brushstrokecrusader
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ULTIMATE GUIDE TO SOCIAL INTERACTION - Thread
(Disclaimer)
(Disclaimer)
THREAD MUSIC:intro
For many users on this website, talking to normies can be extremely difficult.
In reality, social interaction is not nearly as complicated as people make it seem, and it can usually be improved with practice.
In this thread, I will explain how to start, maintain, and end conversations in different social settings. The main focus will be interacting with people around your own age, although I will also cover talking to coworkers, classmates, strangers, and groups.
The goal is not to teach you how to manipulate people or pretend to have a completely different personality. The goal is to help you understand how relationships naturally progress, how to recognize whether someone enjoys talking to you, and how to avoid common mistakes that make interactions uncomfortable.
(this guide will get easier and require less effort the taller and more attrative you are, dont attempt with men if lltn or lower, dont attempt with women if lhtn or lower [meeting women while lhtn or lower usually happens thru a mututal friend group rather than a cold approach interaction])
1. Starting the Interaction
(THIS IS THE MOST AWKWARD PART)*
Your opening does not need to be funny, original, or impressive. It only needs to be appropriate for the situation.
The easiest openings are based on something that both of you can currently see or experience.
Examples:
- “Do you know what we’re supposed to be doing?”
- “Have you had this teacher before?”
- “How long have you been coming here?”
- “What are you playing?”
- “Are you going to the thing on Friday?”
Do not spend ten minutes planning the perfect opening. The opening is only meant to begin the conversation.
*If you have trouble with the awkwardness of this part of the interaction I have some methods listed in this thread to help
2. Continuing the Conversation
Here is also a very important step, once the conversation starts you need to listen/feel for something that could continue the interaction.For example:
“Im probably gonna join the [sport] team”
Possible follow-ups include:
- “Why do you want to start?”
- “Is it difficult?”
- “Have you ever played before?”
- “I have a [insert relationship] on that team”
3. Contributing Your Own Information
A conversation should NEVER feel like an interrogation.(this could shut down a lot of potential social interaction with this person in the future)
Bad example:
Better example:
After they answer, you can say:
This gives the other person something to respond to and allows them to learn about you as well.
A useful rule is:
Ask something, react to their answer, and then add something of your own.
4. Showing That You Are Intrestded
Many of you are ND, myself included, while you may be intently listening while paying attention to something out the window, thats now how they see it.You can show interest by:
- Looking at them while they speak
- Nodding occasionally
- Reacting naturally
- Asking relevant follow-up questions
- Remembering details they previously mentioned
5. Recognizing Whether They Want to Talk
Good signs include:- They give more than one-word answers (if they are giving one word answers it maybe time to end the interaction)
- They ask questions about you
- They introduce new topics (great sign)
- They smile or laugh naturally
- They remain near you when they could leave
- They approach you again on another occasion (another great sign)
6. Ending the Interaction
Not every conversation needs to last a long time. Ending an interaction normally is better than forcing it until both people become uncomfortable.Examples:
- “Alright, I’ll see you later.”
- “I’m going to get back to what I was doing. Good talking to you.”
- “I have to go, but I’ll see you tomorrow.”
- “I’m going to find my friends. See you around.”
The purpose of your first interaction is rarely to immediately become close friends. The purpose is usually to make the second interaction possible.
Part 2: Meeting People and Becoming Acquaintances
Before you can make friends, you need to regularly be around people.Sometimes you may expect friendship to happen without activley working towards it.
This will not help as usually you need to be the one to approach them for another interaction,
Most friendships do not begin with an incredible conversation. They begin because two people repeatedly see each other in the same place.
1. Repeated Interaction Is Extremely Important
People usually become more comfortable with someone simply because they see them regularly.This is why friendships commonly form through:
- School or college
- Work
- Sports teams
- Clubs
- Gyms
- Churches or community groups
- Parties and social events
- Mutual friends
- Gaming communities
- Hobby groups
For example, the progression might look like this:
Stranger → familiar face → occasional conversation → acquaintance → friend
Trying to skip directly from stranger to close friend will often make you appear overly eager.
(This has happened to me on occasion, miserable experience if you are too eager
)1. Repeated Interaction Is Extremely Important
People usually become more comfortable with someone simply because they see them regularly.This is why friendships commonly form through:
- School or college
- Work
- Sports teams
- Clubs
- Gyms
- Churches or community groups
- Parties and social events
- Mutual friends
- Gaming communities
- Hobby groups
For example, the progression might look like this:
Stranger → familiar face → occasional conversation → acquaintance → friend
Trying to skip directly from stranger to close friend will often make you appear overly eager.
2. Use Your Current Environment
The easiest place to meet people is usually somewhere you already go.If you are in school, you can talk to:
(these vary in the risk of being socially rejected which makes future interaction with others way harder)
- The person sitting beside you (risky)
- Someone in a group assignment (2nd lowest risk)
- Someone who arrives early to class (not very risky)
- People who participate in the same club or sport (lowest risk)
- Friends of people you already know (pretty low risk)
- Coworkers during breaks (no risk)
- Someone doing the same task as you (low risk)
- New employees (low risk)
- People working similar shifts (lowish tisk)
- Coworkers before or after work (mild risk)
Examples:
You do not need to invent an unrelated topic when the environment already provides one.
3. Become a Regular
Frequently appearing in the same place makes social interaction easier.Going to a club once and never returning will probably not create any relationships. Attending regularly allows people to recognize you and gives you multiple opportunities to talk.
This is especially useful if you struggle with approaching strangers. By the third or fourth time you see someone, they are no longer a complete stranger.
Try to:
- Attend at roughly the same time
- Speak to some of the same people
- Learn and remember their names (should be obvious, important regardless)
- Greet them when you see them again
- Gradually make conversations longer
4. Moving From Small Talk to Familiarity
Small talk is not supposed to be the entire relationship. Its purpose is to discover topics you can discuss more deeply.You may begin by talking about class and eventually discover that both of you:
- Play the same game
- Listen to similar music
- Support the same team
- Go to the gym
- Watch the same type of videos
- Have similar humor
- Dislike the same teacher
- Attend the same events
For example:
Shared interests make repeated interaction feel natural.*
*I reccomend geting into fishing, requires no speaking and is a mutual activity for a lot of people. also very fun.
5. Joining Group Conversations
Group conversations can be more difficult because you need to find an appropriate moment to enter.The easiest groups to join are ones containing at least one person you already know.
Approach the person you know, listen briefly to understand the topic, and then contribute when you have something relevant to say.
Do not walk into a group and immediately attempt to control the entire conversation.
Good ways to enter include:
- Reacting to something funny
- Asking what they are discussing
- Adding a relevant experience
- Answering a question directed toward the group
- Greeting someone you know
They will usually explain the context, which gives you a way into the conversation.
If the group repeatedly ignores you, do not stand there silently for twenty minutes. Leave normally and try again in a different situation.
6. Joining Group Conversations (MODERATE RISK)
(this method is usually most needed at things like parties & large interactions eg school dance/office party)Group conversations can be more difficult because you need to find an appropriate moment to enter.
The easiest groups to join are ones containing at least one person you already know.
Approach the person you know, listen briefly to understand the topic, and then contribute when you have something relevant to say.
Do not walk into a group and immediately attempt to control the entire conversation.
Good ways to enter include:
- Reacting to something funny
- Asking what they are discussing
- Adding a relevant experience
- Answering a question directed toward the group
- Greeting someone you know
They will usually explain the context, which gives you a way into the conversation.
If the group repeatedly ignores you, do not stand there silently for twenty minutes. Leave normally and try again in a different situation.
7. Meeting People Through Mutual Friends
Mutual friends are one of the easiest ways to expand your social circle.When a friend introduces you to someone, that person already has a reason to assume you are relatively normal and trustworthy.
You can ask your friend basic questions beforehand:
- “How do you know him?”
- “Does she go to our school?”
You can later say:
This makes it easier to see the person again without forcing anything.
Part 3: Online interaction with IRL's
1. Snapchat
For younger men this will be the best method and requires NO SPEAKING AT ALL I love snapchat because you essentialy send pictures back and forth to eachother without saying A SINGLE WORD what could be better?
Types of pictures in snapchat:
Full face: typical for closer friends or friends that you talk to frequently
half face: this one you will never really use unless talking to a girl
side of body/shoulder: usually to keep "streaks" or for aquaintences
landscape, car window building, sidewalk, etc: similar meaning to side of body pic, follow up with a similar pic or side of body pic.
black: only really used by girls tbh, means dnr
2. Video games
Playing video games, especiallly in person is a great option for social interaction, I reccomend combat games, especcialy fortnite.
4.Misc Methods
1. Just do it, realize that being lonley is much worse than minor social rejection.
2. Pregabalin, if you must do it rarley and only when approaching a girl at a party or something similar
Conclusion
This requires a lot of repition to be perfect at, remeber to work hard at this.You do not need to become the funniest, most confident, or most interesting person in the room.
You mainly need to:
- Put yourself in situations where you regularly meet people
- Start simple conversations
- Listen and contribute
- Notice whether the other person is interested
- Speak to them again
- Allow the relationship to develop naturally
Your first attempts may be awkward. You may say something stupid, misunderstand someone, get ignored, or fail to continue a conversation. The only way to become less awkward is to continue interacting despite these experiences.
Reading this thread will not improve your social life by itself. You must actually leave your room, enter social environments, speak to people, and gain experience.
The objective is not to never experience awkwardness. The objective is to stop allowing awkwardness to control your life.
