Water: Why I’m incapable of socialising

[Deleted member 19442]

I don’t have anything to talk about. All I do is complain, talk utter incomprehensible nonsense or chase reactions. I’m incapable of proper back n forth

 

[OverCoper]

Because you have no social experience. You need it to learn how to talk to people. You can't just go outside and start talking like someone who has been socializing for years. The good news is that you can catch up with others in a couple of years, so it's not over, you just have to start.

 

[Deleted member 25059]

Because you have no social experience. You need it to learn how to talk to people. You can't just go outside and start talking like someone who has been socializing for years.

how
help me. im in the dark in this

 

[OverCoper]

how
help me. im in the dark in this

Just find real people and communicate to them, there is no other way. Your brain will figure out what's matter and what's not, what you can talk about and how. Of course, at the beginning you will act odd, weird, naive, silly, but there is no other way.

 

[GalacticHero]

Because you have no social experience. You need it to learn how to talk to people. You can't just go outside and start talking like someone who has been socializing for years. The good news is that you can catch up with others in a couple of years, so it's not over, you just have to start.

I feel like I’m capped at Certain level currently, I can talk and stuff and be funny, but nobody seem to wants to invite to anything to go to the next level, what should I do?

 

[Allornothing]

You probably don’t socialise much at all when you have the opportunity to. Eg. You walk past a receptionist and don’t say hi or smile. You might even actively avoid interactions without realising it. Takes practise I guess.

 

[Shycel]

Same. I can only maintain conversations on a small number of topics that I actually know stuff about. Even then, I eventually kind of just run out of things to say and then don't know what to say anymore. The only exception to this is when I'm talking with very close friends and I don't have any filter on what comes out my mouth and I can just talk forever. When it comes to conversing with everyone else I'm basically a brick wall. Makes it impossible to make new friends.

 

[Deleted member 19442]

Same. I can only maintain conversations on a small number of topics that I actually know stuff about. Even then, I eventually kind of just run out of things to say and then don't know what to say anymore. The only exception to this is when I'm talking with very close friends and I don't have any filter on what comes out my mouth and I can just talk forever. When it comes to conversing with everyone else I'm basically a brick wall. Makes it impossible to make new friends.

I think this is where social skills matter in securing relationships. If you’re incapable of escalating with women and forming basic connections over whatever bs you’ll squander a lot of chances.

Looks gives you the initial opportunity and can even override NT by making the woman escalate instead