- Sep 24, 2018
Seems like I have to feed some kind of addiction at all times to feel stable whether its alcohol, drugs, fapping, video games, using the computer, etc. If it wasn't for these things I would have no motivation tbh. I legit get suicidal without them. Lately I've been wanting to moneymaxx just so I can afford to party and fuck hookers regularly in the future. Like I just want to maximize my pleasure at this point. I don't see much value in people or relationships anymore. They're good for short-term entertainment and validation, but once I've been alone for a while I feel like ghosting everyone and starting over. I've been chilling with this group of turbonormies since April and we got really close, traveled to different states together, shared hotel rooms and stuff. But now I feel dropping all of them and I don't even know why. It's been a recurring pattern in my life tbh.