nopeguy8
Iron
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2025
- Posts
- 75
- Reputation
- 76
Started the year off with nobody. Just by myself, in my room. alone. 
I started school in September, and I remember my mom surprising me with a trip back home, to my home country to meet family. At first, I was a little excited sure, but I realized that this was going to mean that I would not have the chance to make a friend group, and just overall be "neurotypical". (It was a new-high school, so i didnt know anybody).
Basically, I lost the pivotal section of the school year where friend groups develop etc. I ended up returning near the end of december, near Christmas, which once again was spent alone. For the first two months from coming back from my country, I had zero friends, zero genuine connections, litterly nobody.
I turned into essentially a degenerate. I was masturbating nearly 2x + a day, doing bad habits, eating bad food, making my skin look worse, not socializing, nothing. To top it off, I came back when school exams were starting as well, which I did pass, but not with a good percentage.
February came up, spent my birthday with "family". sure i was happy, but i still felt depressed and alone and isolated.
The next few months were actually ok, the new semester had started, so maybe i had a chance to find some friends, develop some connections, maybe even approach this one girl i liked.
Life was going good, until last week. I approached her after my best friend kept on nagging me about it. Suprisingly, she said yes. ! i was overjoyed. this is the first time in my life with a girl i actually like. I developed a oneitis for her over the past couple of months, ever since laying eyes on her. I even remember seeing her on the first day of school. This beautiful, pretty girl. The best part about this was she actually liked me back, ever since she saw me too. Although, she said she was way to shy to approach me. green FN i guess.
i thought i scored the perfect shot hahahah
Now i will recount the next six days of my life.
Firstly, i for some reason began procrastinating even more. Not sure why this happened, but yeah it led to me getting a few bad grades on some tests. Nothing too brutal it happens to some people, i know that of course.
Nothing too much happened over the last 4 days, just talking to her, getting to know her, and planning a date. She was calling me handsome allat, saying she was very attracted to me, etc.. all this other stuff. i naturally of course complimented her back. Although i was very nervous to her irl, i felt a genuine connection, maybe since she is the first girl i have ever talked to.
Me and a couple of my childhood friends had a argument yesterday as well, which some really bad insults were thrown around, which made me feel a little bad, but it was of course, whatever.
Now yesterday, me and her went on a date. It was a little awkward, and I was very nervous. I could tell she was too. Every time we did interact (since me nad her are in the same class, we both used to be very shy when speaking to one another), so naturally, when we did go on a date, we were both very shy as well.
It went well though.
Now the same day, im just chilling in my room after school. My class ended, so i naturally just went to go relax, check my phone, see whats up. I got a text message from her. I opened it up. She asked me if there were rumours spreading around of us "dating". Completely oblivious to the situation, i responded with "I don't know what your talking about".
I am not sure what still fully happened until now, but apparently large parts of her friend group began to figure out that i was talking to her. Mind you, im very sure nobody knows who i am. I remember, two of her friends, or idk, mutuals you could say approached me asking if i was "dating her" or "if i was hanging out with her". I responded by saying "Idk, not yet haha", and i thought it was nothing much. You know, neurotypical people do that to each other a lot.
She included this one detail about when she left the school yesterday that a group of her friends and apparently some people who she was on "bad terms' with were saying things, talking shit about her, giving her weird looks, and other stuff like that.
I tried to deal with the situation, but i dont know, nothing really happened past that. i just told her, if they harass you again, ill deal with it.
now to what just happened
Nearly 40 minutes ago, my oneitis told me that she wasn't ready for a relationship.
I was playing some games with some of my friends, until she texted me, asking if we could call. thinking nothing much of it, I excused myself and went on call.
She started off by saying "Do you see us dating, or in a relationship?", i was hesitant to respond, so i took a couple seconds, and then replied with "Im not sure, i want to know what you think of it", or something along the lines of that.
Then she went on to say, well i dont know if i want to be in a relationship with you yet, and other stuff about not being ready at the moment. I asked her if she found me unattractive, she responded with no, and she even mentioned my reposts, where i someimtes used to repost satire "looksmaxxing" or "blackpilled" esc videos, and said to me that she assures me that, that, was not the problem.
ill just show you guys the texts, because i dont really know how to explain.
fuck, i was already depressed, and i have had the last couple of days experiencing suicidal thoughts and other shit like that.
you guys can call me sensitive, maybe im just being a big bitch.
but at the same time like what? its not even been 6 days.
Why would she even say this to me if all that happened was what, 6 days of fucking speaking to each other?
I am gonna find out if the rumours that were being spread about me quite possibly contained something false, or maybe her friends bullied her, coerced her into dropping me.
or maybe, its because i am ugly and neurodivergent.
its over
I started school in September, and I remember my mom surprising me with a trip back home, to my home country to meet family. At first, I was a little excited sure, but I realized that this was going to mean that I would not have the chance to make a friend group, and just overall be "neurotypical". (It was a new-high school, so i didnt know anybody).
Basically, I lost the pivotal section of the school year where friend groups develop etc. I ended up returning near the end of december, near Christmas, which once again was spent alone. For the first two months from coming back from my country, I had zero friends, zero genuine connections, litterly nobody.
I turned into essentially a degenerate. I was masturbating nearly 2x + a day, doing bad habits, eating bad food, making my skin look worse, not socializing, nothing. To top it off, I came back when school exams were starting as well, which I did pass, but not with a good percentage.
February came up, spent my birthday with "family". sure i was happy, but i still felt depressed and alone and isolated.
The next few months were actually ok, the new semester had started, so maybe i had a chance to find some friends, develop some connections, maybe even approach this one girl i liked.
Life was going good, until last week. I approached her after my best friend kept on nagging me about it. Suprisingly, she said yes. ! i was overjoyed. this is the first time in my life with a girl i actually like. I developed a oneitis for her over the past couple of months, ever since laying eyes on her. I even remember seeing her on the first day of school. This beautiful, pretty girl. The best part about this was she actually liked me back, ever since she saw me too. Although, she said she was way to shy to approach me. green FN i guess.
i thought i scored the perfect shot hahahah
Now i will recount the next six days of my life.
Firstly, i for some reason began procrastinating even more. Not sure why this happened, but yeah it led to me getting a few bad grades on some tests. Nothing too brutal it happens to some people, i know that of course.
Nothing too much happened over the last 4 days, just talking to her, getting to know her, and planning a date. She was calling me handsome allat, saying she was very attracted to me, etc.. all this other stuff. i naturally of course complimented her back. Although i was very nervous to her irl, i felt a genuine connection, maybe since she is the first girl i have ever talked to.
Me and a couple of my childhood friends had a argument yesterday as well, which some really bad insults were thrown around, which made me feel a little bad, but it was of course, whatever.
Now yesterday, me and her went on a date. It was a little awkward, and I was very nervous. I could tell she was too. Every time we did interact (since me nad her are in the same class, we both used to be very shy when speaking to one another), so naturally, when we did go on a date, we were both very shy as well.
It went well though.
Now the same day, im just chilling in my room after school. My class ended, so i naturally just went to go relax, check my phone, see whats up. I got a text message from her. I opened it up. She asked me if there were rumours spreading around of us "dating". Completely oblivious to the situation, i responded with "I don't know what your talking about".
I am not sure what still fully happened until now, but apparently large parts of her friend group began to figure out that i was talking to her. Mind you, im very sure nobody knows who i am. I remember, two of her friends, or idk, mutuals you could say approached me asking if i was "dating her" or "if i was hanging out with her". I responded by saying "Idk, not yet haha", and i thought it was nothing much. You know, neurotypical people do that to each other a lot.
She included this one detail about when she left the school yesterday that a group of her friends and apparently some people who she was on "bad terms' with were saying things, talking shit about her, giving her weird looks, and other stuff like that.
I tried to deal with the situation, but i dont know, nothing really happened past that. i just told her, if they harass you again, ill deal with it.
now to what just happened
Nearly 40 minutes ago, my oneitis told me that she wasn't ready for a relationship.
I was playing some games with some of my friends, until she texted me, asking if we could call. thinking nothing much of it, I excused myself and went on call.
She started off by saying "Do you see us dating, or in a relationship?", i was hesitant to respond, so i took a couple seconds, and then replied with "Im not sure, i want to know what you think of it", or something along the lines of that.
Then she went on to say, well i dont know if i want to be in a relationship with you yet, and other stuff about not being ready at the moment. I asked her if she found me unattractive, she responded with no, and she even mentioned my reposts, where i someimtes used to repost satire "looksmaxxing" or "blackpilled" esc videos, and said to me that she assures me that, that, was not the problem.
ill just show you guys the texts, because i dont really know how to explain.
fuck, i was already depressed, and i have had the last couple of days experiencing suicidal thoughts and other shit like that.
you guys can call me sensitive, maybe im just being a big bitch.
but at the same time like what? its not even been 6 days.
Why would she even say this to me if all that happened was what, 6 days of fucking speaking to each other?
I am gonna find out if the rumours that were being spread about me quite possibly contained something false, or maybe her friends bullied her, coerced her into dropping me.
or maybe, its because i am ugly and neurodivergent.
its over
