sub6manletnozygos
Kraken
- Joined
- Nov 19, 2019
- Posts
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at the start of 2022 i started socialmaxxing through exposure therapy.
on the few occasions i ventured beyond my mothers house, and my bedroom ive lived in for 25 years, i made a concerted effort to make small talk with anyone (people at the bus stop, grocery store, cashiers, if anyone looked at me/smiled at me while waiting for or on the train/bus).
results:
this hasnt worked as expected. im still awkward. i still stutter. awkward silence seems to be inevitable and seemingly unavoidable.
however i can maintain consistent eye contact with all human beings for at least 10 seconds even though i sometimes forget to blink.
i will continue making a concerted effort to exercise my social skills.
i like to justify the utility of socialmaxxing by concluding that my social skills would likely be even worse than they are now, had i not completed this social therapy - but i do not know the accuracy of this statement.
key learning:
sometimes hard work doesnt pay off.
improvement can be exceedingly incremental and demoralizing but if you persist you may or may not be rewarded.
all human beings are awkward to some degree.
improvement to future socialmaxxing:
im going to join some hobby clubs. i am thinking off martial arts, army reserves, photography club, language learning or dancing. however, i think you need to be social maxxed to truly benefit from any of these hobbies, so maybe i will just resign myself to my bedroom as i have been doing for 25 years.
strange stories:
the two most eventful moments of 2022 and socialmaxxing were the following:
story 1:
walking the dog at the park
turn around and see my dog galloping towards an obese woman carrying shopping,
out of the bushes comes a low inhibition german shephard who playfully attacks my dog who, feeling threatened, starts barking in his beta cuck voice dog poodle voice 'bark bark uwu', getting utterly bark mogged by the deep voiced, alpha, dark triad low inhibition german shephard 'WOOF WOOF WOOF'
this alarms the fat woman who trips over
both dogs cease their gregarious gallivanting and follow their nose towards the bags of meat the fat woman has dropped
at that point these two kids run over with their mother to help the fat woman
i come over as well to wrestle off my dog who has bitten into the woman's bag of meat
'noooooooooooooooooo' screams the fat woman
i ask if she needs help
'what the fuck do you think idiot! get your fucking dog off my food!' the fat woman exclaims
the fat woman is struggling to get up from the push up position as she likely needed to push up and then bulgarian split squat 200lbs of fat to get back on her feet but lacked the required strength.
one of the kids then leaps towards my dog
i realize this kid is autistic as he starts unironically biting my dog, who yelps with confusion. the mother of the kid starts apologising and attempting to pry away her enthusiastically autistic son.
the fat woman is wallowing on her own which i identify as an invitation to try to pull her up,
she is in width x2 as wide as me, bigger than richi piano man, crazy
as i try to pull her up, her bloatmaxxed frame is too much for me, she yanks me towards her and the muddy, patchy grass violently receives us with a sad slop and splash of dirt, mud and dog diarrhoea.
im 165lbs skinny maxxed 6'1 manlet subhuman while shes a 300lbs behometh of rizz, fluster and anger for weak subhumans such as myself, and perhaps even herself.
suddenly my back is searing in pain. t10 spinal damage?
the fat woman shrieks 'fuuuuuuuuuuuccccck' in a high pitched manner that would makes pepe blush, piercing my already sensitive ear follicles.
i start apologizing profusely 'im sorry im sorry im sorry'.
i get up and turn around and the other kid and the mother have packed all the meat and the autistic boy has calmed down both of the dogs who are now lying on the ground.
then i once more attempt to help the fat woman to her legs, this time successfully, harnessing the energy of super saiyan blue kaio ken.
the fat woman says nothing in response. not even a 'thank you'.
im blushing hard. im confused. im staring at the dirt. my internal state is the dirt.
why did i even leave my bedroom? why am i in this situation?
then the mother orders her child to hand the fat woman her food which consisted of 1 bag of meat (3 large 2-3 kg of rump steak) and 5 other bags of icecream, chips and confectionary.
the little girl then musters almost regal posture, stares at the fat woman and asserts 'you are so fat. that is so disgusting. you are disgusting. ewww! why cant you be like my mother? look how pretty she is. but you are fat.' then she looks at me and says 'and you are weak! but that fat woman is very fat so its not all your fault'.
im feeling demoralized as i always thought that 2 plates bench and 20kg pull ups was decent but it was clearly not enough to row a 300lbs bloatmaxxed high testosterone queen.
the mother then chastises her daughter for the abrasively honest comments. the little girl is smiling at everyone and then yells 'haha' and walks away.
i then mutter yes ser sorry, staring at the ground, pry my dog away from the autistic kid who is now hugging it again, and then, apologize yet again to everyone including myself for being such a weak subhuman, and then walk away.
idk where my dog leash went. i think i lost it in the chaos. it disappeared so i just carried my dog to my car.
story 2:
at the bus stop,
this very skinny tall old man is staring at me as i wait for the bus
he doesnt cease looking at me
i continue to see him in my peripheral vision staring
he is motionless
i start blushing
he come up to me and says 'drink more milk. then one day you can be as tall as me' and then walks onto the bus which has now arrived.
wtf
on the few occasions i ventured beyond my mothers house, and my bedroom ive lived in for 25 years, i made a concerted effort to make small talk with anyone (people at the bus stop, grocery store, cashiers, if anyone looked at me/smiled at me while waiting for or on the train/bus).
results:
this hasnt worked as expected. im still awkward. i still stutter. awkward silence seems to be inevitable and seemingly unavoidable.
however i can maintain consistent eye contact with all human beings for at least 10 seconds even though i sometimes forget to blink.
i will continue making a concerted effort to exercise my social skills.
i like to justify the utility of socialmaxxing by concluding that my social skills would likely be even worse than they are now, had i not completed this social therapy - but i do not know the accuracy of this statement.
key learning:
sometimes hard work doesnt pay off.
improvement can be exceedingly incremental and demoralizing but if you persist you may or may not be rewarded.
all human beings are awkward to some degree.
improvement to future socialmaxxing:
im going to join some hobby clubs. i am thinking off martial arts, army reserves, photography club, language learning or dancing. however, i think you need to be social maxxed to truly benefit from any of these hobbies, so maybe i will just resign myself to my bedroom as i have been doing for 25 years.
strange stories:
the two most eventful moments of 2022 and socialmaxxing were the following:
story 1:
walking the dog at the park
turn around and see my dog galloping towards an obese woman carrying shopping,
out of the bushes comes a low inhibition german shephard who playfully attacks my dog who, feeling threatened, starts barking in his beta cuck voice dog poodle voice 'bark bark uwu', getting utterly bark mogged by the deep voiced, alpha, dark triad low inhibition german shephard 'WOOF WOOF WOOF'
this alarms the fat woman who trips over
both dogs cease their gregarious gallivanting and follow their nose towards the bags of meat the fat woman has dropped
at that point these two kids run over with their mother to help the fat woman
i come over as well to wrestle off my dog who has bitten into the woman's bag of meat
'noooooooooooooooooo' screams the fat woman
i ask if she needs help
'what the fuck do you think idiot! get your fucking dog off my food!' the fat woman exclaims
the fat woman is struggling to get up from the push up position as she likely needed to push up and then bulgarian split squat 200lbs of fat to get back on her feet but lacked the required strength.
one of the kids then leaps towards my dog
i realize this kid is autistic as he starts unironically biting my dog, who yelps with confusion. the mother of the kid starts apologising and attempting to pry away her enthusiastically autistic son.
the fat woman is wallowing on her own which i identify as an invitation to try to pull her up,
she is in width x2 as wide as me, bigger than richi piano man, crazy
as i try to pull her up, her bloatmaxxed frame is too much for me, she yanks me towards her and the muddy, patchy grass violently receives us with a sad slop and splash of dirt, mud and dog diarrhoea.
im 165lbs skinny maxxed 6'1 manlet subhuman while shes a 300lbs behometh of rizz, fluster and anger for weak subhumans such as myself, and perhaps even herself.
suddenly my back is searing in pain. t10 spinal damage?
the fat woman shrieks 'fuuuuuuuuuuuccccck' in a high pitched manner that would makes pepe blush, piercing my already sensitive ear follicles.
i start apologizing profusely 'im sorry im sorry im sorry'.
i get up and turn around and the other kid and the mother have packed all the meat and the autistic boy has calmed down both of the dogs who are now lying on the ground.
then i once more attempt to help the fat woman to her legs, this time successfully, harnessing the energy of super saiyan blue kaio ken.
the fat woman says nothing in response. not even a 'thank you'.
im blushing hard. im confused. im staring at the dirt. my internal state is the dirt.
why did i even leave my bedroom? why am i in this situation?
then the mother orders her child to hand the fat woman her food which consisted of 1 bag of meat (3 large 2-3 kg of rump steak) and 5 other bags of icecream, chips and confectionary.
the little girl then musters almost regal posture, stares at the fat woman and asserts 'you are so fat. that is so disgusting. you are disgusting. ewww! why cant you be like my mother? look how pretty she is. but you are fat.' then she looks at me and says 'and you are weak! but that fat woman is very fat so its not all your fault'.
im feeling demoralized as i always thought that 2 plates bench and 20kg pull ups was decent but it was clearly not enough to row a 300lbs bloatmaxxed high testosterone queen.
the mother then chastises her daughter for the abrasively honest comments. the little girl is smiling at everyone and then yells 'haha' and walks away.
i then mutter yes ser sorry, staring at the ground, pry my dog away from the autistic kid who is now hugging it again, and then, apologize yet again to everyone including myself for being such a weak subhuman, and then walk away.
idk where my dog leash went. i think i lost it in the chaos. it disappeared so i just carried my dog to my car.
story 2:
at the bus stop,
this very skinny tall old man is staring at me as i wait for the bus
he doesnt cease looking at me
i continue to see him in my peripheral vision staring
he is motionless
i start blushing
he come up to me and says 'drink more milk. then one day you can be as tall as me' and then walks onto the bus which has now arrived.
wtf
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