was gifted and talented program bs?

[Jlaemees]

I want to be better than my peers and be superior to them intellectually so bad and make them jealous but at the end of the day I am an unaccomplished retard. Tested 147iq at 7y/o (currently 16 y/o) and I definitely feel smarter than most people and am always regarded as such but I don't feel smarter than 99.9%. Obviously I know my personal feelings aren't as accurate a measure of neural connectivity as an official iq test given by a licensed school psychologist but does it not stand to reason that if I actually had a 147 iq then I would be smarter than ALL of my peers? Also I am scarred to actually take mensa because my entire worldview relies on me being significantly smarter than the vast majority of people and I do not want to put that worldview on the line because realistically I am more likely to be significantly lower then 147 than I am to still being 147 and I don't feel compelled in any way to "find out the truth" because my own little delusion that I live in is really awesome. It is genuinely so awesome to believe (whether validly or not) that you are genuinely better than your peers. DNI if you're sub120 (unless you say something that will make me laugh) I don't want to talk to iqlets and zombies unless if I am antagonizing them. If you read this far then I am officially granting you the title of scatington the third- king of scatland.