ndgooner
Iron
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2026
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My looksmaxxing journey started because I wanted to lose my virginity. It finally happened. But it went nothing like I expected.
April 3rd. I'm at my friend's house. We'll call him Jester. This was just a normal sleepover. It consisted of LDARing and gooping.
Bored out of our minds. So bored that at one point we genuinely considered the banana splooshing method. That's how down bad we were. (PS: This was not the first time, nor the last)
Then at exactly 10:57 PM, Jester gets a Snap from some foid he had added on Quick Add the night before. He clicks on it, excited, probably expecting a cute face or a mirror pic.
What we got instead was not just a normal selfie. On the screen was a selfie of what appeared to be a middleaged woman, with text and numbers overlaid on it. It was a price list. And the product? Her.
The prices? Not cheap.
I started hysterically laughing. Jester did too. But when I realized he was laughing out of joy, my smile dropped. I just blankly stared at him.
Fast forward twenty minutes: Lil Jester will not shut up about her. He's insisting we have to check it out. Now for discression purposes I won't describe her face, but heres a tip if you really wanna know: Use your imagination and then make it worse. A lot worse.
Jester was hyped, and the banana method was our only other option, so I played along. When I agreed to go with him, I figured it'd be next weekend. Maybe the week after.
Three hours later I'm standing on a subway platform with this man, waiting for the creature to arrive.
Jester is good with words, and all the hype talk had gotten to my head. To be honest with you I was lowkey excited.
Back then I was thinking: maybe if I squint. Maybe if I hit it from the back. Maybe it won't be that bad.. Right?
We're standing there in the cold. Dead silent night. Then, the sound of a car. We turn around. An ugly, beaten-up Honda pulls up. He's used to that; he's not exactly from a rich neighborhood. Furthermore, he's is black. We walk toward it. Every step I take, I can feel cortisol flooding through my balls.
The window rolls down slowly.
What I saw infront of me was worse. Far worse than the Snapchat photo. I'm not a judgmental person and I'm certainly not some hypergamous prettyboy, but what was sitting behind that steering wheel sent a genuine shiver down my spine. A shiver, that has yet to leave me to this day. My body locked up. I glanced over at Jester, ready to full-sprint out of there with him.
But Jester? Jester was smiling. A grin so malicious, even Lucifer got chills.
From that exact moment, I knew I was on my own.
I turned and ran. Hopped on the first train I could find. Adrenaline still crawling through me the entire ride home- Sorry boys, my fingers hurt from typing. +REP for part two (GENUINE story btw, pics and SS coming in part 2 if requested)
April 3rd. I'm at my friend's house. We'll call him Jester. This was just a normal sleepover. It consisted of LDARing and gooping.
Bored out of our minds. So bored that at one point we genuinely considered the banana splooshing method. That's how down bad we were. (PS: This was not the first time, nor the last)
Then at exactly 10:57 PM, Jester gets a Snap from some foid he had added on Quick Add the night before. He clicks on it, excited, probably expecting a cute face or a mirror pic.
What we got instead was not just a normal selfie. On the screen was a selfie of what appeared to be a middleaged woman, with text and numbers overlaid on it. It was a price list. And the product? Her.
The prices? Not cheap.
I started hysterically laughing. Jester did too. But when I realized he was laughing out of joy, my smile dropped. I just blankly stared at him.
Fast forward twenty minutes: Lil Jester will not shut up about her. He's insisting we have to check it out. Now for discression purposes I won't describe her face, but heres a tip if you really wanna know: Use your imagination and then make it worse. A lot worse.
Jester was hyped, and the banana method was our only other option, so I played along. When I agreed to go with him, I figured it'd be next weekend. Maybe the week after.
Three hours later I'm standing on a subway platform with this man, waiting for the creature to arrive.
Jester is good with words, and all the hype talk had gotten to my head. To be honest with you I was lowkey excited.
Back then I was thinking: maybe if I squint. Maybe if I hit it from the back. Maybe it won't be that bad.. Right?
We're standing there in the cold. Dead silent night. Then, the sound of a car. We turn around. An ugly, beaten-up Honda pulls up. He's used to that; he's not exactly from a rich neighborhood. Furthermore, he's is black. We walk toward it. Every step I take, I can feel cortisol flooding through my balls.
The window rolls down slowly.
What I saw infront of me was worse. Far worse than the Snapchat photo. I'm not a judgmental person and I'm certainly not some hypergamous prettyboy, but what was sitting behind that steering wheel sent a genuine shiver down my spine. A shiver, that has yet to leave me to this day. My body locked up. I glanced over at Jester, ready to full-sprint out of there with him.
But Jester? Jester was smiling. A grin so malicious, even Lucifer got chills.
From that exact moment, I knew I was on my own.
I turned and ran. Hopped on the first train I could find. Adrenaline still crawling through me the entire ride home- Sorry boys, my fingers hurt from typing. +REP for part two (GENUINE story btw, pics and SS coming in part 2 if requested)
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