Why am I like this ?

[Happycel69]

It’s painful , it sucks and I hate it . Yet , I can’t change , I’m incapable of it , I’m a retard. It’s not even like I’m lacking anything at all in life. I’m above average in looks height money , especially in my country i get a Massive geomax halo, yet I still feel so fucking empty. I used to have friends, great friends , I used to be fucking loud and funny and now I can’t laugh at anything . I was doing amazing in my social life, I was able to speak to girls and pick up friends with ease being myself . But now, I can’t , I avoid people , I lost my closest friends . Idk what’s going on. I put in work and effort daily and I get results, I have amazing grades and the zeek is forming well, am financially I’m very privileged. Only unfortunate things was my childhood where I was bullied severely and maybern my acne isn’t going away even on roaccutane . My parents were not always there for me , but they aren’t evil. I literally was going out with my crush earlier this year and at some point it was so obvious we were into each other yet I told myself I was incapable of actually doing it so I never took action . I fucking hate myself , I look back at it and I literally was holding hands, how do I not handle it from there.Now I can’t bear to talk to people In school, I avoid going out much and just do my own thing at home . I’m socially very smart I would humbly say but I can’t get myself to utilise my skills already embedded in me. I would love to talk to a friend or her about this , but instead I end up on a forum like this . It’s truly sad , I don’t trust people anymore , can’t get myself to even tho I’ve had great characters in my life. Suddenly my childhood and bad memories have fucked me up. Whether people even read this thread or not , at least I could temporarily express myself for a bit . From this part of the thread on, I realise the delusion and feel stupid writing this paragraph . I cry man , I fucking cry everyday . I wanna change but I can’t and I fucking hate myself for it

 

[Eshtef]

It’s painful , it sucks and I hate it . Yet , I can’t change , I’m incapable of it , I’m a retard. It’s not even like I’m lacking anything at all in life. I’m above average in looks height money , especially in my country i get a Massive geomax halo, yet I still feel so fucking empty. I used to have friends, great friends , I used to be fucking loud and funny and now I can’t laugh at anything . I was doing amazing in my social life, I was able to speak to girls and pick up friends with ease being myself . But now, I can’t , I avoid people , I lost my closest friends . Idk what’s going on. I put in work and effort daily and I get results, I have amazing grades and the zeek is forming well, am financially I’m very privileged. Only unfortunate things was my childhood where I was bullied severely and maybern my acne isn’t going away even on roaccutane . My parents were not always there for me , but they aren’t evil. I literally was going out with my crush earlier this year and at some point it was so obvious we were into each other yet I told myself I was incapable of actually doing it so I never took action . I fucking hate myself , I look back at it and I literally was holding hands, how do I not handle it from there.Now I can’t bear to talk to people In school, I avoid going out much and just do my own thing at home . I’m socially very smart I would humbly say but I can’t get myself to utilise my skills already embedded in me. I would love to talk to a friend or her about this , but instead I end up on a forum like this . It’s truly sad , I don’t trust people anymore , can’t get myself to even tho I’ve had great characters in my life. Suddenly my childhood and bad memories have fucked me up. Whether people even read this thread or not , at least I could temporarily express myself for a bit . From this part of the thread on, I realise the delusion and feel stupid writing this paragraph . I cry man , I fucking cry everyday . I wanna change but I can’t and I fucking hate myself for it

shut up nigga

 

[zanenevalackbanks]

It’s painful , it sucks and I hate it . Yet , I can’t change , I’m incapable of it , I’m a retard. It’s not even like I’m lacking anything at all in life. I’m above average in looks height money , especially in my country i get a Massive geomax halo, yet I still feel so fucking empty. I used to have friends, great friends , I used to be fucking loud and funny and now I can’t laugh at anything . I was doing amazing in my social life, I was able to speak to girls and pick up friends with ease being myself . But now, I can’t , I avoid people , I lost my closest friends . Idk what’s going on. I put in work and effort daily and I get results, I have amazing grades and the zeek is forming well, am financially I’m very privileged. Only unfortunate things was my childhood where I was bullied severely and maybern my acne isn’t going away even on roaccutane . My parents were not always there for me , but they aren’t evil. I literally was going out with my crush earlier this year and at some point it was so obvious we were into each other yet I told myself I was incapable of actually doing it so I never took action . I fucking hate myself , I look back at it and I literally was holding hands, how do I not handle it from there.Now I can’t bear to talk to people In school, I avoid going out much and just do my own thing at home . I’m socially very smart I would humbly say but I can’t get myself to utilise my skills already embedded in me. I would love to talk to a friend or her about this , but instead I end up on a forum like this . It’s truly sad , I don’t trust people anymore , can’t get myself to even tho I’ve had great characters in my life. Suddenly my childhood and bad memories have fucked me up. Whether people even read this thread or not , at least I could temporarily express myself for a bit . From this part of the thread on, I realise the delusion and feel stupid writing this paragraph . I cry man , I fucking cry everyday . I wanna change but I can’t and I fucking hate myself for it

bro you need a goal to work towards
start smoking weed drinking alcohol eat as much oily greasy food as you can and breathe through your mouth then looksmax later and embrace the ascension

 

[IneedToslaylol]

Hey bro , I fucking get you and all but just know that it’s always worth to stay and change no matter what . You can fucking do it . Life has its highs and lows . Love you

 

[IneedToslaylol]

shut up nigga

Yall are fucking evil

 

[Eshtef]

Yall are fucking evil

hes above average in looks height and his country shut it

 

[IneedToslaylol]

shut up nigga

Fucking retard this kid is fucking depressed and yall telling him to fuck off . Wtf is wrong with yall genuinely go fuck yourself . Whatever he’s experiencing deserves at least no fucking hateful shit, that’s how people fucking end up killing themselves

 

[Eshtef]

Fucking retard this kid is fucking depressed and yall telling him to fuck off . Wtf is wrong with yall genuinely go fuck yourself . Whatever he’s experiencing deserves at least no fucking hateful shit, that’s how people fucking end up killing themselves

get off this forum fag

 

[IneedToslaylol]

hes above average in looks height and his country shut it

You do realise that means fucking nothing in terms of mental health right. The least you could fucking do is not respond to his thread . Wouldn’t even be surprised if he fucking does now coz of you

 

[Happycel69]

You do realise that means fucking nothing in terms of mental health right. The least you could fucking do is not respond to his thread . Wouldn’t even be surprised if he fucking does now coz of you

Yo bro I appreciate it but tgeres no need to defend me it’s fine . I knew writing this would get people like him to respond and it’s fine

 

[zanenevalackbanks]

You do realise that means fucking nothing in terms of mental health right. The least you could fucking do is not respond to his thread . Wouldn’t even be surprised if he fucking does now coz of you

fuckk man i can pull girls i can buy whatever i want and chill and im tall my life is so terrible man fuckkkk i remember the good ol hustling days

 

[protocels]

hes above average in looks height and his country shut it

some people drown kek

 

[Eshtef]

You do realise that means fucking nothing in terms of mental health right. The least you could fucking do is not respond to his thread . Wouldn’t even be surprised if he fucking does now coz of you

he is a retard hes not using his "good looks" to his advantage

 

[punkgroupies666]

It’s painful , it sucks and I hate it . Yet , I can’t change , I’m incapable of it , I’m a retard. It’s not even like I’m lacking anything at all in life. I’m above average in looks height money , especially in my country i get a Massive geomax halo, yet I still feel so fucking empty. I used to have friends, great friends , I used to be fucking loud and funny and now I can’t laugh at anything . I was doing amazing in my social life, I was able to speak to girls and pick up friends with ease being myself . But now, I can’t , I avoid people , I lost my closest friends . Idk what’s going on. I put in work and effort daily and I get results, I have amazing grades and the zeek is forming well, am financially I’m very privileged. Only unfortunate things was my childhood where I was bullied severely and maybern my acne isn’t going away even on roaccutane . My parents were not always there for me , but they aren’t evil. I literally was going out with my crush earlier this year and at some point it was so obvious we were into each other yet I told myself I was incapable of actually doing it so I never took action . I fucking hate myself , I look back at it and I literally was holding hands, how do I not handle it from there.Now I can’t bear to talk to people In school, I avoid going out much and just do my own thing at home . I’m socially very smart I would humbly say but I can’t get myself to utilise my skills already embedded in me. I would love to talk to a friend or her about this , but instead I end up on a forum like this . It’s truly sad , I don’t trust people anymore , can’t get myself to even tho I’ve had great characters in my life. Suddenly my childhood and bad memories have fucked me up. Whether people even read this thread or not , at least I could temporarily express myself for a bit . From this part of the thread on, I realise the delusion and feel stupid writing this paragraph . I cry man , I fucking cry everyday . I wanna change but I can’t and I fucking hate myself for it

you gotta work for the change bro it doesnt come by itself, everything will get better once you start loving yourself and find what you truley are.

 

[Happycel69]

Im

he is a retard hes not using his "good looks" to his advantage

not model tier but I get a massive adcvatge since I’m wasian in south east Asia , I’m not tall I’m just 180 which is already very manageable here. I get compliments for my looks but I don’t fucking understand why, and I’m not saying this outta pride or making it up . I’m genuinely a bum and I know that

 

[Happycel69]

you gotta work for the change bro it doesnt come by itself, everything will get better once you start loving yourself and find what you truley are.

My biggest issue is making the change to talk to others and actually build confidence . I have changed my looks drastically but deep down I feel still like some fat kid . It’s phyycological and I’ve even gone for counselling but nothing works . I’m waiting for a miracle at this point

 

[punkgroupies666]

My biggest issue is making the change to talk to others and actually build confidence . I have changed my looks drastically but deep down I feel still like some fat kid . It’s phyycological and I’ve even gone for counselling but nothing works . I’m waiting for a miracle at this point

i also struggle with confidence snd talking to ppl myself but sometimes its easier when yourw with ur mates, and you need to boost yourself and not feel like how u feel, music works great tbh, whenever i feel low or sad i js blast loud music to change my mood

 

[Happycel69]

i also struggle with confidence snd talking to ppl myself but sometimes its easier when yourw with ur mates, and you need to boost yourself and not feel like how u feel, music works great tbh, whenever i feel low or sad i js blast loud music to change my mood

Wish it would work but doesn’t . Thanks tho