Vision impairment is a mental battle for me

[Prøphet]

My 100th percentile neuroticism and obsessive compulsive tendencies don’t mix well with the state of my body. In the back of my mind, 24/7, I’m always ruminating and repeating. What would my life be like if I could see at night? What would my life be like if I wasn’t recessed? What would my life be like if I wasn’t crosseyed? What would my life be like if I didn’t have to take prostate medication because I’m balding at 18? What would my life be like if I had friends? If I had the chance to love?


What would my life be like if I had a life?


I do it to myself but I can’t stop. Does god hate me? My conscious mind is dominated by all of this on repeat. Is god even out there somewhere? I’m sure it’s subconscious too, driving all my behavior. What if I did this differently? Could any of it have been prevented if my parents were more involved when I was young? Why did I make this mistake? It torments me mercilessly and I just allow it. That’s who I am. That’s my nature.

 

[zconru]

Hey bud give this a shot should solve your worries about the cross eyed girls online will never see you irl anyways love ya