Ultimate Gooning Guide (Nonsexhavers gtfih)

[UMIRINBRAH?]

Look Fellas, Life can simply be too tough on us mortals sometimes, and this is the best solution I've found to get through those days where I simply fail to distract myself from the utter pointlessness of every fucking second we spend on earth.

Mandatory Background Music



What You Will Need

1. Alcohol

Spoiler: The RIght Amount

Well You Need Enough TO Get You Not Just Tipsy Bu Drunk.

However, It's safer to have enough alcohol to get blacked out incase you need it.

I would opt for the cheapest but strongest alcohol so I get the most bang for my buck.

For me it would usually be about 250ml of 33% vodka to get drunk, about 500ml to black out

2.Condoms

Spoiler: Stay With Me Now

Fellas you are gonna need this, because the last thing you should be doing to goon like a pro is use your hands or use a sock

Go for the thinnest and cheapest possible ones, have atleast 4 for the session as there's definitely a chance you will need 2 per nut due to breakage by friction

3.Pillows + Bedding

Spoiler: Creating Pillowussy

Basic Stuff Fellas, you roll up your bed sheet/ comforter to the shape of a tube, tight enough to feel it with your dick but soft enough to make i feel like flesh. Then place it between the pillows and almost compress it to prevent it unwinding

4.Porn

Nothing To Be Said, I usually tune to CuckPov imagining my onetis and her best friend

5.Music

Search Up "Drunk Playlist" on spotify, have it playing seperately in the background or mi and match the sounds of the content in step 4.

TIMING AND STRATEGY

Spoiler: Where Everything Comes Togethor

You need to be tipsy enough but not drunk when you started going at it, based on research you would take a shot every 30-45 minutes. On top of getting you into a state of deeper relaxation, this will prolong yor session because you will start feeling less and less sensation down there.

IMPORTANT: I would ideally wan to be 20% in the Drunk to Blackout Stage By Time Of FIrst Nut ( Enjoy The Music Post Nut Till You Recharge)

Tips: Tune Into Your Favourite Netflix Movie While Recharging

NUT 2: If your dick isn't sore by now, you went towards nut 1 an absolute noob. This will feel way harder especially because you will be more drunk and less driven at the same time after the first bust, so I suggest upping the porn intensity to a split screen minimum or super situmulating caption images you will think abou with your eyes closed.

Additional

-Order Your Favorite High Fat Fast Food
-Have a lot of water ready to drink post nut to prevent crazy hangover
-Mix In Monster/ Redbull With Your Shots
- Put Up DIsco Lights on Your TV Screen and close it with a Towel, transparent enough to still show color in a room with no lights.

That's It Fellas. Enjoy

​

 

[UMIRINBRAH?]

Bump

 

[truejamal]

Not doing allat

 

[registerfasterusing]

Nigga..

 

[UMIRINBRAH?]

bump

 

[Toggle9877]

Reading all molecule

 

[anxiety]

Look Fellas, Life can simply be too tough on us mortals sometimes, and this is the best solution I've found to get through those days where I simply fail to distract myself from the utter pointlessness of every fucking second we spend on earth.

Mandatory Background Music



What You Will Need

1. Alcohol

Spoiler: The RIght Amount

Well You Need Enough TO Get You Not Just Tipsy Bu Drunk.

However, It's safer to have enough alcohol to get blacked out incase you need it.

I would opt for the cheapest but strongest alcohol so I get the most bang for my buck.

For me it would usually be about 250ml of 33% vodka to get drunk, about 500ml to black out

2.Condoms

Spoiler: Stay With Me Now

Fellas you are gonna need this, because the last thing you should be doing to goon like a pro is use your hands or use a sock

Go for the thinnest and cheapest possible ones, have atleast 4 for the session as there's definitely a chance you will need 2 per nut due to breakage by friction

3.Pillows + Bedding

Spoiler: Creating Pillowussy

Basic Stuff Fellas, you roll up your bed sheet/ comforter to the shape of a tube, tight enough to feel it with your dick but soft enough to make i feel like flesh. Then place it between the pillows and almost compress it to prevent it unwinding

4.Porn

Nothing To Be Said, I usually tune to CuckPov imagining my onetis and her best friend

5.Music

Search Up "Drunk Playlist" on spotify, have it playing seperately in the background or mi and match the sounds of the content in step 4.

TIMING AND STRATEGY

Spoiler: Where Everything Comes Togethor

You need to be tipsy enough but not drunk when you started going at it, based on research you would take a shot every 30-45 minutes. On top of getting you into a state of deeper relaxation, this will prolong yor session because you will start feeling less and less sensation down there.

IMPORTANT: I would ideally wan to be 20% in the Drunk to Blackout Stage By Time Of FIrst Nut ( Enjoy The Music Post Nut Till You Recharge)

Tips: Tune Into Your Favourite Netflix Movie While Recharging

NUT 2: If your dick isn't sore by now, you went towards nut 1 an absolute noob. This will feel way harder especially because you will be more drunk and less driven at the same time after the first bust, so I suggest upping the porn intensity to a split screen minimum or super situmulating caption images you will think abou with your eyes closed.

Additional

-Order Your Favorite High Fat Fast Food
-Have a lot of water ready to drink post nut to prevent crazy hangover
-Mix In Monster/ Redbull With Your Shots
- Put Up DIsco Lights on Your TV Screen and close it with a Towel, transparent enough to still show color in a room with no lights.

That's It Fellas. Enjoy

​

Bro, just get a slut already if u so obsessed with sex

 

[310reqiuem_]

get a job nigga

 

[UMIRINBRAH?]

no

get a job nigga

 

[asdvek]

Hang yourself from the ceiling

 

[canthus]

Look Fellas, Life can simply be too tough on us mortals sometimes, and this is the best solution I've found to get through those days where I simply fail to distract myself from the utter pointlessness of every fucking second we spend on earth.

Mandatory Background Music



What You Will Need

1. Alcohol

Spoiler: The RIght Amount

Well You Need Enough TO Get You Not Just Tipsy Bu Drunk.

However, It's safer to have enough alcohol to get blacked out incase you need it.

I would opt for the cheapest but strongest alcohol so I get the most bang for my buck.

For me it would usually be about 250ml of 33% vodka to get drunk, about 500ml to black out

2.Condoms

Spoiler: Stay With Me Now

Fellas you are gonna need this, because the last thing you should be doing to goon like a pro is use your hands or use a sock

Go for the thinnest and cheapest possible ones, have atleast 4 for the session as there's definitely a chance you will need 2 per nut due to breakage by friction

3.Pillows + Bedding

Spoiler: Creating Pillowussy

Basic Stuff Fellas, you roll up your bed sheet/ comforter to the shape of a tube, tight enough to feel it with your dick but soft enough to make i feel like flesh. Then place it between the pillows and almost compress it to prevent it unwinding

4.Porn

Nothing To Be Said, I usually tune to CuckPov imagining my onetis and her best friend

5.Music

Search Up "Drunk Playlist" on spotify, have it playing seperately in the background or mi and match the sounds of the content in step 4.

TIMING AND STRATEGY

Spoiler: Where Everything Comes Togethor

You need to be tipsy enough but not drunk when you started going at it, based on research you would take a shot every 30-45 minutes. On top of getting you into a state of deeper relaxation, this will prolong yor session because you will start feeling less and less sensation down there.

IMPORTANT: I would ideally wan to be 20% in the Drunk to Blackout Stage By Time Of FIrst Nut ( Enjoy The Music Post Nut Till You Recharge)

Tips: Tune Into Your Favourite Netflix Movie While Recharging

NUT 2: If your dick isn't sore by now, you went towards nut 1 an absolute noob. This will feel way harder especially because you will be more drunk and less driven at the same time after the first bust, so I suggest upping the porn intensity to a split screen minimum or super situmulating caption images you will think abou with your eyes closed.

Additional

-Order Your Favorite High Fat Fast Food
-Have a lot of water ready to drink post nut to prevent crazy hangover
-Mix In Monster/ Redbull With Your Shots
- Put Up DIsco Lights on Your TV Screen and close it with a Towel, transparent enough to still show color in a room with no lights.

That's It Fellas. Enjoy

​

I don't like gooning cuz it hurts

 

[VohnnyBoy]

nah nigga imma just jerk off in bathroom

 

[iblamexyz]

Look Fellas, Life can simply be too tough on us mortals sometimes, and this is the best solution I've found to get through those days where I simply fail to distract myself from the utter pointlessness of every fucking second we spend on earth.

Mandatory Background Music



What You Will Need

1. Alcohol

Spoiler: The RIght Amount

Well You Need Enough TO Get You Not Just Tipsy Bu Drunk.

However, It's safer to have enough alcohol to get blacked out incase you need it.

I would opt for the cheapest but strongest alcohol so I get the most bang for my buck.

For me it would usually be about 250ml of 33% vodka to get drunk, about 500ml to black out

2.Condoms

Spoiler: Stay With Me Now

Fellas you are gonna need this, because the last thing you should be doing to goon like a pro is use your hands or use a sock

Go for the thinnest and cheapest possible ones, have atleast 4 for the session as there's definitely a chance you will need 2 per nut due to breakage by friction

3.Pillows + Bedding

Spoiler: Creating Pillowussy

Basic Stuff Fellas, you roll up your bed sheet/ comforter to the shape of a tube, tight enough to feel it with your dick but soft enough to make i feel like flesh. Then place it between the pillows and almost compress it to prevent it unwinding

4.Porn

Nothing To Be Said, I usually tune to CuckPov imagining my onetis and her best friend

5.Music

Search Up "Drunk Playlist" on spotify, have it playing seperately in the background or mi and match the sounds of the content in step 4.

TIMING AND STRATEGY

Spoiler: Where Everything Comes Togethor

You need to be tipsy enough but not drunk when you started going at it, based on research you would take a shot every 30-45 minutes. On top of getting you into a state of deeper relaxation, this will prolong yor session because you will start feeling less and less sensation down there.

IMPORTANT: I would ideally wan to be 20% in the Drunk to Blackout Stage By Time Of FIrst Nut ( Enjoy The Music Post Nut Till You Recharge)

Tips: Tune Into Your Favourite Netflix Movie While Recharging

NUT 2: If your dick isn't sore by now, you went towards nut 1 an absolute noob. This will feel way harder especially because you will be more drunk and less driven at the same time after the first bust, so I suggest upping the porn intensity to a split screen minimum or super situmulating caption images you will think abou with your eyes closed.

Additional

-Order Your Favorite High Fat Fast Food
-Have a lot of water ready to drink post nut to prevent crazy hangover
-Mix In Monster/ Redbull With Your Shots
- Put Up DIsco Lights on Your TV Screen and close it with a Towel, transparent enough to still show color in a room with no lights.

That's It Fellas. Enjoy

​

Based guide and based for watching cuck porn

 

[Jatt]

I usually tune to CuckPov imagining my onetis and her best friend

​

High T

 

[Deleted member 121723]

bookmarked. might do this if i ever hit rock bottom

 

[infini]

“Looksmax.org”

As long as only non Germanic's are doing this than it’s fine.

 

[UMIRINBRAH?]

Hang yourself from the ceiling

It's Okay Nigga I know u bookmarked ts

 

[UMIRINBRAH?]

nah nigga imma just jerk off in bathroom

rookie

 

[UMIRINBRAH?]

Reading all molecule

nigga learnt this from Tiktok

 

[UMIRINBRAH?]

Bro, just get a slut already if u so obsessed with sex

why get a slut when u can goon for free nigga

 

[Iraniancel]

@dranja @Сигма Бой

 

[dranja]

only read the alcohol part and already its cope
i normally drink 450 ml vodka in 30 minutes to get tipsy before a party and maybe another 120 ml to get really drunk and then another 120 ml to black out / cant even walk and talk normal

@dranja @Сигма Бой

 

[Toggle9877]

nigga learnt this from Tiktok

Shut your homosexual ass up nigga

 

[OneCopDayKepRopAway]

bookmarked. might do this if i ever hit rock bottom

Geocel

 

[UMIRINBRAH?]

bump

 

[liberty]

gooning is dangerous, ive had times where i did it too much and felt like i had an endorphin deficit the next day, its brutal

 

[UMIRINBRAH?]

the you goon again that day nigga

gooning is dangerous, ive had times where i did it too much and felt like i had an endorphin deficit the next day, its brutaly

 

[liberty]

the you goon again that day nigga

its impossible if u feel like you have an endorphin deficit cause you dont feel anything + no libido

 

[browncurrycel]

I usually tune to CuckPov imagining my onetis and her best friend

good thread.

 

[Сигма Бой]

Look Fellas, Life can simply be too tough on us mortals sometimes, and this is the best solution I've found to get through those days where I simply fail to distract myself from the utter pointlessness of every fucking second we spend on earth.

Mandatory Background Music



What You Will Need

1. Alcohol

Spoiler: The RIght Amount

Well You Need Enough TO Get You Not Just Tipsy Bu Drunk.

However, It's safer to have enough alcohol to get blacked out incase you need it.

I would opt for the cheapest but strongest alcohol so I get the most bang for my buck.

For me it would usually be about 250ml of 33% vodka to get drunk, about 500ml to black out

2.Condoms

Spoiler: Stay With Me Now

Fellas you are gonna need this, because the last thing you should be doing to goon like a pro is use your hands or use a sock

Go for the thinnest and cheapest possible ones, have atleast 4 for the session as there's definitely a chance you will need 2 per nut due to breakage by friction

3.Pillows + Bedding

Spoiler: Creating Pillowussy

Basic Stuff Fellas, you roll up your bed sheet/ comforter to the shape of a tube, tight enough to feel it with your dick but soft enough to make i feel like flesh. Then place it between the pillows and almost compress it to prevent it unwinding

4.Porn

Nothing To Be Said, I usually tune to CuckPov imagining my onetis and her best friend

5.Music

Search Up "Drunk Playlist" on spotify, have it playing seperately in the background or mi and match the sounds of the content in step 4.

TIMING AND STRATEGY

Spoiler: Where Everything Comes Togethor

You need to be tipsy enough but not drunk when you started going at it, based on research you would take a shot every 30-45 minutes. On top of getting you into a state of deeper relaxation, this will prolong yor session because you will start feeling less and less sensation down there.

IMPORTANT: I would ideally wan to be 20% in the Drunk to Blackout Stage By Time Of FIrst Nut ( Enjoy The Music Post Nut Till You Recharge)

Tips: Tune Into Your Favourite Netflix Movie While Recharging

NUT 2: If your dick isn't sore by now, you went towards nut 1 an absolute noob. This will feel way harder especially because you will be more drunk and less driven at the same time after the first bust, so I suggest upping the porn intensity to a split screen minimum or super situmulating caption images you will think abou with your eyes closed.

Additional

-Order Your Favorite High Fat Fast Food
-Have a lot of water ready to drink post nut to prevent crazy hangover
-Mix In Monster/ Redbull With Your Shots
- Put Up DIsco Lights on Your TV Screen and close it with a Towel, transparent enough to still show color in a room with no lights.

That's It Fellas. Enjoy

​

Alcohol iz 4 adultz.

 

[Сигма Бой]

Aze @ NoFab.

 

[dranja]

Alcohol iz 4 adultz.

cope

 

[Сигма Бой]

cope

Niggafact.

 

[dranja]

Niggafact.

arent u russian u are drinking vodka by the age of 14 same as a lot of western europe countries

 

[Сигма Бой]

arent u russian u are drinking vodka by the age of 14 same as a lot of western europe countries

Niggacope.

 

[iblameautistickids]

this is why i quit gooning too many sweats

 

[UMIRINBRAH?]

Major Bump

 

[UMIRINBRAH?]

Carrying org

 

[menas]

Look Fellas, Life can simply be too tough on us mortals sometimes, and this is the best solution I've found to get through those days where I simply fail to distract myself from the utter pointlessness of every fucking second we spend on earth.

Mandatory Background Music



What You Will Need

1. Alcohol

Spoiler: The RIght Amount

Well You Need Enough TO Get You Not Just Tipsy Bu Drunk.

However, It's safer to have enough alcohol to get blacked out incase you need it.

I would opt for the cheapest but strongest alcohol so I get the most bang for my buck.

For me it would usually be about 250ml of 33% vodka to get drunk, about 500ml to black out

2.Condoms

Spoiler: Stay With Me Now

Fellas you are gonna need this, because the last thing you should be doing to goon like a pro is use your hands or use a sock

Go for the thinnest and cheapest possible ones, have atleast 4 for the session as there's definitely a chance you will need 2 per nut due to breakage by friction

3.Pillows + Bedding

Spoiler: Creating Pillowussy

Basic Stuff Fellas, you roll up your bed sheet/ comforter to the shape of a tube, tight enough to feel it with your dick but soft enough to make i feel like flesh. Then place it between the pillows and almost compress it to prevent it unwinding

4.Porn

Nothing To Be Said, I usually tune to CuckPov imagining my onetis and her best friend

5.Music

Search Up "Drunk Playlist" on spotify, have it playing seperately in the background or mi and match the sounds of the content in step 4.

TIMING AND STRATEGY

Spoiler: Where Everything Comes Togethor

You need to be tipsy enough but not drunk when you started going at it, based on research you would take a shot every 30-45 minutes. On top of getting you into a state of deeper relaxation, this will prolong yor session because you will start feeling less and less sensation down there.

IMPORTANT: I would ideally wan to be 20% in the Drunk to Blackout Stage By Time Of FIrst Nut ( Enjoy The Music Post Nut Till You Recharge)

Tips: Tune Into Your Favourite Netflix Movie While Recharging

NUT 2: If your dick isn't sore by now, you went towards nut 1 an absolute noob. This will feel way harder especially because you will be more drunk and less driven at the same time after the first bust, so I suggest upping the porn intensity to a split screen minimum or super situmulating caption images you will think abou with your eyes closed.

Additional

-Order Your Favorite High Fat Fast Food
-Have a lot of water ready to drink post nut to prevent crazy hangover
-Mix In Monster/ Redbull With Your Shots
- Put Up DIsco Lights on Your TV Screen and close it with a Towel, transparent enough to still show color in a room with no lights.

That's It Fellas. Enjoy

​

Botb Worthy.

 

[UMIRINBRAH?]

bump

 

[UMIRINBRAH?]

bump

 

[UMIRINBRAH?]

botb this already niggas

 

[inversions]

Dnr

 

[UMIRINBRAH?]

w

Dnr

didn't u make a thread saying its your last one niggerr?

 

[inversions]

w

didn't u make a thread saying its your last one niggerr?

Last one as a grey buddy.

 

[UMIRINBRAH?]

Last one as a grey buddy.

 

[inversions]

Whats that grey? Sorry i dnr.

 

[Copercel]

Look Fellas, Life can simply be too tough on us mortals sometimes, and this is the best solution I've found to get through those days where I simply fail to distract myself from the utter pointlessness of every fucking second we spend on earth.

Mandatory Background Music



What You Will Need

1. Alcohol

Spoiler: The RIght Amount

Well You Need Enough TO Get You Not Just Tipsy Bu Drunk.

However, It's safer to have enough alcohol to get blacked out incase you need it.

I would opt for the cheapest but strongest alcohol so I get the most bang for my buck.

For me it would usually be about 250ml of 33% vodka to get drunk, about 500ml to black out

2.Condoms

Spoiler: Stay With Me Now

Fellas you are gonna need this, because the last thing you should be doing to goon like a pro is use your hands or use a sock

Go for the thinnest and cheapest possible ones, have atleast 4 for the session as there's definitely a chance you will need 2 per nut due to breakage by friction

3.Pillows + Bedding

Spoiler: Creating Pillowussy

Basic Stuff Fellas, you roll up your bed sheet/ comforter to the shape of a tube, tight enough to feel it with your dick but soft enough to make i feel like flesh. Then place it between the pillows and almost compress it to prevent it unwinding

4.Porn

Nothing To Be Said, I usually tune to CuckPov imagining my onetis and her best friend

5.Music

Search Up "Drunk Playlist" on spotify, have it playing seperately in the background or mi and match the sounds of the content in step 4.

TIMING AND STRATEGY

Spoiler: Where Everything Comes Togethor

You need to be tipsy enough but not drunk when you started going at it, based on research you would take a shot every 30-45 minutes. On top of getting you into a state of deeper relaxation, this will prolong yor session because you will start feeling less and less sensation down there.

IMPORTANT: I would ideally wan to be 20% in the Drunk to Blackout Stage By Time Of FIrst Nut ( Enjoy The Music Post Nut Till You Recharge)

Tips: Tune Into Your Favourite Netflix Movie While Recharging

NUT 2: If your dick isn't sore by now, you went towards nut 1 an absolute noob. This will feel way harder especially because you will be more drunk and less driven at the same time after the first bust, so I suggest upping the porn intensity to a split screen minimum or super situmulating caption images you will think abou with your eyes closed.

Additional

-Order Your Favorite High Fat Fast Food
-Have a lot of water ready to drink post nut to prevent crazy hangover
-Mix In Monster/ Redbull With Your Shots
- Put Up DIsco Lights on Your TV Screen and close it with a Towel, transparent enough to still show color in a room with no lights.

That's It Fellas. Enjoy

​

Just goon bruh

 

[UMIRINBRAH?]

Just goon bruh

 

[cannotbeasked]

I can’t get my dick up on alcohol shit guide