When being blackpilled backfired: storytime

whiteissuperior

whiteissuperior

Bu to the sinner he gives the task of gathering.
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There is a tldr at the bottom.
I posted on IWH often, including this story as a comment. At certain parts, I’ll try to remember what some guys from IWH said.
I had a terrible, abusive, so poor I wore my sisters’ clothes childhood and a very ugly face, and never grew past 5’3. I quickly gave up on dating because the odds of a woman finding me attractive seemed too low to bother. I also found people annoying until college, and stayed alone as much as possible. I did make male and female friends in college, but I never tried to date. I did make efforts to talk with women, which were typically successful.
Between high school and college, I finally had money via scholarships. I had plastic surgery for a chin implant, dental work, new wardrobe, new skincare, new workout routine, new haircut. I have a feminine baby face and due to my hair and clothes, people sometimes assumed I was gay. If I was talking to a girl, I wouldn’t correct her if she assumed I was gay because I thought she’d worry that I just wanted to sleep with her and awkwardness would ensue. I wouldn’t lie and say I was gay either. If they asked about my boyfriend, I’d let them know I wasn’t ready to talk about dating, so they likely assumed some guy dumped me.
Sorry for the backtrack, but it will hopefully shed perspective on how I behaved later. I’m 28 now btw.
At 20, I started working with literally the most beautiful being I’ve ever seen. She had long platinum hair, huge blue eyes, small mouth with full lips, perfect skin and teeth, perfect body (imo), and was both blunt and crass when appropriate or sensitive and understanding when appropriate. This was something I struggled with since I didn’t have much social development before college: matching other people’s emotions properly.
Finally, the actual topic: There were several times she tried to flirt with me and I caught none of them. I reconnected with her last summer and she admitted that she had been flirting.
Incident 1: She asked me to get a bottle off a shelf, looked over at me, and laughed that I was even shorter than her 5’4. It brought back memories from high school, but her laugh wasn’t mean-spirited. She explained she had vertigo and couldn’t stand on stools. I went over to the stool and stumbled when she grabbed my hips so I wouldn’t fall. I’d never been touched like that by anyone and it nearly made me fall. She steadied me and held my hand when I got off the stool. She giggled and it was over.
I don’t believe anyone on IWH thought she was flirting, just like I didn’t at the time. She told me later she was letting me know she didn’t care about height.
Incident 2: Actually there were probably many incidents in the three years we worked together, but this one was so obvious that even I wondered if she was flirting. It was our last day working together and she hugged me and cried because I was graduating and she wouldn’t see me again. I didn’t catch that she was giving me a perfect chance to ask her out.
Guys on IWH: I don’t quite remember. Maybe just a lot of downvotes? Some reminders that I am sub human trash and she wasn’t flirting perhaps?
Incident 3: After she realized I wasn’t going to ask her to spend time with me, she said she did want to stay in contact. She texted her Instagram to me and told me she’d approve it. I ran home and quickly made an Instagram with some other accounts I made following it. (She told me later that she knew I must not have had an Instagram because she checked my follower list. I didn’t tell her at the time that I didn’t have one because I wanted to see the pictures.)
Her Instagram was private and she did approve me almost immediately. I noticed she had few followers due to only giving a specific people access. Her public Instagram was very work friendly. This one had plenty of lingerie shots and her modeling pictures and sexy costumes (she cosplayed). I thought “Why would my coworker I’m secretly in love with want me to see this?” (Hint: she was trying to catch my interest.)
I fixated on her for years. I did comment on her pics and she commented on mine, but we really didn’t text.
Then she got married. I was devastated. I had violent thoughts toward her husband and went back to that high school boy who hated everyone. Then it got easier with time, but I always felt I should have tried. It was so ingrained in my head that a woman like that would not date such a short, girly guy that I needed a very long time to believe it.
Meanwhile, on IWH, at least one guy kept making up reasons for her behavior that were not flirtatious.
I want this to be a warning story. Even if you have a definite irreversible physical issue that most women do not like (like me being 5’3), don’t waste opportunities. I ended up reconnecting with her during the pandemic; otherwise, I’d still be alone wondering if I’d ever had a chance. She is still physical perfection to me, and I adore her husband now that I’ve actually met him. She set me up with a friend, who is now my official girlfriend and has told me not to say anything beyond that in Reddit about her. (She found my IWH posts; luckily I only talked about her in depth once because I didn’t want to depress the men on that site. That post had a warning, and I still got angry DMs saying she’s break up with me as soon as the pandemic was over. I pretended to agree.)
Since IWH is gone, I’ll likely leave Reddit soon, but I thought this story may help someone trying to exit the blackpill mentality (assuming anyone read all this).
Tldr: A girl I worked with in college flirted with me for three years, yet I felt like no one would date me because I’m 5’3 and not masculine and thus ignored her signals. Now she’s married happily to someone else.

 
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358642
 
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@OldVirgin read it if you have time
 
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At 5’3 it never began
 
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