Want to roid but don’t want to break my mothers heart

[Celt]

I have a question are you thinking of getting married? you mentioned you didn’t want a long life?

I mean I’d like to but like
I’ve kinda accepted that i’m a massive mentalcel and that almost all of the women i’ve ever met have most certainly not been worth marrying

I don’t want to be settled for in my 30s because I have a good job or something. Nor do I want something bland and miserable with a normie woman who tolerates me and maybe is attracted to me but just doesn’t “get” me. So many relationships are like this.

I want either true love or to die before 40 either 300 lean from my heart exploding or with a gun in my hand

The tragedy is that my soulmate is almost certainly a deeply mentally ill woman

Which in the case of women often means they’re massively promiscuous and prone to infidelity. I think the right women exist but you don’t see them in real life only niche internet spaces.

A giga-autistic but also crazy intelligent friend of mine (short ethnic ltn) is edating this genuine HTB foid (confirmed to be real, i’ve chatted to her and they ft all the time). They get along so well because they’re both profoundly autistic in the very same way. He basically struck gold, I love the guy so not to knock him but he’d probably be an incel if not for this. Which makes me think that maybe its possible but I’ve had nothing but pain myself in my own efforts