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unloveablelarp
Iron
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2026
- Posts
- 6
- Reputation
- 10
I’ve been on and off with this girl for the last 2 years now, always talked at some point. Never been together though. We had a thing last February on Valentines but she stood me up on the same day. I bought nice flowers, sweets, chocolates all the cool stuff. Now we started properly speaking again around December, last week I asked her again and she said yes, again. So obviously I started texting her more and trying to talk to her most of the time but not 24/7. I’m only 16 but I’ve never had a hug, kiss or a relationship ever. I tried talking to her the other day asking what lessons she has for the day in school and my ears were thumping and my heart was jumping out my chest. It went as well as you can imagine. We always stare at each other and stuff but once I start showing affection - asking how her day was and how she’s feeling, she replies but never asks me. I have to not text her for a full day just for her to text me first half the time. I can’t just tell her how I feel, I tried that last year and it ended up fizzling out. Idk, it’s like I’m just reading the same book again expecting a different ending. I show her I care but then she starts slowing down on everything. Why do I have to show less love in order to be more loved? These couple days I’ve just wallowing in thought and have no desire to do anything, I’ve stopped jerking off, playing games and all of that. I’ve started eating way less compared to what I used to. I feel empty most days, but sure I’ll have some laughs at school. When it’s me in my room alone at the end of the day, I have no clue what to do with myself. Can’t text her or spam her because I’m not trying to be seen as a needy gremlin begging for attention. So I just listen to music for hours. My eyes are always tired but my brain isn’t so I just lay there wandering that maybe if I looked better, lost weight I’d maybe have a shot at being treated better. She’s the only girl I’ve ever talked to who’s been remotely interested after seeing what I look like. It’s not like I’m a subhuman with deformities, recessed face or anything. I’m just fat. It’s hard to cope with the absence of love for 16 years. Never feeling the touch of another woman. I hate it. She’s so beautiful I just get angry if I even think about her with another dude. I don’t know what to do. I think I’m going to play it out normally until Valentines Day and see if she decides to stand me up again. I just can’t leave her it’s an inexplainable feeling that you cannot write. Any advice on what to do?
