Where can i get a gun illegally

[Deleted member 15164]

I can't get one the regular way cuz I've been institutionalized. I want one to use on myself cause I'm planning on offing myself. I can use pills but I've tried that like three times and i survived them. I feel as if that's such a foid attempt. I can try pills the fourth time by swallowing them and trying taking a nap afterward which will turn into eternal slumber. I just want an easy death.