billy17
Iron
- Joined
- Jun 19, 2026
- Posts
- 19
- Reputation
- 10
Hi, just had a thought about this while going to sleep, and would like to share my thoughts alongside serving as a reminder for what matches and couples really mean in most modern dating markets.
My thoughts came from a rhetorical question, if a girl in school or tinder said she liked a certain guy, does she really like him, or does she rather like him and everybody In the leagues above? If yes, then why show and publicly express attraction to that particular individual instead of searching for something even slightly higher if options are so wide today.
My thoughts:
The root cause of a female saying she "likes" a certain guy is split into 3 main variables accounting for that innate linear attraction, ill sort them from the least to most influential.
1. Pheno
When someone says they have a "type", they will always refer to a specific phenotype or race, this is most often determined by what the family/surrounding culture always deemed to be attractive, and what specific people who you personally know have the best and worst connotations in your life.
e.g your dad or mom pointing out which guy/girl was/is cute when you were younger, or an htb
or above which showed you love rather than disgust especially if you are used to disrespect and humiliation as an ltn(b) and below.
Idk if you know faceiq, but he is one of the clearest examples who has a preference for a very distinct bone structure and face ratios, which might stray from the ideal, but seem the most appealing in his perspective.
2. Social circumstances, build up, and peer pressure
One of the most underrated, but important things which decide which people are likely or deemed to match, as what the friend group(s) around you rumor and gossip to be, often becomes reality, with people convincing the friend to ask the other out, even if you weren't fully convinced that she/him was your looksmatch earlyer. Inverse things apply if a certain person is widely hated in the same social circle.
Of course, this point is completely irrelevant if you are homeschooled, or a complete social outcast.
3. Security
The single most important factor why people match in the way they do is the feeling that you 'deserve' you partner.
I this case, 'deserve' means that this rank of looks which you selected as your match has a low chance of breaking up/divorcing/leaving you for any other rank of looks as the next level would be far less likely to pick them as their match, meaning that this so called "love" is simply a self preservation instinct out of the fear of humiliation by the subsequent rank.
"two by two of every creature with the breath of life"
Genesis 7:9, 15-16
Overall a very water thread, sure, but I still found it cool to reflect on this topic of romantic matches and pairs in our world, and to never forget why we are with the person we are with, which is far from "love".
My thoughts came from a rhetorical question, if a girl in school or tinder said she liked a certain guy, does she really like him, or does she rather like him and everybody In the leagues above? If yes, then why show and publicly express attraction to that particular individual instead of searching for something even slightly higher if options are so wide today.
My thoughts:
The root cause of a female saying she "likes" a certain guy is split into 3 main variables accounting for that innate linear attraction, ill sort them from the least to most influential.
1. Pheno
When someone says they have a "type", they will always refer to a specific phenotype or race, this is most often determined by what the family/surrounding culture always deemed to be attractive, and what specific people who you personally know have the best and worst connotations in your life.
e.g your dad or mom pointing out which guy/girl was/is cute when you were younger, or an htb
or above which showed you love rather than disgust especially if you are used to disrespect and humiliation as an ltn(b) and below.Idk if you know faceiq, but he is one of the clearest examples who has a preference for a very distinct bone structure and face ratios, which might stray from the ideal, but seem the most appealing in his perspective.
2. Social circumstances, build up, and peer pressure
One of the most underrated, but important things which decide which people are likely or deemed to match, as what the friend group(s) around you rumor and gossip to be, often becomes reality, with people convincing the friend to ask the other out, even if you weren't fully convinced that she/him was your looksmatch earlyer. Inverse things apply if a certain person is widely hated in the same social circle.
Of course, this point is completely irrelevant if you are homeschooled, or a complete social outcast.
3. Security
The single most important factor why people match in the way they do is the feeling that you 'deserve' you partner.
I this case, 'deserve' means that this rank of looks which you selected as your match has a low chance of breaking up/divorcing/leaving you for any other rank of looks as the next level would be far less likely to pick them as their match, meaning that this so called "love" is simply a self preservation instinct out of the fear of humiliation by the subsequent rank.
"two by two of every creature with the breath of life"
Genesis 7:9, 15-16
Overall a very water thread, sure, but I still found it cool to reflect on this topic of romantic matches and pairs in our world, and to never forget why we are with the person we are with, which is far from "love".
