Unironic jelqmaxxing guide

EGGY 1671u32g

EGGY 1671u32g

mtn with height halo
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Good afternoon saars, today i present my penis jelqmaxxing guide for dickcels

Introduction
people will want to cope but the truth is being a chad wont matter if the second after sex they delete ur number because ur dick wasnt big enough or ur stroke game was lacking / u didnt last long. Imagine this, ur finally a chad after $300,000 of surgery and u slay stacy, only for her to never talk to u again cuz u didnt lay pipe. Your penis is literally your sexual organ, its what sex was centered around so your dick must ascend with you.

So ive spent my time researching this to create the perfect jelqmaxxing guide

Part 1 The warm up
DO NOT SKIP THIS UNLESS U WANT TO RUIN UR DICK AND GET Hard flaccid(bad condition caused by nerve damage)
First u need to loosen everything up, get a towel and soak it in very hot water for a minutes and wrap it on ur dick till it looses most of its heat, repeat as necessary till ur dick feels loosey goosey.

So ur gonna start by grabbing ur penis with ur thump and pointer finger going around the base to meet each other, using ur other hand use your thumb and pointer finger to do the same with just under ur tip. Now pull ur dick out stretched but not to the point of it really tugging. Next make wide circular motions with the tip keeping the tension. Do 20 rotations then take a 1 minute break and repeat for 4 sets.

Then let go of the base and pull straight down but not too hard, just a decent stretch. Hold for 5 minutes and do for 2 sets.


Now ur fully warmed up and u wont snap ur dick ligaments.

Part 2 The stretch
Theres 2 main types of stretches, static and non static. Non static stretches arent good.

Heres ur bread and butter.

V stretches
User grips (palm facing up) between shaft and glans. Glans free of blood. User then places thumb/fingers on mid-shaft and pushes. User then dwells on the push against the shaft.

Side to side
User grips between glans and shaft, with grip just tight enough to prevent glans from slipping through OK grip. Glans squeezed free from blood. Glans is pulled back and forth from left to right in repetitions.


For both of these do 5-8 sets of 50 reps holding 5 seconds for each rep.

Part 3 Cooldown
Just repeat ur warm up without the hot towel part

Repeat this 3x a week for a few months and most people will notice after about 6 months half an inch to an inch gained

Part 4 EQ
Basically all this is is telling u too hit the gym and fix ur diet so ur erection quality is better. EQ is probably the first thing to focus on since it gives the fastest results. If ur young and healthy it wont change a huge amount tho.

Conclusion/final thoughts/should you do this
The truth is if ur over 6.5 inches u have little reason to do this unless u have insane amounts of free time its really not worth if even if the risk is minuscule since its not worth the time invested. I did it for a month for the sole reason of making this thread even though i dont really need it. In my experience i gained 0.1-0.2 inches which isnt noticeable but it was only too prove my theory.

Relevant info/links to use/other shit
r/ajelqforyou is a good starting point

Youtuber "DocHink" is a great source as hes actually a doctor

This reddit thread of safety ratings
 
Last edited:
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  • JFL
Reactions: bluderbra, PickleTheSlayer and onlyhereforthehair
@KevinDurder
 
this guide helped me ascend from a meatcel to a BBC Tyrone
 
  • JFL
Reactions: northern mogger
0.1-0.2 inches is measuring error
 
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Reactions: northern mogger and Costcosuperstore
0.1-0.2 inches is measuring error
not really its taken over multiple measurements + literally backed by science and an actual doctor says it works
 
Please refer to R/Gettingbigger if ur actually serious about PE.
 
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Reactions: princeofpeace
Is it just for length or can it also do girth?
 
PE IS A COPE THIS IS NOT AN ATTEMPT TO GATEKEEP
 
cope


This guys forum post explains the actual reason jelqing "works". Its the constant bloodflow in a flacid state and not the autistic dick breaking stretching.
 
Thank the Lord i dont have to do this shit
 
  • +1
Reactions: clarksonoid

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