BigJimsWornOutTires
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An expert researcher at the University of Pigeons believes these medication threads mean only one thing, “When a man increases too much serotonin inside his brain or manipulate its chemistry with antidepressants, rather desiring a wet, juicy pussy to lick, he hungers for a hard cock inside his mouth.” Dr. Roy Mason Files explained. “But a cisgender, formerly known as heterosexual, he knows that’s gay as fuck. So to camouflage the shame of this artificial lust, he’ll don women’s clothes and convince himself that he’s a girl. And thus, a girl can’t be a faggot wanting dick.”
These threads were recently discovered by me when I was addressing a problem I’ve been experiencing that’s getting worse. I understand that if I don’t do something about this soon, I will die. So on Monday, I found these threads and quickly gathered a team of experts to confront this pickle instead of taking better care of myself.
Heath Richardson, an engineer at Starfish Industries, one of the leading innovators in portable sanitation in Portland, estimates the threads are a depopulation tactic, and he added, “When I design porta potties, I’m thinking about faggot sex. I make sure that there is enough room over the shithole for the receiver to arch his back. Then I make sure there is enough space for the giver’s thrust when pounding the Reddit member.”
The engineer said he wasn’t aware of how uncommon the threads were until he spoke to me. I assured him that it was rare. He agreed, “Okay-dokey, sounds good with me, buddy.”
However, a skeptic, who’s also a pet groomer from Mississippi, Amy’s Dogfood said, “Just look at the dates of the threads. Something written two years ago is considered archived and history, not rare.” Quickly, I pressed my hand into her face, and she swept it away. She blurted, “The fuck is wrong with you, dude?” The dog fucker then tried slapping me while saying, “Don’t ever put your hands on me again, asshole!” By instinct, I punched her in the gut. She fell to her knees while embracing her stomach. I stuck my tongue out to dispatch special forces—a crowd of Muslim men manifested from thin air. With my eyebrows raised, without speaking a word, I gestured to them that she was not wearing a hijab. They lifted her onto their shoulders and took her into an abandoned building. The last feller closed the door and stood in front of it. He folded his arms as a feminine voice yelled from inside, “Stop it! Stop it!”
The Bottom Line
Antidepressants, antipsychotics, and antianxiety medications can help people who have run out of options. But the average person shouldn’t need any drugs if they’re coping with this virtual reality disguised as life without resistance. Though if the person is young and experiencing peer pressure or feeling weird around people with their phones pointed at their faces, they shouldn’t need meds. He’s not weird; everyone else is! So if he’s mentally fit and takes drugs designed for last resort, an adverse reaction will likely happen, leading to a dress, makeup, and wig. Before he realizes the true nature of Big Pharma, he’ll be on Reddit writing, “Muh medication side effects.”
