. Ever since a child I had never opened up to anyone.

Panic attack reminds me, I used to get an anxiety attack when seeing My ex every here and there.

And deep down I wished to be understood by the people making my life hell. I enjoyed whatever they do/ are doing to be honest, It sort of made me non-schzoid for some time.



ILL MAKE A SMALL PART 2 ABOUT WHAT HHAPPENED YESTERDAY WHICH COMPLETELY BROKE ME AND i started crying in school, lmk for tag

Nice song choice

 

[Navity]

food is just for a good gut, which is linked to depression and shit just a small little cope, guitars are quite cheap idk where you are ask your parents for 1 or steal one from your school any instrunemtn really, if you truly care if they throw shit at you how is teacher not doing anything about this jfl idk bru

They didn't see her doing it

And I live in India, so it'll cost me like 200$ for a basic e rock guitar setup

 

[Navity]

Dude go fight gym easy fix

I did used to punch a punching bag a lot. I'll look into going to the GYM

 

[Navity]

Nice song choice

Which one? or all of them?

 

[Johnmogs2145]

Which one? or all of them?

the smiths one

 

[Scars]

Context:​

For context, they are my ex's friend and ex's bsf (both are female). They are pretty much obsessed with me, the friend, lets call her Aids. the bsf, lets call her Veda.

Now one of Aids life goals is to make my life as miserable as possible, when I pass by her she will scream out laughing with as loud as possible, with her friends near her. she'll talk shit about me & my apperaence to a mutual friend.

And Veda(the bsf) has a crush on my ex and is also her best friend, some time back when I was still dating my ex Veda proposed to my ex, whom we will just call Radio(ex). Now I had Radio's account and saw the messages actively while she was saying it, and I was talking to her not Radio(at the time gf, now ex) while radio was seeing the messages.

And when Radio(my ex) told me she wouldn't cut off Veda(the bsf who proposed) I broke up with radio(my ex) and then got back together after like 10 days or sm.

And she STILL wouldn't cut her off, even though Veda advised radio to, or so Radio claims.

---

---

So, new class comes around, and Veda, Aids and ALL of radio(my ex's friends) are in the same class alongside me.
Now they just begin their silly bullshit, talking about me, now during this time I had gotten EXTREMELY insecure and tried my best to act confidence, suppressing all my emotions, during this time I was also recovering with the break up with my ex(3 years on and off) who was also the only girl who showed me any affection & love.
She was, quite frankly the only 2 people who I could actually talk to.
And, now I only had 1, but oh wait, me and the other person stopped talking, so now I had no one to talk to, meaning I was a alone, insecure, blackpilled, lonely, friendless, ND guy who didn't fit in who had no direction on where to go, was transitioning from a boy to a man, and coped by spending time here. During this very fragile, pathetic and extremely vulnerable time of my life,
who was in a class full of his ex's friends who ensured to make his life a living hell.

---

---

Now I could feel these bitches talk about me, laugh at me, and so did some of my friends and pointed it out.

I also for some reason was very prone to laughing, laughing my ass off at every small thing, becoming almost clingy.

I always had a fear of being too clingy and making people hate me, which was because of my lonely childhood in which I used to cling on to people.

One major reason why I broke up with my ex was also because of the fear of her starting to hate me and being irritated by me. Basically leave her before she leaves me.

---

---

Depressed 21st century schzoid man:

​

Now, during this time I coped with listening to music, spending 1.5hours+ each day every day for about 2-3 months. I listened to youtube videos while sleeping, and when I was awake I just imagined scenarios in my head to cope.

I had grown depressed, anorexic(due to my horrible facial genetics making me hella fat) which was inevitable. I also have a Jewish hooked nose alongside paper thin lips + nasolabial folds. I also have curly hair so I'm an orgemaxxed freak.

Now, skip to some time after, where I'm still depressed and schzoid suppressing all of my emotions, having no one to talk to, replacing my thoughts with song or living in an imaginary world, or as Dostoevosky would call it, a Dreamer.

Spoiler: Dreamer meaning

Character of the Dreamer

• • Total Isolation: He wanders the streets of St. Petersburg, feeling disconnected from real society and preferring the rich fantasies of his own mind.
  • Deep Yearning: He desperately craves connection, understanding, and to be truly seen by another human being.
  • Self-Awareness: He freely admits his condition, famously stating, "I am a dreamer. I know so little of real life that I just can't help re-living such moments as these in my dreams."

Now, there was another gal, Radio's friend who also liked music, and most importantly Rock, I didn't know anyone who liked rock in my shithole country other then my ex, but me and this gal had a talk about Rock music when I didn't know much about rock and she was very passionate about it.

I tried becoming friends with her:

https://looksmax.org/threads/how-do-i-make-this-friend.2221633/

But she...

https://looksmax.org/threads/the-gal-i-wanted-to-be-friends-with-was-laughing-at-me.2225989/#post-30481724.

Now, during this time, since me and my ex are in the same school, we would make eye contact frequently, she would come around me and my class, sometimes even inside it, she would stand on the doorway and hold hands with her friends(Which was extremely brutal ropefuel.)

Now during this vulnerble time, I got addicted to porn, caffiene, and I stole 2 packs of cig from my parents.

But I just started yearning for her, I need that warmth of a human being, the affection a human atleast deserves getting.
Then I saw this...
View attachment 5479671
This completely shattered my view on her, reality, and everything in between.

REFRAIN FROM ANY SEXUAL COMMENTS AS SHE IS A MINOR IN THE PICTURE!!!

​

Now, Veda and Aids were basically throwing stuff at me during English class and I didn't do much other then pick up all the stuff they were trying to throw at me, and then they were asking me to return it and I wanted to laugh and shit but I just threw out a smile.

Then, when they had went to the bathroom I stole their highlighter and shit and blah blah I was sent out the class and shit.

Then when the bel;l rand theperiod was over they came out and started saying some "Depressed Loser Larping" or some bullshit

I had no clue what they were talking about, but now that I look at it I was probably looking like a depressed Loser lonely af. The guys whom I normally talk to were all absent and I was sitting 2 seats behind them in break they were doing some bs too, i don't even remember I tried my bet to for get it.

And one thing WHICH I CAN NOT FORGET, is them basically trying to bully me and I could see myself emotionally break. tear apart in two. They were also saying "You're getting bullied" or sm shit then when I lightly smiled, I saw the Aids look at me with the most pity face ever, a face I can not get out of my memory. I have never seen her look any place similar to that. It was full of pity for me. It was such a pathetic moment I can't even explain this.

They also took my Notebook and stuff but Vedi gave it back in an instant because she could almost feel this lonely radiation around me.

I could see and feel the pity on her face. She tried to disturb me during the break as Her friend Veda was advising her, but she couldn't.

After some time they were sarcasticaly, saying "yo my bad bro I didn't know" or sm shit very sarcastically but deep down the sarcasm I could see they somewhat meant it. Aids was also telling me to go and talk to our mutual friend out of pity of my loneliness.

Then during Computer period they were talking about some "we have a larper behind us" or sm bs

While writing this I'm on the verge of getting a panic attack. My heart feels heavier then a million tons. My breath is irrgular my hands are trembling while writing this. Ever since a child I had never opened up to anyone.

Panic attack reminds me, I used to get an anxiety attack when seeing My ex every here and there.

And deep down I wished to be understood by the people making my life hell. I enjoyed whatever they do/ are doing to be honest, It sort of made me non-schzoid for some time.



ILL MAKE A SMALL PART 2 ABOUT WHAT HHAPPENED YESTERDAY WHICH COMPLETELY BROKE ME AND i started crying in school, lmk for tag

read this, im sorry this happened to you bhai
theses diddy foids bruh



tag me in the next one

 

[Navity]

read this, im sorry this happened to you bhai
theses diddy foids bruh



tag me in the next one

I got you, G

 

[Noriju]

I did used to punch a punching bag a lot. I'll look into going to the GYM

Fighting or martial arts fixed everything for me.
Even a dorky, fat and retarded loser like me found people that i could greet and say hello to with a smile.
I didn’t go there for friends.
And nobody does.
So you shouldn’t expect anything.
But just by being there, consistently, people will naturally respect you and in turn you yourself.
Eventually the wierd tall lanky guy who is abit too goofy to be in the gym - stops being some “wierdo” and becomes your bro.

Everybody should experience (imo) the fellowship of an entire room filled with dudes who have the same goal: train as hard as possible in this moment right now.

You absolutely cannot regret this

 

[Navity]

Fighting or martial arts fixed everything for me.
Even a dorky, fat and retarded loser like me found people that i could greet and say hello to with a smile.
I didn’t go there for friends.
And nobody does.
So you shouldn’t expect anything.
But just by being there, consistently, people will naturally respect you and in turn you yourself.
Everybody should experience (imo) the fellowship of an entire room filled with dudes who have the same goal: train as hard as possible in this moment right now.

You absolutely cannot regret this

The thing is I'm very young and in my ethnic country young people going to the gym is a rare occurance. I will have to go to my dad's gym. I wen to my dads gym 2-3 times and the trainers there kept telling my dad to not allow me to come to the GYM.

 

[Noriju]

The thing is I'm very young and in my ethnic country young people going to the gym is a rare occurance. I will have to go to my dad's gym. I wen to my dads gym 2-3 times and the trainers there kept telling my dad to not allow me to come to the GYM.

How old

 

[Navity]

How old

16

 

[Noriju]

16

Dude what thats some bs niggas start out art 14 in my gym.
Just go to a different one, as long as you pay you’re gucci.
Take them up on those free lessons before u sign up as well.
If you feel scared and vulnerable on your first day, good, that’s exactly how i felt the first 2 months there

 

[Navity]

If you feel scared and vulnerable on your first day, good, that’s exactly how i felt the first 2 months there

I do A LOT! But I'll try it out again, I guess

 

[algerianmogger]

Context:​

For context, they are my ex's friend and ex's bsf (both are female). They are pretty much obsessed with me, the friend, lets call her Aids. the bsf, lets call her Veda.

Now one of Aids life goals is to make my life as miserable as possible, when I pass by her she will scream out laughing with as loud as possible, with her friends near her. she'll talk shit about me & my apperaence to a mutual friend.

And Veda(the bsf) has a crush on my ex and is also her best friend, some time back when I was still dating my ex Veda proposed to my ex, whom we will just call Radio(ex). Now I had Radio's account and saw the messages actively while she was saying it, and I was talking to her not Radio(at the time gf, now ex) while radio was seeing the messages.

And when Radio(my ex) told me she wouldn't cut off Veda(the bsf who proposed) I broke up with radio(my ex) and then got back together after like 10 days or sm.

And she STILL wouldn't cut her off, even though Veda advised radio to, or so Radio claims.

---

---

So, new class comes around, and Veda, Aids and ALL of radio(my ex's friends) are in the same class alongside me.
Now they just begin their silly bullshit, talking about me, now during this time I had gotten EXTREMELY insecure and tried my best to act confidence, suppressing all my emotions, during this time I was also recovering with the break up with my ex(3 years on and off) who was also the only girl who showed me any affection & love.
She was, quite frankly the only 2 people who I could actually talk to.
And, now I only had 1, but oh wait, me and the other person stopped talking, so now I had no one to talk to, meaning I was a alone, insecure, blackpilled, lonely, friendless, ND guy who didn't fit in who had no direction on where to go, was transitioning from a boy to a man, and coped by spending time here. During this very fragile, pathetic and extremely vulnerable time of my life,
who was in a class full of his ex's friends who ensured to make his life a living hell.

---

---

Now I could feel these bitches talk about me, laugh at me, and so did some of my friends and pointed it out.

I also for some reason was very prone to laughing, laughing my ass off at every small thing, becoming almost clingy.

I always had a fear of being too clingy and making people hate me, which was because of my lonely childhood in which I used to cling on to people.

One major reason why I broke up with my ex was also because of the fear of her starting to hate me and being irritated by me. Basically leave her before she leaves me.

---

---

Depressed 21st century schzoid man:

​

Now, during this time I coped with listening to music, spending 1.5hours+ each day every day for about 2-3 months. I listened to youtube videos while sleeping, and when I was awake I just imagined scenarios in my head to cope.

I had grown depressed, anorexic(due to my horrible facial genetics making me hella fat) which was inevitable. I also have a Jewish hooked nose alongside paper thin lips + nasolabial folds. I also have curly hair so I'm an orgemaxxed freak.

Now, skip to some time after, where I'm still depressed and schzoid suppressing all of my emotions, having no one to talk to, replacing my thoughts with song or living in an imaginary world, or as Dostoevosky would call it, a Dreamer.

Spoiler: Dreamer meaning

Character of the Dreamer

• • Total Isolation: He wanders the streets of St. Petersburg, feeling disconnected from real society and preferring the rich fantasies of his own mind.
  • Deep Yearning: He desperately craves connection, understanding, and to be truly seen by another human being.
  • Self-Awareness: He freely admits his condition, famously stating, "I am a dreamer. I know so little of real life that I just can't help re-living such moments as these in my dreams."

Now, there was another gal, Radio's friend who also liked music, and most importantly Rock, I didn't know anyone who liked rock in my shithole country other then my ex, but me and this gal had a talk about Rock music when I didn't know much about rock and she was very passionate about it.

I tried becoming friends with her:

https://looksmax.org/threads/how-do-i-make-this-friend.2221633/

But she...

https://looksmax.org/threads/the-gal-i-wanted-to-be-friends-with-was-laughing-at-me.2225989/#post-30481724.

Now, during this time, since me and my ex are in the same school, we would make eye contact frequently, she would come around me and my class, sometimes even inside it, she would stand on the doorway and hold hands with her friends(Which was extremely brutal ropefuel.)

Now during this vulnerble time, I got addicted to porn, caffiene, and I stole 2 packs of cig from my parents.

But I just started yearning for her, I need that warmth of a human being, the affection a human atleast deserves getting.
Then I saw this...
View attachment 5479671
This completely shattered my view on her, reality, and everything in between.

REFRAIN FROM ANY SEXUAL COMMENTS AS SHE IS A MINOR IN THE PICTURE!!!

​

Now, Veda and Aids were basically throwing stuff at me during English class and I didn't do much other then pick up all the stuff they were trying to throw at me, and then they were asking me to return it and I wanted to laugh and shit but I just threw out a smile.

Then, when they had went to the bathroom I stole their highlighter and shit and blah blah I was sent out the class and shit.

Then when the bel;l rand theperiod was over they came out and started saying some "Depressed Loser Larping" or some bullshit

I had no clue what they were talking about, but now that I look at it I was probably looking like a depressed Loser lonely af. The guys whom I normally talk to were all absent and I was sitting 2 seats behind them in break they were doing some bs too, i don't even remember I tried my bet to for get it.

And one thing WHICH I CAN NOT FORGET, is them basically trying to bully me and I could see myself emotionally break. tear apart in two. They were also saying "You're getting bullied" or sm shit then when I lightly smiled, I saw the Aids look at me with the most pity face ever, a face I can not get out of my memory. I have never seen her look any place similar to that. It was full of pity for me. It was such a pathetic moment I can't even explain this.

They also took my Notebook and stuff but Vedi gave it back in an instant because she could almost feel this lonely radiation around me.

I could see and feel the pity on her face. She tried to disturb me during the break as Her friend Veda was advising her, but she couldn't.

After some time they were sarcasticaly, saying "yo my bad bro I didn't know" or sm shit very sarcastically but deep down the sarcasm I could see they somewhat meant it. Aids was also telling me to go and talk to our mutual friend out of pity of my loneliness.

Then during Computer period they were talking about some "we have a larper behind us" or sm bs

While writing this I'm on the verge of getting a panic attack. My heart feels heavier then a million tons. My breath is irrgular my hands are trembling while writing this. Ever since a child I had never opened up to anyone.

Panic attack reminds me, I used to get an anxiety attack when seeing My ex every here and there.

And deep down I wished to be understood by the people making my life hell. I enjoyed whatever they do/ are doing to be honest, It sort of made me non-schzoid for some time.



ILL MAKE A SMALL PART 2 ABOUT WHAT HHAPPENED YESTERDAY WHICH COMPLETELY BROKE ME AND i started crying in school, lmk for tag

 

[Noriju]

I do A LOT! But I'll try it out again, I guess

Very good very good

 

[Navity]

Very good very good

Will load up on some pushups n shit first

 

[sub5withgf]

DNR ID RAPE THEM

 

[Iamsobased]

holy fucking DNR