Esotericfreak1488
Iron
- Joined
- May 4, 2026
- Posts
- 84
- Reputation
- 83
So i'll start with telling a little about myself and my history with looksmaxxing.
First discovered looksmaxxing and blackpill through memes and stuff in like 2022, never really thought much of it but it started creeping up to me. I was really fat for most of my childhood and 'peaked' in weight last year at 16y/o, 132 kilograms measured at the school doctor. i'm 187cm. anyways after that i started to drop down my weight really rapidly, like eating around 1500 calories a day and my weight dropped 20kg in like a few months. during the summer after i dropped 20kg in february to may/june, my friend introduced me to the gym, i started going and eating kinda regularly, maintaining my weight for most of the time, but still gaining muscle. right now i stand at like 108kg, which iam still ashamed of. i'd like to drop my weight by maybe another 20 kilograms but i don't want to do it like last year, i'm afraid it will fuck up my hormonal balance and probably i won't get all the benefits of puberty which im most likely still going through, because i still have hormonal acne on my face, neck, chest and back.
i'm tired of being a fat fuck KHHV and it has ruined my confidence and social life. i feel like a burden and annoying to look at to other people which i don't want to be. Also no girls have ever found me attractive and have chosen everyone else except me. Approaching a girl makes me feel like i'm sexually assaulting her because of how fucking fat and ugly iam. But i'm hopeful if i can drop my weight down, i'll maybe score something. Also i'll probably feel better mentally AND physically.
i want advice from you guys what to do with my current situation. also i feel like talking about this might help me get my shit together, since i'm going through a depressive episode right now and haven't been able to go to school. some mornings i take a look in the mirror and just decide to not go because of how shit i look.
I want to eat a balanced and clean diet to lose weight and feel actually good while doing it without fucking up my metabolism, thyroid function and puberty. i want to drop seed oils, pufas and processed carbs like macaroni and such. the situation with red meat in my country is really fucking annoying right now, grocery stores are not paying enough to the farmers or something and they are at conflict or whatever which is causing the price of beef mince and beef in general to rise. My parents don't want to buy me red meat because it's so expensive but they sometimes cook food for the entire family from beef but the dishes are usually messy and unhealthy, made using seedoils and macaroni or wheat products. i don't want to eat them, so i usually just eat chicken, eggs and milk products like quark and milk in general. My carbs i get from potatoes and fruit. fats mainly from eggs. i want to eat a Peaty diet, since it sounds the best to me, but i need some tips on it.
anyways this post was just a really autistic rambling about my life and thoughts, and just wanted to talk about everything, it makes me feel better
First discovered looksmaxxing and blackpill through memes and stuff in like 2022, never really thought much of it but it started creeping up to me. I was really fat for most of my childhood and 'peaked' in weight last year at 16y/o, 132 kilograms measured at the school doctor. i'm 187cm. anyways after that i started to drop down my weight really rapidly, like eating around 1500 calories a day and my weight dropped 20kg in like a few months. during the summer after i dropped 20kg in february to may/june, my friend introduced me to the gym, i started going and eating kinda regularly, maintaining my weight for most of the time, but still gaining muscle. right now i stand at like 108kg, which iam still ashamed of. i'd like to drop my weight by maybe another 20 kilograms but i don't want to do it like last year, i'm afraid it will fuck up my hormonal balance and probably i won't get all the benefits of puberty which im most likely still going through, because i still have hormonal acne on my face, neck, chest and back.
i'm tired of being a fat fuck KHHV and it has ruined my confidence and social life. i feel like a burden and annoying to look at to other people which i don't want to be. Also no girls have ever found me attractive and have chosen everyone else except me. Approaching a girl makes me feel like i'm sexually assaulting her because of how fucking fat and ugly iam. But i'm hopeful if i can drop my weight down, i'll maybe score something. Also i'll probably feel better mentally AND physically.
i want advice from you guys what to do with my current situation. also i feel like talking about this might help me get my shit together, since i'm going through a depressive episode right now and haven't been able to go to school. some mornings i take a look in the mirror and just decide to not go because of how shit i look.
I want to eat a balanced and clean diet to lose weight and feel actually good while doing it without fucking up my metabolism, thyroid function and puberty. i want to drop seed oils, pufas and processed carbs like macaroni and such. the situation with red meat in my country is really fucking annoying right now, grocery stores are not paying enough to the farmers or something and they are at conflict or whatever which is causing the price of beef mince and beef in general to rise. My parents don't want to buy me red meat because it's so expensive but they sometimes cook food for the entire family from beef but the dishes are usually messy and unhealthy, made using seedoils and macaroni or wheat products. i don't want to eat them, so i usually just eat chicken, eggs and milk products like quark and milk in general. My carbs i get from potatoes and fruit. fats mainly from eggs. i want to eat a Peaty diet, since it sounds the best to me, but i need some tips on it.
anyways this post was just a really autistic rambling about my life and thoughts, and just wanted to talk about everything, it makes me feel better
