McSkziofren
Step into the maze
- Joined
- May 11, 2025
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I also have "quiet" borderline, I haven't received any official paperwork yet, my therapist doesn't think paperwork is important, unless I ask for it, but I would have a hard time denying that I have problems.
I would be interested to know how anyone here struggles with this, since officially CPTSD is not even a diagnosis. Sometimes I have doubts that they can't help me, and it's okay that I'm seeing a psychotherapist (this is my 3rd), but I don't know if he can really help. I started seeing him a few months ago, but all the pain I have inside me is starting to subside, another disappointment/failure/emptiness keeps piling up, and lately the self-deprecation seems to be becoming unbearable. I haven't been able to fully trust my therapist either, the previous ones betrayed my trust very badly, which I haven't been able to recover from yet. I'm already "waiting" for him to announce that he can't take me anymore, or something like that will happen, or something will happen on my part, and this too will be interrupted, because I feel like this is what's coming. I've been struggling with the darkness inside me for a long time, I'm a twenty-year-old university student, but this hell in my soul is slowly taking everything away from me. It's like a battle between windmills, I'm afraid to get attached to anyone, because another slap hurts more and more, and I can't even get up from it. At the same time, I can hardly breathe from loneliness. I could go on and on. But I don't know with all this... what are the hopes?
