update on my life

[LowInhibNoSMV]

I‘ve had alot of bad trips and have built up tons of tolerance against weed, doesnt do anything anymore for the most part.

I started smoking cigarettes, not that much though ~3 a day.

My ex unfollowed me on all of my accounts and blocked me on snap?? (No idea why, we broke up 6-7 months ago)

I lost 9 kgs of mostly fat the past 2 weeks, i can‘t eat anymore without drugs and im trying to quit.

Since loosing weight i‘ve got pretty high SMV with my other stuff like height and i‘ve noticed, although I hardly cry/feel bad anymore, I don‘t really feel anything at all.

2 weeks of vacation started today, not sure how I feel about it.

I am failing 5/8 of my classes.

@jf8
@yasuoh
@registerfasterusing
@tansel
@Archangel

 

[tansel]

I started smoking cigarettes, not that much though ~3 a day.

why would you do that man lol

cigarettes are terrible for you

they ruin all health & youth indicators

 

[LowInhibNoSMV]

why would you do that man lol

cigarettes are terrible for you

they ruin all health & youth indicators

They are very calming when I get bursts of rage, also, its nice to have the tabacco when you wanna roll a joint.

 

[tansel]

They are very calming when I get bursts of rage, also, its nice to have the tabacco when you wanna roll a joint.

yeah but they cause jowls, collagen loss, plaque & tooth decay

it’s terrible man

atleast don’t do it long term

 

[americanpakitruvcel]

I‘ve had alot of bad trips and have built up tons of tolerance against weed, doesnt do anything anymore for the most part.

I started smoking cigarettes, not that much though ~3 a day.

My ex unfollowed me on all of my accounts and blocked me on snap?? (No idea why, we broke up 6-7 months ago)

I lost 9 kgs of mostly fat the past 2 weeks, i can‘t eat anymore without drugs and im trying to quit.

Since loosing weight i‘ve got pretty high SMV with my other stuff like height and i‘ve noticed, although I hardly cry/feel bad anymore, I don‘t really feel anything at all.

2 weeks of vacation started today, not sure how I feel about it.

I am failing 5/8 of my classes.

@jf8
@yasuoh
@registerfasterusing
@tansel
@Archangel

Cigs are the worst drug man, tons of negatives and the high isn’t even good

 

[LowInhibNoSMV]

yeah but they cause jowls, collagen loss, plaque & tooth decay

it’s terrible man

atleast don’t do it long term

I know about that, they just breathe some life into my life.

It‘s all very bland unless I am high or on other drugs.

There is no goal I am going towards, because no goal is worth persuing.

This used to cause me great anguish, but now that I have found confidence in my looks it doesnt cause anything anymore, which is honestly worse. Very boring.

 

[LowInhibNoSMV]

Cigs are the worst drug man, tons of negatives and the high isn’t even good

True, but they leave me more functioning than weed.

 

[americanpakitruvcel]

True, but they leave me more functioning than weed.

Weed also sucks, makes you lazy, I avoid all drugs tbh as my mental health is already so bad since childhood that anything I do could make it worse

 

[tansel]

There is no goal I am going towards, because no goal is worth persuing.

no goals at all? college? living in swiss nature?

 

[LowInhibNoSMV]

Weed also sucks, makes you lazy, I avoid all drugs tbh as my mental health is already so bad since childhood that anything I do could make it worse

I used to always want love, but since recently ive given up.

Now I could get it, but I don‘t want it anymore.

Its so exhausting and empty in the end, because true love would require life-long commitment, which no woman nor often even man is willing to do nowadays.

Drugs give you the same feeling, they make you feel loved at the price of every other aspect of life.
But who cares?
but who cares?

 

[LowInhibNoSMV]

no goals at all? college? living in swiss nature?

why would I do that? like im not saying this in a sad way, comepletly neutrally, there is no point in life. We will die and there will be nothing.

I have fucked my life up beyond repair.
Others have fucked my life up beyond repair.

Life is extremely montone and boring.

 

[LowInhibNoSMV]

@tansel please tell me if any of my messanges don‘t make sense, ive noticed that since the last time I took brownies and greened out and threw up like 20 times my mental capabilities have been reduced alot.
I wander off alot and ramble, I also stare into the nothingness alot

 

[tansel]

why would I do that? like im not saying this in a sad way, comepletly neutrally, there is no point in life. We will die and there will be nothing.

well i mean

would your parents let you live off of them forever

would you want to be 26 years old & still living with ur mom lmao

you would have to move out & have your own life someday

& for that you need a high paying job

which means college

I have fucked my life up beyond repair.

i mean ur only like 17-18, ur still very young for it to be ruined beyond repair lol

please tell me if any of my messanges don‘t make sense

they all make sense lol ur good man

 

[LowInhibNoSMV]

would you want to be 26 years old & still living with ur mom lmao

you would have to move out & have your own life someday

which means college

Again, whats the point?
I don‘t want either, I don‘t know what I want, I want nothing and I want everything.

i mean ur only 17, ur still very young for it to be ruined beyond repair lol

I know, but I don‘t want to fix it I dont want to do it I dont want to do anything I wanna get away from i dont know

they all make sense lol ur good man

thanks bro I just dont have like alot of thoughts anymore
I zone out and I think of nothing for minutes

 

[IHateMyslf]

Opened the thread and got a new point of view on life

 

[LowInhibNoSMV]

Opened the thread and got a new point of view on life

I hope it aint mine
because it isnt nice to feel this way
I think I might also be going into derealisation. — sad if true!

 

[tansel]

Again, whats the point?

well

the point is for u to not be homeless or have a low paying job lol

what happens when you turn 18 & ur mom says

low inhib you either have to get a job or go to college

you would have to pick one haha

unless she is ok with you doing nothing forever lol

I want nothing and I want everything.

haha same man

every human being wants to relax all day & have everything given to them

it is in our nature

I know, but I don‘t want to fix it I dont want to do it I dont want to do anything I wanna get away from i dont know

well

u are still young lol

maybe things will change

 

[LowInhibNoSMV]

the point is for u to not be homeless or have a low paying job lol

again, whats the point? why? i dont care

maybe things will change

i know they will

 

[pexy]

set some goals

take it day by day

and try enjoy each day

don’t think too much

don’t be overly conscious

and do everything in your power to just enjoy yourself

that’s all that matters