What are your motivations? What drives you to do what you do.

[dflt.]

I'm genuinely curious in asking this. I personally do everything I can to change the way I look simply because I am utterly disgusted by what I see in the mirror. I grew up increasingly insecure even before I was considering romantic relationships. Even now, I'm so deeply insecure that I detach myself from others (I'm so insecure and focused on myself I can't even see me being in a relationship). Yes a benefit of improving your looks is increasing the chances of a romantic connection with someone, but I see it as so much more. What keeps me up at night is that as a kid I would have grown up imagining what I would looked like when I'm 18. Due to the comic books and media I would have consumed, I naively thought that I would just magically be all tall and muscular and handsome just like a superhero. I had no idea that development could just fail you. I didn't have a grasp of the genetic lottery. And I'm sickened that 18 year old me has not met the standards of my childhood imagination.

My point being, I am so deeply motivated because I feel so much hatred towards my physical self. Women are not constantly on my mind.
When I am upset that a girl doesn't like me, I'm not upset because that chance of a relationship is gone, I'm upset because that means I truly am physically subpar.

I assume many of you think in a similar way...