soapbubble
bitter
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- Jan 13, 2026
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I (19M) lied about my height to my girlfriend (19F) 3years ago and now I don't know how to tell her the truth
I need advice because I'm completely stuck and I know I fucked up.When I was 15, I met this girl online. We instantly clicked - like, better than I've ever connected with anyone. Our first call lasted all night and we just kept talking every single day after that. She understood me in ways no one else did. We went through the typical online relationship ups and downs, periods where we'd fade out because of school and life, but we always came back to each other.
Last year we made it official. For a year and a half straight, we talked every single day. She's genuinely the most important person in my life.
Here's where I fucked up: When I was 16, she asked about my height. I was short and insecure about it, and my brain told me to just lie cuz I'd grow taller later anyw.. So I told her I was 182cm (about 6'0"). Stupid, I know. I genuinely thought I'd hit that height eventually since my brother is tall, so I figured I'd just grow into the lie.
Spoiler alert: I didn't grow. I'm nowhere near that height. I'm actually the same height as her, And she's made it clear multiple times that she really values height in a partner - she's joked that if I were short, we wouldn't even be dating.
Four months ago, we planned to meet in person for the first time. I panicked and made up an excuse to cancel. She was devastated, we didn't talk for two weeks. We're talking again now, but the lie is eating me alive.
Here's the thing - she's been betrayed by everyone close to her. Her parents are divorced and constantly involve her in their drama, she's had a really rough life, and she's told me that I'm basically the only good thing she has left. She's said she's "pinned all her hopes on me."
I know I need to tell her the truth, but I'm terrified of what it'll do to her. This won't just be a normal breakup - it'll confirm her belief that everyone she loves will eventually betray her. At the same time, I can't keep lying to her, and we can't avoid meeting forever.
I can't just ghost her or block her - we share too much of our lives,Plus I genuinely love her and don't want to hurt her like that.
What the hell do I do? Do I tell her the truth and risk destroying her? Do I lie and break up with her over some dumb reason. ? I feel trapped and I know whatever I do is going to hurt her, but the longer I wait, the worse it gets.
I know some of y'all gonna say "it's online thing why does it matter" she's not that far from me (an 1Hr ride) plus , I fucking love her man.
Hey everyone. I wasn't expecting that post to blow up like it did, but I read every single comment and I need to give you all an update. A lot of you helped clear my head about things I couldn't see, so thank you.
First, I need to own up to something I didn't mention in the original post because I was too ashamed. Before I told her the truth, I went through this cowardly phase where I started acting like an asshole on purpose, trying to make her lose feelings so we'd just end things "naturally." I know how hypocritical that sounds after saying I'd die for her. I thought I was protecting her. I was just being a coward.
So by the time I actually told her the truth yesterday, she was already upset with how I'd been acting.
Here's what happened:
I told her everything. The height lie, why I canceled our meetup, all of it.
And here's the punch line - she said she didn't care about the height at all. She said she loved me enough to look past any of that bullshit, that she wouldn't leave me over something I can't control.
The thing I'd been terrified about for all this time Didn't matter to her.
But here's where I really fucked up: She said she's fed up - not because of the height, but because of the lying. The fact that I kept this lie going for so long, made her feel stupid, and broke her trust completely. She said, and I quote: "If you lied about this for this long and justified it as 'I couldn't afford to lose you,' you can lie about anything and just use the same excuse."
She's also fed up with the long distance and how I've been acting lately (the asshole phase I mentioned).
The conversation ended with her saying she doesn't know what her answer is yet and needs distance right now. I promised we could meet up in the next few weeks so she can make up her mind in person.
Her final words? "I don't give a single fuck about how tall you are. It's your personality that's bothering me right now."
So yeah. I spent years worrying about a problem that didn't exist, and in the process, I created a real problem. I lied for years, acted like a dick to push her away, all while telling myself it was to protect her.
that lie was worse than the truth ever would have been. You were all right.
I don't know what's going to happen. She might walk away, and honestly, she'd have every right to. But at least I finally gave her the truth and the respect she deserved from the beginning.
To everyone who took the time to comment and set me straight - thank you. I really needed to hear it, even the harsh stuff.
