elcrusader
maybe one bright day
- Joined
- Aug 29, 2023
- Posts
- 368
- Reputation
- 410
Today at school I was a worthless idiot. I seriously didn't understand anything, nor was I able answer questions. I constantly daydreamed just to be woken up to world much worse. My fucking brain couldnt understand shit. I thought I was smart, but no. I constantly forget things, and I didn't even understand what sugar was. I really had brain fog the whole day.
I really didn't want to go to school this week so I listened to subliminal messages to make me sick. Sure it has done it's job quite well, but I am still not "sick enough" so I will continue to listen to those ug subs. I am sure I will stay at home tomorrow now matter what.
What I am concerned about is that these subliminals may contain secret affirmations. Seriously what if these have affirmations like: "You will hate yourself", "
Today I noticed:
Once I left school I don't know why, but I told my self in my head that I am a failure, a worthless idiot. Suddenly it has gotten hard to control myself. I am constantly fidgety, I sometimes punch my own body, my hands grab my head and I am frustrated. I even did a test where I tied my hands in my back, but then when I got frustrated I started stomping and kicking my feet. My grandma noticed my odd behaviour and she thought I was just joking around, but I didn't want to tell. Really I don't want to tell anyone in real life.
If somebody shot me dead, it would be better for this world.
Now that I am writing this I am slightly calmer than before, but I am still shaky. And now feel cold.
I really didn't want to go to school this week so I listened to subliminal messages to make me sick. Sure it has done it's job quite well, but I am still not "sick enough" so I will continue to listen to those ug subs. I am sure I will stay at home tomorrow now matter what.
What I am concerned about is that these subliminals may contain secret affirmations. Seriously what if these have affirmations like: "You will hate yourself", "
Today I noticed:
Once I left school I don't know why, but I told my self in my head that I am a failure, a worthless idiot. Suddenly it has gotten hard to control myself. I am constantly fidgety, I sometimes punch my own body, my hands grab my head and I am frustrated. I even did a test where I tied my hands in my back, but then when I got frustrated I started stomping and kicking my feet. My grandma noticed my odd behaviour and she thought I was just joking around, but I didn't want to tell. Really I don't want to tell anyone in real life.
If somebody shot me dead, it would be better for this world.
Now that I am writing this I am slightly calmer than before, but I am still shaky. And now feel cold.
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