whenever i try to feel in me love for my parents i feelsad

D

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I am Richard
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so i start feeling angry at them cuz then i don t feel sad. i rarely talk to them. havbent talked my mom in many weeks. only talked my dad once in months.
 
i forget they exist when i remember its opposite of derealization it feels strange , so i distract myself by internet or daydreaming
 
daydreaming is an addiction
 

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