Watching people at my school enjoy their teenage years makes me hopeless

[goldship]

For my entire life, I've been outcasted for my behaviors and looks. During elementary school, I was bullied by the entire class and had scissors thrown at me. I thought they were my friends, I was too innocent to notice. I told my mother, but she never believed me. No one ever paid attention to me, which caused me to act out during school and at home. Later in middle school, I was made fun of by the popular kids. I was asked out as jokes. It fueled my hate for normies. Their snide behaviors and giggles behind my back. I was pushed into lockers, had my hair pulled, mocked, brutally bullied. No one believed me, yet again. I stopped going to school. I got into drugs and lost my mind. After going to the hospital, I started to slowly go back to school. I made friends. One friend in particular, a girl. She was bubbly, cute, and we got along well. I never connected with someone so closely. After those "friends" started spreading rumors about me, she stayed by my side. She didn't leave me. We spent the summer hanging out together, getting high and drunk in her room. I would spend so much time at her house, that her parents didn't flinch when I walked through the door. I had a taste of freedom. Happiness. It was the only summer I ever did anything besides rotting away in my room, and it was the best three months of my life. We would nap outside and stay up all night talking to each other. I could never believe that so many people experience this feeling everyday. I finally had what I was missing out on and craving for so long. In the end, I fucked up, and she decided to stop talking to me. Now every summer I think of her. I think of what I missed out on. I think of the friendship I could've kept. Now I scroll endlessly on social media getting recommended people from my school. People I walked by everyday. It's so humiliating watching people in groups laughing and having fun with their friends, while I'm outcasted. They never even noticed I was there. I watch stories on instagram of people going to parties, getting drunk with their friends, going to the beach, etc, and it makes me lose hope for my life. I'm so far behind compared to my peers. I can't speak to anyone because I've been alienated my entire life. I've tried to change. I've put myself out there. No matter what I do, they can always tell I'm ND. My face throws them off. The way I speak. I often think of the study where groups of NT's watched groups of ND's and NT's preform the same action. They voted the ND's extremely low, without knowing they were ND. I'm worried for my future. Am I going to leech off my parents for the rest of my life? Will I ever get over this roadblock? Teenage years are the most important developmental years, and I'm wasting mines away, rotting online. I have nowhere I can go. I have nothing I can do. I want to have fun. I want to be social. I want to go to parties. I want to stay up at night sneaking out with my friends. I want to experience this teenage fun that everyone else so easily has. My mind is a trap and I'm much more intelligent than my brain rotted peers, so they can never understand what I'm talking about. They ask me why I would think about something like that.

TLDR; My social alienation makes it difficult for me to find friends as I watch my teenage years wither away rotting online as everyone my age parties and enjoys their life.

 

[sqm]

will read later but if you missed out on teen love it’s soooo over for you i wouldn’t wish your situation on my worst enemy

 

[medialcanthus]

For my entire life, I've been outcasted for my behaviors and looks. During elementary school, I was bullied by the entire class and had scissors thrown at me. I thought they were my friends, I was too innocent to notice. I told my mother, but she never believed me. No one ever paid attention to me, which caused me to act out during school and at home. Later in middle school, I was made fun of by the popular kids. I was asked out as jokes. It fueled my hate for normies. Their snide behaviors and giggles behind my back. I was pushed into lockers, had my hair pulled, mocked, brutally bullied. No one believed me, yet again. I stopped going to school. I got into drugs and lost my mind. After going to the hospital, I started to slowly go back to school. I made friends. One friend in particular, a girl. She was bubbly, cute, and we got along well. I never connected with someone so closely. After those "friends" started spreading rumors about me, she stayed by my side. She didn't leave me. We spent the summer hanging out together, getting high and drunk in her room. I would spend so much time at her house, that her parents didn't flinch when I walked through the door. I had a taste of freedom. Happiness. It was the only summer I ever did anything besides rotting away in my room, and it was the best three months of my life. We would nap outside and stay up all night talking to each other. I could never believe that so many people experience this feeling everyday. I finally had what I was missing out on and craving for so long. In the end, I fucked up, and she decided to stop talking to me. Now every summer I think of her. I think of what I missed out on. I think of the friendship I could've kept. Now I scroll endlessly on social media getting recommended people from my school. People I walked by everyday. It's so humiliating watching people in groups laughing and having fun with their friends, while I'm outcasted. They never even noticed I was there. I watch stories on instagram of people going to parties, getting drunk with their friends, going to the beach, etc, and it makes me lose hope for my life. I'm so far behind compared to my peers. I can't speak to anyone because I've been alienated my entire life. I've tried to change. I've put myself out there. No matter what I do, they can always tell I'm ND. My face throws them off. The way I speak. I often think of the study where groups of NT's watched groups of ND's and NT's preform the same action. They voted the ND's extremely low, without knowing they were ND. I'm worried for my future. Am I going to leech off my parents for the rest of my life? Will I ever get over this roadblock? Teenage years are the most important developmental years, and I'm wasting mines away, rotting online. I have nowhere I can go. I have nothing I can do. I want to have fun. I want to be social. I want to go to parties. I want to stay up at night sneaking out with my friends. I want to experience this teenage fun that everyone else so easily has. My mind is a trap and I'm much more intelligent than my brain rotted peers, so they can never understand what I'm talking about. They ask me why I would think about something like that.

TLDR; My social alienation makes it difficult for me to find friends as I watch my teenage years wither away rotting online as everyone my age parties and enjoys their life.

 

[Yeagerist]

dnr but yea probably agree all normies who abuse me better social life because Nt

 

[Bryce]

For my entire life, I've been outcasted for my behaviors and looks. During elementary school, I was bullied by the entire class and had scissors thrown at me. I thought they were my friends, I was too innocent to notice. I told my mother, but she never believed me. No one ever paid attention to me, which caused me to act out during school and at home. Later in middle school, I was made fun of by the popular kids. I was asked out as jokes. It fueled my hate for normies. Their snide behaviors and giggles behind my back. I was pushed into lockers, had my hair pulled, mocked, brutally bullied. No one believed me, yet again. I stopped going to school. I got into drugs and lost my mind. After going to the hospital, I started to slowly go back to school. I made friends. One friend in particular, a girl. She was bubbly, cute, and we got along well. I never connected with someone so closely. After those "friends" started spreading rumors about me, she stayed by my side. She didn't leave me. We spent the summer hanging out together, getting high and drunk in her room. I would spend so much time at her house, that her parents didn't flinch when I walked through the door. I had a taste of freedom. Happiness. It was the only summer I ever did anything besides rotting away in my room, and it was the best three months of my life. We would nap outside and stay up all night talking to each other. I could never believe that so many people experience this feeling everyday. I finally had what I was missing out on and craving for so long. In the end, I fucked up, and she decided to stop talking to me. Now every summer I think of her. I think of what I missed out on. I think of the friendship I could've kept. Now I scroll endlessly on social media getting recommended people from my school. People I walked by everyday. It's so humiliating watching people in groups laughing and having fun with their friends, while I'm outcasted. They never even noticed I was there. I watch stories on instagram of people going to parties, getting drunk with their friends, going to the beach, etc, and it makes me lose hope for my life. I'm so far behind compared to my peers. I can't speak to anyone because I've been alienated my entire life. I've tried to change. I've put myself out there. No matter what I do, they can always tell I'm ND. My face throws them off. The way I speak. I often think of the study where groups of NT's watched groups of ND's and NT's preform the same action. They voted the ND's extremely low, without knowing they were ND. I'm worried for my future. Am I going to leech off my parents for the rest of my life? Will I ever get over this roadblock? Teenage years are the most important developmental years, and I'm wasting mines away, rotting online. I have nowhere I can go. I have nothing I can do. I want to have fun. I want to be social. I want to go to parties. I want to stay up at night sneaking out with my friends. I want to experience this teenage fun that everyone else so easily has. My mind is a trap and I'm much more intelligent than my brain rotted peers, so they can never understand what I'm talking about. They ask me why I would think about something like that.

TLDR; My social alienation makes it difficult for me to find friends as I watch my teenage years wither away rotting online as everyone my age parties and enjoys their life.

Yep

 

[Minnie lacking]

What happened between you and the chick tho does she still live in your area?

 

[goldship]

View attachment 4013625

I love black women

 

[goldship]

What happened between you and the chick tho does she still live in your area?

I moved about twenty minutes away if she still lives in the same house. I found her instagram and was going through her posts although we stopped talking about two or three years ago. She seems to be having the time of her life, going to concerts, hanging out with friends, etc. It's something silly I did when I was younger, I spoke badly about one of the friends who dropped me. She was friends with that person still, and she ended up distancing herself from me slowly. I remember I went on her account once and she was calling me a stalker. JFL

 

[Minnie lacking]

I moved about twenty minutes away if she still lives in the same house. I found her instagram and was going through her posts although we stopped talking about two or three years ago. She seems to be having the time of her life, going to concerts, hanging out with friends, etc. It's something silly I did when I was younger, I spoke badly about one of the friends who dropped me. She was friends with that person still, and she ended up distancing herself from me slowly. I remember I went on her account once and she was calling me a stalker. JFL

Ahh man thats fucked i don't think thats your fault tho hope you get a good life tho

 

[Saint Casanova]

I’m sorry to tell you this, but it would get much, much harder in your 20s and later.

You should start preparing asap to improve what you can and live your life

 

[isis_Bleach]

theres an easy way to end all their fun

 

[wheat3387]

For my entire life, I've been outcasted for my behaviors and looks. During elementary school, I was bullied by the entire class and had scissors thrown at me. I thought they were my friends, I was too innocent to notice. I told my mother, but she never believed me. No one ever paid attention to me, which caused me to act out during school and at home. Later in middle school, I was made fun of by the popular kids. I was asked out as jokes. It fueled my hate for normies. Their snide behaviors and giggles behind my back. I was pushed into lockers, had my hair pulled, mocked, brutally bullied. No one believed me, yet again. I stopped going to school. I got into drugs and lost my mind. After going to the hospital, I started to slowly go back to school. I made friends. One friend in particular, a girl. She was bubbly, cute, and we got along well. I never connected with someone so closely. After those "friends" started spreading rumors about me, she stayed by my side. She didn't leave me. We spent the summer hanging out together, getting high and drunk in her room. I would spend so much time at her house, that her parents didn't flinch when I walked through the door. I had a taste of freedom. Happiness. It was the only summer I ever did anything besides rotting away in my room, and it was the best three months of my life. We would nap outside and stay up all night talking to each other. I could never believe that so many people experience this feeling everyday. I finally had what I was missing out on and craving for so long. In the end, I fucked up, and she decided to stop talking to me. Now every summer I think of her. I think of what I missed out on. I think of the friendship I could've kept. Now I scroll endlessly on social media getting recommended people from my school. People I walked by everyday. It's so humiliating watching people in groups laughing and having fun with their friends, while I'm outcasted. They never even noticed I was there. I watch stories on instagram of people going to parties, getting drunk with their friends, going to the beach, etc, and it makes me lose hope for my life. I'm so far behind compared to my peers. I can't speak to anyone because I've been alienated my entire life. I've tried to change. I've put myself out there. No matter what I do, they can always tell I'm ND. My face throws them off. The way I speak. I often think of the study where groups of NT's watched groups of ND's and NT's preform the same action. They voted the ND's extremely low, without knowing they were ND. I'm worried for my future. Am I going to leech off my parents for the rest of my life? Will I ever get over this roadblock? Teenage years are the most important developmental years, and I'm wasting mines away, rotting online. I have nowhere I can go. I have nothing I can do. I want to have fun. I want to be social. I want to go to parties. I want to stay up at night sneaking out with my friends. I want to experience this teenage fun that everyone else so easily has. My mind is a trap and I'm much more intelligent than my brain rotted peers, so they can never understand what I'm talking about. They ask me why I would think about something like that.

TLDR; My social alienation makes it difficult for me to find friends as I watch my teenage years wither away rotting online as everyone my age parties and enjoys their life.

Holy shit bro I just read this all and I hope things get better for you if not enjoy nature

 

[Luquier]

Did you try sticking up for yourself?

 

[GenerationalAutism]

bark for me YOU DOG

 

[SvtvnTr14d]

For my entire life, I've been outcasted for my behaviors and looks. During elementary school, I was bullied by the entire class and had scissors thrown at me. I thought they were my friends, I was too innocent to notice. I told my mother, but she never believed me. No one ever paid attention to me, which caused me to act out during school and at home. Later in middle school, I was made fun of by the popular kids. I was asked out as jokes. It fueled my hate for normies. Their snide behaviors and giggles behind my back. I was pushed into lockers, had my hair pulled, mocked, brutally bullied. No one believed me, yet again. I stopped going to school. I got into drugs and lost my mind. After going to the hospital, I started to slowly go back to school. I made friends. One friend in particular, a girl. She was bubbly, cute, and we got along well. I never connected with someone so closely. After those "friends" started spreading rumors about me, she stayed by my side. She didn't leave me. We spent the summer hanging out together, getting high and drunk in her room. I would spend so much time at her house, that her parents didn't flinch when I walked through the door. I had a taste of freedom. Happiness. It was the only summer I ever did anything besides rotting away in my room, and it was the best three months of my life. We would nap outside and stay up all night talking to each other. I could never believe that so many people experience this feeling everyday. I finally had what I was missing out on and craving for so long. In the end, I fucked up, and she decided to stop talking to me. Now every summer I think of her. I think of what I missed out on. I think of the friendship I could've kept. Now I scroll endlessly on social media getting recommended people from my school. People I walked by everyday. It's so humiliating watching people in groups laughing and having fun with their friends, while I'm outcasted. They never even noticed I was there. I watch stories on instagram of people going to parties, getting drunk with their friends, going to the beach, etc, and it makes me lose hope for my life. I'm so far behind compared to my peers. I can't speak to anyone because I've been alienated my entire life. I've tried to change. I've put myself out there. No matter what I do, they can always tell I'm ND. My face throws them off. The way I speak. I often think of the study where groups of NT's watched groups of ND's and NT's preform the same action. They voted the ND's extremely low, without knowing they were ND. I'm worried for my future. Am I going to leech off my parents for the rest of my life? Will I ever get over this roadblock? Teenage years are the most important developmental years, and I'm wasting mines away, rotting online. I have nowhere I can go. I have nothing I can do. I want to have fun. I want to be social. I want to go to parties. I want to stay up at night sneaking out with my friends. I want to experience this teenage fun that everyone else so easily has. My mind is a trap and I'm much more intelligent than my brain rotted peers, so they can never understand what I'm talking about. They ask me why I would think about something like that.

TLDR; My social alienation makes it difficult for me to find friends as I watch my teenage years wither away rotting online as everyone my age parties and enjoys their life.

I read the whole thing and dayum bro it's sad to hear u lost ur friend like that, my advice is even if u aren't able to socialize irl try socializing online and making friends, the convos u'll have lets say on a stupid app like tiktok will help u have normal convos irl which will make u more social and will help u get better opportunities to get to know people, idk if what I'm saying makes sense but long story short try practicing ur social skills on stupid apps like tiktok whatever ur comfortable with and the convos u'll have with ppl there will make u connect better irl, this is what helped me don't get me wrong I'm not trying to make this about me right now, but when my mental illness was at it's peak i would isolate myself from everybody, i was kind of aggressive to ppl who tried to talk to me and acted in a way which people usually call nonchalant but for me it was a defense mechanism, and I got so isolated from people i GENUENLY couldn't keep a convo with them and especially normally socialize, but I've decided back then that I would try to be generally more social and I started online and the more people i talked with, the better i saw i was getting at socializing and after a couple of months my social skills went back to normal i talk to people normally now and socialize. Remember bro it'll work out, wish u the best much love <333