What would it be like to be the son of a looksmaxer?

Curry Suicide

Curry Suicide

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Imagine being the son of a looksmaxer

Dad: "Take that dummy/pacifier out of your mouth and put your tongue on your mouth roof"

Son: "Read me a bedtime story, Daddy"
Dad: "OK, there was once a god called David Gandy..."

Son: "Santa's gonna bring me a bike".
Dad: "blackpill, son! There is no Santa. Nor Easter Bunny. Just working and balding"

Dad's letter to school:
*James cannot attend school because he's having a lefort 3*

Son: "I'm gonna move my Xbox to over here".
Dad: "Don't lift your Xbox! Don't lift anything! Not until AFTER your growth plates have closed. Don't pick up anything!"

Son: "Daddy, my choco flakes tastes funny".
Dad: "That's cuz I crushed Finasteride into it."

Son: "Daddy?"
Dad: "I'm probably not. I'm not a 9/10 so your mum probably cuckolded me".

Dad: "Son, I don't care if you have homework. Do your face-pulling excercises first."

Dad: "Finish your chewing gum, son, then you can have some carrots for dessert"

Dad: "Hold still, son, while I give you a slayer scar across your face"

Son: "Dad?"
Dad: "I have no son. Just a 5'6 failure"

Son: "Dad. I got an E in science. I failed the class. Sorry."
Dad: "But you ARE still sub13% bodyfat, right?"
Son: "I'll probably have to re-enroll. I'll lose all my friends."
Dad: "I'd say that you're about 11% bf"

At the dinner table:
Mum: "Son, pass the ketchup"
Son: "OK, here you go"
Dad: *smacks his son's hand* "I didn't raise no fucking white knight. She can get her own ketchup"

Son: "PLEASE can I take the sellotape off my eyelids?"
Dad: "Not until your eyes become more hunter"

Dad: "Your jailbait, I mean, sister and I are going to the woods. We'll bare back soon"

*Dad bursts into his son's room*
Son: "OMG, I swear this cocaine is not mine. My friend had left it here so I was just see.."
Dad: "What's that over there?"
Son: "That? A can of Dr Pepper"
Dad: "You have 10 minutes to collect your shit and leave my house"
 
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Sounds good tbh
 
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ngl this band humour but I’ll still give it a jfl
 
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Son: dad why did you hit my face with a hammer multiple times
Dad: its called bone smashing son, you'll understand when your an adult JFL
 
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Son: can I have a nosejob?
Dad: No you have recessed maxilla son just mew chew and you are fine
 
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Son: can I have a nosejob?
Dad: No you have recessed maxilla son just mew chew and you are fine
Cracking Up Lol GIF
 
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Son: dad why did you hit my face with a hammer multiple times
Dad: its called bone smashing son, you'll understand when your an adult JFL
Dad: You will thank me when you grow up
 
"Just working and balding" im fuckin dead💀💔
 
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i died laughing nigga
 
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Your best thread.
 

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