update on life

[d1lurkaa]

embarrassing that I'm back on here after saying i'd leave for good

everything went wrong and I'm back to rotting, org is where I belong. Only safe space i got.

all these heavy emotions are turning into malice and hate. Been stuck and tormented in this cog for 4 total years now.

dont know who I am anymore, school has completely shattered my self perception, overall humiliation ritual. Thank God he made me tall so I dont have to deal with ppl starting shit and making it harder

the fact that staying happy and fulfilled seems like a unattainable thing for me just destroys my perception of myself even more.

i was the kid in school boasting how I'd get rich at 18 and yadadyada. Look at me now.

Shits just gotten worse as the days pass. Been waking up and hitting myself hard asf without being fully conscious. it does actually offer some short term relief somewhat.

Me and my cousins would clown the concept of a grown men suffering from depression. And also with girls who cut themselves.

"Just dont be sad" exact words

God bless my cousin i got nothing but love for him but its so ironic I would turn out to be the same fucking people we were clowning on. Been having insane urges to just grip my face as hard as I can. Idk what God has planned for me, maybe he is bringing me to rock bottom to see how it is then bring me back up so I can be a preacher. This is the ideal scenario but I can't handle it im fatigued and becoming homicidal

 

[Petsmart]

 

[d1lurkaa]

View attachment 5017275

I fw u alot I like ur threads they make me laugh

 

[Scars]

embarrassing that I'm back on here after saying i'd leave for good

everything went wrong and I'm back to rotting, org is where I belong. Only safe space i got.

all these heavy emotions are turning into malice and hate. Been stuck and tormented in this cog for 4 total years now.

dont know who I am anymore, school has completely shattered my self perception, overall humiliation ritual. Thank God he made me tall so I dont have to deal with ppl starting shit and making it harder

the fact that staying happy and fulfilled seems like a unattainable thing for me just destroys my perception of myself even more.

i was the kid in school boasting how I'd get rich at 18 and yadadyada. Look at me now.

Shits just gotten worse as the days pass. Been waking up and hitting myself hard asf without being fully conscious. it does actually offer some short term relief somewhat.

Me and my cousins would clown the concept of a grown men suffering from depression. And also with girls who cut themselves.

"Just dont be sad" exact words

God bless my cousin i got nothing but love for him but its so ironic I would turn out to be the same fucking people we were clowning on. Been having insane urges to just grip my face as hard as I can. Idk what God has planned for me, maybe he is bringing me to rock bottom to see how it is then bring me back up so I can be a preacher. This is the ideal scenario but I can't handle it im fatigued and becoming homicidal

it all comes back to rotting

 

[belowavgheight]

i was gonna dnr but i have nothing better to do

i feel you on the malice part. i try to take my anger out in the gym but i always end up breaking shit when i’m home.

also school is horrible. i genuinely don’t understand how people can give the day a chance, im sitting in a class full of normietards calling my ltn teacher “chad” and using omoggle. there’s two weeks left and i can’t wait to be off for summer even though i have to do summer school online because i didnt bother doing work this year.

stay safe bro

 

[d1lurkaa]

and using omoggle

This is so accurate