When did you realize you will always be alone?

[Vireon]

Just had this realization like a week ago, my social skills are straight ass, I hate trying to meet new people, I hate trying to mask my personality to make other people like me so they can be my friend, I also expect my soulmate (only 55ppl out of 8billion ppl btw) to randomly find me while I actively just do nothing but LDAR, I never go out, my fashion sucks and I'm ugly.

I don't know what to do because I'm pretty sure you actually need a person to be at your best, but I do not want to find that person. I always get jealous because my current friends (2-3) have crazy big friend groups like, 20-30 people and they don't know that they're my closest friends. I wish I could also stop hyper analyzing my face because even when I fraud, I keep looking at my failos which makes me ashamed to even look in the mirror. When I converse with my mom, I feel like I don't belong near her because I'm too ugly.

Btw unrelated but I do talk to peoplebut I always ghost them because I FUCKING HATE HAVING TO TALK TO FEMALES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY MAKE YOU TURN GAY SO I NOW TYPE LIKE "omgg i love thatt" TO EVEN MY HIGH T MALE FRIENDS!!!!!!!

If you're gonna DNR my ahh then atleast REP!!

Didn't even make this post to vent but now ig here we are lol

 

[Vireon]

BBBBBB

 

[zakachiti]

I think the realization slowly creeps into your life rather than popping out of nowhere