why do i have so much hate in my heart?

[bignosesmallchin]

I genuinely want to fix this but I have this boiling feeling inside my chest that makes it very hard to change. Does anyone have any good books or videos or movies anything I can watch to help me if you understand what I mean. I am a hateful and spiteful person but it's hard to change when you are able to justify all these things to yourself and not feel bad, it's not even like I have to do mental gymnastics to justify the way I feel about some things, it's just the way I feel and it makes complete sense, but I know I'm dead wrong for it because the more shitty I become as a person, the more shitty my life gets and it's not even like the things are connected, if you know what I am getting at.

How the fuck do I change this? I was doing good a year ago but it's went downhill maybe I've just got myself in a bad spot and need to go elsewhere to clear my mind but Idk.

 

[inversions]

Have sex

 

[crazyguy]

I genuinely want to fix this but I have this boiling feeling inside my chest that makes it very hard to change. Does anyone have any good books or videos or movies anything I can watch to help me if you understand what I mean. I am a hateful and spiteful person but it's hard to change when you are able to justify all these things to yourself and not feel bad, it's not even like I have to do mental gymnastics to justify the way I feel about some things, it's just the way I feel and it makes complete sense, but I know I'm dead wrong for it because the more shitty I become as a person, the more shitty my life gets and it's not even like the things are connected, if you know what I am getting at.

How the fuck do I change this? I was doing good a year ago but it's went downhill maybe I've just got myself in a bad spot and need to go elsewhere to clear my mind but Idk.

im similar to you, you cant change this

 

[superpsycho]

the hate you feel is justified

 

[bignosesmallchin]

Have sex

Ya buddy I have plenty lol. But since I've become shittier as a person, the women I've been fucking have become even more trashy. When ur a shitty person u get shitty women I want a good woman but I'm not a good man at least right now I'm not

 

[bignosesmallchin]

the hate you feel is justified

no but I feel like it is but I know it's not

 

[superpsycho]

no but I feel like it is but I know it's not

who or what do u hate specifically

 

[bignosesmallchin]

im similar to you, you cant change this

Maybe you can't change it but I do know from experience that if you mask it you will enjoy the same things that good non hateful men get to enjoy, maybe even more, I didn't keep up the schtik long enough to find out, I need to just bite the bullet and start living the way I know I should even if I don't want to

 

[degenblondie]

Siddhartha by Herman Hesse deals with this

 

[inversions]

Ya buddy I have plenty lol. But since I've become shittier as a person, the women I've been fucking have become even more trashy. When ur a shitty person u get shitty women I want a good woman but I'm not a good man at least right now I'm not

Idk i used to hate a lot too before

Now i just resist mate

 

[crazyguy]

Maybe you can't change it but I do know from experience that if you mask it you will enjoy the same things that good non hateful men get to enjoy, maybe even more, I didn't keep up the schtik long enough to find out, I need to just bite the bullet and start living the way I know I should even if I don't want to

but wouldnt all your hate get bottled up if you did that? you'd surely snap if that happened

 

[bignosesmallchin]

who or what do u hate specifically

People that perceive as something I'm not, people that I feel disrespect me or see me as less. I'm also just not a very kind person in some ways. Idk it's hard to put words to it but I know God is disappointed with how I've been living. I'm also very disrespectful and mean to my mother because I feel she did me wrong my whole childhood and I say bad things about my father. While I feel like I'm justified in those things I know those things aren't justifiable in God's eyes. It's hard to set my ego aside I guess.

 

[superpsycho]

People that perceive as something I'm not, people that I feel disrespect me or see me as less. I'm also just not a very kind person in some ways

seems like you’ve encountered some pretty condescending people

ive cut those kind of people off (normies) and dont regret it

 

[bignosesmallchin]

Siddhartha by Herman Hesse deals with this

I'll check it out, thank you.

 

[kenibba]

dnr. fall in love

 

[Arbuscular]

 

[Arbuscular]

ashwagandha

 

[neverbegan2007]

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brutal